Cleo's Heart Decisions.

Desperation Under The Full Moon.

"Talk to the full moon and let the moon know exactly you want no matter how much pain you feel."

~night, pack house~

Cleo's pov

"I am a what?" I ask shocked staring at him with open mouth.

I think my ears are affected from Thor's slap but it has been hours since he slapped me and I had no problem till now, so...

What on earth?

"Cleo?" Adelaine and my mom say in union but I am too surprised to react.

I keep on staring at my dad that is trembling with a panicked yet furious expression and I feel my skin shuddering from nervousness feeling Thor's eyes on me.

Alright, they are all staring at me, I know it already but with Thor is different!

I think he wants to kill me more than before and right now believe it or not I don't give a damn shot about him and his intentions!

"Why? How could you do this to us? Why didn't you tell us?" my dad screams again breathless and I blink my eyes confused.

I mean... How is he saying something like this? How did he think of this?

I...

"Tell you what? I don't get a thing you are saying!" I say in frustration and he curses with the veins on his neck making their appearance.

FUCK!

He is way too angry for no damn reason!

I? Pregnant?

Wait! Did he say pregnant? I am pregnant?!

"Cleo, just say the truth! I... I knew something was wrong!" he continues in the same tone and I turn to my mom that is moving her gaze from him to me and the opposite in confusion.

"There is nothing wrong! I am not pregnant, I don't know what you are talking about!" I say taking one step back with William joining my side worried.

"Then why did Kevin text you asking why didn't you tell him about your pregnancy?" my father roars raising his hand and showing my phone.

HUH?

Fuck my life!

I can't believe it! This is... Insane!

"ARE YOU?" Thor roars making all of us jump up and before I realize it he has grabbed me from my elbow and pulls me on him away from my mom and Will.

FUCK!

This hurts so damn much!

"Thor enough!" Richard shouts walking to us.

"Father, you stay out of it!" Thor screams while grabbing my other elbow forcing me to look at him and...

The ground disappears under me, my whole body starts shivering and I feel nothing else as I am too lost and drown to get focused to what I feel or think.

You don't want to see him in this condition! He is ten times worse than he was in his office, if he could shift in here then he would!

"CLEO I HAD ENOUGH!" Clea screams breaking the barriers I had put between us from before and making me gain my mind again.

She is right, we had enough!

"I am not and don't touch me!" I yell pushing him back catching him off guard the moment Richard, William and Gabriel come to separate us and I turn to my father that is still in his own world.

"I have no idea how the f**k you took my phone from my room and got in my messages but the last thing I am is pregnant! And if you want proofs then we can go to the pack hospital right now to confirm it!" I say and walk to him passing by my mom that is shaking with Cassidy on her side.

"Then why did Kevin ask you? Why... Is he the father? Is he your..."

"GIVE ME MY PHONE!" I demand cutting him off and he hands it to me growling outraged.

"I can't believe it..." Elliot whispers in an extremely low tone but due to the silence I listen to him and I turn to lock my eyes on him furious.

"Close your damn mouth or I am going to come over there and zit it for you!" I warn him through my teeth and he stiffens next to Finn shocked.

I turn back to my phone again and go straight to the messages.

Yes, Kevin sent me three messages about half an hour ago but...

"How could you not tell me about your pregnancy? I shouldn't have been informed from Bree! I am going to kill you!" I read out loud and they all freeze, my mom turns pale ready to pass out, Thor is one step from tearing down the entire pack house and the others are staring at me shocked but...

There are two more messages and everything is explained!

"I am sorry Cleo babe, I wanted to sent it to Callie! Your name is right under hers and I was in hurry!" I continue with the second message and I raise my eyebrows turning to my dad that is taking one step back gasping confused.

"And please call me to tell me how your flight was! I miss you..." I say reading the last one and put the phone in my jacket's pocket to cross my arms in front of my chest next.

I want to kill someone and I guess I am going to start from Elliot and Finn, I hate them anyway!

