Forgotten Memories

Chapter 4

One week na ang nakalipas at stress na stress na 'ko. Masyadong maraming pinapagawa sa 'min. Homeworks, projects, and kinds of stuff. Inom na inom na 'ko in short.

"Angela! The Gutz tayo after school! Wala ng alcohol na dumadaloy sa katawan ko nanghihina na 'ko!" I joked.

Angela didn't answer back because she's too busy finishing her stuff. May 3 days pa naman bago ang deadline. Why is she cramming? Lagi niya na lang ako dinidismiss sa galaan. Nakakatampo. Parang dati lang siya pa taga timpla ng iinumin namin. Real quick.

"Angela!"

"f**k off, Tatiana! Not now."

Did she just rolled her eyes on me? Did she? Bihira lang 'to magmaldita pero solid. Mukhang stress na stress nga yata talaga siya ngayon kaya ganiyan.

"Pms ka ghorl? We still have 3 days before the deadline, oh. Heads up, girl. Lunod na lunod ka na diyan! Ngayon lang naman, e." inom na inom na 'ko. 1 week na simula nung huling inom ko. Di pa 'ko nalasing that time. Hinang-hina na 'ko. I need alcohol and boys. Charot. Grade 10 palang pala 'ko.

"I don't want to cram myself in the next 3 days, Tatiana. Please cooperate. Kung gusto mo maglasing then go. I'll pass muna this time."

Seryosong-seryoso si Angela kaya naman alam kong hindi ko na siya mapipilit pa. Besides, Tatiana tawag sa 'kin hindi Tati. So, seryoso nga.

"Maybe next time then. Good luck."

Nagpunta ako sa rooftop at pinicturan ang langit. Pink skies. I love staring at the sky. It feels like it has so much to say. Parang ang daming tinatago and at the same time it clears my mind. If you're happy, just look at the sky. If you're sad, just look at the sky. If you're lost, just look at the sky. That type of fulfillment. Para bang sa mga ulap ko natatagpuan ang sarili ko. Something like that. Ewan basta kung ayaw mo sa langit e 'di 'wag. 'Di ko naman pinipilit.

"You love the view?" I heard a deep and at the same time a soft voice coming from the entrance of this rooftop. And for Pete's sake. Only one person owns that voice. At ngayon pa lang din ay ramdam ko na ang inis ko. Hahahahahahahahahaha grabe. Grabe talaga. Walang kupas sa paninira ng araw ko. Ayos.

Gusto ko pa naman sana siyang sagutin ng 'you're my best view' kaso hindi ko nga pala siya type.

"f**k off, Chase. I'm not cutting classes."

Irita pa rin ako sa kaniya. I can still remember na he made me wait for like 3 hours in that stupid library last week. Parang nananadya siya. Nasayang ang tatlong oras ng buhay ko kakahintay sa wala, tss. Nakulong pa kami run! Nakakairita!

"Chill, Ysabelle. I have your schedule hahaha. You still have 1 hour before your history class. Right? What are you doing here?" how did he got my sched? Oh, school's pet nga pala, lol. Isang lambing niya lang dun kay Torrenza baka isuko na agad ang lahat hays. Perks.

"Narnia."

"Narnia what?"

"Narnia business." sana ma-gets niya. Sana lang may sense of humor siya.

"I'm just asking because this rooftop is my spot." taray na-gets. Paki ko. Mahirap ba intindihin 'yon? 'Di naman ah. Pero wait.

Doon na ako napalingon sa sinabi niyang 'yon. Anong kaniya 'to? Anong kaniya ha? Lahat nalang kaniya? Lahat bawal? Lahat hawak niya? Lahat kailangan may permiso niya? Umay. Bigti nalang siya 'ina niya. Baka run samahan ko pa siya. Baka nga ako pa magtali para sa kaniya. Tss.

"This spot is mine. Go find your own spot. And besides, I don't see any 'Chase Maiko Razon's property' written in here so this rooftop is absolutely not yours. f**k off, Razon. 'Wag ako asarin mo."

