Dear Diary, I Think I'm In Love

Big Brothers And Their Overprotectiveness

Dear Diary,

If there ever was the biggest cliché of all, it would be the interruption of a kiss. But what’s the chance of that happening for my first ever kiss in my life? It’s downright ridiculous.

And out of all people in the world, my brother caught us in that situation. When I wished for my life to be like in Bridgerton, I didn’t exactly have Daphne and Simon’s garden scandal in my mind.

I think I might as well start calling my brother Anthony. There are quite a few similarities there. And it’s not only their names starting with the same letter.

I stand in shock as Aiden rushes towards us like a tank. Without giving it a second thought, I step in front of Eric in a menacing way, even though my hands are trembling. “Back away, Perrie!” my brother snaps at me. He’s only a few steps away, but I shake my head stubbornly.

“You back away!” I retort, unable to believe that this is truly happening. This was my first kiss and now my brother is going to ruin it? Oh, hell no!

Eric grabs my shoulders from behind and steps to the side. “It’s okay, I can handle this,” he assures me, which only pisses my brother off even more. His dark gaze pins itself on his friend and I can tell nothing good is coming out of this.

He points his finger at the boy behind me, looking like he’s about to start foaming at the mouth. “You will handle nothing! I won’t let you get within ten feet of her!” he hisses at him, his eyes bulging out like he’s about to explode.

The people nearby are starting to give us looks. Great, the last thing I need right now is for someone else to listen to this crap. It’s embarrassing enough, having Eric hear this. “Don’t you think that decision is up to her?” Eric speaks up in return, and I can’t help but look at him. That was so hot right now.

My brother twitches like he’s having a stroke. I can tell he’s about to say something that he might regret, so I step forward and place my hand on his shoulder. “Aiden, I’m old enough to date and I’m old enough to decide who I want to date … And I’ll make that decision by myself, is that clear?” I tell him with so much determination in my voice, that I’m caught by surprise. I don’t know where it’s coming from.

He looks at me with his eyes narrowed, already meaning to say something, but I dig my nails into his shoulder, just like I used to do when we were kids. Whenever I wanted things to go my way, I did that to him. He hated it and he always gave in when I did that.

He curls his shoulder away in a funny way. If he wasn’t as mad as he is, I’d be laughing already. He looked like a girl, doing that. “He’s one of your closest friends, I’d be careful with my words, if I were you,” I then try to guilt trip him furthermore.

Aiden moves away, so I’m forced to let go of his shoulder, then stands there like a statue. His eyes jump between the two of us, like he can’t decide who betrayed him worse. Eric doesn’t say a single word, and it’s probably for the best. If you interrupt my brother’s thought process, nothing good comes out of it. I’m speaking from experience.

“Fine,” he suddenly breathes out, like someone’s forcing him to do it. Like we’re twisting his arms, damn it. He points his finger at Eric again. “But if I see her crying because of you, you’re a dead man, Schmitz. So dead, there’s no coming back from it. Keep that in mind,” he warns him.

I can barely hold back my laughter. I can’t help it, he’s just so ridiculous. “Oookay, are we done here now?” I ground him in a warning tone, then add: “And don’t you dare say a word to mom. I’ll tell her when I want to.”

My brother looks me dead in the eye and says: “I’m not allowed to lie to mom, you know that.” I can’t tell if he’s being serious or if he’s messing with me. Who am I kidding, he’s totally messing with me, but he means it.

I narrow my eyes. “You wouldn’t dare,” I fume, on the verge of panicking, but he can’t sense that. If he does, he’ll straight up call mom and tell her that I just had my first kiss. Ugh, I can’t believe my brother is such a nosy prick!

He crosses his arms against his chest in a challenging way, raising his eyebrow just like mom does. I hate it when they do that. “I can call her right now if you want. Get it over with. The sooner the better, right?” he remarks, a winning sparkle showing up in his eyes.

I try not to show how much that makes me panic. I mimic his posture and try to raise that eyebrow too, but I have no idea how. I can only raise both of them and it frustrates me. I want to be able to do that too. Secretly. There’s no way I’m admitting that to them. “Fine. Call her then. Maybe we can talk about your crush then,” I challenge him.

Let’s be clear here, I’m bluffing. But Aiden is visibly surprised by my words. So much, that he doesn’t realize I’m saying this out of fear. He stares at me for a moment, then glances at Eric. As I look at the boy, he averts his gaze elsewhere. A-ha! I hit the nail on the head. Something’s going on.