"I am waiting!" I state running out of patience with my eyes never leaving my father's nervous yet frustrated figure.

"So you are not pregnant, right?" Adelaine asks relieved and I nod my head.

"I knew it!" my mom whispers breathless and sits on the cough.

"Of course she couldn't have been! She would have told us, she is a logical girl!" Richard states while freeing Thor from his hold with Will and Gabriel taking one step back and away from them.

"Thank you Richard, at least you proved you know me well enough, unlike some others!" I say with bitterness for my father that clears his throat running his hands through his thick hair.

"I... I am sorry! I was worried about you and I couldn't think clearly!" he mutters avoiding eye contact with me and I sigh shaking my head ironically.

Yes, every single time the same thing, the same excuse!

"How did you break into my room? I had locked it!" I say doing my best not to start screaming while Clea is growling in my mind for Thor that continues staring at me in high dudgeon.

"I... I had been calling you and you weren't answering my calls, the same thing had been happening with William and I thought you had an accident or something! I..."

"Had a second key! Despite what you told me during our drive from the airport!" I end his phrase in acknowledge and he lowers his head defeated.

"I can't believe you are such a liar!" I say through my teeth and my mom stands up much calmer than before and looks at him in disappointment.

Okay, at least she had no idea about it! She didn't take part in this and she is taking my side now! This is something!

"And next?" Cassidy asks timidly.

"I... I went in her room but then I listened to her phone ringing and I realized that she had forgotten it here and I took it from her bag, I had no intention to see the messages but I opened it by mistake and it appeared the first text from Kevin... I read it instinctually and I lost it..." he explains and lifts his head to look at me apologetically.

"And couldn't you read the rest messages? You had already broke my privacy!" I say in annoyance.

"I am sorry, okay? I remembered your mother telling me that you were crying after your mini meeting with Thor because you got emotional and that you were worried of disappointing us and I put the pieces together and... Then I had suspicions that Kevin is your boyfriend or mate because when we came to see you one year ago you two were extremely close and I didn't think of reading the next two!" he says in hurry and...

Ouch!

This man just killed me for two reasons!

Firstly, he just said about me crying after meeting Thor and now the asshole is going to be very happy yet pleased about hurting me so much, I am sure he is going to do lots of worse things to continue breaking me and I have lost my pride for good!

And secondly, I didn't need the others to know about my insecurity caused from Thor (well, for once more he knows about it, the others will just think that I am too nervous about becoming the pack's new Beta) and I f*****g hate it!

Not to mention that his suspicions about me and Kevin are going to put me into troubles with everyone, such as Thor... Well, I don't know what he is thinking, really! He doesn't want me so what is his problem if I have someone else or if I am pregnant? This would suit him because he would have one more reason to reject me and now he is mad?

For what?

And to take it further William knows that I have no boyfriend but he wants to piss off Thor so much that he is going to use it all the damn time, Adelaine and Gabriel are going to ask me about Kevin constantly, I don't care about Finn and Elliot anyway but my Alphas, Cassidy and Richard are going to be interested in meeting with Kevin! They always wanted someone special for me (imagine them finding out about their son and me, perfect, right?) and I am almost certain that they will invite him here hoping that he is my mate and the next male Beta of the pack.

And as for my mom...

I don't know what to think because she is a very pleasing surprise, she trusts me and she just proved it! She won't be a problem for me as for Kevin!

"Is Kevin your boyfriend? Really?" Gabriel asks first breaking the awkward silence and I sigh in frustration with Thor letting out a loud growl that gets on my nerves!

Is this man for real?

What the hell does he want, the others to understand us?

"No, he is not and stop it, okay?" I yell doing my best to breathe and calm down.

"So... Callie is pregnant? Your friend?" my mom asks and I nod with a weak smile.

"Yes, she found her mate at the college about six months ago and she found out about being pregnant yesterday morning. They are going to get married in some months from now and she will follow him to his pack!" I explain quickly.

