Sulleimani, Sirius Jaxon (Book 2 of His Serenity)

Chapter 13

“Jaxon!” 

I pushed him hard and away from me as I could. Hindi ako makapaniwalang tumitig sa kanya. Ngunit tila wala lang sa kanya ang ginawa. He stared down at me with hood eyes and parted lips. Umatras naman siya nang itulak ko ngunit nagbalak din ulit na sunggaban ako kaya muli kong itinulak. He glanced down at my hands against his chest in bewilderment. 

“What did you do?” I screamed in disappointment and frustration. “Bakit mo ‘yon ginagawa?”

Pinanood niya ang reaksyon ko. Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Ilang segundo pa ang kinailangan niya bago naproseso ang dahilan ng galit ko. Nanliit ang mga mata niya. 

“Ano’ng mali sa ginawa ko? What’s wrong if I―”

“Jaxon!” muling sigaw ko upang mapatigil siya. Para akong mababaliw at kahit ilang ulit na ipilig ang ulo ay hindi nawawala ang pagkaligalig ko. If this is not a dream, then I want it to be. 

This is not simply the kiss. This is… 

“You have a girlfriend,” I added to make him realize what he just did. “Hindi mo dapat ito ginagawa. Hindi mo dapat ginagawa ito sa kanya kung talagang mahal mo siya.”

“What do you even know?”

“What?” takang tanong ko at sandaling natigilan. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luhang lumandas sa aking mukha gamit ang likod ng palad. I don't know what the tears are for. I felt overwhelmed. I was lying if I said I felt nothing about the kiss. But that’s where all the wrong lies. 

Hindi dapat.  

His eyes were menacing as he continued to watch me in distraught. Nangungusap ang mga mata niya nang diretso akong titigan. Hindi naman niya ipinaliwanag ang ibig sabihin. Hindi ko rin kaya na tumagal pa roon. Pakiramdam ko ay may nagawa akong malaking kasalanan. 

“Serenity!” he called after me but I continued to run out of his cabin and into the beach. Muli niya akong tinawag at sa takot na sundan niya ako sa bahay ay huminto ako. He was standing there outside his cabin with a distorted expression. Tila gusto akong sundan ngunit pinipigilan ang sarili. I was grateful for that effort. Nagpatuloy ako nang masigurong hindi na nga siya susunod. 

I don’t want my dad to witness another argument between us again. Maswerte kami na kahit papaano ay hindi nag-usisa si daddy. But he will have doubts soon. Magkakaroon siya ng katanungan kung magpapatuloy na ganito ang sitwasyon. 

I don’t want to put his health at risk. 

Palapit ako sa bahay ay muling umalingawngaw ang pangalan ko. I heard it again before I got inside and closed the glass door. 

Sa kusina ako dumiretso para uminom ng tubig. Nanginginig pa ang kamay ko habang inalala ang halik. I wasn’t honestly purposely thinking about it. It just keeps replaying in my head and the more I think of it, the worse I feel for it. 

It has always been him who had even and could kiss me that way. Aminado ako na halos wala iyong pinagkaiba sa unang halik namin. After ten years, it was amazing to realize that. But the fact that he has a girlfriend made all the feelings wrong. 

Hindi ko namalayan na tatlong baso na ng tubig ang naubos ko dahil sa lalim ng iniisip. Ilang minuto lang ay naikalma ko rin naman ang sarili kahit papaano. I went out of the kitchen, and in the living room was a surprise waiting for me. 

I was frozen in my tracks. Ilang beses akong napakurap habng pilit pinoproseso ang nasa harapan. 

“Seyer,” I muttered to myself. It wasn’t his presence here that really caught me off guard. It was Sirius who was standing behind him. With his annoyed expression, it looked like he had quickened his face to keep with Seyer and followed him here. The expressions embedded on their faces were a contrast to one another. 

Malaki ang ngiti ni Seyer nang lumabas ako. Si Sirius naman ay lukot ang mukha. When our visitor walked to me with glee, I had to force myself to move and approach him before Sirius got to him. Hindi ko malaman kung bakit tila gusto niyang pigilan si Seyer sa paglapit gayong bisita namin siya. Whether he knows him or not, hindi dapat ganoon ang trato niya. 

Mabuti na lang na mukhang hindi naman puna ni Seyer ang reaksyon niya. 

“I heard you retire,” pambungad ni Seyer bago pumulupot sa akin ang mga braso niya. His familiar scent gets to my nostrils. Humalo ang alat ng tubig-dagat sa kanyang suot na jacket. 

