I Want Him

Chapter 18

Year 5

1995

//Kisses, Full Bodied Patronus's, Nightmares and Snape Lessons//

“You have to straighten your arm.” Robyn said and lifted Malfoy's arm a little higher so his hand was parallel to the floor, “Think of your happiest memory."

“I don’t have one.” Malfoy muttered bitterly and Robyn rolled her eyes and shook her head at his easy route of failure. He clearly had noted her emotion as he sighed and said, “Robyn, I’d tried the happiest memory I know. I don’t have one strong enough."

“Just think.” Was what she said and Malfoy huffed in annoyance. She stepped back as she watched him close his eyes and scrunch his face up in concentration. It was clear he was really trying though. Robyn ran her eyes over his face as he twitched in concentration then his face froze and relaxed a little. He flexed his hand around his wand and pointed it forward. He took a deep breath then cast, in a soft tone,

“Expecto Patronum.”

A tiny wisp of white came from the tip of the Malfoy wand and floated for a few seconds. A small gasp escaped Robyn's lips, "You did it." She told him and his eyes opened and he stared at the small white mist that hung. It disappeared as he lowered his wand. He seemed to be a trance as he stared at where the white mist had been. She titled her head when she noticed his odd behaviour, “What was your memory of?” When he didn't reply, she continued, "Malfoy?"

He flinched and snapped out of his trance, blinking a few times then looked at Robyn. He answered in quiet voice, “Just something...I can show you, though.” Robyn looked at him in confusion as he stepped toward her so they were but a hairs breath away from each other. Robyn felt heart began to beat rapidly against her chest as she looked up into his entrancing grey eyes. She saw his eyes flick between her eyes and lips then back. She could see him hesitating as he faultered for a few seconds.

Then...he kissed her.

To say Robyn Potter was shocked would have been an understatement. She froze as he stood before her, his lips against hers. Slowly, but surely, Robyn's shoulders dropped as she relaxed and her eyes closed as she allowed her lips to move against his in unison. A hand moved up and cupped the back of her neck, keeping her too him. After a few long moments, Malfoy pulled back and allowed his hand to slip from her neck. She opened her blue eyes and looked up at him, slight dazed.

“We’ve never done that before.” Robyn muttered still slightly out if it and he let out a small laugh as he ran a hand through his white hair,

“That’s what you’re thinking about? We just kissed and you’re asking that?”

“Yeah…” She trailed off sheepishly but slowly as her eyebrows furrowed as her mind collected itself. Then, she jumped backward and clamped her hand over her mouth in horror, “WE JUST KISSED!”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms with a small smirk, “So…?”

“This is bad/” Robyn said, starting pace back and forth, “This is very very bad. It’s wrong. Imagine if this got out! Imagine if Ron or Hermione found out! Harry! If he found out, he’d be so disappointed and betrayed. He’ll hate me!” Robyn’s heart was pounding out of fear and she paced madly, gripping her black hair between her fingers, “I don’t want him to hate me. I can’t survive without my brother."

“Robyn, calm down.” Malfoy said taking a step forward with a worried expression,

“We never kissed, okay!” Robyn exclaimed, ignoring his words, “We’ll go back to hating each other. Actually, there’s no reason to say that we still don’t hate it each other, so we could just act normal."

“Robyn, stop it."

“Harry wont hate me.” Robyn assured herself nervously, “Everything will be fine. I can continue with my studies and have my friends and nothing will be wrong. Perfect. Right, now – “

“ROBYN!” Malfoy boomed and she stopped and at looked at him with a cautious expression. He sighed and breathed as he gripped her shoulders gently, but firmly, “Just stop. Relax. Harry will not hate you if he found out. We haven’t hated each other for the past two years and you know it.” Robyn bit her lip and looked away from him, she didn't want to admit it but it was true. There was less action on Malfoy's part to being mean to her. She looked back at him and took a deep breath and detensed herself, “Okay now?” She nodded slightly. He pushed her gently to sit on the edge of a table and stood between her legs and rubbed her arms gently, “Listen to me, alright. I haven’t hated you since the third year. Frustrated with you, yes, but I don’t hate you." She opened her mouth to ask a question but quickly spoke, "I don't know how or why, before you ask. I just know I like you, Robyn. I cannot forget this kiss." She just stared at him as he stroked her arm with his thumbs, "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to...try us out?”