"And what does Kevin has to do with this?" my dad asks angrily and I give him a warning look making him stiffen again.

"He is Bree's brother and our friend! We didn't call to tell him last day and probably Bree told him today and he wanted to tease Callie but he sent to me by accident! And don't you keep on acting like you are the victim here!" I say narrowing my eyes and he raises his hands defeated.

"Good! And now that everything is explained I think Thor has to apologize to Cleo for his behavior a while ago..." William states giving Thor a meaningful smirk and I bite my lower lip nervously.

Thor groans in tension, gives me a short, angry look and gets ready to say something but Cassidy walks to him and Will and stares at him firmly.

NO!

I know this expression of hers!

"Your brother is right! We all know you got worried for Cleo and angry in the idea of her keeping such a secret from you but you overreacted and you hurt her! She needs an apology so go to take a walk together and talk about it!" she says strictly and William smirks devilishly.

Shit!

"Luna, there is nothing to apologize about unlike me that I was rude and crossed the line in front of you! I understand why he did it, there is no problem at all!" I say immediately scared of having to stay alone with him again and Adelaine nods agreeing with me.

"Yes, Cassidy! You know these two, Thor was always taking everything related to Cleo more seriously than he should."

"But this doesn't change the fact that he hurt her! Right dad?" William says again turning to Richard that never leaves Thor possibility of denying something and he nods firmly.

"Yes! And Thor you two surely want to spend time together! Haven't you missed each other?"

"Yes father but it's too late and she is tired! We can go for a walk tomorrow!" he replies nervously but Cassidy clears her throat in frustration and he nods sighing heavily.

"Alright! Fair enough! Come Cleo, let's go for a walk!" he murmurs through his teeth and I exhale trying to get rid of my nervousness and think of something to say and prevent this from happening but Clea is howling and moving so much in my mind and I can't listen to my thoughts!

"And before the kids leave I think that you have to give Cleo her room's key Etan!" my mom speaks up keeping her anger under control with difficulty and he nods weakly, takes the key from his pocket and hands it to me while Thor stops next to me with a blank look.

"I am going to make sure you won't have another key and this is why I am going to change the locker personally father!" I whisper warningly.

"Cleo, I..."

"No! Just don't talk to me until I calm down but don't you dare think that we are over! I am going to have a very good talk with you tomorrow!" I cut him off and I turn again to Thor that is tapping his foot on the floor in impatience.

He signs for me to walk first and I do as he wants with a heavy heart, he follows me and we are about to get out of the room no matter how much I wish I could avoid it.

I don't want to stay alone with him, I am not ready, I am still hurt and I need time! Clea is not help after he slapped me and I have no idea what to expect anymore.

"Hey, we can come with you!" Elliot states sitting up from the couch he had been sitting till now and Finn shakes his head in agreement.

"NO!" William and Thor yell in union using their alpha tone making them sit down again and I get out of the living room with Thor one step behind me.

Do you know what?

I hate these assholes but right now I would prefer them come with us! I am sure they have no idea about me and Thor or else they would have said worse things in order to put me in difficult situation and give me a harder time!

Could I change Thor with them? PLEASE!

We get out of the house passing by some omegas that bow to us and the second I set my foot on the ground after the pack house's stairs Thor grabs me from my elbow for once more and starts dragging me to the woods while looking around us to her sure that no one can see us.

I want to push him away and break into screaming, shout and tell him that he is an asshole and I want him to stay away from me but I decide to follow him for now in order not to make a scene here at the pack.

I will have my opportunity once we stay alone away from here because the more I am realizing that he doesn't want me and I accept it the angrier I become and his behavior inside made things worse!

If he doesn't want me and he hates me that much then what does he care?

"Don't you dare step back for him! Did you hear me?" Clea roars hurt yet proud and I nod assuring her that I am in the same state of mind with her.

She is right and do you know what?!

I am heartbroken, ashamed, betrayed, desperate and in pain and at the same time I love him, I really do but I am not planning to beg him, chase him or fight for him!

