My Untamed Princess

Chapter 35: False Hope

"W-what did you say? You… you think I’m… beautiful?" kandautal na bulong ni Cassie.

The whole place was silent and calm. Subalit nabibingi siya sa lakas ng t***k ng kanyang puso. Will was just standing there, looking at her in silence.

She's always the troublemaker. The defiant.  She does things in unconventional ways. Her choices, unpopular. Well, most of it. Therefore the world sees her as the girl who never makes the right choices. The girl whose beauty doesn’t fit her corroded personality.

She's the girl all men wants to f*ck but never to love. She seeks but she can never find that one thing she had ever wanted her entire life—love.

But Will thinks she’s beautiful. She's sane and her ears work perfectly. She knew what she heard. But sometimes, when you are used to hearing the bad, good things can be too unreal, that’s why she asked. She needed to be sure.

If Will thought she’s beautiful, does that mean, she finally made it in his standards? She's finally qualified for him to love?

Will cleared his throat."Yes, you are. Imposibleng hindi mo alam. What I mean is-- "

"Seniorito?" pukaw ng isang tinig sa kanilang likuran.

 Agad silang napalingon na dalawa. Bumungad sa kanila ang isang matandang lalaki na nakasuot ng lumang kamiseta at pantalon. Ang sombrerong suot nito ay naniningkad sa dilaw at bahagyang tinatakpan ang mukha nitong bakas na rin ang katandaan.

"Mg Gener!" Will exclaimed. "Kumusta po kayo?" dugtong pa nito na mabilis na nilapitan ang matanda.

"Naku, Seniorito!" alanganing umpisa ng matanda, habang inaalis ang suot nitong sombrero. "Bakit naman po hindi kayo nagsabi na uuwi kayo? At saka bakit dito kayo sa kubo dumiretso? Nakakahiya. Ilang araw na rin na hindi ako nakapaglinis. Siguradong maalikabok sa loob, ilang araw na rin kasi akong hindi nagagawi rito dahil abala ang mga tauhan sa palaisdaan."

"Ayos lang po 'yon, Mg Gener. Naiintindihan ko po. Salamat po pala sa pag-aasikaso sa kubo kahit matagal na akong hindi nakauwi. Kumpleto pa rin sa mga gamit," sagot ni Will, bahagya pang itinaas ang hawak na mug. "Siya nga po pala, may kasama ako."  Bumaling ito sa kanya, pati na rin ang matandang lalaki. "Si Cassie po, anak po siya ng bagong may-ari nitong farm."

Her jaw dropped. "W-what?"

She knew her Dad too well. He's not interested in farming per se. The man hadn't even left the city for years! Nabubulok na nga ang resthouse nila sa Pagudpud e dahil halos hindi na nila iyon mabisita. Why would her Dad buy a farm?

Sumeryoso ang mukha ni Mg Gener. After a while, napilitan itong ngumiti. “I-Ikinagagalak ko po kayong makilala, seniorita," anito bago marahang tumango.

She bit the insides of her cheeks. She can feel the hesistation on the old man's voice to call her seniorita. She can feel the old man’s disapproval of her presence there.

"M-magandang araw po, Mg Gener," alanganing bati niya sa matanda.

Bahagya lang itong tumango bago muling bumaling kay Will. “Seniorito, mabuti pa po, tayo na sa mansiyon. Siguradong matutuwa sina Choleng at Diding kapag nalaman nilang nandito kayo. Aba'y kalahating dekada na mula nang huli ninyo kaming bisitahin dito sa San Quintin. Halina po kayo," aya ng matanda. The old man threw a glance at her bago ito sumakay sa bisikleta nito.

Tahimik silang sumunod ni Will.

Nang nasa sasakyan na sila, napansin niyang biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin. Gone was the happy Will she had been with for two days and so was her hope.  She can feel the unspoken tension between them. Like she made a mistake or something of same proportion she wasn't aware of.

"Totoo ba ang sinabi mo? I mean, I know my Dad, he's not interested in rural living," aniya, maya-maya.

Will’s jaw tightened. "My Dad sold this farm to your Dad."

Her brows furrowed. "What? Why?"

Humigpit ang kapit nito sa manibela. "I don't know, you tell me?"

The irritation in his voice can't be missed. She can sense that an impending verbal battle is about to take place and for the life of her she doesn't even understand why!

"Will I ask if I knew?" balik tanong niya, pigil na pigil na rin ang iritasyon.