Robyn gulped and looked down at his proposal, “Malfoy, I – “

“Draco.” He interrupted, “Call me Draco, Robyn. Please."

“Okay, Draco.” Robyn forced out and felt a little weight lift off her shoulders as she said. She locked eyes with him, “I…I just need some time to think about this.”

He nodded, “I understand.” he said and Robyn smiled at him then looked at the time,

22:34

“I should be going to bed.” Robyn commented as she looked back at him and he nodded a little and stepped back. She jumped off the desk and brushed her hair behind her ear as she walked past Draco toward the door. She pulled the down the handle then pulled the door open,

“Hey, Robyn.” She turned to face Draco as he spoke. He was stood in the centre of the room with the moonlight causing a sparkle in his grey eyes, “We have kissed before...Dark places, aren’t they, cupboards."

***

PROCLAMATION

EDUCATIONAL DECREE

No. 98

________________________________________

THOSE WISHING TO JOIN THE

INQUISITORIAL SQUAD

For extra credit

MAY SIGHT UP IN THE

High Inquisitor’s

OFFICE

Robyn looked up at the sign with Ginny beside her. She gulped. Not only would they have Umbridge to avoid, but also their fellow students. She glanced around at the crowd and saw some from Dumbledore's Army looking very worried and a few other students looking very excited about the prospect of extra credit. She spotted Draco in the crowd. He wore a smirk on his pale face as he stood with Crabbe and Goyle eitherside of him, he flicked his gaze to Robyn and winked at her slyly. She blushed and quickly averted her eyes to look at Ginny who was beside her. The two Gryffindor girls walked away talking in hushed whispers,

“Great.” Robyn muttered “Not only have we got Umbridge and Filch but now students are turning against us.”

Ginny nodded a little and whispered, "But its okay. Umbridge wont find us, I'm sure of it."

***

“Expecto Patronum!” Draco attempted with a small wave of his wand and the small wisp of white light came from the wand, he groaned in anger and rubbed his head in frustration. Robyn looked at him pitifully. It had been the two sessions since he'd produced the patronus and when they'd kissed. They seemed to just avoid the topic of 'them'- Robyn had no idea what to think of that situation. She tried to help as she said,

“Look, just really concentrate on your personality and your happiest memory.” Robyn said and she pulled her wand from her pocket and glanced at the bracelet that rested n her wrist and then closed her eyes as thought of the moment she recieved it. She snapped her eyes opened and cried, “Expecto Patronum!” Her beautiful swan burst from her wand and glided around the room before dissapearing when Robyn stopped the charm. Draco nodded and closed his eyes and thought as hard as he could, then yelled,

“Expecto Patronum!”

A tiny creature burst from his wand tip and scampered around the room, leaving a trail of blue mist behind it. Draco opened his eyes and stumbled backward at the sight of his patronus and grimaced, “What is that?” Robyn watched as the tiny creature scampered around her and a small smile graced her face when she recognised it,

Robyn breathed softly, “It’s a prairie vole."

“A what?” Draco asked as the prairie vole ran around his body, “It looks like a rat.”

“It’s a member of the rodent family.” Robyn explained, “They’re known for having large amounts of pride, selfishness, mocks people and are very fond of grooming but are known for being cute and protective of their loved ones."

Robyn bit her lip at the defineat, expression on Draco’s face, “That sounds nothing like me at all.” He patronus disappear and folding his arms,

Robyn raised an eyebrow“I think it’s practically your twin.”

“I am not selfish.” snapped Draco angrily,

“Yes you are.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Can I change my patronus?”

“No.”

“Damn it.” Robyn smirked at his words then looked at the time,

22:32

“I should go.” She said, pocketing her wand, “Harry will be getting worried.”

Draco nodded then looked at her expectantly as he said, “Same time tomorrow?”

She bit her lip then turned to him, “Draco, I’ve already taught you how to produce a partonus. We have no reason for these meets anymore."

“We can just hang out then.” Draco said cooly, “I don’t want it to go back to the way it was before.”

