Born to be alone

Dreams come true?

I'm running again. Again, that unique combination of speed and adrenaline. The wind blows through my fur. I increase the speed even more. I can already smell my prey of the night. That smell makes me even more excited.  But this time my prey does not run away. Wait. I smell the air again. This time more carefully.  Not the same smell. Very similar, but not the same. I stop suddenly. In front of me is the strange guy I met today. He smiles at me and says mysteriously " See you very soon".

And he disappears in a scorching snowstorm.

Somewhere far away, the wolf howls

I wake up and glance at the clock. 6:30. Like all this week. But this time the dream was a little different. Usually I catch some enemy, but today that stranger appeared instead. He must have been well remembered by my subconscious.

I hear the alarm-clock ringing in the parents' room. When I get up I look out the window. It's snowing quietly again. I really started to like winter. Such a quiet and beautiful period. And those winter holidays are so cute. Although Christmas is over, the New Year is coming soon. But this holiday to me somehow does not fit in with the two previous ones. I don't like the new year at all. It's somehow too noisy.

Surprisingly, even though I go to bed late and get up early, I still do not feel tired or sleepy. Probably because I practically do nothing all day.

Today I decide to lie in bed a little more.  As much as I can I try to get rid of all the annoying thoughts of my recurring dream. I decide to go out for a walk outside later. Maybe I should text my friend and meet her? But no. Before meeting people outside my family, I want to regain common sense.

At 7 in the morning I get out of bed. I take a quick shower, get dressed, brush and get some snacks. My parents had already left when I finished my daily morning routine.

While I make breakfast the knife slides down and I cut into my finger. In my old habit, I put my finger in my mouth instantly. After a moment I examine the wound, which is quite deep. I'm starting to look for a patch. When I want to stick it on my finger, I get confused. Where's the wound? I examine all ten of my fingers in both hands. It's gone.What the...? After all, I just saw it with my own eyes. I'm definitely going crazy. Now I'm absolutely convinced of that.

I decide to forget this event. I finish making the sandwich and then eat it. Then I sit down at the computer.  As usually I quickly tired of it.  A glance at the clock. Eight, but it is still early to go for a walk. I'm wondering what else I can do to spend my time. I pull some old book out of the shelf and start reading it. This is another fifteen minutes. Feeling like time had stopped. Finally, I play the long-listened rock song from the rock band Muse in full sound. A good way to get your thoughts out of your head.

Finally the clock shows 9am. I decided that if I stayed at home for a little longer I would go crazy so I  dress up and go out to the white kingdom of snow. I walk on the same hard-to-see snow track as I did yesterday. This time I don't meet anyone and decide to keep going. Suddenly that guy comes out of nowhere again.

  "It would be good if you go with me "- he speaks scaring me.

"Why?" - I squeak.

"For your own benefit. I know what's going on with you. I know you dream those strange dreams, I know how fast your wounds are healing, and most importantly, I know why all of this is happining to you" he says convincingly.

"But how? And where do you want me to go?""I'm just like you, that's how I know what is happening. It's quite close. Trust me.  I will do no harm to you. At first I was scared too"

I don't know why, but I trust him and follow him. After about 5-10 minutes of walking we stop at some house.

"Come on in," he smiles encouragingly. I obey. We enter the a spacious sitting-room. A stranger shows me to sit on the couch.

"Sit down. Our conversation can take quite some time.""Converation about what?"

"About you and me and others like us." I sit without understanding what's going on. He clearly notices that .

"Let's start with my name. It is Michael," he says. "How old are you?" This question surprises me, but I still answer " I'm thirteen now".

"That's what I thought. It all started for me when I was that age too.  I know that if I said it all at once you would not believe me so I will start differently. Let us first remember your dreams. Do you dream of being a wolf?"

I nod.

" Your subconscious already knows who you are. Hey ... Don't look at me like I was crazy. Yesterday you did

noticed me when i was turned into a wolf?"

Now I don't understand anything at all, but I answer again " I don't know. I think I saw something wolfish and after a while you showed up".

