Heaven's Will

13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I can taste liquor in his mouth.

For unknown reasons even I could not fathom, my heart was beating rapidly.

He was still kissing me. And I'm not even doing anything to stop him. His arms pulled me into a tight embrace.

For a moment, my mind went blank, and then it seemed to dawn on me that this whole scenario is wrong.

I shouldn't have let him kiss me.

This is wrong!

I pushed him.

And slapped him. Real hard.

Mukhang natauhan din siya. We were both catching our breaths. Hawak nya yung labi niya habang nakatingin sakin.

"C-cy.. Cy, I'm s-"

I raised my hand to signal him to stop.

"N-no. Kenneth please, I don't wanna hear it."

"Cy, no no.. LISTEN.."

"I SAID I DONT WANNA HEAR IT! JUST.. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

He tried reaching for me pero pumiksi lang ako.

Tumakbo ako papanik sa taas. Bumalik ako sa kwarto but sleep seems to be avoiding me.

Pumunta ko sa veranda to have some fresh air.

Hinawakan ko ang labi ko at napapikit.

Shit. Naiinis ako sa kanya! How dare him kiss me.

I hate him for that, but of course I hate myself even more.

Because I almost responded. Almost.

And I liked the feeling of his lips on mine. s**t.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyayari sakin.

We shared a kiss for f**k's sake!

Lagi nalang kaming nagkikita! Tapos ang dami pa nilang similarities ni Aldrin! Niloloko yata ako ng tadhana..

Kung kelan naman gusto ko ng magmove on kay Aldrin ay tsaka naman ako makakakilala ng isang taong labis na nagpapaalala sakin sa kanya.

How cruel life is.

Ng sa wakas ay inantok na ako, bumalik na ko sa kama at tinabihan ang himbing na himbing na si Jianne.

Nakatulog ako na binabagabag ng isang tao ang utak ko.

Kinabukasan, maaga kaming gumising dahil 7 am ang class.

Habang naglalakad kami papasok ng St. Therese ay kumakalabog ang dibdib ko.

Para bang may mga dagang naghahabulan dto.

Pano kung makasalubong ko siya?

Iiwas ba ako?

Aaktong walang nangyari?

Shit. Bahala na. Pumasok kami sa room. Katabi ko siya sa subject na to. Tahimik na umupo nalang ako sa upuan ko.

Naramdaman kong may tumabi sakin. Kabog ng kabog ang dibdib ko. Ayaw paawat!

"Cyrelle.." Ayan na, narinig ko na ang boses nya. My insides are melting.

I decided to ignore him. Siniko niya ko. "Cyrelle, hey."

I pretended that I can't hear him.

"Cy, please talk to me. I was drunk. I know I shouldn't have done that, and I'm.. I'm.."

I was surprised with how gentle his voice was. "You're what?" I finally said.

Tinignan niya ako. "I'm sorry." And then he sighed.

I averted my gaze, hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan sa kanya.

The memory of the kiss will just flash in my mind. I tried so hard dispersing that thought last nght.

Dumating na yung prof namin. Diniscuss nya yung ipapagawa nya saming plate.

Kenneth is unusually silent, which as much as I hate to admit, kind of bothers me.

Naiinis parin ako sa kanya kaya di ko siya pinapansin.

After class diretso kami sa cafeteria nila Jianne. I must admit, I was spacing out.

Paulit ulit na nagrereplay sa utak ko yung nangyari kagabi!!!

"Cy, matunaw yung ice cream ha? Kinakain yan di tinitignan." Sabi ni Ji. I reached for my spoon and took a scoop.

Hay. This is my comfort food. Grabe, it balms my senses.

"Simula kaninang umaga ang tahimik mo. Did something happen?" Ryan asked.

Umiling lang ako. Hindi na nila yun kailangang malaman, nahihiya ako.

Nagtinginan sila ni Ji then Ji shrugged.

Napalingon ako sa kabilang table and saw Kenneth staring at me.

Nag iwas agad ako ng tingin.

"Bili lang ako uli." Paalam ni Ryan, tapos umalis na.

Ji leaned forward and whispered. "I saw that? May ganung effect teh? Anong meron?"

Wala talagang nakakatakas sa mapanuring mata nya.

"Wala yon no. Ikaw talaga." I smiled to hide my embarrassment.

"Sus. You are a freaking denial queen Cyrelle Audrey Guevarra." Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. Tinawanan ko lang siya.

"Dami mo ring napapansin no?"

"Ako pa? Hah. I can predict feelings before you even admit it." She eyed me.

"What? Is there something you wanna imply?"

"Is there something you wanna admit?" She challenged.

"Wala no!"

"Edi wala."

"You don't seem convinced." I pointed out.

She shrugged. "That's because Im not."

Inubos ko nalang yung ice cream ko. The day ended fast. Nakasalubong ko si Abby.

"Cyrelle, buti nakasalubong kita! May practice bukas 11-5pm. Don't worry excused kayo sa mga klase nyo."

"Ganun ba? Sige, salamat."

"Ikaw na rin bahalang magsabi kay Kenneth ha? Hindi ko kasi siya makita.Bye!" Tapos umalis na siya.

Speaking of Kenneth, nagcut siya ng last class namin. San kaya yun nagpunta?

I sighed. Bakit ko ba siya iniisip?

I was contemplating whether to text him to inform him about the practice or not.

In the end, I decided na wag nalang.

Im not supposed to send him a msg, baka isipin niya ay okay na kami.

We're not.

I don't even know kung kaya ko siyang harapin bukas eh.

Bahala na nga.

I took a cab on the way home. I checked my phone. No msg from him.

Napasapo ako sa noo ko. Ano ba tong nangyayari sakin? I paid my fare.

Pagpasok ko sa bahay, naabutan ko si Kuya sa sala. Katawagan niya si Jimmhel, yung girlfriend nya.

"Oo baby! Lalaki kaming lahat na nag inuman dito kagabi....Promise!"

"Eto, medyo masakit parin ang ulo pero okay naman.. Ako kasi may pinakamaraming nainom eh.."

"Oo na, ngayon lang naman ako uminom uli.. Hindi na, last na to baby."

"Sige, bye. I love you." Tsaka nya binaba yung phone.

Napansin niya ako.

"Cy, you're home. Good."

"Bakit?" My brows creased.

"Someone dropped by and left something for you." He smiled mischevously.

"Who?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay but he just smiled.

"Andun sa dining table. Check it out."

"Okay." Nilapag ko yung bag ko at dumeretso sa dining room.

May isang puting supot sa ibabaw ng table. Inilabas ko ang laman.

Isang malaking box ng nachos.

There was a note attached to it. Just one word.

Sorry.

Napangiti ako bigla, di ko alam kung bakit. Mukhang alam ko na kung knino to galing.

Dinala ko to sa kwarto at dun ko kinain. I sent Kenneth a msg:

Sayo ba galing ang nachos?

Syempre I wanted to make sure.

I don't wanna assume. My phone lit up and his name appeared on my screen.

I opened his msg.

Yes. Did you like it?

Napangiti na naman ako. Ano ba to.

Hindi ko na siya nireplyan. After a few minutes ay umilaw uli ang phone ko.

I read his msg.

I'm really sorry. I can't stand the thought of you mad at me.

Lalo lang lumawak ang ngiti ko. Naguguluhan na din ako, basta ang alam ko lang

ay masaya ako.