“Well? Won’t you call her? I can’t wait for her to hear all about our crushes,” I keep pushing my luck, not knowing where it’s going to lead me. Aiden shoots a dirty look my way, then straightens up and pulls out his phone. Oh my God, don’t tell me he’ll actually go through with it.

“I’d believe you … If you actually knew who you’re talking about,” he speaks up in a slightly mocking, slightly triumphant tone. I smirk, more out of nervousness than anything else. But I’ll take my last shot, even if I might completely miss it. I have a feeling I won’t, though.

I shake my head slightly. “Oh, please. You’ve always been obsessed with Cassie. I see the way you gawk at her. I know there’s something between you two. Don’t try to deny it,” I tell him, not wanting him to know that I’m blindly guessing. You can imagine his surprise (and my own) when I actually guess right.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish, completely flustered. Eric chuckles beside me and I look at him, almost forgetting that he’s witnessing this whole conversation. Okay, I’m starting to feel a little embarrassed. I literally said I’m crushing on him. Well, I wasn’t a week ago, but I certainly am now.

“Actually, the two of them have been dating for a couple of weeks now,” Eric lets me know, making my jaw drop. I gasp in shock, then turn towards my brother, who glares at his friend, then at me.

“I knew you had no idea what you’re talking about!” he protests, but I’m not having it. I shake my head, suddenly furious that my brother is dating Cassie. Cassie! Out of all the girls that go to Hilhi High! I applaud him slowly, with a serious expression on my face. Don’t lose your cool, Perrie. It’s not worth it.

“Too bad for you. I can’t believe you’re such a hypocrite! You’ve been dating for two weeks and you think it’s okay to make a fuss about me kissing Eric? Na-ah. Now, if you say a single word to mom, I’ll be singing like a birdie about you and Cassie,” I inform him, realizing that I’m barely keeping myself under control.

Aiden stares at me for a few moments, then breathes out in a way that reveals he’s been defeated. “Fine,” he says to me, then turns to Eric with frustration written all over his face. “Why did you have to tell her that?”

Eric raises his hands in defense, then shrugs in a slightly apologetic, slightly humorous way. “Hey, I’m just looking out for myself. Your mom would have my head, if she knew. Same way Cassie’s mom would have yours,” he explains himself to Aiden.

He doesn’t seem very convinced, but he then decides to finally leave us alone. “I’ll see you at home,” he tells me in a very serious way, before walking away. Eric and I stand there in silence for a few moments, staring after him.

Then, I glance at the mess behind us. You know, my spilled Frapuccino and the cup, still lying on the ground. “I should probably clean that up,” I remark, before tucking my hair behind my ear and starting to pick up the cup.

Eric quickly joins me to get the lid and the straw. “Well, there’s one thing I can say for sure … This is not the way I imagined our first kiss would go,” he remarks. Our gazes meet and we start laughing. It almost feels like we just burst the bubble of tension that has been around us since the moment my brother came into the picture.

I already mean to say something, when realization hits me. I’m about to throw the cup away, when my face falls and I look at him in disbelief. “You imagined our first kiss?” I squeal, double-checking if I heard that right. Eric scratches the back of his neck in a slightly shy way, and I can’t help but notice his arm flexing. Uh. That’s sooo distracting. I finally let go of the cup, as I realize I might look pretty stupid, holding it above the bin like that.

“Yeah, I might’ve,” he admits quietly, before throwing the trash away. I stand there, rooted to the spot, because I have no idea what to say, or how to even react to that. I’m shaken. I barely even noticed Eric until the moment he complimented me. And he’s already been imagining our first kiss? How blind am I really?

Instead of saying anything, I decide to show him how much I appreciate his honesty. I take a step closer and place my hand on the back of his neck. Softly, terrified of what I’m just doing. Then, I bring his head down to mine and kiss him again. This time, it’s not as scary.

He places his hand on my waist and moves his lips against mine so softly, like he’s afraid he’s going to scare me away. As we pull apart, Eric stares at me like he’s completely mesmerized. I swallow nervously, before saying: “Our first kiss was perfect. And I wouldn’t change anything about it.”

My words make him smile so brightly, that I can feel my head spinning. And it spins furthermore, as he places his other hand on my waist and kisses me again. Oh, boy. I’m entering a dangerous zone here.