Bipolar Attractions

20.

PRESENT.

The same feeling of hopelessness which I felt eight years ago begin to surround itself around me. The feeling of guilt, trapped inside my chest, as all I can do is resume my Mantra, one which I haven’t used in years now.

“It’s not your fault Laura,” I begin to talk to myself outside the ward of the emergency room, until my phone rings out, taking me out of my trance, seeing Allen call me.

“We’re at the hospital, where are you?” Allen’s voice comes immediately as I pick the call.

“Tell them the emergency ward.” My voice comes dry, as it doesn’t take five minutes before I see Allen and Steve coming towards me.

“How is she?” Steve asks me the moment he reaches me.

“I don’t know…I don’t know…they took her in and haven’t come out yet.” I tell the two of them, while I run a hand through my hair.

“If I know anyone who can pull this through, I know it Jen. I have faith and we should too.” Allen says as I can only nod my head. “Does Alex know yet?” Allen asks.

“No…I haven’t told him,” I close my eyes trying to compose myself with the rush of emotions that battle me, with what I’m going to say to Alex. “I’ll call him.” I open my eyes, earning a nod from my two colleagues before I dial Alex’s number and it rings.

“Hey Laura, how are you?” Alex’s voice comes through the phone as he picks up cheerfully, yet, all I can do is remain silent and not able to answer his question. “Laura are you there?” Alex asks again.

“It’s Jen…I…”

“Jen? What happened to Jennifer?” Alex voice switches, as it becomes solemn while I hear his movements stop at the background.

“She got shot.” Is all I can respond, while I hear Alex go silent for a while.

“Where are you? Where is she?” I begin to hear the pain and fear in Alex voice as he speaks, one which I can vividly relate to as that gets my eyes to tear up, and for the first time, Allen and Steve watch in horror of a tear descending my eyes.

“I…um…we’re at the hospital. Finland hospital. Emergency ward.” I tell Alex on the phone, as that is all he needs to know before he hangs up, and I feel myself being pulled by Steve into an embrace.

“I know how much she means to you and means to all of us, which is why I want us to have hope that she will be fine. She will make it.” Steve says as that doesn’t stop my pain, but rather increase it, while my lips stay mute but my eyes water out in pain.

That’s what I thought with Ryan too. I believed he would make it, but he didn’t.

I collect myself, getting out of Steve’s embrace, and I resume my hard on gaze on feigning strength. “I’m fine, you two don’t need to worry about me. And erase any memory of what you just saw from me.” I glare at the two men in front of me, while they let out a small smile.

I feel my phone begin to vibrate again, while my gaze goes wide seeing an unusual caller ID at my screen, from my second encrypted line.

“I’ll be right back.” I take my leave from Allen and Steve, going down distance from them, while I pick the call.

“Hello Aurora,” Romeo’s voice comes through the phone.

“Hello Romeo.” I feign my voice to have strength, yet, even I know I fail.

“Are you alright? Your voice doesn’t sound…”

“I’m fine Romeo. Do you need anything?” I cut Romeo off abruptly.

“Not certainly.” Romeo answers, as I figure out his hesitance of words. “I apologize for the other day, if I did come off on the wrong foot. Can we perhaps, do it again, whereby, I ask you to a proper dinner with me?” Romeo goes straight to the point. On a normal day I would have laughed at his woeful attempt to be sweet, but this isn’t a normal day, and my mood is shitty as hell.

“This is very bad timing Romeo, but I’m certain we can work something out soon. I am scheduled for the week, which is why I haven’t been able to visit Felicity yet.” I tell Romeo still feigning strength on my lies.

“You are the first woman to ever turn down a dinner with me Aurora Fisher.” Romeo speaks, as I imagine a smirk on his lips.

“Well get used to it Romeo, for I have told you, I am not like other women.” My voice strong this time around. Truthfully if Jen wasn’t shot and hospitalized, with no Information to know if she would make it or not, I would have accepted Romeo’s dinner, as it would be a good plan to get information out of him.

“Oh I am coming to know that very well now, Aurora.” Romeo says through the phone. “But, do not also forget that I am a man whom gets whatever he wants.” Romeo adds.

“I see. That’s why you have never met me before, until now. Don’t make this a game Romeo, cause I always win when I want to.” I tell Romeo efficiently.

“Now you make me look like a bad man Aurora. You are worth more than something to bet on, which is why, I will await your response for my request.” Romeo says and I find myself having a little smile creep on my lips.

“I have to go now Romeo. Send a regard to Felicity for me.” I speak to Romeo, as I don’t wait for him to give me a response when I end the call.

I sigh out deeply, as with all I’m beginning to process in my head and the recent happenings with Jen, I find myself slipping out more than I should. One which I shouldn’t be.

I dial out a number which I haven’t seen in five years, as my heart begins to race faster hearing it ring.

“Laura! How are you doing? It’s been what? Five years?” His voice comes from through the phone as my throat process a hard gulp.

“Hello Dr Milan, I need to make an appointment.”