It ends where it all started
754 Words
"okay lang yan, may susunod pa" tinapik tapik ni Talia ang likod ko.
I couldn't make it. I couldn't pass.
"just try and try and try and try. At least nagtry ka" she continues to pat my back.
We're at her condo and I'm hear sobbing for hours.
How can I face my Mom?
"I know your comfort food, just wait for me here. Huwag kang aalis, huwag kang uuwi" she said.
I didn't respond, narinig ko naman siyang lumabas ng condo niya.
Ilang minuto pa at tumahan na din ako. Tumayo na ako at humarap sa salamin.
"you did well, Sol" I whispered to myself.
I fixed myself.
Marami pang chances, marami pa.
Everytime ako ay umiiyak, I always stand of my knees after.
Walang ibang mag-aayos sarili ko kundi ako.
As I fixed myself, I fixed my appearance — my hairstyle, my outfit, and my make-up.
I love dolling myself up, it makes me feel like I am not a loser.
Ilang minuto lang at bumalik na si Talia. May dala siyang ice cream.
She gave me one, made me sit on top of her bed and faced me.
"sa susunod, tell me if you're reviewing, I can hatid sundo you okay" she said and took a bite at her ice cream. Yes, she just bit her ice cream.
"thank you" I just mouthed.
She winked at me "you're welcome"
We had chika time and constantly, my heart became happy. Like, feeling ko nawala yung mga problema ko.
"girl diba like sino siya para sabihan na isa akong panget" dagdag pa ni Talia sa chismis niya.
Napatawa nalang ako.
"We all have so many things to worry about in life
But you know, we are young & wild
Enjoy, and feel special
Because there’s nothing stopping us"
Talagang pinatapos ko ang ringtone ko before ko pa sagutin ang tawag. Tinawanan naman ako ni Talia.
I looked at my phone and it's James, my boyfriend.
"hello" I said with a cracked voice.
[usap tayo] he replied. I looked at Talia and I excused myself.
Lumabas ako at nagpunta ng terrace.
"uhm, we are already talking?" I said.
I can hear loud sounds from the other line, where is he actually?
[no, I mean sa personal] he sounded so depressed. Did something happened?
"okay, text me the place" I replied. And with that, biglang lumakas ang t***k ng puso ko. Bigla akong kinabahan without any reasons.
--
"I'm here" sabi ko sa kabilang linya. I held my phone closer to my ear, I'm talking to James over the phone.
I'm already at the park where James told me to go, dito na daw kami magkita.
[stay there] he just said.
Napakaingay sa linya niya, lumingon lingon ako at wala akong nakitang James, kahit anino niya wala.
Umupo nalang ako sa bench at pinagmasdan ang buong paligid. This park is very significant to me, to us.
This was where we first met.
And almost every memory which we shared together is from here or involves this.
It is a cloudy afternoon. Ako nga lang ang nandito sa park but I'm not scared, this has become my comfort zone.
[Solene, listen] he said.
Tumingin ako sa paligid, wala parin si James.
[I'm sorry] he added.
"what's going on?" I asked while still holding the phone.
[listen first please] he cut me off.
I just nodded. I leaned as my heart beats much more than ever. I'm too nervous.
[I'm sorry kung tatapusin ko ito nang ganito. Mahal kita, Solene. Pero pasensya, mas mahal ko siya] sabi niya sa kabilang linya.
I am too stunned.
[I met her a year ago, I met you 7 years ago. You make my heart go wild, she can make my heart feel at ease. Everytime I look at you, I can see how beautiful you are. But everytime I look at her, I can see my world. Thank you for all the love. We have reached the road so I think its the best for us to separate our ways. Thank you Solene. Salamat Solene Alcantara]
And then, he ended the call.
I want to cry. I really want to cry but I feel like there are no tears anymore.
I've cried enough already.
I feel numb.
Wala na akong maramdaman.
Alam ko masakit yung nangyari pero parang hindi ko na ramdam.
I stood up. I got on my feet and walked away.
This is the place where our relationship started and this is also the place where it ended.
- Writer
