Dear Diary, I Think I'm In Love

There's A First Time For Everything

Dear Diary,

I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. Not even when I accidentally sat down on a water balloon in elementary school, and it looked like I peed myself. The whole school knows about that note, Leslie wrote to me. I don't know what to do.

Wherever I look, someone is winking at me, then laughing. Am I really so terrible, that the thought of someone liking me, makes everyone laugh? I don't want it to affect me, but it does. I just want to be left alone, I didn't ask anyone about what they thought of my looks. I can't wait for something else to catch their attention, so they forget about me.

I expect an earful as I call my mom during lunch, to let her know that I'm going to be staying longer in school. For detention. But clearly, someone pissed her off before I managed to. "Are you and your brother trying to avoid coming home today, or what?" she asks over the phone.

"What do you mean?" I say in response, completely clueless what she's talking about. Mom sighs and I can tell that nothing good is coming out of this.

"Your brother got into a fight, don't tell me you didn't hear about it," she grunts, clearly annoyed that she has to repeat this out loud. My jaw basically drops.

"No, I didn't, when was-" I'm cut off by Leslie nudging me. Hard. I stop in my tracks the moment I look into the direction she's pointing at. "Oh my God. I can see him now," I then say into the phone.

My mom gets alerted. "Is it that bad?!" she wants to know, her tone making me realize that she won't tolerate lies. Hell, Perrie, you've already earned yourself a day of detention. You don't want to get punished by your own mom, because it's going to be much worse than having to stay at school longer.

"Blackeye, bloody above the eyebrow and let's say that his mouth has seen better days," I quickly explain, hearing her take in a sharp breath.

"Is he toothless?!" she asks frantically, almost making me burst into laughter. I can't believe she actually asked that with a straight face.

"No, mom ... Actually, I can't tell from that far apart. Can I call you back?" I say, hoping that she won't spiral even further down the doom road. But she clearly manages to calm herself down, because she agrees.

"You better do, or I'm coming to school right now, to see for myself," she warns me. I say goodbye without commenting on her threat, then rush to my brother with Leslie by my side.

As he sees me, his face darkens. "What the hell happened to you?" I ask, shocked as I see him up close. That is one nasty bruise. I don't really have the stomach for these things. Lord help me, I don't want to puke.

Aiden sends me a deadly look, making me gulp nervously. Did I do something wrong? "I got into a fight, big deal," he mutters under his breath, taking me aback. Excuse me?

I narrow my eyes at him. "I was just on the phone with our mom. At least I can tell her that you're not toothless, so thanks for that," I remark sarcastically, then send a glance at Hunter, who's watching the whole ordeal silently. My stomach twists as our eyes meet and I quickly tear my gaze away from him.

"Perrie, wait," my brother sighs as he realizes I'm about to turn around and walk away. I look at him in expectation, but he doesn't start talking about what happened. He lets out another deep breath. "I'll tell you later, okay?"

I stare at him for a moment longer, then draw in a sharp breath. "Okay. I just hope you didn't send Eric to the ER," I remark, making him stiffen. He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"No, Eric is my friend, why would I get into a fight with one of my closest friends?" he asks, before his face suddenly darkens. Uh-oh. I can tell that something nasty crossed his mind. "Unless there's something I don't know," he hints, searching my eyes for anything that he should find out about.

I can feel my cheeks heating up, and I'm almost reaching the point where I'm about to start stuttering. But my best friend jumps in, saving my dignity. "Stop stressing her out, Aiden. She's just worried about you."

My brother looks at Leslie, not showing any kind of change in his mood. "What about you? Are you just as worried about me as my sister?" he asks, suddenly offering her one of his cheeky smiles. Yeah, the ones that he uses when he's trying to charm someone.

Leslie seems to be at loss for words for a moment, and I realize that it's time for us to leave. "Oookay, clearly everybody is more than fine, moving on. See you in detention, big bro," I cut the tension that's starting to form in the air.

I take my best friend's hand and lead her away before my brother sinks his claws into her brain. The last thing I need is the two of them getting together. As I glance at Hunter, he says something that almost makes me stop in my tracks. "Eric was right earlier, you know?"

But I have no idea how I manage to continue moving and simply shout back: "Thanks!" Once we turn the corner, Leslie nudges me almost a little too violently. "Ouch!"

