SHATTERED
2032 Words
Around 12:30 a.m (midnight)
Aaron's POV:-
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It's midnight now and Kenneth has not woken up till now. I want him to wake up and hold me.He is not opening his eyes and looking at me. He is not smiling at me. He is not embracing me. He is not kissing me, why??
I am missing him!! With each passing second I am missing him terribly!! I am missing his all things. His kisses, his hugs, his warmth, even his teasing, his flirting, his stupidity, his sleeping face and.........ans I just miss him. I just want to listen his voice. Just for once.
"Aaron stop crying now. He will not like seeing you like this."
"I also don't want to cry Mike but.....I can't help it!!"
"I can understand that but you have to be strong for him, for you, for his family, for us. We all need you."
"Hmmmmm."
"Ok, now take this food and eat it."
"Put it on table. I will eat it later."
"You are saying this same thing for last few hours."
"I am(sniff)...not feeling hungry now Mike."
"It's not being hungry, you need strength Aaron. Remember being strong."
"(Sniff)......Hmm, give it to me."
"You will not be comfortable eating here."
"I will manage. Just give it to me."
"He will not leave you Aaron."
"I don't want to take risk, that's it!"
"Ok, I am outside, just call me if you need anything."
"Hmmmm."
Mike went outside and I started eating my midnight dinner, which I don't want to eat but I have to! Speaking of dinner, I still remember Kenneth's cooking skills. He was such a pathetic cook!! He was not able to cook a simple omelette without burning it....!!!
During our college days, he use to cook for me which ended up on complete disaster of my dishes and kitchen..........damn these rich kids....... My stupid boyfriend!! But since he came from Japan, he can cook simple dishes properly. I don't know how he learned that and whose kitchen he put on fire but R.I.P to that kitchen.......Well one thing that is good now is that he learnt to cook food.....not much but simple dishes which I love the most......!
I don't want to eat this food anymore. I can't eat this food without Kenneth beside me teasing, feeding, pampering, smiling at me!!! I am hungry but this pain and knot in my throat isn't allowing me to swallow a bit!! I need my Ken...!! I am really missing him.
"Hey Ken, you know I am very hungry now, but I don't want to eat this food, it's very bland and you know I don't like that. I want to eat something very spicy with cold drink. What do you think??"
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"Ken, why don't you get up and make your special Kimchi fried rice for me. I really like it when you make it with spicy omelette. Hmmmm I can feel water in my mouth!! Now get up Ken...!!
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"Keennnn, wake up naaaa. I am very hungry. I haven't eaten anything for the whole day!! I will die now!!
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"Keeennnn!!!"
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"You(sniff).....a....are a bad boyfriend Ken...!! You told me t(sniff)....that you will always listen to me and fulfill my demands(sniff).....but now you are not even responding to me!! I(sniff)......I hate you i***t. It's me who should act like lazy not you!! Get up Ken(sniff)....get u......(sniff)!!"
Hearing me crying little bit loudly, Mike came inside the room and hold me from behind and started claiming me!!
"Hey hey Aaron, it's ok, it's ok, shhh, shhhh!! He will be fine don't cry ok."
"Mike, why he is not talking to me(sniff)....!! Does(sniff)...doesn't he loves me?"
"He loves you Aaron. He loves you more than anyone else, and you know that very well. Don't you!!"
"Then (sniff).....then why he is not waking up. Everyone is worried for him. His mother got ill too. Why everyone is saying tha(sniff)....that he will not survive!!"
"Sshhuu Aaron, don't be like this. He is unconscious but he must be listening to us. He will not like it. He will feel guilty. You know him na. He is fighting and we should support him!!"
"I know Mike but.....I..I need him. I am getting crazy seeing him like this(sniff)."
"Listen Aaron, you need to rest now. It's really late. If Kenneth will gain his conscious later then he will need you. So rest for now. You will also need your strength."
"But I do.."
"Aaron just listen to me for once. Will you?"
"Hmm(sniff)."
"OK, take rest. I will be in Kenneth's mother's room. If you need anything then just call me. Ok."
"OK."
After Mike went outside the room, I lay on the couch and started looking at Kenneth. He seems to be in a peaceful sleep but I know he is so much in pain. I started recalling all our happy and sad moments. Slowly slowly exhaustion took over me and I fall asleep.
Around 6:00 a.m (early morning).
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It was early morning when some annoying beeping sound hit my ear. When I realised where I am, I got up abruptly and went to Kenneth.
"Hey, Ken, what happened to you!!
That annoying machine was still beeping constantly and Kenneth was sweating and breathing heavily, and I know what does it means. He is in danger. He needs help. He needs doctor. s**t, where is doctor!!
Without wasting any time I pressed the bed side bell and called for the doctor. God, what is happening to him. Kenneth please hold on for me, please. I know you can do it. Why the hell this doctor is not coming? Where the f**k is he?? Suddenly room's door open and a nurse came inside.
"Excuse me sir, let me see the patient."
"Where is doctor Paul...? Why he is not coming?"
"His shift is over sir but second doctor in charge will be here soon."
"Ple.......please call him soon."