"Are you sure? Because the last time I checked, our fathers were friends. At ginamit kayong mag-ama ng tatay ko para makalapit sa akin 2 years ago. You even offered yourself to me as bait, don't you remember?"

She gaped at him. Confusion drowned her. Ano'ng sinasabi nito? Wala siyang maintindihan dahil napakabilis magbago ng mood nito. He had gone from the sweet guy to an overbearing oaf in seconds! She must've pushed a wrong button somewhere.

She heaved a deep sigh. "Why are we going back to that, Will? You’re confusing me again.”

Will didn’t bother answering. He just drove silently while cussing under his breath from time to time.

He is angry again. Pinili na lang niya ang manahimik. She knew having a debate with him will just be a completely waste of time.

Idineretso niya ang pagkakaupo sa passenger's seat at ipinagala ang tingin sa paligid.  Malawak ang lupaing binabaybay nila. Sa magkabilang bahagi ng sementadong daan ay pulos palayan na halos hindi tanaw ang bawat hangganan. It took them a couple of minutes before they reached their destination.

Tumigil sila sa tapat ng isang dalawang palapag na bahay na yari sa semento at kahoy. Malawak ang lawn at may sariling sunflower garden na napapalibutan ng carpet grass. There’s even a mini-waterfalls beside the white gazebo. Hindi niya tuloy napigilan ang mangiti. It was a pretty sight.

Nang makababa sila ng sasakyan, agad silang sinalubong ng dalawang babae. One was an older woman. Tingin niya ay nasa mid-60's na ito. Gaya ng Yaya Bining niya. Kasunod naman nito ang isa pang babae na slim, may maamong mukha at pinoy na pinoy ang kulay ng balat. Tingin niya ay kaedaran lang niya ito.

"Seniorito Liam, totoo nga! Ikaw nga!" salubong na bati ng matandang babae na niyakap pa si Will.

"Siyempre naman po, Nay Choleng. Sinabi ko naman sa inyo ‘di ba, bibisita ako kapag nagka-oras ako,” sagot naman ni Will, gumanti rin ng yakap.

Nang kumalas ang matanda, mabilis itong nagpunas ng luha. Bahagya ring suminghot.  For a while, she thought of her Yaya Bining, the warmth of her nanny's embrace and the comfort it gives whenever she's sad and lonely. Kagaya ngayon.

"Maligayang pagbabalik, Seniorito Liam," sabi ng mas batang babae, nakangiti.

"Salamat, Diding! Ang laki mo na, a. May sinagot ka na ba sa mga manliligaw mo?”

Kumibot ang labi ni Diding. Tinapunan ng makahulugang tingin si Nay Choleng.

"Wala pa po, Seniorito. Ayaw pa po nila Lola e," sumbong nito

"Ku, e paano ang gustong gawing nobyo, ‘yong mga gwapo kahit na balitang-balita ang pagiging babaero," depensa naman ng matanda.

"E kamukha ni Baekhyun, Lola e," nanghahaba ang nguso na rason ni Diding.

"Bakyahun, Bakyahun. ‘Yan ka na naman sa mga koreano mong mapuputla. Naku-u, Candida!" napapairap na pangangaral ni Nay Choleng.

Kumibot-kibot ang labi ni Diding, tila may sinasabi pero wala namang sounds. She could almost imagine herself doing just that whenever her Dad tries to talk her into things.

She pressed her lips together to prevent herself from smiling. Diding would be delighted if she'd tell her she had a chance to dine with all the EXO members once.

"Aba'y kay ganda namang dalaga," Baling sa kanya ng matanda, maya-maya.  "Nobya niyo Seniorito?"

Nilingon siya ni Will, tumitig bago bumuntong–hininga.

"Hindi po," maagap na sagot niya. "Ako po si—“

“Siya ang anak ng bagong may-ari nitong farm, Choleng. Si S-seniorita Cassie,” putol ni Mg Gener na sumulpot mula sa likuran nila.

Kagaya ni Mg Gener kanina, nawala rin ang ngiti sa mukha ng matandang babae. But it was quick. Ngumiti rin ito ulit after a few seconds.

"Maligayang pagdating, Seniorita Cassie," bati nito bago muling nagtaas ng tingin kay Will.  "M-mabuti pa siguro pumasok na muna tayo sa loob nang makapag-luto muna kami ng agahan. Diding, ihatid mo muna sina Seniorito Liam at Seniorita Cassie sa mga kuwarto sa itaas. Sigurado ,pagod sila sa byahe," patuloy pa ng matanda bago nagpatiunang pumasok sa loob ng kabahayan.

