My Untamed Princess

Chapter 34: Gestures and Standards 2

"Tumawag ka kung may kailangan ka," bilin ni Will kay Chelsea. Will pulled up the car in front of a house a couple of kilometers outside the city. Kagagaling lang nila sa sementeryo. Will paid his final respects to his late nanny.

 "Wala na akong kailangan, Will. 'Yong bigay mo , sobra-sobra na iyon para makapag-umpisa ulit ako. Kapag kumikita na ang store, makakabawi na talaga ako," sagot ni Chelsea bago tuluyang bumaba ng sasakyan.

Sumunod din silang bumaba ni Will.

Cassie studied the house in front of them . Isa iyong bungalow, rough finish ang dingding at kulay pula ang bubong. It looked unfinished but livable. Ayon kay Chelsea, pag-aari iyon ng malayo nitong kamag-anak at sadyang pinapaupahan kaya ito na lang ang nagprisintang mag-renta. Malapit din lang iyon sa bayan, kaya hindi na ito mahihirapan sa pagbabantay sa binabalak nitong grocery store sa mismong palengke. Tamang-tama sa pagbabagong-buhay na pinapangarap nito.

 "Tatawag ako sa graduation ko. Dapat nandito kayong dalawa ni Cassie," sabi pa Chelsea, nakatingin Kay Will. "Kung sabagay, dalawang taon pa siguro 'yon. Matagal pa, may panahon pa para sa inyong dalawa." Sumulyap si Will sa kanya makahulugan. She averted her eyes in confusion.

What time is Chelsea's talking about?

Muling nag-usap ang dalawa. Masipag maghabilin si Will. But Chelsea would crack jokes from time to time and they'd end up laughing.

Ngayon niya naintindihan kung bakit tuwing nakakausap ni Will si Chelsea, gumaganda ang mood nito pagbalik sa unit nila. Chelsea is a natural joker. Just like Ella and Rica. Kung siguro nagkaroon lang sila ng pagkakataong mag-usap noon, magkakasundo rin sila.

Matapos masabi ni Will ang lahat ng habilin nito, tuluyan na silang nagpaalam kay Chelsea. It was a little over 5 in the afternoon. And the late afternoon light of the sun is giving her a lazy feel. Other times, she'd easily fall asleep. But she doesn't want to sleep now. And so she busied herself watching the meadows they were passing by. Province life is so peaceful compared to the chaotic hustle and bustle of the city, she realized.

She used to love Batangas too. She used to spend her summer vacations at her Tita Marga's place in Batangas. Natigil nga lang after her Christmas vacation when she was 16 years old, a year after her Tita Marga married her step uncle Fred.

Stay still, schatz.

She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to dismiss the bad memory. But the memory lingered in her head, flashing even the horrors that came after like a curse she cannot undo. Bigla tuloy siyang napakapit sa seatbelt niya

"Ayos ka lang?" pukaw ni Will sa kanya. Hindi siya sumagot. O mas tamang sabihin na hindi siya makasagot dahil nanginginig siya. She clasped her hands tightly and tried hard to contain the tremors.

But her heart was beating loudly against her chest. And when her throat began to feel dry, she found it hard to breath. She was having an anxiety attack. Again.

She gradually sunk herself on the car's seat trying to calm herself but to no avail.

Will then reached for her hand.  "Nilalamig ka. Gusto mo hinaan ko 'yong aircon?" sabi nito.

"I... I think I'm gonna be sick," bulong niya.

Will cursed under his breath. "Diretso na tayo sa ospital, gusto mo?" anito, panay ang sulyap sa kanya.

 Mabilis siyang umiling. "J-just stop the car for a while.I just need to...breath," aniya.

Mabilis naman nitong iginilid ang kotse sa lilim ng isang puno. Nakatayo iyon paharap sa isang parang na may mga sunflowers sa 'di kalayuan.

Mabilis siyang lumabas ng kotse at sunod-sunod na humigit-buga ng hininga. Napasandal siya sa hood ng kotse because her knees were wobbling. 