"But I do have a power in this school Ms. Vergara. Isang salita ko lang, pwede ka na ngang mapaalis dito. Isang paninira ko lang sa 'yo, katapusan mo na. Pero 'yun ay kung gugustuhin ko. Kaya kung ako sa 'yo? Magpapakabait-bait na 'ko. Sa ngayon hindi pa naman kita gusto umalis so you're safe pa. Anyways, have a nice day, Ysabelle. See yah when I see yah!" see yAh mo mukha mo. Baduy.

He smirked and left me hanging. But did he just called me Ysabelle? Did he just threaten me? Daig niya pa ina ko ah? Ang kapal. Siya talaga papatay sa 'kin sa inis, e. Siya talaga. Sure na.

Pinagsisipa at pinagtatalunan ko ang semento nitong rooftop na 'to sa sobrang inis ko sa lalaki na 'yon. Kung pwede lang hilingin na sana gumuho na ang buong building na 'to ay ginawa ko na. I can't stand being with that guy. Hambog, conyo naman. Wala pa sigurong isang oras baka nagpapatayan na kaming dalawa. Yabang ampota, kainis.

I slammed the door out of the rooftop in frustration. May magulang ba 'yon? 'Bat ganoon ugali non? Parang walang Mama amp. Nakakainis parang timang!

Shit!

"Sorry, Miss! Hindi ko sinasadya!" muntikan na 'kong mapaupo nang may biglang nakabangga sa 'kin. Nagmamadali siya paakyat ng rooftop. Ay bakit? Spot rin niya? Spot niya? Baka maki-agaw pa siya, ah?

"Bulag ka ba o tanga? O parehas?" inis kong pinagpag ang uniform ko dahil nadikit ako sa mga alikabok. "Hindi naman tatakbo 'yung rooftop, kung makatakbo ka akala mo hohome run ka. Tabi! Tsk."

Tinulak ko siya para man lang makabawi ako. Ang daming peste sa school na 'to. Pati science teacher peste. Hindi naman sa pagiging ano pero parang ganun na nga. Ang lalakas mangbadtrip ng mga tao rito.

"Sorry Miss!" he shouted.

This school really sucks, big time.

***

"Napaka-iksi naman ng suot mo, 'te! Popokpok ka ba roon, ha? Pa-pass lang ako ngayon baka naman kung ano na naman gawin mo sa Gutz! Nako talaga sinasabi ko sa 'yo, Tatiana Ysabelle! Nako! Hindi pa lipas sa 'kin 'yung napaaway ka sa Gutz. Baka dagdagan mo na naman. Maawa ka naman sa 'min ni Tita at Tito, oh. Baka lang naman 'di ba?" Wow.

Stress na stress na sabi ni Angela nang makita ang suot ko. She's just overreacting. I'm just wearing a leather skirt and a black bralette top. Meron naman akong baon na cropped leather jacket. And of course, my 4 inches killer heels to slay the night of course. Pwede bang 'wag kong artehan?

"Calm down, girl. Hindi pa 'ko mamamatay. Kumalma ka. E, kung sumama ka na kasi 'di ba? Subsob na subsob ka na sa libro, girl. Hang out hang out din, 'uy! 'Di ka ba nauuhaw?"

pangangatwiran ko kahit dati halos gabi-gabi akong nasa Gutz, lol. Pwede kami sa Gutz kahit under age pa lang kami dahil kaibigan naman namin ang may ari so no worries. Just perks.

"Tsk. 'Pag uhaw, magtubig, hindi alak! Palusot mo singaw. Whatever, Tatiana girl. Sige na! Tsupi! Just call me when you need help kung napaano ka na. Baka maprisinto ka, e. Ipapasundo kita. And please, don't get laid tonight! Hindi pa ngayon, pakiusap!"

I chuckled. "Of course! No one's getting laid tonight! Just making out, maybe? Charot. I don't know. It depends on the situation." I winked kahit na hindi ko naman gawain ang ganoon. I fixed myself once again and prepared my things. "Bye na, aalis na 'kooo! Lock the door! Call me rin if you need anything. Bye hoe!"