Nagpatangay na lang siya kay Diding nang ayain siya nitong umakyat sa second floor ng bahay.

The room was decent. May four-poster bed na gawa sa matibay na kahoy. Sa tabi niyon ay may night table na gawa rin sa kahoy. Sa bandang kanan naman ng kuwarto ay  mayroong malaking bintana na gawa sa capiz. It was typical for an old provincial house. Binuksan  ni Diding ang bintana at doon bumuhos ang liwanag sa buong silid. That’s when she realized na hindi pala puti ang kulay ng kobre-kama kundi mapusyaw na dilaw, like ecru or something close to that shade. A soft gentle wind blew and it caught the light curtains on the window. Agad hinabol ni Diding ang mga kurtina at nilagyan ng curtain holder. Sa kanan ay naroon naman ang maliit na banyo.

The room, though  small and very simple to her taste, is very welcoming. The pillows on top of the bed looks fluffy and very inviting.

"Mahiga po muna kayo Seniorita, tatawagin ko na lang po kayo kung nakahanda na po ang agahan," ani Diding.

Akma na sana itong lalabas ng kuwarto ngunit ‘di niya napigilan ang sariling magtanong. "Matagal ka na ba rito Diding?"

"Mula pa po pagkabata Seniorita. Ang Lola naman ay nanilbihan pa sa mga lolo at lola ni Seniorito Liam.”

"Nasaan nga pala ang mga magulang ni Wi- Liam?"

“Si Senyora Olivia po ay matagal nang namatay dahil sa sakit sa puso. Si Sir Nick naman po ay nasa Amerika at pinamamahalaan ang kanilang mga negosyo.”

"Madalas ba kung magbakasyon ang tatay ni L-Liam dito?" tanong niya ulit.

Umiling si Diding. "Naku, hindi po. Sa tanang buhay ko ay iilang beses ko pa lamang nakikita si Sir Nick. Ang pinakahuli ay nang muntikan nang ikasal si Seniorito Liam kay—" agad nitong tinutop ang bibig, pinanlakihan ng mata.

She blinked.

 Did she hear it right? Will was supposed to get married. Supposed. Ibig sabihin hindi natuloy.

 "Kanino siya dapat ikakasal Diding?" tanong niya ulit. Umiwas ng tingin si Diding. Mukhang wala itong balak sumagot. But she’s persistent. “Diding?” untag niya ulit dito, maya-maya

 Nagkamot ito ng batok.

 "K-kay Kareen Montero po, ‘yong sumisikat ngayon na model sa ibang bansa. Pinsan din siya ng mga Montero na may-ari ng katabing hacienda," umpisa nito. "Alam niyo po  ba, kahit naudlot ang pagpapakasal nila ni Seniorito kasi tutol si Sir Nick, naniniwala ako na sila ang para sa isa't-isa. Kasi tingnan niyo naman, hanggang ngayon, wala pa ring asawa si Seniorito. Tapos noong huling bakasyon ni Seniorito, nagkataon na nagbakasyon din si Ma'am Kareen. Ang sabi pa nga ni Seniorito kay Lola noon,  hinding-hindi na raw siya magmamahal ng iba liban kay Kareen. Aba ay napaka-loyal  ni Seniorito, ano po? Ang akala nga namin noon, matutuloy na ang kasalan e. Kaso biglang umalis si Seniorito. Hindi naman alam kung saan nagpunta. At heto pa..."

 Diding was talking in her normal jolly tone. But she doesn’t know why every word seemed to be like a knife stabbing and twisting inside her chest.

 She swallowed the painful lump that formed in her throat when she finally understood.

 Mali nga na pag-isipan niya ng ibang kahulugan ang mabuting pakikitungo ni Will sa kanya. Kahit ang mga halik nito, ang bawat yakap, ang mga haplos, alam na niya ngayon, na wala talagang ibig sabihin dahil may mahal itong iba.

 Sure she’s finally on his standard of beautiful. But what is beauty compared to love?

 And who is she compared to this Kareen that had captured Will’s heart?

 Will is righteous and she is corrupted.

 Will is the good and she has always been regarded as the bad.

 She doesn't know why she started to hope that there could be something between them when she had always known, their worlds will always be apart.

