I don't know how long I stay in the car, I only know that I have cried until my eyes have dried and when only a rumbling headache remains, I drive home with one goal in mind.
I go into my room and pull the keys to his apartment from my nightstand drawer.
That apartment he bought so he could f**k me whenever he wanted.
When I get back in the car, it doesn't take long to get to the building where he lives.
These keys are the only connection I have to him and I don't want anything from him anymore.
As I ride the elevator up to his floor, I wonder if maybe he will be there.
I shake my head at my absurd idea.
He must be in the pub, next to her, celebrating her return and surely resuming their relationship.
I'll just leave the keys and go.
Then it will be like starting over, without a J
