Fighting for Love

Chapter28

Desiree’s POV

I am relaxing, just listening to music and coloring. This is probably the calmest I have been in the last 72 hours. After about an hour, there is a knock on my door. Great, here we go. I open the door to Anthony and Antoine.

“Evening guys, what can I do for you” I say in a bored tone.

“We were hoping you were available to talk Desiree” Anthony says.

“Come in. Have a seat”, I say moving and opening the door wider for them to enter.

“Okay, I have something to say before we get started. The only way we are having this conversation is if you are 100% honest with me. This is a no-holds-barred conversation, no filters, we are not worried about hurting feelings or s**t like that. Do you understand?”

They look at each other, and you can sense their hesitance.

“We don’t want to upset you”, Anthony says.

“Well it’s too f*****g late for that, isn’t it Anthony? I have either been angry or hurt for the last couple of days and all by my so-called mates. f*****g Alpha’s are a trip. Your job is to take care of the pack and then the one person you are supposed to cherish, you treat like s**t” I say holding back tears.

“Listen, I have a lot I need to say to you two. I am going to be really blunt, and I advise you to let it all out also. I am not china, I won’t break. But if you can’t come correct, and we don’t get all the bullshit addressed, this will never work, and this conversation is a waste of time.”

There are a couple of minutes of silence while we each prepare ourselves for the talk no one wants to have, but we all know we must have.

“You guys came here to talk, so talk”

“I first want to apologize about last night. I would never intentionally hurt you”, Anthony says.

“Sorry for what? Be specific”

“You know, the pain and you being in the hospital,” he says

“So are you sorry because your actions put me in the hospital or the fact that you f****d someone?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” he whines.

“So, you were okay f*****g this woman? If I did not feel the betrayal pain, you would not regret your actions, then?”

“Desiree, that’s not fair. He didn’t know you were his mate. You didn’t tell us”, Antoine says.

“No, I did not get a chance to tell you. Because after my shift, Celestia and I were drained and went to bed. We also weren’t sure if we should wait for you to be able to recognize us with the magic still affecting you. But when I woke up after my shift, I went to see you. I found random females draped all over you. So, no, I didn’t tell you. You know what, for men who say they are looking for their mate, you sure as hell don’t act like it”

“We know, and we now see how we were wrong”. Antoine says

“Really? So, tell me, how were you wrong?”

“Our actions did not support our words. We told everyone we were looking for our mate, for you, but was still hanging around with other females and entertaining others. If we were not serious about finding our mate, then the women in the pack didn’t take our comments seriously either”, Antoine said.

“That b***h gave you a potion. She blocked our connection and until she confessed, you still wanted her. If you were so hell-bent on being with your mate, why the f**k are you having movie dates and special cocktails with Tina” I yelled.

“We knew our mate wasn’t in the pack, so I didn’t see any reason why we couldn’t still be friends and hang out”, Anthony said.

“And f**k! Let me ask, how did you know your mate wasn’t in the pack? Maybe she just hadn’t turned 18 yet, and she would have seen how you were acting. But it should not have mattered. So, I can go have private movie dates with an unmated male friend?” He growled MINE and started towards me

“No! Don’t touch me! You are upset by my comment. How about when I walked into that dining room and your hand is massaging the leg of some redhead with a tiny skirt on Anthony or there’s some blond whispering in your ear, Antoine. How do you think I felt? What does your pack think of you? Is that the example you show as a leader to this pack” I cry

“Desiree, please don’t cry”, Antonine pleads

“I am hurt and angry. When that happens, I cry. Deal with it! We said we were keeping it 100. Here it is.”

“If I had known you were my mate and in the dining room, I never would have touched that girl”, Anthony says.

“So, I can expect your respect and honor to the bond only when I am around? If I am not here, or you go to another pack and some slut rubs up on you, it’s fair game because we are not in front of each other?”