She knew she needed to calm herself. She doesn't want to pass out.

And so she focused on the not so faraway sunflowers, her favorite flowers.

Maya-maya pa, idinantay ni Will ang leather jacket nito sa magkabilang balikat niya at walang sabi-sabi siyang kinabig payakap.

She then closed her eyes. She commanded herself to feel, to be aware of that moment. A minute more and she stilled.

How the sudden cold melted away against the heat of his skin, she doesn't really know. Basta ang alam niya, kapag yakap siya nito, ligtas siya. Walang mananakit sa kanya, ni magtangka ay wala.

She said a silent wish.

If it not too much can I stay with you...forever?

Malungkot siyang ngumiti. It's a wish that she knew, will never come true.

"Are you comfortable? Can you breath well?" tanong ni Will maya-maya.

She looked up to him. Worry was written all over his face. Oh how she wanted to give meaning to his gestures. But again, she knew, she’ll never ever make it his standards.

Tumango lang siya bago muling humugot ng malalim na hininga. She looked away and settled her eyes once again on the sunflowers.

She silently watched the flowers as they steadfastly moved their heads towards west-- where the sun sets. She smiled sadly when she thought of how the flower does that everyday… tirelessly. Like it's sole purpose was just to follow the sun... wherever it goes. 

Hindi naglaon, bumagal na ang pitik ng puso niya. Hindi na rin siya nanginginig. Pati ang kanyang paghinga, magaan  na rin. Maayos na siya.

"Sunflowers are my favorite," sabi niya maya-maya.

Will released her from his hold, sumandal din sa hood ng kotse bago muling bumaling sa kanya.

"So, you really hated roses not just because you hate me," pahayag nito, nangingiti.

“Yeah.” She chuckled. "You were a jerk and I hated roses more at that time because they were from you," nanunulis ang labi na paliwanag niya.

He gently shook his head, smiling. Bumubulong ito pero hindi niya masyadong maintindihan. Naaliw siguro sa pag-amin niya.

"Just stay here," anito, maya-maya.

"Sa'n ka pupunta?" sabi niya. Hindi na ito sumagot.

She silently watched him walked in the meadows.  Pagbalik nito ay may hawak na itong isang tangkay ng sunflower.

“Here you go,” anito, nakangiti bago inabot sa kanya ang bulaklak.

Nang tanggapin niya ang bulaklak, a sudden warm feeling enveloped her heart—drowning her with hope and endless joy.

How can she not love him when he does these things? How can she tell her heart not to hope?

She mentally shook her head. She should not think of those things just yet. She should make memories with him. Lots of it.

 "Thank you, Will," sabi niya maya-maya bago nag-angat ng tingin dito.

Will smiled back at her and gently brushed his knuckles on her cheeks. “You’re welcome, princess,” anito bago muling binuksan ang pinto ng passenger’s seat. “Tara na?”

Mabilis siyang tumango bago humakbang papasok ng sasakyan. Ilang sandali pa, nasa daan na sila ulit pauwi.

Nang tuluyang lumatag ang dilim, nag-aya ito ng dinner. It’s been a long day and she’s also famished kaya pumayag na din siya.  Sumaglit sila sa isang restaurant na nadaanan nila at doon kumain ng  hapunan. They talked about trivial things. The kapre even cracked one or two jokes that made her burst into laughter. And she’s actually realizing now, how good they are at talking if only he would stop being annoying.

They stayed at the restaurant for few more hours. Alas-nueve na ng gabi nang makalabas sila nang tuluyan ng Pampanga.

"So is it safe to say that a place surrounded by sunflowers is your happy place?" tanong nito habang ang mga mata ay nasa daan.

"Oo naman," mabilis niyang sagot.

Gusto pa sana niyang dugtungan ng, But right now, anywhere with you is my happy place.

But who is she to say that? She’ll always be the girl who will never ever fit his standards. Plus, she doesn’t want to ruin his mood. And saying inappropriate words would surely do that.

