In Dreams: Bleed Out

You Said You Would Never Hurt Me

Ok, let's be real about this for a moment.

Walking across a floor covered with broken glass and wood while barefoot is not the smartest thing to do.  And despite the fact that I was a vampire and had a quick healing time, or maybe because of the fact that I was a vampire with a quick healing time, some of the pieces kind of got healed up in the soles of my feet.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut them out."  Said Alexandre doubtfully, examining my foot carefully.

"You what?  No, I don't think so.  They don't even hurt, and my body will expel them naturally over time right?  So just leave it alone.  It'll be fine."  I waved him off, yanking my feet back.

"They don't hurt right now, but I guarantee when you put your weight on them for any length of time, you're going to feel that glass.  Some of those pieces look quite large.  And I don't think that glass works like that, I think, especially with our healing ability, it would just keep being driven further and further in.  You can still get a raging infection you know.  Better to deal with it now."  Alexandre insisted.  "Trust me, after a couple of decades, you get used to this."

"I'll be fine...see?"  I said, attempting to stand up.  I tried to control my expression when my body reacted like I was stepping on glass all over again.

"Carys, be reasonable."  Alexandre pushed me gently back down on the bed and disappeared from the room.  I chewed nervously on my nail.  Luckily, they were tougher now, or my teeth would have sliced right through.  Alexandre returned with two bowls of water then disappeared again.

"What?"  I stammered nervously.  Even though I couldn't see into them I could tell one had soap or disinfectant of some kind in it.  I glared at the door.  Alexandre returned with an old canvass bag and paused in the doorway, startled for a moment.  He laughed.

"That look would be truly terrifying-if I knew you could walk."  He assured me, still laughing.

"You may want to reconsider fixing my feet."  I growled.

"Should I go get a towel to throw over your head like I would a furious cat?"  Alexandre teased.  I snarled at him, and he approached the bed cautiously, shaking his head.

"And to think, a little glass is all it took to bring out your vampiric side.  I should have broken something a long time ago."  His voice was light, but his expression was pained as he unrolled what looked like an older doctor's medical kit.  Although the tools made me wince, I reached for his hands and stilled them for a moment, making him look at me.

"You temper scare me, yes, but knowing it wasn't aimed at me helped.  Maybe next time, just talk to me about it and we can both break things."  I suggested softly.  Alexandre offered a wan smile and selected a small scalpel from his set.  I backed off quickly and sighed in resignation.  Alexandre poured disinfectant on the blade then lifted my left foot and swabbed at it with an iodine swab.

"Are you ready?"  He asked.  I bared my teeth but nodded, squeezing my eyes shut.  Before I could finish the nod, he made the first cut.  I sucked in a breath, but tired to hold still as well I could, though I couldn't help an involuntary twitch.  I heard a plink and saw the first sliver of bloody glass land in a little metal tray Alexandre had set by the medical instruments.  Alexandre sliced again without warning and this time I jerked hard out of reflex.  The cut was deep, and I could feel the warmth as a trail of blood dripped down my leg.  He cursed lightly, reaching for another tool that he quickly dipped in disinfectant, then gripping my heel in a vice grip, he went digging in my foot and I felt myself snap at him, teeth bared.  He raised an eyebrow at me and I immediately felt sheepish.  Blushing, I looked down.

"It hurts."  I growled.

"I noticed."  He replied.  There was the plunk of another piece of glass landing in the metal tray.

He pulled about eight pieces of glass and wood from my feet and I only tried to kill him a few times.  The vampiric instinct to fight back was hard to wrestle down.  I was afraid for a moment he might use the sire bond on me to get me to behave, but he never did.  After he finished, he rinsed and stored the medical instruments and brought the two bowls over the the bedside.  Motioning for me to turn around and face him, I dangled my legs off the edge of the bed, reaching for the water, but Alexandre shook his head.

"This is my fault.  Let me take care of you."  He said, so I dropped my hand to the bed.  He crouched in front of me, lifting a washcloth from the soapy water, he squeezed it out and gently washed the blood from my feet and legs.  The wounds had almost completely healed, but nonetheless, he was gentle and attentive, like I was a porcelain doll that might break at any time.  The thought occurred to me that this is what it must have been like when he bathed me the night he first saved me, and I blushed crimson in embarrassment.  Alexandre must have felt my muscles tense because he looked up at me and was alarmed by my expression.

