Bedroom Hymns

Chapter 4: Right Where You Left Me

*Three Years Earlier*

Contrary to popular opinion, Kate didn't dislike Mondays. She had her Music Application and Theory class that day which she enjoyed while learning a lot. They served lasagna and fruit salad in the dining hall for lunch. And she got to have her private viola lesson with Professor Darby after.

There was also the fact that Theo was in his fourth year at Nimue and was busiest on Mondays. Kate was relieved to know there was less of a chance of her running into him around campus. She had studied the grimoire he gave her and there were certain things she wanted clarification on about the bonding ritual. She also didn't want to talk to him for as long as she could avoid it.

Kate was enjoying her lunch, skimming over her class notes when Veronica Frost dropped into the other seat at her table. Kate nearly dropped her fork and stared at the other girl in disbelief. There was no reason for Veronica to be there as she didn't live in the same dorms. The students who called Rhiannon their home were usually the artists, musicians, and everything in between.

Veronica was majoring in Magical Law. She was severely out of place there with her preppy clothes and slick hair. Most students at Rhiannon wore paint-splattered clothes and carried instruments like their children. Kate wore oversized sweaters and was never seen without her viola in hand.

"Hello, Katie," Veronica greeted her with a too-sweet smile. "How are you?"

Kate stared at the brunette warily. "I'm fine."

"That's good to know. I'm also doing well," Veronica continued as if Kate asked. "I just thought we should have a chat about a mutual activity we're going to be participating in."

It took Kate a second to understand what Veronica was referring to. "Do you mean the ritual?"

Veronica looked around the dining hall to see if anyone was paying them attention. When she was satisfied that no one was snooping, she replied, "I heard you've been avoiding Theo."

"I have not," she refuted. "We just haven't had the chance to talk again."

"It's hard for him to talk to you when you disappear as soon as you catch sight of him."

"I…"

Kate closed her mouth, trying to come up with a better excuse than "I didn't want to talk to him". She couldn't find one.

"Look, Katie," Veronica said, leaning forward on the table. "I know that Theo can be overbearing and he basically proposed to you with all the romance of a dead fish but he's not a bad person."

Kate didn't say anything and let the other girl continue.

"He's actually one of the best people I know. You could do a lot worse than end up bound to him for the rest of your life."

Kate's misgiving was more on the fact he didn't choose her for the ritual because he wanted her. He chose her because she would give him the highest rate of success for surviving the blood curse. If he was never sick and he didn't have to essentially get married so young, he would be dating girls like Audrey Quinn. Kate would have continued to be in the background of his life like a passerby.

It had been the same with Veronica for the last four years and now she had the nerve to try and meddle with Kate's life.

"You know you don't have to advocate for your brother," Kate said. "I wasn't going to let him die out of spite."

Veronica's smile was relieved and genuine. "I knew you wouldn't turn him down."

Kate didn't know what that meant.

"And why is that?"

"Because I know you," Veronica replied. "You were always a bleeding heart. You used to cry when people stepped on ants."

Kate put down her fork on her plate and leaned forward, not enjoying Veronica's smugness and assumptions about her. "We haven't been friends since we were fourteen. You don't know me."

"You couldn't have changed that much."

"I might surprise you."

Veronica knew a version of Kate before her Mom died. Kate had been shy and followed Veronica's lead on everything. Post-Dead Mom Kate had been sad and boring. Veronica hadn't stuck around when she could find more exciting friends.

"I know we haven't talked in a while but I thought being friends again could help us with all of this," Veronica explained. "The other people helping with the ritual are all of Theo's friends. I thought we could work well together."

"You want to be friends again?" Kate questioned. "And do what? We don't have anything in common."

"Not true. We used to like the same things."

"What would we even talk about? Compare musical theory to case laws?"

"I've studied cases involving musicians. You wouldn't believe the insanity of copyright infringement."

Kate was not impressed.

"I'm already helping out your brother. I don't need you to be my friend on top of that."

"After this ritual, we're going to be family," Veronica explained. "Family is important to me. You'll be my sister, just like we wanted all those years ago."