Robyn stared at him as she thought before nodding, "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow Draco."

“Robyn,” She turned to him as she reached the door,

"Yes?"

“Don’t get one the wrong side of Umbridge. Please.” He fixed her with a pinning gaze and she blinked as she thought of the D.A. Robyn bit her lip and nodded a little then rushed to her dorm without a word.

***

Ron, Harry, Robyn and Hermione stood at the last D.A meeting of the term as people would be leaving to their homes for Christmas break. Robyn ran her eyes over the students before her as he brother spoke, “So, that’s it for this lesson. We’re not going to be meeting again until after the holidays.” A collective groan came from the students and a small fond smile formed on Robyn's face, she had quiet enjoyed teaching them. It was fun. “So just keep practicing on your own as best as you can and well done everyone. Great, great work!” Everyone began clapping, along with the four Gryffindors.

“Well done.” Ron muttered to the two Potter’s under his breath,

“Thanks.” The two said in unision. Robyn bid goodbye to a certain few as the students dispersed and filtered out the hall. She hugged goodbye to Ella then looked at her brother and saw Harry’s eyes follow Cho Chang as she headed slowly from her friends and to the notice board, a small smile had its way to her face as she said,

“We’ll see you in the common room, Harry.” He glanced at her and waved a little. Then she, Ron and Hermione walked backward then turned toward doors and left the room, leaving Cho and Harry to have some alone time.

People passed her and patted her on the back and thanking her and she waved them off with a short 'no problem' and 'see you next year. As they ascended the staircase to the entrance Gryffindor common room Ron turned to the other two with a wide grin on his pale face, “Two sickles that kisses her.” He betted.

“Deal. Harry's too much of a chicken to do it."

Thirty minutes later and Harry was back and Robyn was down two sickles. “Well, how was it?” Ron asked from beside Hermione. Robyn was sat in an arm chair looking down at her brother who sat on the floor looking up at them with an innocent expression, fiddling with his wand.

“Wet…I mean, she was sort of crying.” Harry described and Robyn raised an eyebrow and shared a confused look with Hermione.

“That bad at it are you?” Ron joked ,

“I’m sure Harry’s kissing was more than satisfactory!@ Hermione snapped and Robyn looked at her, Harry nodded a little in thanks whilst Ron sniggered.

“Cho spends half her time crying these days." Robyn pointed out, trying to cheer Harry up.

“You’d think a bit of snogging would cheer her up.” Ron grinned and Robyn only rolled her eyes as Hermione said,

“Don’t you understand how she must be feeling? Well, obviously she’s feeling sad about Cedric and, therefore, confused about liking Harry. Guilty for kissing him. Conflicted because Umbridge is threatening to sack her mum from her job at the ministry. Frightened about failing her O.W.L’s because she’s so busy worrying about everything thing else.”

Robyn nodded in agreement, "Its honestly no suprise she was crying Harry. So dont feel bad."

“One person couldn’t feel all that.” Ron protested, “They’d explode."

“Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon.” Hermione reported sharply and Robyn bit her lip and looked between her brother and two friends. Ron’s face broke out into a grin and Hermione began to laugh at her words Robyn let go of her lip it formed smiled and laughed along with her friends.

Even if it was a few seconds, laughing did make everything better.

***

The floor was dark and tinted a glowing green, hissing ran in her ears and she turned her head to the black titled walls beside her to see a snake sliding along where she was.

“Voldemort may be after something…something he didn’t have last time...”

She reached the door and raised herself up to the large door knob and opened it. She slithered down the aisles of orbs following after Mr. Weasley with his back to her and his wand out. The image changed to a thin pale arm that stretched out, it flash to images of fire then a particular glass ball. She slithered along to the floor to Mr. Weasley hissing, he turned and looked down at her. She hissed at him and raised herself up and stuck him with her venomous fangs. He fell to the floor. She struck him again and again until he was shakily on the floor blood dripping from his body and his clothes torn. She raised herself up again and struck his face repeated and Mr. Weasley let out yells of pain and whimpers. She bit him again and Mr. Weasley clutched his hand. She hissed as Mr. Weasley fell on his side.

