Broken

Chapter 5: Therapy

Trevor leaned over to me as I was about to get out, he turns my face towards his and kisses me passionately, I kiss back surprised, we usually only kissed at school. I felt a flood of emotions as he smiled at me,

“Go before you’re late sweety.” he says smiling more.

I nod and smile, “Yes hun.”

I get out, leaving my bag, but taking my phone. I walk up to the front doors, walk in, check in at the desk, then sit and wait to be called. Im called about 10 minutes later, I walk towards the door as Landon is coming out, I nearly run into him,

“I’m sorry Landon,” I say backing up , trying to go by him.

He grabs my arm softly, “Hey Lucy, it’s fine, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you.... I had no idea you died. Im never touching you again, I don’t know what’s wrong with Tanner, I hope he doesn’t hurt you to badly .”

I just stare at him for a moment before the therapist pops her head out, I keep looking at Landon as she says my name,

“Lucy?”

I look over at her, “I’ll be right there,” I smile at her.

Landon looks at me before hugging me, “I really am sorry Lucy,” he says before leaving.

I hug back and then walk into Ms. Sullivan’s office, I sit down across from her. She smiles at me. I take a deep breath in and out as she notices my face.

“Would you like to start with what happened to your face?” she asks.

I sigh and nod, “One of the bullies, Tanner punched me today.”

She nods, “How does it make you feel? Did you say anything back to him?”

I nod, “It made me upset, it hurts a lot, I screamed at him after school and shoved him, he also shoved me hard into the lockers, making me pass out, I still have no idea how I got to the nurses office, but someone helped me.”

She nodded, “How are the other two bullies been?”

I looked at her, “Landon and Greyson have been fine, they haven’t been torturing me or hurting me, Landon apologized today.”

She nodded again, “Do you forgive him?”

I shrug, “I’m not sure, they caused a lot of damage, they still don’t know I’m rich, they now know I died, I screamed it at Tanner as I shoved him, I probably shouldn’t get so mad, but there’s a lot of hate in me from all the years of torment. I don’t know how to forgive them, especially Tanner right now.”

She nods, “Do you think one day you will tell them you’re rich and have been your whole life?”

I nod, “When the times right.”

She smiles, “That’s a step, now tell me about Trevor.”

I smile at the mention of his name, “We’re still fake dating, but it feels real, I want it to be real, he treats me so good, he even kissed me before I got out of the car, I feel like he actually likes me, but I’m too afraid to ask or confess.”

She nods, “Do you think you’ll tell him how you really feel Lucy?”

I nod, “When I stop doubting myself, I will.”

She smiles, “Does he make you happy?”

I nod and smiles more, “Yes he does, more than he knows, he sleeps in my bed next to me every night, we woke up this morning cuddling, my brothers love him, he’s my neighbor and since the hospital he’s been at my house everyday and night.”

She nods again, “You sound and look so happy talking about him.”

I didn’t hide my happiness, “I am, he makes me feel like a person, like I’m so loved, he knows the real me, he’s best friend’s with my brother’s, they want us together they think we’d make a great couple, they know were fake dating, but they texted me it over dinner last night, they said we look happy, real, and things are slightly better with ‘dating him’” I reply as I use air quotes at the last two words I say.

She nods and smiles, “That sounds real to me Lucy, hold onto the happiness, has the dark place come back yet?”

I look at her and frown nodding as tears formed, “Yes, after Tanner hit me and i woke up in the nurses office.”

She nods, “It’s okay Lucy, as long as you don’t act on those thoughts you’ll be just fine.”

I wipe some tears nodding and smiling a little, “Will it get easier to not want to?”

She nods, “Yes with time you might overcome it, if you don’t we’re going to put you on a medicine if that doesn’t help, we’ll refer you to a hospital.”

I cried a little more just nodding, she hands me the box of tissues, then says,

“Let it all out now, so you can be happy at home, have fun with Trevor.”

I just nod, using tissues to wipe my eyes, but more tears come, I let it all out for a good half hour. Then I’m good, I pull myself together. I smile at Ms. Sullivan,

“Thank you so much, this is helping slowly.” I say.

She smiles, “That’s the goal Lucy. Now how are classes with the bullies?”

I look at her, “Quiet, they don’t bug me they talk about me, but nothing too mean, unless its Tanner talking.”

She nods, “Seems like he is a bad bully.”

I nodded, “He is the worst, he is broken, he’s worse than I am with hurting myself when I did.”

She nods, “Seems like it.”

I smile at her, “How much more time do we have today?”

She smiles, looks at the clock, then says, “20 minutes.”

I smile, “Okay, so my other classes and lunch are good too, Trevor eats with me and my friends everyday, the bullies eat at their table, Tanner glares at me and gives me pissed off looks, like he’s jealous maybe. I don’t know but he is vicious, it’s annoying. He makes me mad too.”

She nods and smiles, “That’s normal, he’s being mean, you will have mixed emotions especially when you’re depressed.”

I sigh hearing the words I hated, “I know, it just sucks.”

She smiles softly, “I know Lucy, but we’re going to over come it all in time.”

I nod and smile a little, “I know its just hard to process it all.”

She just nods at me, then asks, “Would you like to end this early? Go spend time with Trevor?”

I look at her shocked, she never asked me if I wanted to end the session early, “Yes I also have homework.”

She nods , “That’s also a part of why I asked.”

I get up, shake her hand, “See you tomorrow?”

She looks at me, “You can come everyday or every other day.”

I smile, “Okay.”

I wave to her before leaving the room, I feel refreshed, happier, motivated and ready. I walk out of the building, walk to Trevor’s car, get in, buckle up and look at him with a smile. He smiles back, leans towards me, kisses me, then starts the car. I kiss back, smile more, and he asks as he pulls out,

“How was your session?”

I smile and look at him, “Refreshing.”

He smiles as he drives towards our neighborhood, “Good, I’m glad.”

I look out the window, watching the scenery as we drive. About 10 minutes later he pulls into his driveway, we get out and he comes over to me, he just kisses me again, I kiss back. I felt something there, something real, I felt love. If he kept kissing me like this, I’d be spilling my heart out to him. He is just so perfect to me, everything in this moment was great. I felt like we were really together, but he didn’t formally say anything. He was making my heart skip beats,

“I love you Lucy,” he says.

I look up at him, shocked, unable to respond, he just said he loved me, was I dreaming? He looks at me,

“Lucy are you okay?” he asks.

I nod, “I’m fine Trevor,” I couldn’t say much else.

He takes my hand, we walk into my house, wave at my brother’s on the couch, then head up to my room, I sit at my desk and begin my homework, staying quiet, Trevor sits on my bed, starting his homework, then saying,

“After we finish our homework, there’s some stuff I need to say to you Lucy.”

I turn and look at him, “Okay Trev.” I turn back to my homework, continuing it.

I finished my homework right before dinner was done, Trevor finished his way before me and just watched tv while I finished up. He looked at me as my brother’s called up to us that dinner was done.

“We’ll talk after dinner okay?” Trevor says.

I nod, “Yeah as long as you let me get comfortable first.” I smile.

He nods, “Of course Luce.”

He took my hand and we went downstairs for dinner.