“No, that’s not what I am saying. I would never do that, now that I know we have our mate”, Anthony says

“But you knew you had a mate out there, and you said you were actively looking for her, but you touched those girls and f****d someone else. You did just what you said you wouldn’t. If you are not ready for a mate and all that comes with that commitment, then you need to be honest and say that. How can I trust you in this relationship when you act like you don’t even want to be in a relationship?” I say

“We want this. We want you.” Antoine says

“Okay, so what does this relationship look like to you? Will I have your respect? Will you honor the bond?” Yes, they both say

“Why?” I question

“Are you doing this because you want to be with me and are ready to be everything to each other? Or are you not going to go against the bond because it will cause me pain?”

“You each need to think about what it is you want. Because I will not be disrespected, especially by my mates! If we decide to move forward and accept the bond, and you disrespect me, allow those women to disrespect me or go against the bond. I promise you, my level of anger will be something you will not be able to handle, and I will kick your f*****g ass” I sit down in the chair, soft crying and feeling defeated

“I think we each need to address this individually” Antoine says

“Can I come close to you?” he says questionably.

I shake yes, and he kneels by the chair with his hand on my knee.

“You are right. My behavior was a disrespect to the mate bond. I acted like I did prior to deciding to find my mate and I allowed women to think they probably had a chance with me. So, I first want to apologize to my mate. For all you have seen and all I have done, that makes you question my desire for my mate. I also want to apologize to you as my mate, for not taking your feelings into consideration during all of this. It’s true I was unable to feel the bond, but my behavior towards those other women was not appropriate as an alpha of this pack. From the moment I saw you get out of that SUV, I was enamored by you. I know we still have stuff to address, and I have to prove myself to you, but there is no other place I want to be than with you. I will thank the moon goddess every day for making you my mate. I am ready to accept this bond and the commitment that comes with it.” Antoine said.

“I am not as eloquent as Antoine is. Can I come close?” I nod my head. Yes.

“I did not behave appropriately as a mate or an alpha, and I am sorry. I wish I had a reason or excuse for my actions, but I don’t, and to be honest it would not matter, I was wrong. My actions were disgraceful and the fact that it caused you pain just made the situation worse. I know I can’t feel the bond yet, but from the moment I met you I have been attracted to you. I would like the chance to show you how committed I am to our bond. I accept you as my mate. Do you accept us?”

“First, I have a question. Have you been having s*x with women in your pack over the last 2 years?”

“Yes, but not as often as we have before” they say with their heads down.

“You are aware that this is going to be an issue, and they will not just accept me as your mate and Luna?”

“They all knew they were never going to be our Luna because they are not our mates. But we are aware there may be some issues going forward, and we will work together on addressing them”, Anthony says

“I would like to tell you some things about my past and possible future before you accept the bond. I want everything out on the table” I say

We get comfortable and talk about a few things. I tell him about Bradley and Paul. There were lots of growls and hugging during those stories. They knew about the incident with Alpha Teddy. I told them about my mom, my sperm donor, my family in SC, my college plans and the information I found about being moon kissed and a white wolf. I explained that being with me may bring some problems, and they need to know what they are getting into. We talked about them still having s*x with the females in the pack and how we all will have to address it. They told me about their plans for the pack and what type of alphas they want to be. We talked for hours. At some point, we went to the kitchen for snacks and came back to finish the conversation.

“Sweetie, you are getting tired. I love talking with you, but you need rest, and we all have training in the morning”, Antoine says

“I want us to take a week to think about all we spoke of today. We can make a more conscious effort to spend time together, may be have a date or two. Then we get together next week and decide what we want to do. Because we want to say we are all in, there’s no going back. Okay?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I know what I want, but I understand why you want this. So, I agree; one week to prove that you should be with me. I can do that” Antoine says, standing up

“I also agree. Thank you for the chance to show you I can be the mate you deserve”, Anthony says, standing up

I get up and walk them to the door. We all have an early morning and a lot to think about.

“Good night Desiree” they say in unison.

“Good night Antoine” I say standing on my tippy-toes and placing a simple kiss on his lips. He smiles, licks his lips and leans in for another kiss. I then turn to Anthony

“Goodnight Anthony”, he looks at me unsure until I pull him to me my the front of his shirt and give him a nice long kiss

“I will see you in the morning at breakfast” I say, going into my room and closing the door.