"Sorry! Did you just hear that? I knew that he was into you!" she whisper-yells in a triumphant way, while all I can get out of my mouth is an unconvinced humph. She sends me a pointed look. "Are you saying that you don't agree?"

I shrug, not knowing how to make her stop talking about this. "He didn't compliment me. He just said that Eric was right earlier. What kind of sentence is that?" I mumble, making my bestie laugh from the bottom of her heart.

"You're totally bothered that he didn't call you cute directly," she notices, while I shake my head. I was done thinking about Hunter in that way when I was twelve. It was part of my childhood and I had to let it go. I'm not spiraling back into that place again.

"I'm not," I simply say in response. Leslie sighs, but I don't give her the chance to continue bothering me. "So, do you worry about my brother too?" I tease her, earning myself a long look in return.

"Don't push it, Pez," she warns me. Now I'm the one laughing. She totally does. I just hope she doesn't care too much, because my brother ... Well, he's a known player. I really don't want my best friend to get hurt.

We get close to the English classroom just when the bell starts ringing. We quicken our step, but I just can't have five minutes of peace in this school.

"Hey, Perrie!" one of the seniors calls out to me as we pass him by. He's moving with a group of his schoolmates and I turn around in surprise, thinking that they might say something about my brother. But my face soon falls as he starts winking at me, then the whole group laughs. My whole mood sours and Leslie practically has to pull me forward. I want to hide.

The worst part is, my own classmates are laughing like retards, too. I just can't wait for this day to be over. It's starting to suffocate me.

My wish doesn't come true as soon as I would want it to, though. We still have detention to get to. Well, at least my brother will be there. In his presence, no one will dare to make fun of me. If his classmates already know about the note ... Word has probably gotten to him as well. I don't know what's worse, having to endure everyone's laughter about it, or knowing that my brother now thinks that somebody likes me. Even when no one actually does.

I dread the moment when we have to get ourselves to detention. I've never actually been to detention before. My mom always made it crystal clear what would happen to me, if I dared to earn myself one. Now I'm not sure if I even want to make it home. It's a good thing we're both in trouble today. She might go a little easier on us.

Who am I kidding? This is our mother I'm talking about. She's a damn tigress when we piss her off enough. Oh, we're so screwed.

My brother is already sitting in the classroom, when Leslie and I get there. He has an empty seat on his left side, his right side and even front and back. But every student who enters the room, avoids him in a big radius. Huh. What did my brother do to earn himself this kind of treatment? He's actually one of the popular guys in this school.

I take the desk in front of him and Leslie takes the one on his right. I then twirl around without any fear that I might get scolded. The professor, who's supervising today, teaches art. He's literally the most easy-going guy at the school and he looks so young that he could practically be our age. And the best thing about him is that he doesn't care what we do, as long as we're not too loud, doing it.

"I want to hear everything now. Who did you get into a fight with?" I encourage my brother, hoping that he won't brush me off. When he sends me a pointed look, I realize that he knows. I take one scared glance at Leslie and she knows exactly what's going on.

"You first. Who's into you?" he asks, making me stare at him with wide eyes. I should've expected this. I mean, I was expecting it, but not so soon. Or so directly. He turns to my best friend, when he doesn't get a response from me. "Who's into her?" he questions her next.

I can tell that a few other classmates, especially Ally, are eavesdropping. Leslie glances between my brother and I, not knowing what to do. My gaze is screaming at her to keep quiet and my brother's gaze is boring into her demandingly.

"Fine, I'll tell you," I blurt out in panic, because I really don't want anyone else to hear it. "I'll write it down," I then whisper, sending a meaningful glance into Ally's direction. My brother sends her a nasty gaze.

"I know I'm a hot guy, but don't you have homework to do? Or are you just going to stare at me the whole afternoon?" he asks in a tone that makes me cringe. And make me wish to bury myself deep into the ground.

But as I turn around, I realize Ally is so embarrassed that she’s minding her own business, pretending to be really invested in doing her homework. "You’re worse than our mother and she has a talent for embarrassing people," I mumble as I glance back at my brother.

"Thanks," he simply says. "Where's that name now?" he pressures me and I nod sheepishly, glancing at Leslie before I start tearing away a piece of paper from my notebook. She’s staring at me with such an apologetic look, that it makes me feel sorry for her. I can tell that she feels guilty about this situation.