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Sirius taking urgent steps towards us. Pinigilan ko iyon sa pamamagitan ng pag-iiwas sa bisig ni Seyer. 

“Y-You’re here,” kinakabahang bati ko. Wala akong ginagawang masama pero ang tingin ni Sirius, parang siya ang may gagawing masama. Nang nagtama nga ang pangingin namin ay naramdaman ko na lang ang pag-init ng aking pisngi. Flashback of our kiss earlier was on my mind. I have to remind myself it was him who initiated it and not me. Sa aming dalawa ay siya dapat ang nakakaramdam ng hiya dahil sa ginawa. Hindi ako. 

“Yup. I was calling you earlier but you were running like crazy. Ayaw mo bang nandito ako?”

“What?” Kung ganoon ay siya ang tumatawag sa akin bago ako nakapasok? 

“I heard you retire,” he continued. Hindi niya puna ang pag-iwas ko. His heavy arm rested over my shoulders. It almost weighed me down because of the weight and embarrassment. Muli ay sinubukan ko iyong alisin sa akin. 

Seyer attempted to drag me somewhere in the house. Dahil doon ay nasa likuran na namin si Sirius. Hindi na kita ang reaksyon niya pero damang-dama ko ang talim ng mga titig niya sa aking likod. I wonder why Seyer was unaware of it. Or how long he would be clueless about it. 

Umatras ako mula kay Seyer at hinarap siya upang maharap din si Sirius. Seyer continued to chuckle. This is getting a lot awkward. 

“Retire? You’re crazy?” I forced a laugh but it came out a little shaky. And it was way obvious. 

“What about you? You’re crazy for staying here. You should stay with me. I’m sure your dad will love that idea.” Muli niyang ipinatong ang braso sa aking balikat. I surrendered in defeat. This is a normal thing between us. Bakit nga ba ako iiwas kung nasa harapan namin si Sirius? It’s not like we’re doing something wrong. 

“My dad will not,” I complained as he dragged me further inside the house. 

“What? You really lost all your employees?” puna niya habang nililibot ang paligid. Hindi naman nakapagtataka na mapansin niya iyon. Anyone who is used to go here will notice it. Sa labas pa lang ay kapansin-pansin na ang pagkawala ng noon ay palakad-lakad na mga kalalakihan. 

“It’s not…”

“It’s your decision, don’t deny it.” He pushed my head closer to him and playfully pinched my cheek. “The men are working for our agency, remember? I’m now the vice president so I should know… I made you a favor. I told the men not to tell my dad or you’ll be doomed.”

That’s right. Naisipan ko na ring tawagan siya tungkol dito pero mahirap naman siyang ma-contact. Noong isang beses na tumawag ay hindi pa kami nagkaintindihan. I’m glad he did it without knowing my reason why. “I…” 

“You will never choose me.” 

“I saved you!” he exclaimed. Huminto kami sa tapat ng malaking sofa. Pabagsak siyang naupo roon at dahil nakapulupot sa akin ay nakatangay ako. I suppressed the urge for a shriek. Naglaho din naman iyon nang magtamang muli ang mga tingin namin ni Sirius. 

He remained where he was standing like a statue. But unlike any ordinary statue, every detail of him was perfectly designed. His hard muscles and chiseled bones. 

“Where’s Tito? Ayos lang ba kayo rito?” tanong ni Seyer na sa wakas ay bumitaw na rin sa pagkakayakap sa akin. He looked around once more as if taking notice of any changes but found none. Then his eyes landed to unmoving and almost unblinking Sirius. “Can you call him?” utos niya nang hindi pa rin gumagalaw. Our employees would simply get the hint and move to call my dad. 

Sa pagkunot pa lang ng noo ni Sirius ay naalarma na ako. I stood from my seat. “A-Ako na ang tatawag.”

Ngunit maging si Seyer ay nagsalubong ang kilay sa akin. He looked up at me like I’ve grown an extra arm. Nagbalik-balik ang tingin niya sa amin ni Sirius bago nagtaas ng kilay. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to my seat. 

“Why? Don’t tell me you’ve been doing stuff here because you cut off your employees?” He turned back to Sirius. “He doesn’t look familiar. Ang sabi ay mag-iiwan si Tito ng isang tauhan para may makasama kayo rito… What’s your name again?”

“SJ,” I quickly answered for him. Sa bumakas sa kanilang mga mukha ay alam kong parehong hindi nila nagustuhan ang ginawa ko. I kept my eyes on Seyer. “He’s SJ. Dad trusts him, but please, don’t talk about it with him.”