Kate remembered when they had been so excited at becoming sisters one day. They had promised they would be sisters even if Theo never cared for Kate. Kate had wanted to be tethered to her best friend and had been grateful for soul mate magic. And it seemed the universe was giving her what she had wished for years later when she didn't want it anymore.

"Sisters," Kate repeated, wistfully. "I've always wanted one."

Veronica nodded. "I know. So did I."

***

*Present Day*

There were a few days in a year that Kate did not want to do anything but steep in her own feelings and try to drown out the world around her. Most of those days had to do with anniversaries involving her mother. And the rest were about Theo Frost.

Theo's death anniversary was the worst one. There were no good memories to act as a balm to make the day better. All Kate could do was to try and get through the day and wait for it to end. Even Jess knew to leave her alone when Kate was like that.

Theo had died a week before Samhain which was a shame because it was his favorite holiday. Kate often lamented that he didn't get to celebrate Samhain one last time before his death. She didn't know why it mattered when she would've felt the same way if he died before Yule or Candlemas. Autumn was the season of withering, rotting things and it was terribly appropriate.

Kate watched the leaves fall from maple trees and considered which sonata would be appropriate for her mood. Bach? Massenet? Tchaikovsky, maybe.

Her fingers itched to play but she had left her viola in her room. She didn't play on this day. The rest of the year was practice, practice, practice. This was the one day she let herself part from her instrument and not left herself get lost in the string crossing.

"You are a difficult woman to find, Kate Sable," a familiar voice said. "I can see why Theo had been so frustrated. I can empathize now."

Kate didn't turn as Veronica took the seat beside her on the bench. "I'm only difficult to find when I want to be. Most people don't seek me out."

"Most people are idiots," Veronica stated. "I thought you had stopped with your self-deprecation."

"It's a bad habit," Kate remarked. She finally turned to Veronica and added, "I'm still not going to do the ritual. It doesn't matter how many times you ask."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Theo had it easy. He only had to ask you once while I have to keep trying."

"You're not dying."

"Nor am I your soul mate but I am still your sister no matter how long it's been since we talked."

Hadn't there been a time when they called each other family and been so hopeful for the future? Time could be cruel and take away everything until there were only memories and crushed hopes.

"I thought you hated me," Kate admitted. "I thought you never wanted to see me again."

"I said some things I regret at the funeral. I was distraught and I took it out on you." Veronica's blue gaze was sincere. "I am sorry for how I treated you that day. Theo would've been furious with me."

It had been a horrid day. It was a blur of black clothes in a crowded room, Theo's sickly pale face in a mahogany coffin, and the stifling whispers of pity. Veronica had broken down and shouted cruel words. Hands had pulled her from the room and tried to calm her down while Kate had wanted to just sink into the floor and vanish.

Kate couldn't get herself to visit Theo's grave after the funeral. She stayed away for her own well-being. And she didn't think Veronica could stand the sight of her should Kate show up at the cemetery.

"I forgave you a long time ago," Kate told her. "And I'm sorry for not trying harder to reach you."

"We were both hurting. We both loved him."

They had loved him in different ways. Veronica's love for Theo was of admiration and familial loyalty. He had been the big brother who had protected and cared for her. He had made her feel special and valued.

Theo had a unique ability to make someone feel like they were the most important person in a room. Kate had never felt more seen than when he had loved her. She had wondered if a love like that could last. And to her sorrow, she never got the chance to find out.

"He was your brother. You had done everything you could to save him."

Veronica shook her head. "I refuse to let it be like that for good."

"Veronica…" Kate tried to make her see reason one last time. "There's no bringing him back. I want it more than anything but I've had to eventually accept he's gone."

"You didn't love him enough if you really believe that."

The words were harsh and made Kate wince. Her battered heart gave a twinge.

"Magic like that has consequences. There will be a price," Kate reminded her.

"I am willing to pay it."

"It's not up to you. What that price could be or who pays it is not up to any of us," Kate continued. "You could be the one to pay or it could be me. It could be all of us. Or it could be someone else down the line."

"It's worth the risk."

"Veronica-"

"It is worth the risk," Veronica said with finality. "Theo is worth the risk."