Robyn shot up with a loud scream and sweat dripping down her face causing her hair to cling to her cheeks and forehead. Her heart pounded against her chest as she stared foreward at the wall opposite, the image of a bleeding Mr. Weasley burned into her mind. She hadn't noticed that her body was shakily violently. Robyn's eyes darted to the door as it slammed open, revealing Hermione and Professor McGonagall standing, staring at her in in complete shock and fear. Robyn’s stared at her head of house as she approached her then pulled the covers off Robyn and pulled her out of bed by her arms with the help of Hermione.

“Come along, Miss Potter.” Professor McGonagall said gently but firmly. Robyn was helped down the steps to the common room by Hermione. Robyn trembled with sweat beading down her head. She could make out Harry and Ron in the common room, and Harry seemed to be in the same state as Robyn. Hermione gripped Robyn’s left arm whilst her right was on Professor McGonagalls, the same with Harry but with Ron. Professor McGonagall led them to the Head Masters office as quickly as she could.

Robyn stood beside Harry in Professor Dumbledore's office. She was no longer shaking but still had dried sweat on her face and neck. To the side, observing the two Potter, was Professor McGonagall, the Weasley children and Hermione standing to the side. The Potter girl looked at Professor Dumbledore as he kept his back to them but yet her spoke to them, "In the dreams where either of you standing next to the victim? Or looking down at the scene?"

“N-Neither." Robyn replied as she stared at her Head Master, noticing that he still havent look at them.

“It…was like we were…” Harry stammered,

“Professor, will you please just tell us what’s happening?” Robyn pleased her voice trembling,

“Everart,” Snapped Professor Dumbledore walking over to a painting, ignoirng her question, “Arthur’s on guard duty tonight. Make sure he’s found by the right people."

“Sir – “ tried Harry,

“Finnius,” Professor Dumbledore turned to another painting, “you must go to your portrait at Grimmauld place. Tell them that Arthur Weasley is gravely injured. Assure them that we will be arriving there soon by port key."

“They’ve got him Ablus." A wizened voice said and Robyn’s throat worked tightly as she looked over at Everart, “It was close, but they think he can make it. Once more, the dark lord failed to require it.” He looked over the two without making eye contact, he was definatly avoiding them.

Robyn felt a surge of anger run through her veins and she shouted, “Look at us!” Robyn and Harry bellowed loudly. Her chest chests heaved strongly as she stared at him, the anger slowly fading from her eyes and replaced with sadness.

“What’s happening to us?” Harry begged but no one answered as all stared at him and Robyn. She let out a small whimper and gripped her hair tightly.

“You wished to see me.” Robyn turned to see Professor Snape standing behind them with his greasy eyes staring at them,

“Yes, Severus.” Robyn felt her heart drop as Professor Dumbledore spoke only to Severus, “I’m afraid we cant wait. Not even until the morning. Otherwise…we’ll be vulnerable."

***

“It appears there is a connection between the dark lords mind and both your own.” Professor Snape drawled down at them with a blank expression. Robyn looked up at him from her seat that was in the centre of Professor Snape's office. “Whether he is aware of his connection is currently unclear. Pray he remains ignorant.” Robyn’s shirt was drenched in sweat as she watched Professor Snape pulled out a few things from his shelves.

“And…I-If he knows about it then…” Harry trailed off shakily but Robyn was there to pick up for him,

“...He’ll be a-able to read our minds.”

“Read it.” Stated Snape, “Control it.” He spun around to face them, “Un-hinge it. In the past it was often the dark lords pleasure to invade the minds of his victims creating visions of desire to torture them into madness. Only extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only when they had them begging for death would he finally kill them.” Robyn stared up at her potions master as he stood before them, “Used properly, the power of occlumency will have you shield from access or implements. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your minds. You both will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself.”

Robyn’s hands began to shake and she saw Snape raise his wand and pointed it between the two students, “Legilimens."

Robyn was thrown into flashes of flying to Grimmauld place, the dementors, Hermione and Ron, meetings with Draco, D.A lessons, kissing Draco, Dudley in the park, shouts about her mother, the corridor and Voldemort at the train station. She screamed in and thrashed in the chair as she tried to focus on pushing Snape from her mind.