My Untamed Princess

Chapter 25: Still Trying 2

Inirapan ni Cassie ang pamilyar na paper bag ng isang sikat na coffee shop na nakasabit sa door knob ng bahay nina Ella. It’s just a little over seven in the morning and she just woke up. Her eyes hurt from last night’s crying and her throat too from controlling her sobs. She had an awful dream last night. It was too vivid she can’t help but be awoken from it and just cry. At hindi niya tuloy malaman kung matutuwa siya na patuloy pa rin ang supply niya ng kape at bagels kahit na dalawang linggo na silang hindi nagkikibuan ni Will.

It has been two weeks since Will got the crazy and punched Luke. She had personally apologized to Tiyang Saling and Luke about the incident, but Luke tried to distance from her since.

And from then, hindi na rin niya kinibo si Will. She’d serve him breakfast and dinner nang walang kibuan. At tuwing natatapos ang trabaho niya sa unit nito, umaalis siya agad nang walang paalam. But he continued to try to talk to her. Siya lang ang ayaw bumigay at kausapin ito.

They were never really good at talking, anyway. Anong point pa ng pag-uusap? Mas mabuti nang gano’n sila, walang kibuan, walang singhalan, walang masasaktan.

Inalis niya sa doorknob ang paper bag at iilapag iyon sa center table sa sala. Napabuga siya ng hininga at nagdesisyong lumipat na sa unit nila ni Will. Kaya lang, wala nang tao sa unit ito. The jerk must’ve got off early. Na naman. She turned to the fridge. Will used to leave a checklist there of the things she needs to do for the day. At nagtataka siya kung bakit ngayong araw, wala itong note na iniwan.

Nagkibit-balikat siya. Baka day off niya.

Oh well, mabuti na rin ‘yon. Sasama siya kay Ella ngayon sa raket nito e. May magpapa-make-up daw na mga sasali sa pageant. Sa totoo lang, hiniling niya ‘yon kay Ella dahil gusto niyang kumita ng pera. There’s something she wants to buy a few days from now. Pride dictates her that she won’t ask anything from Will. She's alone but she knows can make it on her own. Kaya kinulit niya talaga si Ella na hanapan siya ng trabaho kahit na temporary lang. Good thing na naghahanap si Ella ng puwedeng assistant para sa raket nito kaya nagprisinta na rin siya.

Tutal naman, she had always loved doing make-up. She even once told her Dad that she'd love to put up a make-up company someday but her Dad rejected her idea at the first chance he got. She knew he wanted her to take over Capitol Cars. Not that she doen't love cars, but, can’t she have a business of her own? Something that she likes. Something she can call her very own.

For all the bad things people thought she’d done, she wanted them to see that she’s just more than the brat with a pretty face at suki ng mga eskandalo. She wanted people to see her and her worth.

She sighed and went out of Will’s unit. Pagbalik niya sa unit nina Ella, gising na ang magkapatid. Nagbigay ng instructions si Ella sa kanya tungkol sa schedule nila ngayong araw at kung anu-ano ang mga kailangang dalhin. She had mentally noted all of it before she went to the bathroom to take a bath.

-----

Marahang ipinahid ni Cassie ang make-up brush sa pisngi ng customer na mine-make upan niya. Maya-maya pa, inilayo niya ang sarili kaunti so that she’d have a good look of her customer. The customer is barely 18, but she’s tall and really has a pretty face. Napangiti siya nang makita ang kinalabasan ng trabaho niya. She transformed the young lady into a beautiful goddess ready to smize and slay all the other contenders of the pageant.

"Ella, tapos na siya," deklara niya bago bumaling kay Ella na abala pa rin sa pagme-make up ng lalaking partner naman ng minake-up-an niya.

Nilingon siya ni Ella, sandaling tinitigan ang babaeng kandidata. "In fairness ha, ang bongga! Lalong umangat ang features ng cheekbones at mga mata niya. Sige girl, malapit na rin 'to. Isang palitada na lang kay boylet," anito bago itinuloy ang ginagawa.

