Dear Diary, I Think I'm In Love

Being The Center Of Attention Is Not My Thing

I sigh, checking what's next on my schedule. English. Huh, okay. At least I'm with Leslie in this class.

"Hey, sis! Bye, sis!" I suddenly hear a familiar voice nearby, and I look up from my schedule, annoyed. My brother is grinning like a jerk, thinking that his greeting was hilarious. But as he takes one look at me, he immediately puts his hand over his chest in a dramatic way. "Sis, are you wearing makeup?" I let out a long sigh.

He's surrounded by all his friends. Which is why I expect them all to start laughing. Well, most of them do, but some stay quiet. "Yeah, mom decided to invest in my appearance rather than rotting your brain with another video game," I strike back, hearing a few more chuckles coming out of the boys. Even Aiden smiles at me.

He's about to say something, when Hunter takes a deep breath next to him. But as I turn my head in his direction, someone else beats him to it. "I think it suits you," Eric says, standing with his front turned towards my side. I turn my head, smiling at him. Unexpected as hell, but it feels nice to be complimented. Especially by someone as cute as Eric.

"Thanks," I simply say in response, soon realizing that there’s a tension forming around us. My brother is staring at his friend suspiciously, the rest of the guys are deadly silent, and I suddenly don't know where to look. I can feel myself starting to blush, and I'm suddenly grateful for all the concealer that Nicole applied to my face. "I'll catch you guys later, I'll be late for class," I quickly speak up, before anyone else does.

My brother and Hunter don't budge. I sigh, then make my way out between them, having to practically push them apart. What surprises me is that I have to try much harder to move Hunter than Aiden. And my brother is really tense.

"Chill, bros," I tell them just before I manage to escape. I can feel their gazes on my back, as I walk away, but I don't turn around. The atmosphere, full of testosterone, was starting to suffocate me. I can't handle that much attention.

As I walk towards the English classroom, my head is basically spinning. Did Eric Schmitz just call me cute? I pinch myself. Yep, definitely real. I can't help but smile like a fool. My stomach is twisted into knots. I never got a compliment from a boy before. I didn't think it was that important, to be honest. But now that it happened ... I don't know, my mood has suddenly improved.

I find myself so deep in thought, that I practically jump towards the ceiling, when my best friend pops up in front of me and nudges me playfully. At my reaction, she bursts into laughter.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think you'd jump like that!" she apologizes as soon as she's able to calm down a little. Then, her face suddenly falls. "Jeez, Perrie, where did you get makeup? You look ... Really pretty. Like, really, really pretty. Gorgeous, actually," she declares so proudly, that it makes me blush again. Ugh, why does my body do that?

"Thanks, Les ... It's actually Nicole's ..." I trail off, expecting a drastic reaction to my words. But all Leslie does is hang her mouth open. Then, she pulls me to the side and sends me a look that lets me know, she wants to hear everything.

I don't wait around, I quickly explain how I broke down in U.S. History class and how Nicole helped me out. My best friend looks really torn as she realizes someone else had to help me out, because she wasn't there with me.

Finally, she opens her mouth, saying: "I'm really glad Nicole was so good to you. I can't understand how she can possibly hang out with Cassie." I shrug and sigh at the same time, not knowing what to tell her. "It's a shame your brother isn't your twin. That way at least he'd be there to help you out," she then thinks out loud.

"Oh, don't even get me started on my brother. I met him on my way here and he made a remark about me, wearing makeup," I begin, shaking my head and smiling in a silly way. My best friend perks up her ears.

"Give me the deets, I can tell that there's more," she urges me, and my face falls.

"How the hell are you able to tell that?" I ask, pouting in disappointment. Leslie tilts her head.

"By that stupid smile on your face," she informs me dryly. "Now, spill it. Did Hunter tell you that you're pretty? Because it was about damn time," she then adds, knocking the air out of my lungs. I grow quiet and just stare at her, not knowing where this is coming from.

My bestie realizes that she didn't guess right and shuts up, staring at me in horror. "No ... It was Eric Schmitz, who told me that I look cute," I finally reveal, making her offer me a sour smile. "Why did you think it was Hunter?" I then pressure her on, wanting to know if there's something that I don't know.

