Aspen
Five days turned into two days quicker than I’d realized. There was still hustle and bustle going on in the castle, even more now than before. Why couldn’t we just have a small, simple wedding? With just family? Oh, because being the golden child of the kingdom means everyone has to be in attendance. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my people, because believe me, I do. But after all the heartache I went through, I just want to get it over with and be Zion’s. There’s still a dull ache from Silas’ rejection, I don’t know if that’ll ever go away. We would have been so great together, he knows it too. He sent flowers with an apology yesterday. I wanted to throw them out the minute the messenger said they were from him, but then I read the note and my heart melted. Even now, as I sit in my room by the window, I reread his letter, clutching my heart as I fight back the tears, again.
My dearest Aspen,
I’ve wrote this letter more than a dozen times trying to find the right words. None of them were the right words, there will never be right words. I hurt you. I betrayed the trust and friendship we’d build up over the years. I let our love end because of obligation. My heart feels empty without you in it. This isn’t some ploy for me to get you back, I’ve lost that privilege. If we are truly meant to be, eventually we will find our way back to each other. When I accepted your rejection, it’s the most pain I’d ever been in. I can only imagine you were feeling the same. I am sorry for that. I should have done it at the wedding, at least I could have held you while you were in pain. I did it for you, because I love you. Goddess do I love you. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. To become my best friend again.
My heart is always yours, forever.
Silas
I folded the letter again and held it to my chest. I knew he loved me, but this was taking it to a whole new level that I didn’t know what to do with. I missed him. I thought once our mate bond was broken, and since Zion was my second chance, that I’d find peace. But I was wrong. My heart still felt empty without him. Even if we were just friends, at least he would still be in my life. I could still write to him, tell him things that mattered to me. Maybe find a way to mend the giant hole in my heart that he left. I sighed and closed my eyes, listening to the rain hit the window. I could only pray that the weather would change for the wedding. It had to change. My father insisted on an outdoor wedding, in our gardens. Not that I’m complaining, our gardens are gorgeous. This time of year though, the weather is unpredictable. A light knocking on my door snapped me out of my thoughts. Before I had a chance to say come in, a head popped around the opening door and I smiled.
“I thought I’d find you cooped up in here. You never did like the rain.” My mother said with a smile as she closed the door behind her and came to sit next to me. She’d been the one to bring me the flowers Silas sent. No doubt she was here to check on my emotional state. Her eyes drifted to the letter still clutched to my chest and then they lifted to my face. “It gets easier, beloved. “ She said softly, reaching her hand out and grabbing my free one. I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. I didn’t trust my voice currently. Why was I feeling so down when my wedding was in two days?
“We have one last dress fitting, beloved. You are going be the most beautiful bride there’s ever been. Silas will be standing there wishing he’d of thought better of marrying that Lena.” She beamed and I had to chuckle. My mother always favored me, even over my brothers. Not that she did so on purpose, but I was her only girl. We had a deep connection that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
“He wrote me a little letter with those flowers.” I said softly, handing her the folded up paper. My mother read the letter, and then reread, and reread one more time. Her hand flung to her heart and she let out a soft gasp as her eyes flicked to mine. “Why does it feel like part of my heart is still missing?” I asked softly, biting my lip to keep the tears in check. I’d always assumed that finding your fated would be grand, spectacular. It wasn’t. It hurt. It was painful. Maybe it was just because he chose her over me, but I understood. That’s why I rejected him to begin with. Silas was taking up more time than he should be. Our bond was broken, I was supposed to be over him and fully devoted to Zion. But I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more going on than I knew.
My mother pulled me into a tight hug and I buried my face into her neck. “Oh my beloved. I have no words that will truly comfort you. He did what he did out of love, that’s a powerful thing. There’s no replacement for your first, true fated mate. Second chances are so so rare, but I shouldn’t have expected anything different from you, my special girl. It doesn’t take away that first pain though. Not truly. The Moon Goddess has such a plan for you, my daughter. I have a feeling your limits are going to be tested in so many ways. You must remain strong. Everything will work out in the end. Just remember that.” She pulled away and kissed my cheek. “Let’s get you to that fitting.”
The Queen got up and gave me a few minutes to compose myself before she expected me to follow her out into the hall. I took the time to wipe away the tears that had fallen and put Silas’ letter in my desk drawer. I wanted to keep it safe, and close. It was always going to be a reminder of his love, his sacrifice for me. I took a deep breath, straightened my dress and then followed my mother out into the hall for my last dress fitting. For my wedding. In two days.
‘You have no idea what’s in store for you, blessed child. Everything will be worth it in the end, I promise you this.’