Broken

Chapter 4: Can I Finally Stay Happy?

After dinner was finished we all ate. After eating I went up and showered, got ready for bed, laid down putting the tv on Grey’s Anatomy. Trevor went home to shower, grab some clean clothes, then he was coming back. He pretty much was like living at my house, sleeping next to me every night since I got home. We weren’t really together, but it felt like we were, he treated me so good, he also made my heart pound fast and when we kissed it felt so real. I wanted it to be real, but I wasn’t about to confess that not yet.

If things at school stayed good, maybe I would , but those bullies were so unpredictable, tomorrow they could t*****e me or leave me be. I fell asleep before Trevor got back, I felt him softly kiss my forehead before I felt him lay next to me, then I felt his arm around me. I fell into a deep sleep after that, I slept through the night. I woke up the next morning all cuddled up to Trevor, I smiled and got up, he woke up when I moved, I smiled at him,

“Good morning Trev.”

He smiled back and leaned forward kissing my cheek, “Morning Luce.”

That made me smile more, my brothers were the only ones that used that nickname for me lately. Hearing it from Trevor, made my heart melt, he was so good, and I was falling so hard it scared me so much. I had never felt like this before, no guys made me feel like this before ever, the only attention I got was negative from guys. That was Tanner, Landon and Greysons doing, they wanted me unhappy it made them feel better.

I got up off my bed, went to my walk-in closet, found something to wear for school, changed and came out. I sat on my bed tying my sneakers as Trevor went to change, when he was done, I grabbed my stuff and we headed to his car. He opened the door for me I got in, placed my bag on the floor and pulled his hoodie on, then buckled my seatbelt. As he got in he looked at me for a moment, then started his car, he seemed like he wanted to say something, but held it in. I just flashed him a smile, he still made my heart skip beats, I still wanted to confess to him, but I was so afraid. After all the t*****e I went through, I was too scared to make a move now.

He pulled up to school, parked and we got out. He took my hand, we walked into school like the day before. Tanner was missing from the crowd, I saw Landon and Greyson. They didn’t pay much attention to us, we walked by them and he walked me to my first class. He kissed me goodbye as he walked off, I walked in and sat by the Windows, Greyson walked in alone a few minutes later. The teacher came in, Tanner walked in about 10 minutes later, he glared at me, I rolled my eyes and opened my notebook. Class began, once it was over I grabbed my stuff and headed to my next class. I sat by the windows again, all the boys sat together, I pull the sleeves of Trevor’s hoodie up and wait for the teacher as Natalie asked me a question,

“Hey you okay?”

I look at her, “I’m fine.”

She smiles, “Okay good, you disappeared for almost a week.”

I nodded, “Yeah I was sick.”

The teacher walks in and she doesn’t get the chance to reply. I pay attention to the teacher, when this bell rang, the boys were out the door first, I grabbed my stuff, I had gym now, I begin to walk out when I’m pulled to the side, I look at the person pulling me, It’s Tanner. I look at him,

“What the f**k? Let me go Tanner!”

That pisses him off, “No!” he snaps back, “You deserve so much hell.”

I look at him, “No I don’t Tanner!”

He hits me, hard, his fist connects to my right side of my face, it hurts so much, then he shoves me hard into the lockers causing me to drop my bag. The wind nearly knocked out of me, the halls are empty, no-one is there to help me, I’m on my own. I shove Tanner back, he grabs me and shoves me so hard into the lockers I fall to the ground, the pain so intense. Then I hear two sets of footsteps, then I hear Landon and Greyson. Then I black out, I wake up a few hours later in the nurses office. I slowly sit up groaning in pain, the clock reads that its 10:30 3rd period. The nurse comes over to me, handing me some meds,

“Go straight to class, counselor said to skip her today, go to a therapy session after school, Steve said to call him if you need a way home.” the nurse says.

I nod , take the meds, “Thanks,” I smile at her

“No problem, off you go.” she smiled at me.

I grabbed my things, the nurses note and headed to class. I walked in handing the teacher the note, he sees the bruise on my face. I try to hide my face some as I take the empty seat next to Landon, I pull my stuff out and begin to take notes. I ignore the boys, I can feel Landon watching me, it’s unsettling. When class ended, I grabbed my stuff, the boys took off, I left for the lunch room, Trevor’s face read a lot of anger, when he saw my face.

“What happened babe?” he finally asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I replied, my eyes scanning for the bullies, they were in the lunch line.

“Okay, on the way home?” he asked.

I nodded and whispered, “I have to go therapy after school.”

He nods, “Ill bring you, don’t worry.”