Leslie sends me a gaze that lets me know that I'm being an i***t. But as she opens her mouth, she gets cut off by the bell. I send her a look. Don't you dare be quiet now, Les. "I guess this will have to wait until later," she tries to get herself out of the situation, but I don't let her.

I pull her back, wanting to get to the bottom of this. "I'm not entering the classroom, until you say whatever you just meant to say." She rolls her eyes at me, for being so dramatic, then sighs in defeat.

"Fine. I thought it was Hunter, because I'd have to be blind to not notice the way he looks at you," she tells me. I blink in surprise, completely taken aback by her comment.

"No, he doesn't?" I declare, but my sentence comes out sounding more like a question, than a statement. We start moving towards the classroom.

"Yes, he does," she argues and we start a series of no's from my side and yes's from hers. We bicker the entire way to our seats, and don’t stop even as we sit down. But Mrs. Ramirez cuts us both off with her pointed gaze and we grow quiet. Once the lesson starts, Leslie throws a tiny, crumpled piece of paper over her shoulder, making it land right in front of me.

I open it with a sigh, shaking my head in disbelief as I read the words, written on it. He's totally into you! I already mean to write 'no, he's totally not' and throw that paper right back where it came from, but in that moment, someone bursts my bubble in a pretty nasty way.

Cassie clearly raises her hand behind me, because Mrs. Ramirez turns towards me, or so it seems at first. But then, she calls her name and I freeze. Please tell me she didn't read the note over my shoulder. "I feel sick, may I go to the bathroom?" she then says, making me breathe out in relief. Whew.

"Do you need someone to come with you?" the professor asks, and I can hear that Cassie is already getting up from her seat.

"No, it's okay, I'll-" She cuts herself off by falling right next to my desk and taking all my stuff with her. Including the note that I quickly crumpled back into its original state. I flinch in surprise, trying to grab her before she collapses to the ground, but I'm too late. She lands as gracefully as possible, with a tormented look on her face.

Despite being completely annoyed by her actions, I quickly jump on my feet and help get her back up. Mark, one of our jock classmates, helps out, too. But I'm suspecting he has hidden motives, because despite being hot, he's known for being a total slime. Bleh.

I let him take over and start picking up my things, my face darkening as I realize she made the whole day about herself again. "Mark, take Cassie to the nurse's office, please. You're both excused," the professor tells me.

In that moment, I get help from another pair of hands and as I look up, I realize it's another one of Cassie's minions. She offers me a smug smile as she takes that tiny, seemingly innocent piece of paper and starts unfolding it. "Ally, wait," I hiss, but it's to no avail.

Leslie tries to prevent her from opening it, but she fails, just like me. Ally already gets up and asks: "Who's totally into Perrie?" The whole classroom quiets down in an instant. "Come on boys, it says here, he's totally into you! So, which one of you is it?" she encourages the class.

I'm trembling. My face feels hot and when they all start laughing, it feels even worse. I can feel my eyes tearing up again, but there's no way in hell I'm letting the waterfalls start for someone like her. As I glance at Cassie, looking over her shoulder when she's about to exit the classroom, she doesn't seem to be as sick anymore. Before I'm able to react, she and Mark already disappear, sharing a laugh. On my account.

"That's enough!" Mrs. Ramirez finally snaps, her voice cutting through the laughter and making everyone shut up in an instant. "Ally, you just earned yourself a week of detention for interrupting the class. Leslie and Perrie, you will join her today, for writing notes to each other during the lesson," she then speaks up in a tone so deadly, that even Leslie doesn't dare to defy her.

As soon as the teacher heads towards her desk, my best friend turns around with an apologetic expression on her face. I smile at her, but it's more forced than anything, really. I can't believe Cassie arranged that just to see what Leslie wrote to me.

I look at my hands, still noticeably shaking. Like my sadness doesn't cause me enough trouble ... I can't handle also watching out for Cassie every day. Especially not with the way she operates. It's too stressful, watching her act like a sweetheart, when she secretly wants to erase me from the planet. Or something along those lines.