My Untamed Princess

Chapter 36: False Hope 2

"Seniorita, kain na po kayo. Masasarap po lahat ng mga iyan," ani Diding na nakatayo sa tabi ni  Cassie.

She looked at the long and spacious table in front if her yet, she was sitting there all alone.  Wala si Will, may importante raw na inasikaso sabi ni Nay Choleng. Kung ano man iyon, wala na siyang balak na alamin pa.

Masarap ang nakahain na pagkain sa mesa, may piniritong boneless na bangus, sinangag, sunny side up egg at iba. Halatang pinaghandaan ni Nay Choleng ang agahan.

Tiningala niya si Diding at pilit na nginitian.

"Sige na Diding, ako na lang ang bahala sa sarili ko," aniya.

"Sige po, Seniorita. ‘Pag kailangan niyo po ako, nasa kusina lang po ako," paalam nito bago tuluyang bumalik sa kusina.

Once again, she looked at the sumptuous breakfast in front of her. It’s like she’s back in their mansion where her Yaya Bining and their hoard of maids would cook different dishes just to make her eat breakfast.  But she’s really not a breakfast person. Not that big Filipino breakfast in front of her. But she can’t tell that to Nay Choleng or Diding, can she? That would be too rude.

But again… that’s not her usual breakfast. Ngayon, mas sanay ang tiyan niya sa instant na kape at pandesal sa umaga.

Maya-maya pa, dumiretso ang likod niya sa upuan nang may maisip. Maybe she’ll just have to ask Nay Choleng for pandesal and coffee and save those food on the table for lunch.

Tumayo na siya at humakbang patungo sa lumang louvre door na nakaharang patungo sa kusina. Akma na sana niyang itutulak iyon pabukas nang may marinig siyang nagtatalo sa loob.  She withdrew her hand and stood on the wall near the door.

"Pinaghanda mo pa nang marangya, e pinapatay na nga tayo dito," reklamo ng isang boses. It’s a voice of an old man. She’s sure that’s Mg Gener.

"Ku-u! Ikaw talaga Gener 'yang pagiging suplado mo, tigil-tigilan mo rin minsan. Bisita siya rito. At 'di mo maikakaila na siya na ang amo natin," paninita naman ni Nay Choleng sa kausap.

"At saka Lolo, mukha naman siyang mabait," segunda pa ni Diding.

Humugong ang matandang lalaki. "Patpatiem! Ganyan ang mga mayayaman mahilig magkunwari! Immala dayta kenni ama na nga gamrod! Buti na lang at hindi nagkagusto si Seniorito Liam sa kanya. Kung nagkatuluyan sila, baka tuloy-tuloy na itong paghihirap natin," patuloy na komento ni Mg Gener.

Hindi man niya naiindintihan ang ibang sinasabi ni Mg Gener, she can sense the hate in his voice. Base sa akusasayon ni Will, iyon siguro ang ikinagagalit ng matanda. She knew it, she really is not welcome there.

"Sabihin ninyo sa kanya na bilis-bilisan ang pagkain. Marami pa akong gagawin sa palaisdaan," patuloy pa ng matanda bago tuluyang lumabas mula sa louvre door.

Nagulat pa ito nang makita siya sa kinatatayuan niya. Agad na nagsalubong ang mga kilay nito, namutla.

"S-Seniorita..."

She tried her hardest to smile. Because no matter how she tried, she can't hate the man.  If Will's allegations were true, then she really is the villain there.

"N-narinig niyo po  ‘yong—“

Agad siyang umiling bago bumalik sa dining table. Kumuha siya ng pagkain at inilagay sa plato niya. Kahit hindi niya gusto, kailangan niyang gustuhin ang mga iyon. Dugo at pawis ng mga taga-roon ang ipinambili sa mga iyon.

She had never tasted food that bitter ll her life. And she had never realized how troublesome her existence was to others until now.

 ----

She had spent the rest of the morning inside her room. When lunch came, hindi siya kumain kahit na ilang beses siyang tinawag ni Diding para kumain. She just stayed inside her room and drenched herself in bitter solace.

She had been thinking. She still have a few more weeks with Will and after that she'll be free of him and him of her.

Napabuntong hininga siya.

Free.

Can she really be free of him when her heart was already bound to him? Can she really be free when she goes back to her family, where her prison walls were as big as her whole life?

Few more weeks, she told herself.

She'll think more about those things after few more weeks.

Tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo sa kama at tinungo ang bintana. Kita mula roon ang malawak na palayan na nadaanan nila kanina.

Maya-maya pa, nakarinig siya ng nag-uusap sa malapit. Boses iyon ng lalaki at babae.

"Can you still take me back, Will? Maybe it's not yet too late for the both us. I still feel the same," anang babae.

Napakurap siya. Who’s that girl talking to Will?

Bahagya niyang sinilip ang katabing kuwarto mula sa bintana. There she saw a woman and Will, on the balcony of the other room—embracing each other. The woman was sobbing and Will was comforting her.

After a while, bumitiw ang babae kay Will. Doon niya ito napagmasdan nang mabuti. Her long hair was brown just like her.  Her deep-set eyes were as dark as midnight complimenting her small nose and thin lips.

The woman looked like a saint. Hindi gaya niya na kung ituring ng karamihan ay babaeng pariwara.

"I wanted to. But Kareen, I can't leave her just yet. Cassie is my responsibilty," sagot ni Will.

She bit her lower lip and walked a step back. Pakiramdam niya may dumagan na kung anong mabigat na bagay sa dibdib niya.

Kareen.

Will was talking to Kareen. The woman he almost married. The woman he swore he'd only love.

And again, just like a villain in a fairy tale, she's getting in the way for Will and Kareen's happy ever after.