 And it’s her fault why she’s hurting now. She knew the facts and yet she hoped. Her illusion is slowly crumbling under feet and it’s hurting her all the more!

 "At ang nakakagalak pa po, ngayon po nandito din-"

 "Diding, kanina pa kita hinihintay sa kusina a,” ani Nay Choleng na nakasilip na pala sa pinto. Bumaling ito sa kanya, alanganing ngumiti. “A e Seniorita, hihiramin ko lang po muna si Candida, ha?" paalam ng matanda.

 Alanganing tumingin si Diding sa kanya, nagkamot ng ulo.

 "It's okay you can go," sabi niya, pilit ang ngiti.

 Nang lisanin ng mag-lola ang kuwarto at tuluyang sumara ang pinto, tuluyan nang tumulo ang luha niya. She commanded herself not to cry, but she can’t help it. Nasasaktan siya sa mga nalaman niya.

 She should’ve known better. This world has always hated. Madamot sa kanya ang mundo. And she had always known, happiness will never be hers.

 Nang mapahikbi siya, she quickly grabbed a pillow and muffled her cries with it. Ayaw niyang may iba pang maistorbo sa pag-iyak niya. Hindi na nga siya welcome sa farm, mag-iingay pa siya.

 Maya-maya pa, biglang bumukas ang pinto ng silid. Mabilis siyang nagpunas ng luha at tumayo sa gilid ng kama.

 Pumasok si Will, madilim ang mukha. She bit her lower lip. Sigurado siya, mag-aaway na naman sila.

 "Why can't I contact your Dad?" mataas ang boses na tanong nito, salubong ang mga kilay.

 She swallowed her fear and tried to act as normal defiant self.

 "S-seriously you are asking me that? I haven't talked to him for ages. I don't even have a cellphone remember?" sagot niya bago humalukipip.

 Will cursed under his breath and began pacing back in forth the room. "Hindi ito ang usapan namin ng Daddy mo. Pinapabayaan niya ang farm! Alam mo ba na personal na umutang si Mg Gener sa bangko para lang matustusan ang mga pangangailangan dito sa farm? Mula sa mga pakain ng mga fingerlings, hanggang sa mga abono, pati na rin pasweldo sa tauhan, si Mg Gener lahat ang umaako nitong nakalipas na dalawang buwan!" singhal ni Will sa kanya na kanyang ikinaigtad.

 She can clearly see rage in his eyes. She wanted to reason out but she chose not to. Besides, she’s nursing a broken heart and him confusing her is not helping at all!

 "Anong plano ninyo, ha? You want to tear this farm down para lang bumalik ako sa amin? Was that your plan? Iyon ba ang sinabi sa inyo ni Dad? Well, f*ck it! I won't go home!" asik nito.

 She balled her fist and tried to restrained herself. But she's too hurt and too confused. Inaakusahan siya nito sa isang kasalanan na hindi man lang niya alam kung ano. 

This jerk kept on hurting her over and over. And she finds it so unfair!

 "Hindi ko alam kung anong masamang hangin ang nalanghap mo kanina at nagbago nang ganyan ang ugali mo. But I am telling you now, you can cuss me all you want but one thing remains, I don’t have any clue to what you’re saying, you dickhead!" ganting singhal niya rito.

 He scoffed.  "Ha! Of course! You'd deny. Para sabihin ko sa 'yo, this farm here has been with Mom's family for generations. And now for some selfish reasons of my Dad, he sold it off to his friend who wouldn't allow me to buy it back unless I tame his wild and spoiled heiress!"

 Napasinghap siya sa sinabi nito. For a while she didn’t know what to say or what to feel. The truth has finally come out.

 Will was really just putting up with her so that he could get his Mom's farm back. She was really a part of a deal. A deal between him and her father.

 She bit he lower lip and looked away.

 So that's how it feels to have your life be regarded as some kind of a commodity being bargained for.

 That was also the reason Will he needed to be good to her and say words she wanted to hear in order to tame her. Because by doing so, he'd get his farm back and he'd go on with his life just like he used to.

 Napayuko na siya sa puntong iyon.  She was clearly standing there breathing, but deep inside she’s drowning— enduring an unbearable pain.

 Nang pumatak ang luha niya, mabilis niya iyong pinalis habang nakayuko.

 “I’m sorry, Will. F-for all the wrong things I didn’t know I did,” bulong niya bago dahan-dahang tinungo ang banyo at nagkulong doon.

 Matagal siyang impit na umiyak.