She just rolled her eyes kaya naman lumabas na ako ng bahay. I booked a grab car dahil tinatamad akong mag-drive. Besides, I know that I'm getting drunk tonight. As in drunk, drunk.

As I stepped out of the car, I already sensed from here that tonight's going to be a good party. I gladly walked towards the entrance of the bar with my head held high, I eyed around the place to see if someone I knew is there but of course wala. It's a private bar. Ang mahal nga rito. Buti na lang talaga I have my own sources, lol.

Pumunta agad ako sa usual spot ko at nag-picture. I posted it on my i********: just because of wala lang. Masama? Spoiling my followers, duh? Para yung mga napapanis at madaming nasasabi sa 'kin dahil bar daw ako nang bar mas lalong tumahol. Oh, ayan sige. New pic mga para sa kanila. Paki-heart na lang nila. Plug alert pa kung gusto nila. Flex niyo na rin, hindi na kayo lugi diyan.

I ordered my usual tequila and of course JD. I'm thirsty as hell. Hindi kaya ng tubig na sinasabi ni Angela 'to. I definitely need some hardcore s**t inside of me to regain my f*****g strength. Blame that epal na Chase Maiko! Gosh! Oh, how I wish na bumagsak sana siya sa acads and all this school year. I really wish.

As soon as my order arrived, I immediately drink it like it's my very first time. It's one week without alcohol and I'm already feeling dry! Samahan mo pa ng stress sa school at pang-iinis ni Chase, wala na! Talo na. Uwian na.

Inom lang ako nang inom para naman malasing ako at makasabay sa nagsasayawang crowd. Sayang alak kung hindi ako tatamaan. Better make it worth it, right?

Almost 2 hours na akong nandito at naka ilang round na rin ako ng inom. I'm wasted na. I can feel my dizziness killing me softly. Damn, I have classes pa pala tomorrow! s**t.

I stood up and tried my best to walk normally without doing anything stupid, unlike last time that I vomited on the hell dance floor. Freaking middle of the dance floor. f*****g mid.

I'm still thinking about how to overcome this dizziness like a friggin' tornado in my head that's why I decided to just dance this drunkness away. I swayed my hips and banged my head according to the vibe of the crowd and right now, it's in Chris Brown's vibe.

"Baby girl you got it, girl, you got it, girl!!!"

"You got it, girl, you got ittt!!!"

Sinasabayan pa ng crowd ang malakas na tugtog kaya naman sobrang hype na at napapatalon talon na ako. I sang with them in the chorus as I swayed my body. And there's a guy behind me? There's a guy behind me, yeah. My vision is kinda blurry na kaya 'di ko agad napansin. But I can still see him from the glass wall in front of us. He's looking good naman so why not 'di ba? At least hindi mukhang dugyot. So keri na! Laban na 'yan. Hindi naman ako mabubuntis sa kakagiling ko rito.

I faced him and danced with him. Though, I can feel his manhood already touching my belly. He has an epic boner already. Lol. Sumasayaw pa lang ako nito, ah. Paano pa kaya kapag tinodo ko na 'yung landi ko? I acted like I am not feeling anything because I am currently enjoying the view of him dancing in front of me like he's freaking hungry.

Lol, boys.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"What?" he signed language at di ko rin alam kung 'bat ko naintindihan 'yon. "Oh! Tatiana! My name's Tatiana! How 'bout y-- Chase?! Chase! Oh my, God! What did you do!?"

I panicked. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin 'ko dahil nahihilo pa rin ako. I am in the middle of this landian setting and then this stupid guy named Chase punched this guy in front of me without any reason. Bigla na lang nga siyang sumulpot, e. Hanggang Gutz ba naman gagawa siya ng eksena? Gosh! Nakakahiya dahil pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga tao. Why is he being like this?