She swallowed tha pianful lump in her throat. She wanted to cry but the pain was too strong it numbed her.

You are good. You are precious.

Those were her mother’s words. At paulit-ulit niya iyong ini-replay sa isip niya, like her mother was the one saying it.  But still the same, the pain didn’t go away. It grew more. It drowned her deeper into the abyss pf misery she’s already in.

If she is good and too precious, why is it nobody wants her? Why can’t someone love her? Why?

Mabilis niyang tinutop ang bibig nang magsimula siyang humikbi. Nagsusunod-sunod na rin ang pagtulo ng luha niya. She can’t help it. 

The pain was too strong. Overtaking her. Overpowering her.  Stripping her of the strength that was left in her.

If it was possible, she wanted to scream and just die after. But she had always known, she’s meant to live a life of misery. And so here she is, enduring another day while her heart is breaking into a million little pieces over and over again.

Hinayaan niya ang sarili na umiyak ng ilang minuto. Wala naman kasi siyang magagawang iba. Wala siyang masisisi. Wala siyang matatakbuhan. Kaya umiyak na lang siya. Nang panandalian siyang kumalma, ibinaling niyang muli ang tingin sa labas.

Hapon na. Ilang oras na lang babalik na sila sa Maynila.

Nahagip ng mata niya ang sunflower garden ng mansiyon. She wanted to see the sunflower farm for the last time before they went home. Kahit iyon man lang ang magandang alaala na dadalhin niya pag-alis niya sa lugar na iyon.

She quickly fixed herself before going out of the room. Kaya lang,  kasabay ng pag-klik ng pintuan sa kanyang likuran, siya ring paglabas ni Kareen mula sa kabilang kuwarto.

Nagtama ang kanilang paningin. The woman was even prettier up close. She wanted to curse at the woman, hurl hurtful words on her. But what would that make her? Besides, anong kasalanan nito sa kanya para gawin niya ‘yon?

No. She won’t stoop that low.

Ngumiti ito sa kanya bago siya nilapitan. "You must be Cassie?" bungad nito sa malumanay at mahinhin na paraan.

She cursed silently because she knew, ni katiting na hinhin, wala nang natitira pa sa kanya. She argues. She cusses. She speaks her mind. She’s wild. She’s untamed. At doon palang, talong-talo na siya.

She bet kung kayang makipagtalo ni Kareen.

Kareen. Mahinhin.

Dammit! It even rhymes!

"Y-yes," alanganing sagot niya, pilit ang ngiti.

Ngumiti ulit si Kareen bago inilahad ang kamay nito sa kanya. "I'm Kareen. Nice meeting you, Cassie." Tinanggap niya ang kamay nito at pormal na nakipagkamay dito.

Sakto naman na lumabas mula sa kuwarto nito si Will. He gave her a quick glance. She instantly felt his heavy stares at her. Pero nang lingunin nito ni Kareen, agad naman itong ngumiti.

The jerk changes his mood that quick.

Nang makalapit si Will sa puwesto nila, he instantly circled his hands on Kareen’s waist. She automatically looked away.

Those are the moments that she should not feel hurt because she doesn’t have the right even if she wanted to. And whatever pain she’s feeling right, she inflicted it on her herself.

Will made it clear two years ago that she's not the kind of woman he'd fall for. But her heart believed in a false hope. And now she’s here crying, hurting, and breaking. It was clearly all her fault.

"Hatid ko lang si Kareen sa kanila. Pagbalik ko, we'll be on our way," sabi ni Will, pormal.

Hindi niya ito binalingan, tumayo lang siya habang sa iba nakatingin.  She doesn’t want to talk either. Baka kasi imbes na salita, hikbi ang lumabas sa bibig niya. And she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her hurt and in a deep pain.

Will had taken so much from her. She'll save her pride, no matter how little was left of it.

"Nice meeting you, Cassie. See you around," paalam pa ni Kareen. Nginitian lang niya ito bago tumango ulit.

Then she watched them walk away, while holding each other’s hands and talking happily.

Sometimes, life really isn’t fair. It gives you things you didn’t want. And prevents you to have the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

She swallowed the painful lump in her throat and took a deep breath.

Maya-maya pa, bumaba na siya sa kusina. Naabutan niya roon si Mg Gener na nagkakape. Nakiusap siya rito na ihatid siya sunflower farm.

Agad namang umoo ang matanda. They used the owner-type jeep on the garage. Nang marating nila ang burol, agad siyang bumaba ng sasakyan.

"Iwan niyo na lang po ako rito Mg Gener. Kaya ko naman po sigurong lakarin ang pabalik sa mansiyon," sabi niya.

Dumungaw sa bintana ang matanda. "Seniorita, gusto ko po sanang humingi ng dispensa sa--"

"Naiintindihan ko po Mg Gener," putol niya rito, marahang umiling.

"Lamang po kasi--"

"Alam ko po, nararamdaman ko. Hindi niyo na po kailangang magpaliwanag. Salamat po sa paghatid sa akin dito. Hayaan niyo po, pagbalik ko ng Maynila, sasabihin ko po agad kay Daddy na asikasuhin ang pagbabalik nitong farm kay Will. H’wag po kayong mag-alala, magiging maayos na po ang lahat sa lalong madaling panahon," paliwanag niya. Kumurap-kurap ang matanda bago malungkot na ngumiti. "Salamat po ulit," aniya bago tuluyang binagtas ang direksyon ng kubo.

Nang marating niya ang kubo, agad siyang umupo sa  lilim ng puno na naroon. Nakatanim ang puno sa mismong gilid ng kubo.

From there she watched the rows of sunflowers that brought her so much joy that morning. But instead of a smile, bitter tears fell from her eyes. Uncontrollable sobs followed thereafter.

And when the wind blew, she wished. She wished for her heart to unlove Will.