After an hour, sumama silang bumiyahe ni Ella sa isang stadium kung saan gaganapin ang pageant. They had to go just in case of touch-ups. Nang halos humapon na at hindi pa tapos ang pageant, hiningi na ni Ella sa manager ng mga bata ang bayad nila.

Ella gave her P2,500,  hati sila sa kita ng araw na iyon. Her p*****t for the day would have just cost an appetizer in her favorite restaurant. But because she’s broke, the money is worth more than it used to. Plus, that’s her first salary. And she’s really proud of it.

Living in the tenement had made her become more aware of the nitty gritty of living a simple life, just like all the other residents there. And she must admit, she had gained a new admiration for people living in that side of the metro.

Mabilis silang nagligpit ni Ella ng mga gamit, sabay din silang umuwi pagkatapos.

Dahil pagod siya, hindi na siya makakapagluto pa ng hapunan ng kapre. Bumili na lang siya ng pagkain nito sa labasan gamit ang perang kinita niya. Ayaw niya sa sanang bawasan iyon pero wala siyang choice. She’s sure, maghahanap ng dinner ang kapre.

Pagpasok niya sa unit ni Will, nagulat pa siya nang makitang naroon na ito—he was silently seated in the single-seater bamboo chair with his eyes closed.

She quietly entered the house, ayaw niya itong magising. Tahimik din siyang naghain ng mga binili niyang pagkain para dito. Mabilis niyang nilagyan ng takip ang mga pagkain pagkatapos. Nakapikit pa rin kasi ito at wala pa ‘atang balak kumain.

Paalis na sana siya ng unit nang bigla itong magsalita.

"Cassie?" Agad siyang lumingon. "Aalis ka na? Hindi mo ulit ako sasabayan?" dugtong pa nito. Tumayo na ito at hinilot-hilot ang batok.

Hindi siya agad sumagot. She studied his face instead. His eyes looked tired. She knew he was exhausted, almost spent. Kung ano man ang pinagkakaabalahan nito, sigurado siya, iyon ang humihigop sa lahat ng lakas nito. She would've just turned around and make her way out of his house without saying a word like she used to for the past two weeks, but  she slowly shook her head and said, "We had a snack kanina sa pinuntahan namin ni Ella. Busog pa 'ko."

“You went out?”

She bit her lip. “Y-yeah. Nag-make up kami ng candidates sa pagaents. Hindi ko nasabi sa ‘yo kasi… kasi… you went out early today. Please don’t be angry,” maagap niyang paliwanag.

“I’m not,” mabilis nitong sagot. “You’re home safe and that’s all that matters.”

Tumango-tango ito bago pinisil ang pagitan ng mga mata, marahang nagbuga ng hininga.

Nagsalubong na ang mga kilay niya. "Are you okay?"

"I'm... I'm good," sagot nito, pabulong.

He said he’s good but why can’t she convince herself that he is? She knew the nature of his job. She had seen him fight. He had saved her once from evil men.

Is he in danger?

"A-are you sure?" she asked.

He gave her a faint smile. "Yes, I'm sure."

“Okay,” bulong niya bago muling humakbang patungo sa pinto.

"I won't be home for the next three days," pahayag nito na ikinalingon niya.

"Work?" she anxiously asked.

"Yeah. So... take care. I don't... I don't want anything... uhm... bad happen to you." 

"I'll be fine here," paniniguro niya. "You... you take care, too," she added in a shaky voice. She was about leave when he called her again.

 "Cassie?” Muli niya itong hinarap. "If after three days, I won't come back, can you do me a favor?" Alanganin siyang tumango.  Naglabas ito ng ATM sa pitaka nito at iniabot iyon sa kanya. "Please give this to Chelsea. They would be needing it."

She secretly bit her lower lip.Now she’s annoyed again. Ginagawa siya talagang utusan ng kapre. Bakit hindi na lang ito ibigay iyon ng diretso kay Chelsea?

Marahan siyang nagbuga ng hininga bago tinanggap ang ATM. Inirapan pa niya iyon nang makailang ulit bago ibinulsa.

"You have to go back to your family.”

Agad siyang nag-angat ng tingin dito. “What?”