Tumikhim siya. "Ikaw saan ang happy place mo?" nahihikab na tanong niya.

Sumulyap ito sa kanya. "Gusto mong maidlip muna? May kumot at unan ako sa back seat," suhestiyon nito.

Inabot nito ang isang kumot at neck pillow sa backseat at binigay sa kanya. Kung tutuusin, pagod na rin siya talaga at kanina pa gustong bumagsak ng mga mata niya. She hadn't been sleeping well since he left. Kaya siguro umaangal na ang katawan niya ngayon, naniningil ng tulog.

Ini-recline pa nito ang upuan niya to make her more comfortable. And as soon as she hit the makeshift bed, agad siyang dinalaw ng antok.

Nang muli siyang magmulat, halos maliwanag na. Iba na rin ang paligid niya. Well, she’s still in the car but the surrounding is different. She can even hear the birds chirping from outside the car. The car’s door was open and from there she saw that the car was parked in front of a small house. It was a typical kubo na gawa sa kawayan at pawid.  Alanganin siyang bumangon. A fresh gentle breeze greeted her as soon as she stepped out of the car.

She was confused and disoriented at first.

 She felt like she was having a hang-over sans the headache. Where the hell is she? And more importantly, where the hell is Will?

Sinubukan niyang ipagala ang tingin sa paligid. That’s when she realized that the small house was seating on top of small hill.  And when she looked down, she gasped at the magnificent sight she has seen. Rows and rows of beautiful sunflowers were there. Some were still bowing, others were readily flashing their beautiful crowns towards the sky waiting for the sun to bathe them with its light. It was so picturesque, like a scene straight from a postcard.

Pasimple pa niyang kinurot ang sarili upang siguruhing gising na siya at hindi nananaginip lang. Agad na rumehistro ang sakit sa kamay niya.

She's not dreaming!

It's all real!

"Goodmorning!" pukaw ng pamilyar na boses sa likuran niya.

When she turned, she saw Will. He was walking towards her smiling. In his hands were two mugs of  hot beverage.

 "Where are we?" mabilis niyang tanong nang makalapit ito. "Bakit 'di mo ako ginising?"

Ngumiti lang ito. "Masarap ang tulog mo e. Nakukonsensya akong mang-istorbo. At tungkol sa tanong mo kung nasaan tayo, we're on our farm here in Pangasinan. My mom's farm," sagot nito.

Pumorma ang 'o' sa bibig niya bago tinanggap ang mug na iniaabot ito. Napakurap siya at inalala ang usapan nila kagabi. They were talking about their happy places.

"So this is your happy place? Favorite flower mo rin ang sunflowers?" excited niyang tanong.

Umiling ito. “Are you happy?”

Magaan siyang ngumiti, muling hinayon ng tingin ang hilera ng sunflowers. “Of course, I am,” aniya bago ibinalik ang tingin dito.

"Then my happy place right now, is here," anito, pabulong.

Napakurap siya.

What did he say? Did she hear it right? It's too early for confusion but he's doing just that. Actually, he has been confusing her for quite sometime now. Hindi rin nakatulong ang kape, lalo kasing bumilis ang pitik ng puso niya. Kahit na gusto rin niyang umiwas ng tingin, hindi niya magawa. His eyes were hypnotizing, commanding her not to look at anything else but his handsome face.

"W-what did you say?" tanong niya, alanganin.

Sumakto ang pagtama ng unang sinag ng araw sa mukha ni Will. Bumaling ito sa direksyon ng papasikat na araw.

"The sun is rising," pahayag nito, as if dismissing her question.

Wala na siyang nagawa kundi gayahin ang ginawa nito. Not a minute longer, the sun bathed the flowers with its light, bringing all of it to life. Commanding all of it to bloom and bask under the life-giving warmth it gives.  It was a wonderful sight. Breathtaking.  

"It's beautiful," wala sa sarili niyang bulong.  

 And just when she thought that they'd spend the next few minutes in silence, he turned to her and said, "Yes, princess, and so are you.”