"What did you do Chase!? What the f**k is wrong with you! Nag-iisip ka ba!?" I am gasping for air as I helped this guy stand up 'cause he's also as drunk as f**k. 'Bat ba mga lasing 'to! Aish.

"This guy is grinding his f*****g d!ck into your body and you're just letting him? What kind of woman are you?" Oh. What kind of woman am I nga ba? Lame.

I could see the anger in his eyes as he yelled at me. What the f**k is his problem? Ano naman sa kaniya kung ganito ginagawa ko?

"And who are you to meddle with my party life? You are being an asshole! Hindi naman kita pinapakialamanan kapag outside the school, ah? What the hell is wrong with you! You're being a problematic shit."

I faced the guy he just punched just 3 minutes ago and oh well, his nose is freakin' bleeding. Hilo na yata 'tong lalaki na 'to. K.O na.

Kinuha ko ang panyo ko sa purse ko at dinampi iyon sa nagdudugo niyang ilong. Gosh, hindi ako nurse pero, bakit ko ba ginagawa 'to! Tss. Ako ba sumuntok? Ako ba?

"It's fine Tatiana, I can handle this." kinuha niya ang panyo at siya na ang gumawa nun sa sarili niya. Galit yata.

"Sorry, I swear to God I am not related to this oh-so-stupid guy. I'm really sorry." I apologized for the sake of my social life. This Chase!

"It's fine Tati---"

He was about to say something when Chase's strong arms dragged me out of the bar. Dude? Seriously!?

"Ano ba!? Let me go!"

He is violently dragging me while I am currently on my heels. Great. Just great. I really love his proper way of thinking.

"You asshole let me go! I am wearing heels!"

I used my remaining strength to push him away and it worked. Thank God!

"What is wrong with me? No! What is wrong with you, Ysabelle! Why are you letting that guy grind his f*****g d!ck into your body? Are you out of your damned mind?" what the hell is wrong with him? Ano bang akala niya sa kaharap niya? Santa? Besides, hindi dapat niya ako pinapakialaman!

"E, ano naman sa 'yo!? Buhay ko 'to! Sino ka ba? Hindi mo pa ako kilala ganito na 'ko! Besides, why do you care? Sa school nga halos magpatayan na tayo. Now what? Bigla bigla kang susugod dito at susuntukin ang lalaking kasayaw ko? You're unbelievable! Wala kang pakialam sa mga ginagawa ko at gagawin ko dahil sino ka ba 'di ba?"

I know it's a little bit harsh but I am raging mad! Isama mo pa ang kalasingan ko. Wala. Labas talaga lahat. Walang sino sino rito. Siya naman nagsimula, e. God knows how much I hate being controlled.

"I do care, Ysabelle. I really do. Only if you knew that I sincerely care Ysabelle." he avoided my gaze and cleared his throat. "Let's go. Ihahatid na kita. It's 3 in the am and we still have classes tomorrow."

Hindi na ako pumalag pa nang marahan niya akong hilahin papasok sa kotse niya. Wala na rin akong lakas para mag-inarte pa. Naalala kong hindi rin pala ako nagdala ng kotse dahil alam kong ganito ako kalasing na uuwi sa amin kaya hindi na ako nag-abala pa.

Walang traffic dahil madaling araw na. All I can see is a clear road ahead and building lights. Quite peaceful and satisfying for me.

We never talked about what happened kanina sa bar. I don't want to ruin the atmosphere. So maybe later at school, I'll ask him again why the f**k did he did that.

I turned my gaze to the radio that is now playing Let Her Go by Passenger.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

My heart is beating so fast that I can't even explain why. This song reminds me of what happened earlier. Those words came out of his mouth and I don't even think that he's dunk.

Why the f**k did he say that? Does he care? But why? Maybe it's just that I'm drunk so I'm hearing things? Maybe I'm just so drunk so I'm imagining things? I don't know anything until I fall asleep.

I fall asleep knowing that beside me is a man who is driving me home and cares for me. I felt safe. Hindi ko alam pero it feels like it is safe to just breathe when he is here beside me.