"Excuse me sir, I am the doctor in charge now. Please let me treat the patient. Nurse Jane, please take Mr. Aaron outside."
"Yes sir. Mr. Aaron please."
"No, please no(sniff)......I want to be here(sniff)......I will not disturb you(please)...please."
"Jane, just let him be and please pass me that syringe."
"Yes sir."
"Please hurry up!!"
I stood there helplessly in a corner not to interrupt thier movements covering my mouth with my hands tightly so that my cries and screaming will not disturb their minds and work. I hate this, I just hate this!! Why I can't touch my Kenneth....?? He needs me!! I want to hold him!!
I was crying silently when someone pressed my shoulder and started saying something to me!!By voice I know it's Mike but I am not bothered to divert my attention from my Ken. Everything in this world can rest now, the only thing that matters to me is my Kenneth.
Someone was crying loudly beside me. When I turned my head, it was Kenneth's mother. His father was sobbing and holding his wife. His sisters were also crying and soothing their parents. God it's really unfair to them!! Why they have to watch their young, healthy, smart child die in front of their eyes like this?? Why??
I again looked at Kenneth, he was struggling for breath. Doctor took a machine, charged it and pressed it to his chest. I know what they are trying to do. I have seen it many times in dramas and movies and I use to make casual comment and fun about it but now seeing it in front of me, on my Kenneth is like a most hideous nightmare I have ever seen.....!!!
Maybe this is what we call platform of life where we are the puppets and that god has our thread in his hands. Everyone have to play a role in it in different situations and in different times!! I want to get up from this sleep but it seems like I can't!! Please god. Just makes this all a dream..........please!!
"Jane charge it again. This is our last chance and we have to make it!!"
"Yes doctor."
"Ok, on the count of three, be ready."
"Yes doctor."
"OK, 1..2..3 go."
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"Bbbbbbeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppp"
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I don't know what happened but suddenly that machine started producing beeping noise. Doctor put all the equipments again on thier places and detached all the tubes and machines from Kenneth's body. They sighed and talked to eachother about something and I can guess what he must be taking about.
Like a nightmare, suddenly everything changed. How can within a second things change. Kenneth was alive now and now he is dead......how......???
A perfect straight line on that monitor has shattered my whole life, my dreams, my happiness, my smile, my soul, my love perfectly just now, within few seconds. But I know this is a dream!! Kenneth has promised me our forever, and he always fulfills his promises. This is just a nightmare!!!!
"Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Watson but your son is no more."
"Sorry Mr. Aaron but we can't save him. Sorry for your loss."
Hearing this Kenneth's mother fainted immediately and everybody started helping her. Slowly slowly I went towards my Ken, who is now sleeping peacefully for forever!! I touched his hands, his eyes, his neck, his forehead and stopped on his cheeks.
I started rubbing and making small circles on his cheeks. They're not warm and welcoming like before. They're very cold now. Very....very.... very cold!!! His lips has lost their natural red shiny colour!! They're now totally white. Very.... very.... very white!! His lashes has stopped fluttering. They're still now. Very.... very.... very still!! And with this my whole world has shattered now. Very..... very..... very shattered!!!!
Tears are streaming down from my cheeks continuously. I can't even see his face properly, and I don't want to see that face because I know he is not my Kenneth....!!! I don't know this face which is this pale, white, lifeless and dull. My Ken has a smiling, beaming, happy face, so he is not my Kenneth.....!!! No, he can't be!! He can't leave me like this......alone and broken....!! Isn't this unfair to me....??
"Ken......this is not done. You can't do this to me!! You can't leave me like this Kenneth(sniff)........!!
"Bbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp"
"You(sniff).....you have promised me our future, our happiness, our dreams, our love to(sniff).....together, now you can't do this to me(sniff)!!"
"Bbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeppppppppppppp"
"Keeennnnn, wake up naaa(sniff)....I will listen to you always(sniff)......I will do everything that you will say(sniff).....!! Please wake(sniff)......wake up Ken.....!!!"
"Bbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeepppppppppp"
"Ok, let's get married Ken. You just wake up and I will marry you with any ring and prist here and now(sniff)....... Just wake up Ken..."
"Aaron, Aaron(sniff)....... Shuuuu, listen to me. He will not return now(sniff)...... He is dead Aaron."
"But how he can leave me Mike(sniff)..... How.......?? Why it has to be me and him in this position.......?? Why.....?? Why it can't be someone else.....?? I don't want this!! I can't accept this!! No, I will not.......!!!!"
"Aaron listen to me, jus....."
"No I will(breathing heavily)......I will not.....!! Why(breathing heavily)......he left me.....???"
I can feel pressure rising in my mind, lack of oxygen in my brain, my breath getting heavy, my body getting numb and falling on that cold floor slowly but I don't care about it because there is no Kenneth worrying for me.
It seems like this time has stopped and it is punishing me for my every ignorance towards Kenneth....!! I can hear people calling and shouting my name but I only want to hear that one voice that I can't hear now for forever.....!!! My everything has shattered now with Kenneth.....!!! You can't do this to me!! You can't.....!! And slowly slowly darkness enveloped me..............!!!
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- Writer