Then he kisses me softly, god my heart melts everytime he kisses , even if it’s fake. How I so wish this was a real relationship, it really seemed like we were, but it was all for show, to make them back off, but my feelings are so real. We sit after grabbing food, we eat, laugh and talk. Despite the nice bruise on my face, I had a lot of explaining to do, to Trevor, my brothers and my therapist. Why the hell did Tanner have to hit me? I f*****g hate him, oh how’d I’d love to punch him in the face back.

Greyson and Landon seemed to be changing, Tanner didn’t seem to be changing at all, he seemed worse, I was afraid for tomorrow. He could hurt me worse, I thought I had overcome it all. I thought that they would back off, I f*****g died because of them, they didn’t know that though. Tanner was like an angry pitbull pulling at it’s lease, and I love pitbulls but not Tanner. He made me want to hurt myself again, I was trying so hard to stop thinking about it, but that old wound is open again. I’m hiding my feelings behind a good smile, but I wanted to die right then.

I snuck a peek at the bullies table, Tanner was glaring at me, what the hell did I do so wrong in life to get this kind of t*****e? Did I somehow hurt him without knowing? Like what?! I finished my food, threw out my trash, Trevor put his arm around me, Tanner looked so pissed. I turned away just as Greyson and Landon looked at me, they didn’t have the same hate like Tanner, they were beginning to scare me a bit. I was used to them being total assholes, so no t*****e or torment from them was so strange. As lunch ended, Trevor walked with me to our next class, his arm around me, we definitely looked and acted just like a couple. This was how school was for us now, weather we were really together or not, we seemed better off pretending then me being single and everyone knowing.

We sat next to each other, class started, we focused, the bell rang, the next class was the same, then we headed to drama. My second day back, we were going to be working on a play soon, we were auditioning for parts today. I put my things down near Trevor’s stuff, we sat down and waited for the teacher. He smiled at me,

“Lucy, you are so pretty babe.” he says.

My face had to have turned 5 different shades of red, “Thanks babe, you’re so handsome.” I smiled.

He leaned in, kissed me softly, then hugged me tight, when the teacher walked in he pulled away with a smile. We put our attention to the teacher, as he began to talk. He handed out the scripts, we read them over, then picked a part we really wanted and a backup part incase we didn’t get our first choice. When I went up there, I acted out the main girls part as my main role, then the next longest girl part as my backup. Trevor tried out for the main guy and the guy that loved the girl I chose for my second option. I was beginning to think Trevor really liked me, but won’t confess.

After we all auditioned our teacher put us in groups for Improv, telling us he’d give us our roles tomorrow. I hoped I got the main role, I watched the rest of the girls, they didn’t seem to put much effort into there’s not the way I did. I put emotion, feeling, passion into mine, I was good at this stuff. I was that secretly rich girl, with a fake boyfriend and was good at acting. I should be paid for how good I can act, I reenact Grey’s Anatomy so well I should have a spot on there. Trevor and I were in different Improv groups today, but I kept catching him look at me, I was doing improv with Nate, Tyler and Lizzie.

I had fun, let loose and gave them my best improv. They all laughed as I nailed it, and Nate caught me without a warning as I “fainted” it was great. We couldn’t stop laughing, I could see the joy in Trevor’s eyes at my laughter. Everyone tried to ask about my face all day and I brushed it off saying I hit myself with stuck door. They seemed to believe me, as the bell rang, I grabbed my stuff, Trevor took my hand and we walked to his car. We walked by Tanner and Greyson, Tanner spat out,

“Ugly bitch.”

I looked at Trevor, “I’ll meet you at the car can you take my bag?”

He looked at me, “Yes babe, be fast we have plans.” he kissed me.

I kissed back and nodded, “This won’t take long I promise.”

He nodded and walked off to his car, peeking back at me. I turned to Tanner pissed, I shoved him pretty hard surprisingly.

“Shut the f**k up! Stop hurting me stop insulting me! I f*****g died because of you Greyson and Landon! That’s why I wasn’t here for nearly a week, you guys hurt me so f*****g badly my heart stopped! Im so sick of you assholes! I am not ugly! Have you seen how many guys want me Tanner?! There’s plenty, but I’ve already chosen! Im taken now, stop cutting me down, you’re going to cause something you can’t fix if you keep it up!” I screamed this in his face as I shoved him into the wall, then walked away before he could respond, I was shaking so badly, I ran to Trevor’s car and got in before I exploded into tears.

Trevor locked the car, started it and took my hand with his free one. I was still shaking, I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears fell, I could tell Trevor was watching me out of the corner of his eye. As I opened my eyes, we were pulling up to therapy, he parked and shut the car off. He turned to me,

“What happened to your face babe?” he asked, still keeping up the fake relationship.

“Tanner punched me, Im fine” I said.