He doesn't want me so I have to mourn about it for a while but then I forget about him and I start my life all over again!

I don't need him, I am strong, I am scared of nobody, not even of death so I won't stay stuck in the past and Thor!

I am not going to bend my head, there is no f*****g way!

After about ten minutes of walking quickly in silence like someone is chasing us and with my hand burning from his tight, strong hold we stop violently and he pushes me on a tree with my back hitting on its trunk with force.

I growl in frustration ready to start screaming but he walks on me and hits his fists on the left and right side next my head cursing breathless and I gasp surprised from his sudden move.

He keeps on hitting his right fist on the tree trunk behind me and I start smelling blood and most specifically his blood.

His hand is bleeding...

"WHO IS HE?" he asks me fuming and shaking uncontrollably with his eyes shining from anger under the fool moon and I feel my heart ready to explode in my chest.

I don't know what I was expecting when I thought that we would be here alone (William had no idea about this turn of the thinks or else he wouldn't want us to stay alone) but right now I am sure I wasn't expecting something like this.

I mean...

I am angry, hurt and scared at the same time!

The Thor I knew was not like this, he is more like a beast now, his features have changed so much and I don't know how he is controlling himself from doing worse than this.

"TALK!" he roars again hitting his first with more mania than before and with his other hand he grabs my jaw making me scream.

"CLEO STOP WAITING!" Clea screams berserk and I blink my eyes coming back to reality.

She is so f*****g right!

"Don't touch me!" I shout and push him back making him stumble losing his balance unprepared for such a reaction from me.

"I am done with this cheap act of yours!" I continue in a harsher tone and he growls trying to touch me again but I grab his hands with power and prevent him.

"Cleo. Stop. Pushing. It!" he says through his teeth with a wild, crazy expression and pins me again on the tree.

He touches his forehead on mine immobilizing me and his hard, massive body falls on mine trapping me for good with his blood running all over my left hand and his eyes almost black and locked on mine.

I lose the time's sense for a while getting lost in his eyes and my heart feels like striking me with thunderbolts that cuts my breath. I think I am paralyzed and there is nothing around us but after some seconds I find my lost strength and decide to put an end to this madness.

I mustn't stay next to him for too long, I can't bear it!

"Leave!" I say trying to push him off of me and he growls pressing his forehead more on mine.

"HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?" he asks me huskily and puts so much pressure on me that starts hurting me again.

"What do you care damn it?" I roar fighting to push him away.

"JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION! HAS HE MADE YOU HIS?"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GO AND f**k YOUR 'LUNA'!" I rave and manage to make him lose his balance a bit and get free by leaving his hands and kicking him on the stomach.

He doesn't seem affected from my kick, it takes him only one second to grab my left hand again with his wounded one but I slap him with my right hand and he screams from pain and surprise.

"Don't touch me or else I promise you that the whole pack is going to listen to me!" I shout making him freeze and I find the opportunity to pull back my hand and take a deep breath overwhelmed.

Thank Goddess this stopped him because I don't think I would have made it for more than one minute!

"The next time you threaten me, I...." he starts but his words trigger my anger even more and I can't control my mouth, I don't want to.

He is warning me and I don't accept it, not when I am right!

"You what?" I ask interrupting him.

"Are you going to kill me? Make me rogue? What are you going to do?" I continue putting amends not to attack him.

"Stop challenging my patience Beta!" he shouts taking one step to me but without scaring me.

"Then stop trying mine! Stop 'caring' about me because we both know you don't and I was not supposed to be your Beta but you took the decision on your own and pushed me out of your life and I am f*****g respecting it so do the same thing and stop bothering me!" I reply mimicking him and take one step forward as well.

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Neither can you! You have someone else!"

"I am your Alpha!" he roars breathless.

"The hell you are!" I scream back with my jaw clenching and he grabs me again, pulls me on him and wraps one arm around my waste leaving me gasping.

