Fighting for Love

Chapter26

Anthony’s POV

I don’t know why I am having such a hard time processing this. This is the first time since being trained and taking on some of the duties, that I question my ability to be alpha. How could I allow her to do this to me? She shouldn’t have been able to use that spell on me. Antoine questioned her motives. Why didn’t I? Did I not want to hurt her that I fell for whatever she said or did? I didn’t love Tina, so why was her feelings such an issue for me? I don’t do feelings well. I have trouble expressing them and, for that reason, I try to make sure I am not ignoring others' feelings. Antoine has always been that balance, but why didn’t I listen to him this time? Did I have feelings for Tina and that is why I didn’t listen to my brother about her? He told me she was conniving and not kind to others. She wasn’t our mate, so why did I indulge her? So many questions, so many doubts; then I let these doubts lead me to bad decisions. I have way more respect for myself than to be f*****g some random stripper in an alley. What is wrong with me?

Then there’s Desiree. From the time she stepped out of the SUV I have been intrigued. She’s beautiful, strong, caring; everything any man would want. I want to be with her, but we have to find our mate. I would love for her to be our mate. I truly care about her, but something happened last night, and I wasn’t there for her. She ended up in the hospital and her cousins yelled at me. Another set of questions and doubts. I can’t get anything right lately. Why do I feel like such a failure? I look up from my desk and see Antoine walking in.

“You could knock first” I say sarcastically.

“You knew I was coming. What’s the point of knocking?”

“Because it’s the proper thing to do, and you were raised with manners and etiquette.”

“Yeah, whatever. You're my brother, those things are not required” He comes and hugs me.

“How are you Anthony? After last night, are you processing things better?” he asks, concerned

“No. My actions last night just made things worse. I can’t get over this Tina situation. How did I let myself be manipulated by her? What kind of alpha am I if she can do that to me? I feel like a failure” I say

“You are not a failure. You are not perfect, even if you are an alpha. You will make mistakes sometimes. Dad taught us this. That’s why you make sure the people around you are strong and have your back to help and cover you when you make a mistake. And we are not defined by our mistakes but how we handle them, learn from them and correct them”, he says.

“What if she had succeeded?”

“But she didn’t. Because we have strong people around us. People who have our backs and was able to stop her. The same way, if something was happening to them, and we saw it, we would intervene for them. We are a team.”

“Desiree is not part of our team. She isn’t even a member of the pack. She’s a friend of the family who ….”

“Who stepped in when she saw something wasn’t right. Who said our team is only the pack or only the ranked members? Help can come from anywhere and in any form. We just have to be open to accepting help and you were. Desiree helped us, that’s all that matters” he said, interrupting me.

A minute later dad walks in my room. I look at Antoine

“I called in reinforcement. We need to help you through this. I don’t want another night like last night. And when I tell you my new information, you’ll understand why.”

“Anthony, you are beating yourself up for the actions of others. You are stronger than this. Everyone makes mistakes. I can’t tell you the number of mistakes I have made as an alpha, as a businessman, as a husband and father. You recognize the mistake, apologize and work to fix it. Having a strong support system is major. They are honest with you, knowledgeable and care for you. They see your mistake, tell you about it and then help you fix it. Desiree did that for you last week. Just like when Wesley and Antoine pulled you off Stan after she insulted Claudia. They were there for you, you made a mistake, they helped you, and we fixed it”. Dad says

“This mistake has me doubting my abilities to be a good alpha” I say

“And it won’t be the last time this happens. But that’s what makes you a good alpha. You are doubting your ability because you are afraid of what could have happened. I can guess you are more concerned that Tina would have ruined the pack, not so much what she would have done to you. That shows you care for your people. We can always sit back and talk about what could have happened. The point is it didn’t, and what are we going to do to ensure it never does? You will be a great alpha, you are concerned about others and the pack is your focus, but you need to allow yourself some grace. You are not perfect, but you have a strong team”. Dad replies

“Desiree is not a part of my team”

“Team is anyone who looks out for you; in the pack, from another pack, a friend, coworker, associate. Anyone who has your best interest at heart is a part of your team”, dad says with a smile.

“What if Desiree was a part of our team?” Antoine says shyly.

“She is. She is a good friend who is smart and caring. I owe her a lot. She saved my sons and my pack from a horrible woman. I thank her every day; not only for her skill but that she cared enough to help”, dad says.

“Yeah, but she can be a part of our immediate team. Like our Luna”, Antoine says.

“Only our mate will be our Luna” I say sternly.

Antoine just smiles at me. I hate when I have to figure out what he is trying to say.

“Oh s**t! For real? That’s wonderful” dad exclaims.