"Carys, what's wrong?"  He asked  "Are you hurt?"

"Only my pride."  I choked out.  Alexandre looked confused and I would have laughed if I could have done so without crying, and if I currently didn't feel like dying from humiliation at the moment.  I shook my head at him and he rinsed the soap from my legs and feet in silence before standing with the pink water in hand.

"Thank you Alexandre."  I said before he left.

"You have nothing to thank me for.  So far, I have managed to do nothing but harm and frighten you."  He left silently and quickly before I could reply.  I lay back on the bed and realized the sheets were going to need a change, and I was just too drained to do it.  I probably ought to change the bloodied pajama bottoms too.  Hell, the sweater was huge, maybe I'd just take those bottoms off and forget it.  I waited a few more minutes to see if I had the energy to go get new pants.  Nope.  I lazily kicked off the pair I was wearing and pulled the sweater down passed my waist.  There.  Good enough.  I rolled over and something jingled.  Alexandre's medical kit!  He'd left it, and judging by how long he'd been gone, I didn't think he was coming back.

I got up and picked up the medical kit.  Following the flowery parchment smell, I went into the restaurant-sized kitchen, which I'd rarely visited, for obvious reasons, then into the grand foyer, and down the hall where I had always assumed Alexandre's study and bedroom were located.  I hesitated.  I had always tried to give him his space before, and hadn't intruded on what I deemed "his" part of the house.  But, he did leave his kit behind, and he'd been in such a mood...  My bare feet padded quietly on the cold marble floor.  Yes, I know, I obviously learn my lessons very well.  Alexandre's scent was getting stronger, but so was the scent of, well, old books.  Weird.  I paused outside of a doorway to what I assumed was his bedroom.  The door was halfway open, but I wasn't sure if he was... ahem ... prepared for visitors.

"Carys?"  Alexandre's voice called softly.

"May I come in?"  I requested and heard him murmur a yes.  I walked in to see him seated on the edge of a canopied bed decorated in red, wearing an old fashioned dressing shirt and bottoms set.  The contrast between his room and mine was striking.  Where mine was bright and comfortable, his was all dark woods and reds.  I snapped my attention back to Alexandre.  He had his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands.  The pose was strikingly similar to how I found him in the ballroom.

"I found...  I mean... You left your medical kit and I just wanted to return it."  I told him softly.

"Oh, just lay it on the desk there."  He said waving a hand, not looking at me.  I did as he asked, then hesitated again.

"Was there something else?"  He asked emotionlessly.  I didn't answer, but padded over and crouched in front of him.

"I feel suddenly I need to remind you again that I would be dead.  DEAD.  without you."  I told him.  His face was hidden from me, and I was tempted to pull his hands from his face, but I resisted.  I had said what I needed to.  I stood up to leave and Alexandre caught my hand as I turned.  I looked back and he pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my sweater.

Echoing my words he asked me "Would you stay?  I don't think I can be alone with my thoughts right now."  And so I sat down on the bed beside him.

At some point he realized I had no pants or shoes, so he wrapped a blanket around me, concerned about me getting cold.  We talked about favorite authors when I noticed one whole wall of his room was devoted to books.  Suddenly the old book smell made sense and I laughed for a second or two over it, much to Alexandre's confusion.  When I started yawning, Alexandre cradled me against his chest and I found myself drifting off.

"I don't want to fall asleep on you, you said you didn't want to be alone!"  I complained.

"I'm not alone Carys.  Even if you sleep, having you here where I can see you, touch you, surrounded by your scent, it's a great comfort to me.  I knew my life would change when I saved you Carys, I just didn't know you'd have this big of an impact on me.  That all of this time the thing I was avoiding might well have been the thing I was missing..."  Alexandre's words jumbled and faded into the background as I fell asleep.  There was that possessive phrasing again that made me fearful and happy, confusing me to no end.  I wasn't entirely sure it wasn't part of my dreams.  When I woke up, I had the quilt tightly wrapped around me, and Alexandre's arms wrapped around the quilt.  It was peaceful and warm and once again I noticed I had no nightmares, so I snuggled back down in the blanket and took advantage of the warmth to go back to sleep.