The Alpha Witch

Chapter 7: Blur

Lily's POV

I ran to Conner side. I wanted to make sure he was okay. Part of me knew I needed to go after Myles, but Conner getting hurt was my fault. Myles' anger should have been directed at me and not Conner.

I knew I had a lot of bridges to mend. I just felt they were being way harsher to me than they ever were to Maureen. I hated comparing us together, but we both are princesses and their friends. We should be treated the same. Even when we are being impulsive and stupid.

I felt Landyn scowling me from behind me. It was really irritating me. I turned around abrubtly. "What I can feel he staring at me. What is your problem?"

"My problem is you avoided me so I couldn't read your mind. You convinced Laura to make you a potion so I couldn't when you did come around. I thought you did that because you didn't want me to know how badly you were actually hurting. I didn't think you would do something so stupid. You lied to me, Lily. What's funny is Maureen was doing the same thing, so I couldn't read hers. You girls think more alike that you realize. Laura thought the same thing I did. She thought you needed privacy to cope. You lied to her to and you had Maureen lying to us too."

"I never asked her to lie. I know you're working on the whole invasion of privacy thing. But I also know you. I know you would have read my mind. You treat me differently. You would have no problem reading my mind. You wouldn't have hesitated like you did with Ella and Maureen."

I thought I saw a look of guilt across his face. He quickly covered it up. "Lily, that's not true."

"Right, just like you holding me to a higher standard to everyone else isn't true? Tell me, when Maureen did a stupid, impulsive thing, did you treat her like this? Did you make you feel stupid and pathetic for hurting? Did you lecture her like she was a child? Or did you try to understand and be there for her?"

"Lily, you could have told me what was going on."

"Would you have let me go if I did?"

He sat quiet for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I wouldn't have."

"That's the whole issue. I knew that you wouldn't. But if i were Maureen, you would have let her and insisted that you go with her. That's what I needed. I needed a friend. I didn't need all of you telling me I can't do this or that because it's too dangerous. I needed comfort and support. I needed you, Landyn. I thought we were closer than that. Conner was there for me. Myles would have listened to you. He listens to everything you say. So if you said no, that would have been the end of that."

I could tell by the look on his face that he really felt guilty now. "Lily, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I'm sorry."

I sat back down in the chair across from him, pulling Conner to the one next to me. "You all want to protect me, and I appreciate that. All of you just treat me like I'm fragile and weak. I tried to prove myself. I learned how to fight. I know how to protect myself. Yet you still all treat me the same way you always have. I need you to trust me more. I need to know I'm allowed to make mistakes."

I could tell Landyn was feeling even worse. The more I talked, the more he was beating himself up. I didn't want to feel bad for saying how i was feeling, but somehow, he managed to make me feel bad for him. "Lily, i just wish you would talk to me more. Like you used to. Now you just hold everything back."

I bit my lip debating if i wanted to say what i was thinking. "Landyn, i never fully told you everything. I've always felt like i had to hold back in a way."

He looked even more hurt. But it's the truth.

I guess he really didn't need to know that last part. I went to apologize when Amber came barging in. I felt a grin reach my lips. It's been a while since something like this happened. Is it weird that i missed moments like this? Okay, maybe not. She looked really, really pissed and i really didn't want to be on the other end of that. She can be scary when she wants to be. I was preparing myself for the worst. Instead, she surprised me and yelled out into the hall. "Get your ass in here, Myles."

Myles came in and was ghostly white and kind of pouting. I was just pleased he no longer looked pissed. He sat in a chair as far as he could get from Conner and was full-blown pouting now. I think he didn't like Conner sitting next to me. I dont think it mattered that Conner was mated with a baby. I knew i took things too far by opening up to Conner slightly and not him, and now he was getting jealous.

We all waited to see where Amber was gonna go with this. "You boys are seriously ass hats. We all are. She felt like she couldn't come to any of us. Well, besides Conner and even he didn't know everything. Instead of blaming her for not talking to us, maybe we all need to fully understand why she didn't. All of us have done impulsive stupid s**t and we all give Lily a harder time for doing exactly the same thing. Maybe she wouldn't have gone to the rogue camp if she wasn't held to such high expectations from all of us. I'm ashamed that I even have done it to her."

I felt the tears falling. "I just dont want to disappoint any of you by not being perfect all the time. If you guys excuse me, i just need some time alone. I really am so sorry i didn't tell any of you what i was up to. i know it was dangerous. I promise i won't go back there."

I got up to leave and didn't hear any footsteps behind me. The problem was i didn't know where my bedroom was. I knew it was on the top floor, but that was as far as it got. I stood awkwardly in the hall. I didn't know this place. I didn't know where i could just be alone. I decided to go for a walk. I headed out back and saw the palace close behind us. Having them so close brought a lot of security. I knew we were safe here.

I saw a dirt trail leading towards the palace. I debated it for a minute, but in the end, i just said what the hell and started walking. I promised i wouldn't take off again. Well, i guess, technically, i promised not to go back to the rogue camp, but either way i texted Amber letting her know i was going on a walk on the dirt trail behind the house. At least this way, no one can be mad at me.

I wasn't sure when the dirt trail was made. It was heavily weeded. I didn't think they would have made it just to lead to the tunnels. I really didn't think my grandmother would be that stupid. But then again, she did a lot of stupid s**t.

It led towards the palace entrance. I decided to just go say hi to my grandfather. I knew it's been quite a while since I made an effort with him.

As I was getting ready to walk out of the clearing in the woods, I saw a tall man with white hair exit the palace by a few warriors.

I stayed back wondering who he could be. The curiosity was getting to me.

After the warriors got him far enough away, they turned around to head back inside. He walked awkwardly slow and kept glancing behind him. It was almost unnoticeable if I hadn't been watching him.

He was gone in a blur. Not in wolf form, not like Maureen when she teleports. It was like he ran. I've never seen someone move so fast in human form. I was questioning myself if I actually saw it right.