"If I won't be back after three days, you can go home. Tito Ernie and his wife are still in abroad. Your friend Lizzie and her husband are having their early honeymoon gift in Vienna courtesy of your Dad. You can return home though, wala nang pipigil sa 'yo," he explained, sadness in his voice.

Bumigat na ang dibdib niya. Napuno na iyon ng pag-aalala at kaba. “H-hey, a-are you really, okay?”

He didn’t answer. He tried to reach for her face but he withdrew it on the last second. He just smiled at her and looked at her as if memorizing her face.

She tried to look away but… just like before, she can’t. Because not matter what she do, Will is her gravity and she'll always be drawn to him.

And seeing him like this—sad and inexplicably confused, hurts her. She may have done wrong things to her but… who else didn’t? All the world did her wrong anyway.

Is he really not coming back? Is he going somewhere dangerous that there's a big possibility that won’t make it out alive?

Oh God!

"Sige na, punta ka na sa kabila. Matulog ka na, para makapahinga ka," anito bago naglakad patungo sa kuwarto nito.

She was decided to leave too but her heart was so heavy she doesn’t want to. As if something inside her was not ready to leave just yet. And so, after a briefest of hesitation, she ran towards Will and embraced him from behind.

Will quickly turned and  automatically wrapped his arms around her whilst  stroking her back with gentle hands.  She didn’t protest nor utter any words. She just reveled the first taste of his warm embrace. His warmth was so comforting, almost too surreal for a man whom she had always regarded as her enemy. She would've cried, but she never allowed herself to do so.

She slowly lifted her head and met his gaze. His eyes were alive again, unlike awhile ago.

"You have to come back, Will. You have to promise me you will or I won't let you leave tomorrow,"  banta niya, nakalabi.

He chuckled.

"You're still bossy," komento nito na hinawakan pa ang tungki ng kanyang ilong. "You haven't learned how to get rid of that yet, princess."

"Then come back and watch me get rid of it." 

 Marahan itong natawa. "I'll try my very best.”

He'll try. He said, he'll try.

That's good enough for her. Not an assurance but something akin to it. She can accept that.

Maya-maya pa, kumalas ang mga kamay nito sa kanya at may dinukot sa bulsa. It was her mother’s locket. Mabilis nito iyong ikinabit sa leeg niya.

She bit her lip to keep herself from sobbing. He was giving her back her Mom's necklace.  Kinapa niya iyon sa kanyang dibdib bago sinalubong ang mga mata nito.

"You're giving it back to me because I have already learned everything I needed to learn here?"

He gave out a throaty and low laugh. "Nah. I want absolution from... what I did."

She scoffed and smiled. "Hey, you can't ask for that! Nanuntok ka, nanakit ka ng kapwa, at mahilig kang magsungit. You do know your crimes, don't you?"

"I know! That's why I keep on saying sorry. Can't you forgive this man who's about to--"

She immediately sshhed him and placed her finger on his lips. She can't hear those words coming from him.

Ayaw niyang marinig. Hindi niya puwedeng marinig ang mga salitang iyon.

Mabilis niyang kinalas ang kuwintas sa kanyang leeg at ikinabit iyon sa leeg nito.

"Return this to me after three days. That's the only time I'll accept your sorry. If you.... if you..." She shook her head. "Just come back and you’re forgiven."

Napangiti ito. "I said I'll try."

Tumango-tango na lamang siya bago alanganing itong niyakap. Siya na ang nagkusang kumalas sa pagkakayakap nila bago nagmamadaling tinungo ang pinto. Nakabukas na iyon nang muling magsalita si Will.

"Bye, Cassie."

Humigpit ang kapit niya sa seradura.

"You said you'd try to come back so I won't say goodbye. I'll see you, Will. I will still see you," aniya, hindi ito nililingon. Natatakot kasi siya. Ayaw niyang mapaiyak sa harap nito. She quickly stepped out of his unit before pulling the door close.

She clutched her chest and closed her eyes after as she tried to catch her breath.

She looked at the heavens, there were no moon nor stars on sight. It was gloomy. It was dark. As if the heavens were asleep, unable to hear and unable to see the dominion it oversees.

But she did lifted up her plea, nevertheless.

She made a prayer that night for the beast named Will Johnson whom she still loves, undeniably.