Love in the Shadow

Chapter 8: Uncovering a Hidden Relationship .

As I observed Lucas and Jess from across the diner, the weight of my mother's words hammered fiercely on my brain. Their talk was strained, and Jess's face showed clearly the suffering she was trying to understand Lucas's emotions. Knowing how much this scenario was hurting her, I became guilty for wanting to be with him. My heart beating as I thought about my mother's demand, I once more looked at my phone. Could you just come home? Mia I have to discuss something quite crucial with you. She sent a message with urgency that made me uncomfortable. She needed to talk to me right now; what could be so vital? Jess turned away from Lucas just then, her eyes locked momentarily with mine. Her expression revealed a flutter of vulnerability that drew at me. All the same, I couldn't help but be sorry for her. Like I was, she was stuck in a predicament she never asked for. I inhaled deeply, caught between addressing her needs and sticking with Lucas. I decided to give my family top attention. Rising from my seat, I turned to check Lucas. He looked over, surprise written on his face. Concern clearly in his voice, he questioned, "Where are you going? Trying to seem calm, I said, "I have to get home." "My mum has to discuss something with me. Rising, he asked, "Can I come with you?" "I want to be there for you." I hesitated, not knowing whether this was the appropriate moment to combine family affairs with our complex circumstances. "It would be probably better if I went alone," I said softly. "We could chat later." His look changed to one of comprehension, but the letdown was still there. Still, kindly text me later. How it turns out interests me. I vowed, smiling reassuringly, "I will," then turned away. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders as I exited the eatery. The drive home passed as one haze. Thoughts of Lucas, Jess, and my mother's message tore across my brain. Heavier, somehow, the familiar sight of my boyhood house felt different as I pulled into the driveway. I entered and stopped to gather myself. Dinner cooking smelled comfortable, and I could hear my mother humming quietly in the kitchen. She was seated on the couch in the living room, leafing through a magazine as I arrived. She said, looking up and grinning broadly, "Hey, sweetheart." "How was your day"? "Busy," I said, trying to grin. "I had supper with Lucas and stumbled across some old friends.” Her voice softened a little, the warmth replaced with concern. "How is he doing?," asks I stopped and gave my statements great thought. "He's... working through stuff. But he might be interested in someone else, too. "Oh, Mia," she murmured, her voice soft. "I understand the great care you give him. Just exercise great caution with your heart. I nodded, weighty in her words underfoot. "Mom, I will." Setting aside the magazine, she asked, "Can we talk?" "I have to tell you something really crucial." Sitting next her, my gut twisted with nervousness. "What's going on?." She inhaled deeply, her face growing solemn. "Today I discussed my available therapy choices with the doctor. They advised a new treatment that might be beneficial, but it will need a large financial outlay. My heart went down. Although I knew this was approaching, hearing it said brought it all too close. "How much?" My voice just above a whisper, I asked. She hesitated, her eye lowering to the floor. "It exceeds our expectations rather a little. Although you father and I have some savings, we will have to investigate other possibilities. Mom, you know I am here for you. Together, we can sort things out; I felt the usual surge of will. "Maybe I could find work or something to volunteer with." She reached out to squeeze my hand and smiled gently. "I value it, but I want you not to be burdened. You should be thinking about your future, not my medical expenditures; you are still quite young. But I want to assist! I pressed on. "This is our family we are discussing here." "I know," she remarked with a friendly tone. "But let's examine all the choices before deciding on anything. You should not give up your aspirations for me. For a minute we sat silently, the weight of the discourse hovering over us. I was frustrated and yet felt powerless. Though I wanted to help my family, I also wanted to keep going toward my own goals. My phone buzzed on the table at just that, rousing me from my reverie. When I grabbed it, Sarah's message was there. To Sarah: Just making a friendly check in. Lucas, how did things go? I inhaled deeply and tried to organize my ideas. Me: Not exceptional. We had a long talk, but Jess showed up and things got convoluted. Sarah: Hey! Are you here to discuss it? I stammered, staring at my mother. Though just now I had to concentrate on my family, I wanted to tell Sarah everything. Me: Could we get together later? Mother requires me. I turned back to my mother after delivering the mail. "What then is the following action? Do you have scheduled an appointment? Indeed, she answered with a resolute expression. "Next week I have a consultation booked. About this, I want to be aggressive. "Good," I murmured, a flutter of hope present. I will be with you. I could see our link strengthening as we kept talking about the specifics. I came to see that my family would always come first regardless of how complicated things become with Lucas. We ended our chat, and I excused myself to follow up with Sarah. I had to clear all that had earlier transpired. As I curled up in bed, the consoling darkness enveloped me and I phoned her. As she answered, "Hey, it's me." 'Hey! What happened then? She asked with great enthusiasm. I inhaled deeply and related the events of the day—the conflict with Lucas, Jess's unannounced visit, and the mixed emotions that had surfaced. I said, "It feels like everything is falling apart and I have no idea what to do." Her voice calm as she said, " honestly, it sounds like a lot." But, Mia, you're strong. You are qualified to handle this. My voice breaking, I continued, "I just don't want to lose Lucas." But I also want not to damage Jess. "Pay more attention to what you want than on what you believe you should do," Sarah counseled. "Your own happiness is under your control; you cannot control how others feel." " thanks, Sarah. Thank you for always knowing how to make me feel better. I felt a little lighter after our talk, but uncertainty still lurked in the rear of my head. Suppose Lucas selected Jess? What would happen if my family needed more than I could provide? Twist: My phone buzzed once more as I started to go off to sleep. When I opened it, Lucas had sent a fresh note. Lucas: Could we perhaps chat now? I have to go over all with you. My pulse ran. Was he at last ready to set everything out on the table? Alternatively was he simply going to confuse everything more? I sat up, my head whirling with options. He was going to say what? I knew I had to find out.