I write down the name without giving it a second thought, then crumple the piece of paper before passing it to Aiden.

When I hear a rustling sound as he starts unfolding the note, I hold my breath in panic. I half expect him to start screaming in horror, but a few long seconds pass and nothing happens.

I twirl around, unable to hide my curiosity any longer. He's holding the note between two fingers and staring at me without even a hint of surprise on his face. "He was kind of obvious about it earlier, with that comment," he simply says in response.

He hands me the note and I glance at my best friend with hidden warning in my gaze. I truly hope she'll understand that I need her to be quiet now, or else she'll ruin it. "Well, obviously, it's why we were passing notes at all," I remark loud enough for Leslie to hear as well.

I can tell she's getting confused when she starts thinking about the timeline. Yeah, that's right, Les. Hunter hasn’t made a comment until after Ally already exposed us. Her face falls.

My brother stares at me for a long moment, before saying: "To be honest, I thought I was about to beat up my best friend too." I widen my eyes and Aiden sighs as I don't respond for quite some time. "Hunter," he then adds. Almost like I'm stupid.

"I know who your best friend is," I grunt, then frown. "Why did you think the note was about him?" I wonder, unable to believe how well I'm acting. To be honest, I'm completely terrified. Aiden could expose me at any moment. He's known me my entire life. He knows when I'm lying. But surprisingly, he's completely oblivious right now.

I notice Leslie's expression with the corner of my eye. I can tell she's screaming internally, because I basically changed the whole story. Yeah, same there Les, same there.

"Because he agreed with Eric later," my brother retorts sharply, and I roll my eyes in response. And here goes my plan that no one hears the name of the person that I wrote on the note. I'll deal with that later. One trouble at a time. I need to make my brother believe me first.

"So, what? That doesn't mean anything, I see him every day and he's part of our family. Eric was kind of obvious, because we barely shared a few words until now," I tell him, trying to prove my point. Liar, liar, liar. Oh, Perrie, you're sinking lower and lower into horse dung.

My brother stares at me for a long moment, then shrugs. "Better one of my friends than any other guy, really. That's if you even want to start dating, of course," he expresses his support, taking me aback. Just like that?

He nudges me with his foot, earning himself a nasty glare from me. But he ignores it and starts bossing me around again.

"Don't you have homework to do?" he asks, taunting me in the exact same way as Ally earlier. But the tone he uses with me is more teasing, really.

Still, I deepen my glare and say: "Don't you?" Then, I straighten up a little as I question him. I still don't know what he did to earn himself detention. "Who did you get into a fight with?"

Aiden realizes that he won't be dodging this one, so he sighs before answering. "Brent," he tells me completely casually, while I feel like my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head.

"Are you insane?" I ask him, blinking in horror. To explain a little, Brent is the tallest guy in our high school. He's Aiden's classmate and football teammate. They don't like each other, but I still can't understand why my brother would attack him physically.

As I said, Brent is gigantic compared to my brother, but clearly, Aiden didn't take it as bad as he could've. Especially if we point out the fact that he practically picked a fight with a gorilla.

I have a feeling there's more behind the story. My brother might come off as a little scary sometimes, but he's definitely not the type of person, who would attack someone. At least not without a good reason, even if he doesn't like them.

Brent, on the other hand ... Well, he's a jackass. He objectifies everything that walks and thinks that he can buy anyone. His parents are filthy rich, I have no idea what he's doing at a public school. The point is, he's not a good person, but somehow, he still managed to be one of the most popular guys in the school. He's practically my brother's rival in every aspect. Especially in the field. I think that's what stings Aiden most.

"And what did Brent do that you lost it?" I ask as I snap back to reality. Aiden just stares at me in a way that tells me there's no way I'm finding out.

"It’s between him and I," he simply says in response. I already mean to protest that the note was between Leslie and I too, but I quickly shut myself up. It might have started out like that, but Ally made sure that it became everyone's business.

I stare at him for a moment longer, then sigh as I realize the conversation is finished. I turn around and decide to use this time to do my homework. I already have to stay at school longer than I thought I would. I can waste time at home, not here.

As I glance up, I realize someone is staring at me. I look around, noticing Ally's smug face. She waves at me playfully, then sends me a wink. A dreadful feeling sinks to the bottom of my stomach, and I feel like my nerves are going to make me throw up. She heard the name. I'm a hundred percent sure of it.