His runaway mate

Katy

Cole arrives at the station a few minutes after me. When I stopped at the station and got out of my car only to get back in a second later. The last thing I have had on my mind since waking up a while ago is the clothes I have on. I only have a shirt on and the same pair of underwear as yesterday. Thank goodness I had my underwear on. I also didn’t stop consider who cleaned off the blood from me. If my memory is correct, there was a lot of blood to be cleaned up.

My son gave me a strange look, probably wondering why I haven’t gotten out of the car. Where we come from, we had people that filled your car up for you at the gas station, here you had to do it yourself. There was no way I am standing outside to fill up my car in only a shirt, it doesn’t matter that it hangs on me like a dress, it was still very inappropriate. “Can you give me my bag please, son. I am a bit underdressed.” I asked Cole when he got to my window.

“I don’t understand. Are we running away from your one nightstand? We really need to work on your taste of men mom.” Cole says before laughing and walking away to get my bag from his car.

“It’s not like that!” I scream at him. How he can be joking in a time like this, I have no idea. He always tries to find the humor in everything. I think it is his way to handle his emotions. I love that he is always giving me a reason to smile, even when I feel like I will never smile again. He really is the best son a mother can ask for.

Cole hands me the bag and I quickly get out a clean set of underwear and a pair of shorts. I can smell Jackson on the shirt and don’t want to take it off just yet. I tuck the front of the shirt into my shorts and let the back hang out. The moment I get out of the car and Cole get a clear look at me, his eyes go wide and his face a little pale. He reaches a shaking hand to my neck and I hiss at the slight pain I feel when he touches my skin there. “What did this to you? When did this happen? I haven’t seen this scar before, it is still slightly red and swollen so I know it must have been a month or so ago, but I would’ve seen it before. You would’ve had to be in the hospital for a wound like that. What is going on mom?” Cole asks. I know I need to give him answers, but now is not the time or place.

“I will explain to you later, but not here and not now. Fill up your car, we are going to Idaho. We need to withdraw all our money and only work with cash from here on out.” I can’t take any chances. This is what we do every time we are on the run. I might not be able to afford to change our identities again and move to a different country, but we know how to keep under the radar.

It takes us ten minutes to fill up with gas and to run to the ATM. The moment we are on the road I feel more relaxed and take a second to look in the mirror. The scar on my neck is huge and ugly, there will be no way to cover it up unless I feel like dying in the summer heat by wearing a scarf everywhere I go. “You shouldn’t hide it. You should be proud to wear our mates mark.” My wolf says.

“Clearly you don’t understand human 101 little wolf. I might wear this scar with pride to show that I have survived the unthinkable, but it will never be seen by others as beautiful. No one will ever know it was placed there to show a mates mark, people that see it will either feel sorry for me or disgusted by the sight of it.” I say out loud. Thankfully Cole is in his own car or he might have thought I had gone crazy. I can only hope he understands and accept what I have become now. I don’t want him to feel scared of me. I will have to explain to him tonight, he will be asking questions and by the amount of time he will have now to make up his own explanations for what is happening, he will be asking a lot of questions.

We drive a fast as the speed limit will allow us and we only stop twice on our way. By the time we stop in the first motel we could find in Idaho, it is dark outside and we are both exhausted. I got us a room with two beds and headed for the shower as soon as we walked in. I remove my clothes and stare at myself in the mirror trying to figure out what has changed about me since the change.

My body looks slightly more toned, but not much. My scars are still there, and I have more than enough, the one on my neck is just the only one that is visible with my clothes on. My senses are more heightened, my hearing is incredibly and I can see much better at night. I will have to get use to the smell, I thought my sense of smell was amazing when I was pregnant, but this is overwhelming. My blue eyes now have a golden ring around the iris that I assume is thanks to my wolf. I wonder what she looks like, if she will be as big as Jackson’s wolf or smaller. What color she will be and if her fur will be soft.

I take a quick shower and wash my hair that still has some dried blood in it. I feel a lot better once I am clean and dressed. I really want to put Jackson’s shirt back on just to have a part of him close to me. My wolf already misses him and a part of me does as well. Did I do the right thing by running from him? Is he going to be alright? Will he give up on me and find someone else? Can he even find someone else? I know this isn’t like human relationships if the longing I am feeling for him is anything to go by. There is a hole in my chest that I know only he can fill. Will I feel this forever? Will I ever be able to let him go and forget about him?

“I understand that you need our pup, I felt your pain at the thought of losing him, but I hope you realize what you will be putting all of us through. Our pain has just begun.” My wolf says before I feel her withdrawing from my mind as if to lick her wounds. I guess she is right in calling Cole ours, she is a part of me now after all. I will need to consider all our options and make sure I am doing what is right for all of us. I just need time to figure out what I am willing to live without.

“We need to talk. I need explanations before I drive myself crazy with my own ideas.” Cole says the moment I step out of the bathroom. There is no avoiding this conversation. I would rather it happened sooner than later.

I sit down on my bed facing Cole and start at the last phone call we had. By the time I am finished, Cole gets up and starts pacing the room. I get rather worried when ten minutes passes and he doesn’t say a thing, but I know I need to give him time to process everything. It is all still a shock to me and if we were normal, he might not have believed me, but we have been through a lot and he knows I wouldn’t just make up something like this.

After another ten minutes, Cole finally looks up at me. “Have you turned yet? Can you control your wolf? What will happen if you stay away from your mate for too long?”

“I haven’t turned into my wolf yet. I was planning on doing that when we are closer to the forest. I haven’t lost control of her yet so I assume so far I can. I don’t know what will happen if I stay away from him for too long.” I answer all his questions, knowing there is more to come.

“Why did you run away? Why not just tell him the truth about who we really are?” He asks the question I know I won’t be able to answer with complete honesty.

“Because, I can’t stand the thought of losing you. It is my job to keep you safe! The last place we need to be is a pack full of wolves that doesn’t want humans to know that they exist and you my son, is still very much human.” I can’t tell him it is because I am not planning on out living him. He will be dragging us all the way back to Jackson. No one will truly understand how much I need my son. No one will be able to understand why I refuse to live without him. Perhaps other mothers feel the same about their children. I know no parent want to live without their children. Knowing that I won’t be dying of old age, knowing my son is so much more fragile than I am, makes my fear of someday losing him very real.

“We run then and hope he gives up looking for you?” Cole asks after a few seconds.

“I don’t know.” I say honestly. If my wolf is correct and the pain of being away from him gets worse, I might not have a choice but to go back to Jackson. “Just give me time to figure this out.”

“Alright, let us get some rest and then get you somewhere close to the forest. I really want to see what your wolf looks like.” Cole says, giving me a kiss on the cheek before getting into bed.

It took me a while to fall asleep and when I did, Jackson was waiting for me in my dreams.