Seyer has a skeptic look. Muli niyang pinasadahan si Sirius bago marahang tumango sa akin. “I trust Tito, too… Can you inform him I’m here?”

Hindi ko na magawang magprisinta. I closed my eyes and lowered my head to the floor. Maiintindihan ko kung hindi iyon sundin ni Sirius. Pero umaasa ako na huwag ngayon at sa harap pa ni Seyer. If he sees him as a threat, sigurado na hindi na namin kailangang mag decide ni daddy. Tiyak na siya mismo ang magpapabalik sa mga tauhan namin dito. Worse if he includes Uncle Steve here. Disaster if my father finds out everything about Sirius. 

I didn’t hear him answer. Narinig ko lang ang mararahan niyang yabag nang nagtungo sa hallway kung nasaan ang silid ni daddy. I watched him retreating back with wide eyes. 

“What’s wrong? You look surprised to see him actually obliging to an order,” puna ni Seyer at ginulo ang buhok ko. Umiwas ako at kinunot ang noo upang maalis ang anumang bumabakas sa aking mukha. But he tilted his head and intently watched my face. “Something’s strange. May problema ba?”

Umiwas ako ng tingin. “Wala akong problema. Ikaw? Bakit ka nagtatago dito?”

Noong una ay ayaw niyang pakawalan ang bawat reaksyon ko. Nang mapagtanto ang tanong ko ay mabilis na umalingawngaw ang paghagalpak niya. I watched him in awe. Hearing it somehow calmed my nerves. 

Always the Seyer I know. 

“Pa’no mo ‘yon nalaman? You know me all too well, huh?” Tila mangha siya gayong wala namang nakakamangha. Madalang siyang bumisita sa amin nang mag-isa kahit pa noong nasa ibang bansa kami. But if he did, it was usually because he was running from something or someone. Madalas ay si Uncle Steve ang someone. 

“I actually have a feeling you’ll be here after your call. Ano na naman ang nangyari?”

Lumakas ang pagtawa niya nang umirap ako. Sa likuran niya ay tanaw ko ang paglabas nila daddy kaya tipid ako umupo. “I won’t tell you. For sure, isusuplong mo na naman ako kay daddy.” Umiling siya sa sarili. Sinubukan niya akong abutin bago sinundan ang tingin ko. Tinigilan niya ako at tumayo upang batiin si daddy. 

Seyer was always the typical playboy. Hindi lang sa babae kundi sa lahat ng bagay. He was once a curious kid. Palaging mayroon sinasabi. Ngunit nadiskubre yata niya lahat ng gustong malaman sa murang edad kaya ngayon ay puro paglalaro na lang ang ginagawa. 

I heard the position as vice president was given to him to keep him from messing around. I don’t know how much he has changed since then. Sa ngayon ay wala pa akong nakikitang pagbabago. 

“Tito,” magalang na tawag niya rito. I saw his will to help dad with his seat. Ngunit kagaya ko ay hindi ginawa. Alam niya na ayaw ni daddy nang ganoon. Uncle Steve and their friends are aware of it, too. We all respect it. Kung minsan lang ay hindi ko maiwasang gustuhing tulungan siya. 

Nang makaupo si daddy ay tumalikod naman si Sirius para sa kusina. I’m not sure why, but I think he’s there to get a snack. Tiyak na nautusan ni daddy kung hindi man kusang-gawa. 

“How’s your dad?” tanong ni daddy upang simulan ang usapan. 

“Always doing fine and it’s boring,” was Seyer’s expected answer. Marahang natawa sa kanya si daddy. Inirapan ko naman siya nang lingunin ako. “I think there’s something wrong with this lady here. Don’t you think, Tito?”

“W-What do you mean?” Umahon kaagad ang kaba sa aking dibdib. Lalo na nang kumunot ang noo ni daddy sa sinabi niya. 

“You should move on from your ex-fiance. He literally walked out on you. You should find yourself a new guy.”

I glared at him but he chuckled, thinking I was warning him because of my dad. Wala siyang kaalam-alam na pabalik na si Sirius dala ang meryenda namin. 

“What’s wrong with you? You’re becoming grumpy because you’re single?”

“S-Seyer!”

Ngunit maging si daddy ay dinamayan ang pagtawa niya. I glanced at Sirius and I wished he didn’t think I like where the conversation was going. Subalit habang tumatagal ang titigan namin ay muling nanunumbalik ang pag-init ng pisngi ko dahil sa nangyari sa kubo. 

I looked away and glared at Seyer as he pulled me back to him and messed with my hair.