Restart with a Stranger

Chapter 3: Emotional Outlet

Ava couldn’t quite explain it. The more she talked to Liam, the more she realized how much she had bottled up over the years. Somehow, texting this stranger without prior knowledge of her life made her feel safer than she had felt in a long time. With him, she didn’t have to pretend or hold back the swirling emotions she had tried so hard to suppress.

She sat in bed, staring at the faint glow of her phone in the room's dim light. She typed a message, her fingers trembling slightly as she hesitated, but then she hit “send.”

Ava: Do you ever feel... I don’t know. Are you entirely alone, even when people surround you?

The response came almost instantly, as if Liam had been waiting, too.

Liam: All the time. Even when I was still married, I felt that way.

Ava: Same. I always thought marriage meant you’d never feel lonely again. But there were so many nights when I’d lie next to him, and it felt like we were worlds apart.

Liam: Yeah. It’s weird. Being with someone but feeling like you’re the only person in the room.

Ava sighed long, surprised at the weight those words carried. How had she lived with that feeling for so long? She spent nights hoping Michael would turn to her, touch her hand, and ask her how she was doing. But the distance between them had grown, a silent chasm neither knew how to cross.

She recalled the early days of their marriage when they had been so connected and in sync. The long walks they used to take, the late-night talks about their dreams and future—it felt like a lifetime ago. And now, it was gone—just memories she barely recognized.

Liam: I used to think it was my fault. Maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough to keep us close.

Ava: Me too. But now I realize it takes two people to hold things together.

Liam: Exactly. I was always the one making compromises, but after a while, I got tired. Tired of being the only one fighting.

Ava felt a pang of sadness, recognizing herself in Liam’s words. She had spent so long trying to fix things and make her marriage work, but she couldn’t do it alone. Sometimes, she felt like she was drowning, sinking under the weight of her efforts, while Michael seemed oblivious to the strain. She had thought it was her responsibility to keep them afloat. But eventually, she let go, and they both went under.

She typed again, the vulnerability in her words a little more substantial this time.

Ava: I wish I had left sooner. It would have hurt less.

Liam: I know that feeling too well. But it’s hard to walk away significantly when you’ve invested so much time.

Ava: Yeah. Sometimes, I wonder if I stayed because I was too afraid to start over. Too scared to be alone.

She didn’t admit this to anyone, not even her closest friends. But Liam was different. With him, she could say the things she kept hidden, the raw thoughts she buried deep inside. It felt liberating to share these pieces of herself, pieces she didn’t even realize she was holding onto.

Her phone buzzed again, pulling her from her thoughts.

Liam: Starting over is terrifying. But being alone… well, sometimes I think it’s better than being with the wrong person.

Ava: You’re right. Loneliness is easier to manage when you’re not constantly reminded of what you’re missing.

Liam: Exactly. At least when you’re alone, you don’t have to pretend everything’s okay.

Ava rested her head against the headboard, the warmth of his words washing over her. She had spent so much time pretending that she was happy, that her marriage wasn’t falling apart, and that she was strong enough to keep it all together. But with Liam, she didn’t have to pretend anymore. He understood her pain in a way no one else did, making her feel... less alone.

Ava: Do you ever miss it, though? Having someone next to you, I mean.

Liam: Sometimes. But not the way I thought I would.

Ava: What do you mean?

Liam: I thought I’d miss having someone around. But what I miss is the connection. Feeling close to someone, being understood. Not just physically but emotionally.

Ava stared at the message for a long time. That was exactly what she missed, too. The deep emotional connection had been absent for so long in her marriage. She hadn’t realized how much she craved it until now.

She thought about how strange it was that she was finding that connection with Liam, someone she had never met in person. How could this anonymous man, someone she knew so little about, understand her on a level that her own husband never had?

She typed slowly, her words careful and deliberate.

Ava: I think that’s why I stayed as long as I did. I was holding on to hoping we’d find that connection again.

Liam: It’s hard to let go of that hope. But sometimes, holding on hurts more than letting go.

Ava closed her eyes, feeling the truth of his words settle in. She had held on for far too long, hoping for something that would never come. And now, in this strange new chapter of her life, she was learning to let go.

Her phone buzzed one last time before she drifted off to sleep.

Liam: We’ll get through this. We need to take it one day at a time.

Ava smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. She didn't feel so alone for the first time in a long while.