Love in the Shadow

Chapter 7: Divided Hearts.

As Jess stood there, her eyes flicked between Lucas and me, the tension in the air was evident. My heart sped as I tried to make sense of it. Lucas seemed equally divided, stuck between his emotions for each of us. "Jess, might we kindly discuss this later?" With a tight voice, Lucas questioned. Right now, I'm trying to have a frank chat with Mia. Jess crossed her arms with a tough look. "I find it unfair of you to imply Mia wants her when I am standing here. I deserve to know our position. Frustration started to build up inside me. You are aware of what? Perhaps this isn't the ideal moment for me either, I muttered, getting up and back-off. "I wouldn't want to be in the middle of anything you two have to talk about." "No, wait!" Reaching out to gently grip my wrist, Lucas whispered "Please don't go, Mia." I drew my arm away, emotions whirling wildly. "What from me, Lucas? You want from me Would you like to tell Jess why you find me so suddenly fascinating? "Look, I know this is messy," he said, exasperation coloring his voice. Still, I really want to find out. I love you, Mia, and I never meant for things to get convoluted. " complicate? You have a girlfriend, I shot back, my voice quivering with hurt. "You cannot just flip a switch and expect me to be cool with that." Jess glanced to Lucas and her attitude eased somewhat. You have to be honest with me if you still feel something for her. Fair is not what this is. Lucas's jaw tightened as he peered between us, the weight of the moment down on him. "I didn't budget for any of this to happen," he replied, his voice low. "I thought I could control my emotions for both of you, but obviously that's not working.” I inhaled deeply to help me to organize my ideas. "Maybe Lucas, you should find out exactly what you desire. Right now, you seem to be merely trying to avoid making a choice. He gazed at me, his eyes darting across mine. You are right. I must be very clear about my expectations. Then do it, I urged, pulse thumping. "Say what you want me to do. Tell me if you want her, please. I cannot keep finding myself in the center. Lucas nodded, allowing time for himself to gather. Mia, I would want to be with you. My emotions for you are stronger than anything I experienced with Jess, I have found. I do, however, also desire not to cause injury to anyone involved. I had a flood of relief mingled with uncertainty. Though the reality of the situation still loomed huge, seeing him say those words was all I had hoped to hear. "Lucas, this is all so sudden," Jess said, her voice quivering somewhat. "You cannot discount our relationship based on someone from your past." He turned to her, his manner softening. "I am not discounting you, Jess. I have to be honest, though, about how I feel. Never meant to be leading you on. Jess retreated, her face a mixture of hurt and empathy. "I see," she remarked softly. "This is thus truly occurring." "Jess, I didn't want for it to develop like this," Lucas stated regretfully. "I wanted not to upset you." I watched as Jess started crying. She turned away, inhaling deeply to help her to calm herself. "I just need some time to sort this out.." "Can we converse later?" Lucas stepped closer to her and inquired softly. Her back still pointed to us, she nodded. "Yeah, I consider that to be ideal." Jess left us standing there, her shoulders tight as she went. The weight of the moment loomed large in the air, and I could feel the uneasiness sinking in. My pulse pounding, I looked to Lucas. "I didn't mean to position you like that." "No, it's fine," he said, frustratedly running a hand through his hair. "This was clearly going to happen finally. I simply did not think it would go down this way. I inhaled deeply and experienced both relief and anxiety. "So, what now?" "I want to take you out," he replied, a focused look in his eyes. Simply us. I have to prove to you that I really feel this way about you. Really? Surprise clear in my voice, I asked "After everything just happened?" Indeed, he answered with great force. "I want you to know how serious I treat us. I want no more hiding. I hesitated, caught between Jess's truth and the delight of his words. "But Jess? What about it? She is due closure as well. "I'll talk to her," he said with a steady look. "But I cannot overlook what is occurring between us any more. We cannot continue to pretend it makes no difference. His genuineness warmed me, and for a moment it felt as though everything was fitting into place. I answered, "Okay," my heart pounding. "Let's leave." I was excited and terrified at the same time as we left the park. Though I had been waiting for this, the weight of the circumstances still hung over me. The atmosphere of the small, charming eatery we came onto close was friendly. As we started to discuss more subdued topics—our favorite movies, novels, and memories from our early years—I could feel the tension gradually releasing from our comfortable table close to the window. Lucas laughed so contagiously, and I sensed our bond growing. It seemed like everything was well for a time, and at last I could be exploring this new relationship. But I saw a familiar man walking into the restaurant just as I was starting to unwind. Jess entered and looked about the room until she found us. Her look, one of hurt and treachery, plummeted my heart. My heart hammering, I turned right away to Lucas. "What ought we to do?" I mumbled, panic starting in my chest. He sighed, scratching the back of his neck, peered over his shoulder. "I'll chat to her.." I said, "No, wait," snatching his hand. Let us not aggravate this already. She is hurting, and this can set off a more extensive scenario. Lucas nodded, his eye fixed on me. "You're right. But I cannot overlook what is happening between us. Jess walked over to our table, her eyes ablaze with feeling before I could reply. "So this is how you want to handle things?” Her voice quivering but solid, she said. "Jess, I—," said Lucas got going, but she cut him stopped. "No, let me finish," she responded, her voice rising. "You consider this to be good? To just carry on with her as I do not exist? I stared at Lucas, who appeared troubled, feeling the heat building in my cheeks. "Jess, I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice regretful. "I didn't mean for you to find out like way. Well, you did, she shot back, narrowing her eyes. And neither of us finds it fair either. "Can we have a private conversation?" Lucas pointed out, his tone sincere. "I refuse to do this here." Jess halted and looked between us. Perfect. But you better be honest with me, replied her voice quivering. “Because I won't be strung along like this.” The weight of the occasion pressed down on me as they moved away from the table. Confusion, guilt, and a slosh of optimism flooded me. What were you doing? Would Lucas go back to Jess or pick me? The uncertainty was stifling, and I couldn't get rid of the impression that once more my world was about to change. Twist: My phone buzzed once more while I was seated there observing them from a distance. Pulling it revealed a note from my mother. Mom: Could you please come home? Mia I have to discuss something quite crucial with you. Her message's earnestness chilled me to no end. What might it be? As I turned back at Lucas and Jess, who were now deep in conversation, my heart accelerated. I knew I had to face whatever lay ahead; I felt the old weight of duty creeping in.