"I am losing my patience so I am asking one last time Cleo! Have you slept with him?" he almost whispers with a calmer expression that disassembling me.

"No because I wanted to do something you didn't..." I reply instinctually and he freezes, softens his hold and takes one step back.

I feel a cold breeze hitting my body as his body stops being on mine and my heart breaks with my words echoing in my head.

I wanted to wait for my mate and he...

Didn't wait for me even though he knew about us...

SHIT!

This is killing me!

I take some steps back and stop when my back hits on another tree trunk. I sit down unable to stand on my feet for more and he runs his hands through his shining hair with his gaze on the ground.

His white shirt, forehead, neck and hair are covered with his blood as his hand in still bleeding but not like before and his chest in going up and down from his fast, sharp breaths. I think he is in pain but I don't know from what. There is no way my words hurt him because he never wanted me as he surely feels no sympathy for me and even if he does then I don't want him to, I don't need it!

I place my left hand on my mouth to hold back a sob and taste his blood realizing that my bare hand and jacket are also covered with it and I can't stop some tears from falling from my eyes.

Clea is suddenly calm in my mind and lets out some low, painful cries sharing my feelings and I sigh with the need of throwing up growing bigger due to the tension.

I just want him away from me for now and...

Forever!

His presence is causing me the greatest pain there is and I am certain that there will never be anything else worse than what he has been doing to me these hours.

He has already killed our bond, right?

The last thing that matters me is his official rejection because he has rejected me from his heart already.

"Stay away from me and I will do the same!" I mutter and hide my face in my hands breathless.

"We are not over..." he states weakly while probably walking to me as I listen to his footsteps but I pull my hands off of my face and raise them to stop him.

"Yes, we are! Go back to your 'mate' and I won't say a thing!" I say again and he kneels next to me.

"Come..." he murmurs ready to touch me but I push his hands back and turn my head to the other side.

"Go and leave me alone!" I almost order him and he growls frustrated.

"Stop playing and come!" he groans and I push him back finding time to stand up and walk away from him.

"I am going for a run! Make sure you have gotten rid of the blood before you get in the pack house!" I say in exhaustion and he kicks a small rock with his foot sending it close to me by accident.

He exhales in desperation looking at me with wary and I turn and walk away leaving him behind me. I listen to him cursing and screaming while I open our distance and head to the lake some minutes away from our territory in a free land.

I am not shifting yet, I don't want to! I want to take my time and go back to the pack house too late when there will be no one awake except from the guards in order to avoid questions and discussions.

Also, I want to swim in the lake like when I was younger!

The more minutes pass the more Thor's scent weakens and my muscles relax. Clea is not growling, crying or moving frustrated, she is better and I am glad for this because I am not, my heart is breaking and I don't know how I am doing this.

I continue walking in the dark forest nonstop and after about one hour I pass my territory's borders and sigh as I feel like a weight has left from my shoulders.

Everything is peaceful and silent and the smell of the water fills my lungs making Clea purr.

The lake is not away now and with my rhythm I will be there in about ten minutes.

All this time I am thinking of everything that has happened today and the first tears leave my eyes blurring my vision slightly and run down my cheeks that feel too cold. I smell Thor's blood on me and my stomach gets a mess with the need to get rid of its scent the sooner I can becoming more necessary than ever.

I pass by the last trees and stop at the beginning of a huge rock amused yet relieved with my eyes travelling all over the lake that appears down and in front of me and I land my gaze on the reflection of the full moon in the black waters of the lake enchanted.

This is breathtaking and the water is so peaceful although the small not so cold breeze was supposed to agitate it.

I lift my head up after a while and look at the full of stars sky that is free from clouds. The stars are so many and all of them are shining brightly making the sky look dark blue and not black. The forest is just like it was about two years ago when I came here for the last time and I am glad I am finally back.

I had missed this more than anything even if I almost died here more than ten times and I should have been avoiding coming but something inside my heart drags me to this lake, it's like it's my shelter yet personal heaven...

Ironic, right?