“What am I missing” I ask the two of them.

“Desiree is our mate. The potion is out of my system. I scented her this morning”

“Are you for real? I prayed to the moon goddess for her to be our mate. This is amazing. We have to go to her” I say excitedly, standing up ready to find her.

“Yeah, I asked the moon goddess for her too, but she is upset right now. I don’t suggest you go to her yet”, Antoine says.

“Why not? She is our mate. I know I can’t scent her yet, but I will be able to soon. Why is she upset?”

“Desiree knew we were her mates since her birthday. She has been waiting for the potion to wear off and scent her. Which means she felt what happened last night. That’s why she was in the hospital. That’s why she looked at you the way she did last night after smelling you” he said sadly.

“FFUUCCKK!!!” I say dropping back into my seat once I realized what he was saying. I f****d up. I caused her that pain. She blacked out for 2 hours because I f****d some random woman in an alley.

“I am a f*****g asshole” I say putting my head in my hands.

“What happened?” dad asks.

“Last night, Anthony was having a real hard time with his feelings around the Tina situation. Feeling hurt, angry and a bit inadequate. He said he needed some air, a release. We ended up at a strip club, and he ended up f*****g some random stripper last night”. Antoine told dad

“That’s why Desiree was in pain and ended up in the hospital”, dad stood up yelling. We both nodded our heads.

“The Doctor asked her if she had found her mate, but she insisted she didn’t. She knew and didn’t want to put you on the spot or in an unfavorable light. Even through all that pain, she had your back.”

“She understands that you didn’t know she was our mate and that you would never have hurt her if you did. But she is still processing what happened, especially after what happened with her first mate. She probably feels the mate bond has not been good for her”, Antoine says.

“I don’t know nor do I care what you need to do to fix this, Anthony, but you better f*****g fix it. That girl is precious, she would make a great mate and an amazing luna. She had half this pack liking her after a week. I have only heard and seen good things from her. She tolerated Tina when she could have destroyed her easily. FIX THIS!!!” dad says and leaves my room.

“Antoine, what do I do? I can’t lose her. I don’t even feel the mate bond with her yet and I have feeling for her and want her. How do I fix this?”

“First we are going to accept her. Then you are going to apologize. If she is willing to talk, you are going to be open and honest about what has been going and what you did. Then you will beg for forgiveness. We may need intel and reinforcements, so I linked the guys to bring the girls”

Just then, there was a knock on my door. In walked Wesley, David, Sharon and Leticia and none were very happy with me.

“Antoine, you called for us”. Wesley said

“Yes, we have an issue, and we need to formulate a plan to fix it. As the ranked members, we wanted to make you aware and ask for your help”, I said.

“In less official terms. We know Desiree is our mate. Leticia and Sharon, I know she told you already. I don’t know if Wesley and David knew before, but I have a feeling you did. Anthony needs to figure out how to fix what happened yesterday with Desiree. We don’t want to lose her” Antoine said

“Not just Anthony. You too.” Sharon said

“What did I do?” Antoine questioned.

“Yes, Anthony has some serious begging to do, but the first pang of hurt came from both of you. She told us you were her mates 2 days ago. She told us because she wouldn’t eat in the dining room, and we found her eating at the pool and crying. Because it seems as soon as Tina was gone all these other shewolves appeared and you guys have been entertaining them. You say you are looking for your mate, but you allow women to touch all over you and talk to you inappropriately. It’s like you accept their actions as long as you are not actively looking for your mate at that time. You broke up with Tina 2 years ago, but you still hung out and indulged her once you realized your mate was not in the pack. Then you knew you could still do what you wanted until you found her, even if you said you were actively searching for her. If you were truly looking, whether she was in front of you or in another pack, you would not allow the women around here to behave and address you the way they do”, Sharon said.

“If you had put up those boundaries from the beginning, things would be different. Tina would have had a harder time using magic on you. You may have told her you wanted your mate, but your actions didn’t support that. You made it easy for her to give you that potion. If she was no longer your girlfriend; why are you hanging out with her, watching movies alone and stuff? Yes, Tina’s actions are her fault, but if you guys had shut that s**t down from the time you broke up, she would not have thought she could move back in”, Leticia said. Antoine and I looked at each other stunned.

“We didn’t realize” Antoine said. They looked at us as if we were stupid and I guess we were

“You do realize that if Desiree accepts the bond she will have to fight against all the shewolves who feel she took their spot.”

“But everyone knows we will only be with our mate” I say

“Again, your actions don’t correlate with your words. And certain types of females will exploit that” Leticia says. “Men are so gullible” she says to Sharon, shaking her head

“Okay, we both f****d up in many ways. Help us fix it, please” Antoine says.