"So you noticed. Good. You too will soon be able to change shape to a wolf. At first it is very painful. It takes about half a year for the body to get used to changing. After that, it hurts, but to a much lesser extent. The pain of changing is natural. After all, within a few minutes, and then in just a few seconds, the fur grows, all the bones, teeth, everything changes. Now you will start a new life. You have two choices - either stay with me and I will help you, you will not lose your family but you will have to restrain yourself all the time or you will go from here and become a bad werewolf. That way, you will be completely out of control, losing family, killing people and everything what moves. And you will become my enemy. What do you choose?"

" Can I not be a werewolf at all?"

" Unfortunately, you can't. Only if you leave now without the help of others you will become a devastating monster".

" Then I choose the first option. I'd rather suffer and learn to control myself than become a killer. And why are we at all like that?"

"  I don't know that. Maybe it's the genes. Perhaps our great-grandparents were like that. But that's just it

theory, and no one knows the truth of us. Although it is not very important to some others"

"  Why are you helping me? And how did you know that I would be a werewolf?"

" The answer to both questions is one. Our sense of smell is much more sensitive than humans. I smelled that your smell is not human, but it is not like those killers either. You are like me. Although you could easily contribute to others and change. But for now, killing is not encoded in your blood. Besides, I get tired of being alone, and when we are the only two so far, I mean, the good ones, we have to help each other".

" And when can I change?"

" When the time comes, you will feel it. It would be better for me to be around at the time. At first

you will not control yourself. Instincts will completely overwhelm you, and if you are alone with people at the time, the consequences can be very sad."

"Can i tell my parents who i am?"

"  Yes. As soon as you start to be able to change you have to tell them. Once you become a wolf, you will often have to spend the night running through the woods. We must ensure the safety of the people from the monsters of our relatives."

For a while, silence prevails. I think about everything I've learned now. And then I realize. It's a dream. There can be no other way. It is truly a dream. Although if this were the reality I would love it.

"You don't believe it," Michael says.

" I believe in that. Everything is possible in the dreams, ”I say with a smile.

“You think all this is just a dream?” The guy looks really surprised, "Maybe I should tweak youor turn into a wolf and bite?"

" After all, this cannot be true. Werewolves do not exist. Here is a real world, a real life where there is simply no such thing."

" Does that mean that I and you do not exist? Are we fiction or what?"

" - No ... Maybe I would believe you if you turned into a wolf now. Would it be possible?"

" - Well, if that convinces you, then fine. I'll be back as a wolf soon. I can't change here because I'd have to undress here, or tear my clothes."

He leaves and I am left alone in the room. So, it all seems like a dream. This world is strange.

I'm a werewolf. I'm a werewolf. Wow. I'm a werewolf and I like that idea. I look forward to being able to change when I can run at full speed like in my dream.

My mind is interrupted by a huge gray wolf entering the room. He is almost twice as big as a real wolf. And very beautiful. His eyes remained dark blue as if he were a human being. Michael approaches me and looks me in the eye. Gray muzzle almost at the height of my face. And I will be like that. I do not believe it. I'm smiling.

The wolf leaves and returns to the room a few minutes later as a human. "So what do you think now?" he asks.

"  I can't wait for me to be like this," I smile and then remember one thing that interests me " Your eyes remain blue even when you are a wolf?"

" How else could it be? After all, it was the same me just with a coat and in a wolf shape," - he smiles.

And then I somehow feel weird. All bones start to ache. The body is flooded with heat. Apparently this is already happening.

" Looks like I'm about to change. It hurts my bones, some weird feeling."

"  If you want to protect your clothes, I'd advise you to go to the bathroom and undress before it's too late. And you will change instinctively. Don't worry, it's in your blood".

He shows me where the bathroom is and tells me that he will wait for me in the wolf body too, so that if I try to do something stupid he would be able to stop me easily.

Suddenly things start to get even more painful. I see my hands changing to my paws and the pain becomes unbearable.  I almost start screaming. I don't know how much time has passed until I finally change completely. The pain was horrible. As a wolf I remain lying on the ground completely exhausted. Only after ten minutes can I stand up and get out of the bathroom.

I enter a world of smells and sounds that has not yet been felt. Suddenly I notice a wolf in front of me. I show my fangs. What is he doing in my territory? I start growling. I can feel like all my hair on my neck and back rise up instinctively and I pin my ears. My opponent is slightly bigger than me. He looks at me with some strangely puzzled gaze. I see him realize that I have begun study him and he corrects his expression to a neutral and non-expressive.

