Hapuch's Diary

"You've been rejected!" The words echoed endlessly in my head, then came my eternal darkness. My eyes drooped, giving way to hot undistilled tears. Frustration stared at me and suddenly everything became blank. My world was crashing right before me. My life's end had kissed me and I did nothing but stare.   As I walked back home on the sturdy road. Stealthily, I passed by the neighbours that celebrated. Some parents cheered their kids in front of their cabins and some by the roadside. But I was alone, drenched in the sudden awareness of my hideous fate.     I was overwhelmed by thoughts, so much that I did not notice my surrounding. In a bid to avoid any discussion; when I saw Mr Edmundo from afar, I changed my direction.   I cornered to the left turn that led to the woods. The pathway was scarcely trodden because of the rugged landscape. There were no cabins close by, nor were there farmsteads along the path.    I walked swiftly, combating with the thoughts in my head; then faster and faster. I began racing into the green valley, allayed with beautiful scenery of hills, tall trees, and grasses. I wished I could steal a little peace from this sublime environment.   I ran in the lonely woods with every strength in me. Only the sound of chirping of birds permeated the silence of my world and the ray of morning sun cutting through the foliage of Cedar and eucalyptus grove trees.   I breathed heavily, gasping for breath as if this was a compulsory marathon. Although exhausted, I kept running. In a short time, I had gone a long distance into the woods. What could stop the bleeding of a wounded heart?   Boom ...   That was the sound of my body hitting the ground. A stump of a tree did the work, aided by my right foot. I fell face flat on the hard ground and that was the well-defined end of my race.   I rustle past some cover crops and broken twigs with navigating hands. I long seated on the ground resting my back on the base of a wild olive tree. I sat there for a while intending to reassemble the many scattered thoughts in my head.   "What am I going to tell Mom... And dad! He will be so disappointed."   My eyes grew red and steamy grief had eroded every bit of sanity in me and it suddenly erupted into a loud trembling sob. I couldn't help it. I felt my world, crumbling into rumbles.   "Keren you failed, you failed again you always fail, you are a failure, I hate you I hate you, Keren..."   I stopped to catch my breath and continued scolding,   "You couldn't be like your sister, she made dad proud, all you do is write rubbish and eat lots of food. You are just stupid and insensitive...how! How could you do this! How!"   My voice trembled, with my mouth curved downward. I wept loudly beating myself in anger and hitting my legs on the ground. I wish I could scrape the pain off my chest. I wish it was not true, I only wish.   A flood of tears had made my face wet and slightly pink. My brown hair was messy, with stray strands at all corners. With both hands, I pulled it backward, before clasping my head and letting my elbows rest on my huddled up knees.   I was burning inside me, as though a volcano erupted in me. I felt the hurting, spiraling into physical pain. It affected my dilated nostrils, hoarding the inflow of air. "What am I going to do?" I worried.   The pain seems to increase at a rather irregular pace. When I think of the circumstances surrounding my existence the pain intensified.    At one point, I grappled with the letter strangling it until it tore into two halves. Nevertheless, I was quick to stop myself from doing more. In my exhaustion, I couldn't tell when I laid there and slept peacefully for hours.   Hours later, I woke up to reality. It was airy and darker, I saw a few squirrels run passed by. I only wondered how many creatures crawled over me. Sluggishly, I picked myself off the ground and started my journey home. It was getting late and I had gone very far away.    The terrain seemed a little different from the familiar. The houses were no longer in sight. My searching eyes scrambled for the right route homeward.   The more I ambled forth the more confused I became. At each turn, I would convince myself that I was on the right track, sadly, in a short time, I realized that I wasn't. I thought of going back but the bushes had no tracks nor pathways.   As the day grew darker, I pretended not to be afraid. But the fear kept mounting in an ascending manner. I called out at the top of my voice as I moved around.   "Is anybody here!"   The echoes of my voice came back to their source.   I surveyed the scenery; there were overlapping hills and mountains. A dark waterfall buzzed a short distance away. I made my way on a grassy hill scanning further for a way. My eyes glistened at the faint sight of a hilltop house. "Thank God," I sighed in relief.   This house would certainly be a compass to lead me home. I thought as I swiftly dash towards its direction.   I made my way through the tall bushes on the hilly terrain. I was grateful that my joggers covered well, else, the cuts and insect bites on my skin would have been intense. I kept walking faster and faster, not minding my waning strength.    On one side of the hill was a clean flowing cascade, surrounded by boulders. It was a lovely sight but at this point, I was in no mood to appreciate nature. The sky grew yellowish-brown sending goosebumps over me, as it informed me of the coming twilight.   The closer I got, the more revealed was this impressive building. It had a brown roof and tall trees around it. The outdoor lights from the building shone brighter as I got nearer. This gave me the needed encouragement to pace a wider distance.   Suddenly, I heard a hissing sound. I looked around but I saw nothing. The sound was less faint and it drew closer. I wondered what the source of the hissing was. Then a sudden realization struck me as I turned to see a long green creature crawling towards me. In a twinkled of an eye, it dawned on me.   "Snake!" I screamed frantically.    Impelled by this fear, I'd pushed myself forward running twice faster than the speed of light.   "Help! Help!" I screamed while racing far past my lingering shadow.   I ran breathlessly through the bushes until I reached a hedge fence. I was happy that I finally arrived at the building. I leaned over the knee-high hedge, hoping to jump over when I caught sight of a huge pit bull. It rushed towards me like a hungry lion.   "OMG! Not again!" I groaned. Here I was, standing before the only living house and a dog is ready to devour me! What should I do? Go back or stay? I was trembling in fear.