Yes, it is but I am not scared, in fact it happens the exact opposite thing and I want to come here even more!

I take some more steps on the big rock above the lake and stop at the edge of it. Its height is about five meters and from up here the whole lake is perfectly visible with the trees and the thick forest surrounding it in harmony.

I take off my jacket, leave it down on the rock next to me and then sit down and take off my boots as well. My bare feet touch the cool hard yet rough surface of the rock and I take some deep breaths while staring at the beautiful mesmerizing moon above me.

Clea starts howling loudly feeling finally free to express herself and I join her as I leave myself break out and start crying with complaint.

I don't know why I have to be punished like this because this is a punishment and a great one! Why did he have to do this to me?

He always loved me, it was like he instinctually knew about us being mates and six months after he got sure he changed his mind and...

Left me alone!

I have no idea what does he want from me! Some time ago it was like he cared and he was jealous but what if I am wrong? What if he acted like this because his ego was hurt for listening about Kevin and the possibility of me being with him?

He had told me he didn't care earlier, he made it clear with his behavior and then with her when he...

FUCK!

How am I supposed to make it?

Being close to him hurts like hell and the worst is yet to come once he announces Lillian officially as his Luna.

What am I going to do then?

I am sure that someone is going to notice, William happened to know but now that I am here things won't be so simple, we can be revealed especially if Thor keeps on losing his temper so easily!

"I don't want the others to know!" I tell Clea with complaint and she nods in understanding.

"I don't want it either but... We'll see! I am here, don't worry, nothing is going to happen!"

"And what if I can't bear it?" I ask her trembling and wipe my tears in desperation fighting to breathe.

"We'll leave away from here and him!" she states with determination but I shake my head in denial.

"I am not leaving! I can't disappoint my parents and the pack because of him!" I say gasping.

"You won't disappoint anyone! Trust me Cleo, trust yourself! We are strong and we will make it, you'll see."

"Promise?" I ask her timidly.

She steps forward, appears in front of me and nods firmly with confidence, her big expressive eyes are filled with pride and determination and her strong aura is contagious and I sigh deeply and nod. I wipe again the tears from my eyes and cheeks and breathe slowly while lifting up my head.

I can make it, I will! Stepping back and losing is not an option for me, not anymore!

This is my home, my family, my pack and I won't give him the pleasure to drive me out of here.

"I just want real love..." I whisper out loud emotional.

My grandma were always saying that if you talk to the moon and wish something when it is whole then your wish is going to come true but...

I am not so sure about it anymore!

I stay like this for some more time when I decide to take a dive in the lake to remove Thor's scent and any other trail from my body so I stand up to get undressed and fall in the water from up here.

I used to do this although at the beginning I was scared of heights but this time it's different because it's dark and I see almost nothing, the water under me in black and scary but I don't care about it.

I sigh and get ready to pull my dress up on my hips and then take if off when I feel the well known weird, warm, pleasing sensation I used to feel until one year ago every time he was making his appearance and I get paralyzed.

Can it be?

I feel the same way like when I was catching him burning me with his big, magical, breathtaking eyes and imposing gaze and my skin shivers with my heartbeat getting faster and stronger.

Clea howls ecstatic and impatient and I manage to take a short breath and turn on my right side from where he had been always appearing to me.

My eyes widen once they meet his and everything around me faints with him being the only thing I see.

"You..."

*********************

Hello everyone!

This is the 3rd chapter full of tension, pain, desperation and emotions!

Welcome all and thanks for reading it!

I am really curious to know your opinions about it and your thoughts about what is going to happen next so please let me know!

What do you think about Thor? Is Cleo right for reacting like this? Did William help them or made things worse? Who is that man that Cleo saw?

Thank you very much from now for everything and I hope you liked the chapter and you will love the story slowly.

Please if you want to help me from now that it is the beginning and you are looking forward for the forth chapter commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts, or share the story.

This is for now, I will see you in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very, very much,

                                                         Marie...