Then I sense his smell. Such a familiar scent I just can't remember from where.  Then I see a blue-eyed guy in front of me. I growled at Michael. I let out an ashamed whine.  Now I understand from his posture and expression that he is not at all angry and seems to say, “Don't worry. Everything is fine. For me, the first time was no better. "

Being a wolf, the only thing that is really unpleasant is the inability to speak. On the other hand, it can protect you from stupid or even offensive things that people sometimes say without thinking.

I know I should change into a human being, but I don't want to. Just remembering that pain of conversion is scary. Michael looks at me questioningly, but I can't tell him what's wrong. Only when you cannot speak you understand the importance of language.  After all, we convey our feelings, thoughts, experiences, news by talking. Body language is far from enough for all of this. But still, I try to tell him what I think about getting on my hind legs. He immediately understands. It is also tricky that when we change we have to be naked, because our clothes do not disappear anywhere. As a result, he cannot help me with my change.

The gray wolf is clearly coming up with something. I understand he wants me to wait for him here. In a couple of minutes he is back in human form.

"It is more difficult to convert into a person," he says, "and the pain is not lessened, which is not pleasing either. For these reasons, I'll try to help you out a little. The key is to focus. Forget everything around you. Focus only on the exchange. And then let your body flood with heat and endure pain. I can't help you in no other way. Just focus on what matters. Otherwise you will not change. First time hardest. After that it will be much easier."

“So, again, the pain. It's fun, ”I contemplate gloomily and bring it to the bathroom. Then I take a deep breath several times. I'm concentrating. I feel the heat. And then I hear the noise on the site. It's like a fight ... I suddenly jump in the door. Two wolves in the room. They look different than me and Michael. Smaller, more like werewolves from movies than real wolves.

Michael is clearly in trouble. One of the monsters keeps the poor man pressed to the ground, preventing the guy from changing and defending himself. Without thinking I attack the beast. He flies across the room after collision. The sound of broken furniture is heard. I didn't even know I had so much power now. But I don't know what to do next. So far, I have directed the attention of the wolves by my assault, but what next? They will both tear me apart. I hope Michael has enough time to change. The second werewolf jumps at me, applying to the my throat. I growl and attack him too. It turns out I'm stronger than this one too. He flies across the room just like his friend.  I feel Michael standing behind me in the form of a wolf. We growl together in unison.  Only now I notice how they got here - the window was broken. There, the assailants pass and escape.

However regrettable it is no I really have to turn into a human being. I'm concentrating. I feel the heat, then the pain. And here I am, lying down again on the ground. when I am gathered, I dress. Then I go to the sitting-romm. The human Michael is waiting for me there already.

"Well done. Only next time, remember that you also have sharp teeth when you're wolf" - he smiles and winks at me. " Now you have to tell your parents who you are. Good luck."

Of course I will have to do this myself. I don't even know how my parents will react. After all, this is absolutely unbelievable.I believed it myself only when I saw the wolf. The fact is that I will have to try to explain it to them without giving them a heart attack but also it needs to be convincing. I sink deep down to my thoughts.

"That's what I'm going to do then. Thanks for helping me out "- I say and grab the door knob.

" I can accompany you," the guy suggests," it is possible that the two who have attacked us are just waiting for us to part.  Even though you were able to deal with both of them once, you could probably do it again," he grins.

As a child I show him my tongue. We both laugh.

"  Still, I'd better be alone. Then I'll be able to think about what to say to my parents on the way home".

" Well, bye than. See you later. Come here as soon as you can"

"Today?"

"No, a year later. Of course today. They are always hunting and when they saw that now there are two of us they will be attacking even more often." seriously he says looking me in the eyes.

"Okey, then see you soon."

"See you later."

I leave. I can feel his gaze thrust into my back. With each step I get closer to my home. I still don't know what I'll tell my parents. I decide to come up with something later. The parents will still not be back from work. So I'll have some time to come up with something.

I unlock the door and enter the house. Even when in my human form, all odors are much stronger now. It's so strange that this morning I was a human being and now I'm a wolf or a werewolf. But I'm not sad about that. It’s good to be extraordinary.

.