Hapuch's Diary

Babette

I dropped the things in my hands and scuttled out of my house, 

"you can do this, Keren." I needed all the courage to settle matters with Babette.

It was a bit cloudy and airy outside, I felt the chill on my half-n***d thighs. It was pretty clear that it would rain soon.

Most of the neighbours were off to the farm but a few loitered about on the long narrow street. Some were in front of their cabins busying with chores. Friday mornings were always this quiet.

I made my way on the miniature sidewalk in-between the hedge entrance towards her door. 

After a few seconds of hesitation, I braced myself and knocked. Some time passed and there was no response. so I turned to leave, you did your best, Keren. I consoled myself and walked away.

Suddenly, her sweet voice called from behind.

"Keren. Is that you?"

I turned to her, tapping my hands on my side as I forced a fake smile. "Hi! I was just... um...passing by." I stuttered.

"It's so nice to see you." Her small hazel eyes flickered guiltily. She steps out fully with hand on her knee-length jean and the other shutting the wooden door.

 I could sense her uneasiness, I could tell she wanted to say more. I only wished she would say: I'm sorry because I wanted us to be friends again. 

"It's kind of cold out here." She said, drawing closer to me.

"That explains the spring gear you have on."

 I was referring to her peach woollen sweater which looked funny and oversized, owing to her petite body.

Babette was scarcely above 5 foot unlike me; I was 5.6 foot tall. However, height was not the problem for she was blessed with a pretty round face and a fair complexion that glowed with a hint of pink. Little wonder, she got all the attention and the nickname blonde Barbie. 

Nonetheless, Babette was naive and gullible, while I was the hot blood that would not give in to peer pressure. Back in junior high, I would stupidly take the blame for her mistakes. Who would believe someone so sweet could do crazy things? I was a loyal fool.

As weird as it was, we spoke at the same time, "I was...I.."

"You first," I said, clearing my throat. We stood face to face with a few inches between us. When was, the last time we were that close: 3 years ago.

 "Sorry about your parents." 

 I didn't want her pity so I responded, “No, absolutely not.” I pretended, “there’s nothing to be sorry about. I'm really- excited having the house to myself. You know, my folks had a long list of dos and don'ts." I scoffed sardonically, "I'm so done with that shit." 

I was over-enthusiastic; yet, anyone who knew me well could tell I was acting. "In fact, I'm having so much fun. Super exciting." I exhaled.

"Wow! That's lovely!" She said admiringly while nodding in agreement.

Is she serious right now? I'm bored to death! The more I stayed, the more likely I could say something stupid, “I should go now.”

“Um... Okay.” 

We parted ways, going opposite directions. Will you leave like that? Stop! My inner voice screamed propelling me to stop, somehow she too stopped. We looked at each other from the short distance between us.

 "Keren, I was thinking of visiting sometimes, and maybe-" she hesitated, "maybe invite our classmates for a party at your house if it's okay with you.”

“My house.”

 “You don't have to...it's just a wild thought."  

"No, no. It's kind of sudden, although it's a great- a great- uh." I was mentally searching for the right word, "a great idea." I nodded, trying to hide my excitement. This inspired her to speak on. 

"Really?" She giggled, "that's awesome, we had been thinking of a get-together sort of. Just to have fun before college."

"Sure, I'll think about it, and give you a reply soon. I could walk to your house or call out from my window." 

"Yea, like old times." 

in an instant, we grew conscious of the reality of our friendship and an unusual calmness set in.

"I'll just-" I motioned to leave.

"Keren. Please wait." Babette cut in, inching closer, "You see, um... about what I said that day. I didn't mean any of it. I was stupid and-" She hesitated for some time, flapping her hands anxiously, as she spoke.

 "Keren, you had everything that I wished for."

"What are you saying for God sake." I exclaimed, "Babette, you have the pretty face, the brain, the cool guys, except for Pancho," I corrected, "Come on girl, everyone in school adored you. I never had a tenth of those."

"You had a home to come to, I never had that." She stated mournfully.

I was calm and thrown in a jumble, "but this is your home."

Babette shook her head and added, "You have a family that cares about you, while I had parents that don’t give a s**t about me. I was jealous of you." 

"Me!" Looking intently at her.

 "Yea," she sniffled, "I naively thought Pancho was the only one who cared about me and you didn't like him. But I was... I was wrong, you were looking out for me because you cared. I'm sorry, Keren." She cried.

I grew emotional and wrapped her in a hug. we were whimpering and speaking at the same time.

"I was an a*s for not listening to you." I admitted.

"That's what friends do: break up to make up." She yapped and we both chuckled sadly.

Not until recently, that her parents had her 18 months old sisters -Talia and Tamas; Babette was the only child of Mr. Anton and Madam Valerie. Her mom sold thrift clothes in the market while her dad worked on the farm with my dad. Anton got drunk many times and strained Valerie had to deal with his mess.  

 Her parents barely had time for her, so she spent more time alone or with friends. While we were friends, she would spend time with me but when Pancho showed up, everything changed. 

Although I knew her well, it never occurred to me that she felt that way. Regardless, I got my friend back and this time, things would be different.