A light In Her Darkness

Chater Eleven - Bad day

Ava's P.O.V

It had been ten days since Dylan appeared in my life and he has kept his promise. He has been here for me, even with him being away the last few days for work he has been phoning, texting and video chatting with me, making sure I was OK. I was still not sure what was going on between us, but that was OK. I had been doing not to bad the last week, well that was until last night. The nightmares came back, the horrors of what my ex did to me. What the other men after him done to me. I woke up sweating and having an anxiety attack; they had been at bay for a few days. I should have known that wouldn't have lasted long. I cut myself badly last night, again something I haven't done in a few days but it is always the same. I have those nightmares, and I wake feeling like I have lost all control again, my way of getting it back? Cutting myself or making myself sick. Last night it was self-harm.

It was mid-afternoon, and I was still in bed, not wanting to move. I felt weak, every part of me was hurting, and I just wanted to disappear. Dylan would be back today. He said he would be over as soon as he was back. I couldn't let him come over not when I was having a bad day; I don't want him seeing me this weak, it would make him run for the hills. I grabbed my phone texting him.

Ava to Dylan: Hey can we reschedule, please? Having one of my awful days and I don't want you seeing me this way? X

I waited for him to reply, and within moments I saw that is what he was doing.

Dylan: What happened baby? Are you OK? Ava I told you I am here for you no matter what xx

Ava: Bad nightmares, never got much sleep. I am exhausted and weak. I will be OK just need some rest xx

Dylan: I am going to come over still and look after you, OK? I won't take no for an answer. Xx

Ava: Dylan, I don't expect you to look after me when I have bad days. You have better things to do. You have a life, and you don't need to spend it looking after me. Xx

I can't expect him to be here for me when I am like this. I wouldn't wish that on anyway especially not him. I waited for him to text back but he never. Instead, he called me. I hesitated, not sure if I should answer it, but decided I should. He doesn't deserve being ignored by me.

"Hi," I whispered tiredly.

"Hey, beautiful. I would rather come and be with you Ava. Tell me what has been going on, please? Did you hurt yourself again?" He asked.

"Yes." I sobbed out.

"Hey, don't cry. Ava, please let me come over? I need to make sure you are OK, plus I have missed you." He whispered.

I found myself smiling a little when he said he missed me. I missed him too. I missed having him to cuddle into at bedtime cause if he was next to me I felt safe. The nightmares never came, and I knew that was cause every part of me felt protected wrapped in his arms.

"I missed you too." I managed to breath out, something I have not said in a long time to anyone.

"I will be over soon, OK? Have you ate today?" He asked.

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Cause the answer to his question was no.

"Ava when was the last time you ate sweetheart?" He asked gently.

"Um," I said.

"Please tell me the truth?" He added.

"Two and a half days ago," I said quietly.

Alannah has been away for a couple of days, so she wasn't here to make sure I ate like she usually does.

"OK. I will stop by the store and get some things. I will make you something, even if it's only something small. You need to eat beautiful." He whispered.

"I know. Sorry. Maybe some soup or something." I said.

"I will make you some homemade chicken noodle soup, I know you like that. I will be there soon, sweetheart." He said.

We said our goodbyes before hanging up. I decided to move out of bed and try not to look like a completed mess when he gets here. I decided to grab a quick shower, put some clothes on and tidy up a little. I pulled a hoodie on, a long-sleeved one to hide my cuts. Yes, he knows I cut, but I don't want him seeing them.

Soon enough there was a knock at the door, Dylan soon appearing with two bags of shopping and a bunch of flowers. He looked up seeing me, the biggest smile on his face. He lay everything down, making his way over to me, pulling me into him straight away and hugging me tightly. I found myself clinging to him, enjoying the warmth of his body and taking his scent in. He always smelt good. I soon felt his warm lips press against my forehead gentle.

"I got you baby. I missed you." He whispered.

I lifted my head to look up at him. I was met with him looking back at me, his beautiful smile on his face. He reached in, stroking my cheek softly. I whimpered, closing my eyes and moving into his touch, kissing the palm of his hand softly.

"I missed you too," I replied, feeling myself blush.

He chuckled, placing his hands on my hips, bringing my body close to his once again. I stood up on my tiptoes since he was a little bit taller than me, placing my hands on his face, reaching in and pressing my lips softly against his. He automatically moaned into the kiss, making me do the same. I have missed his lips. I removed my hands from his face, snaking them around his neck and deepening the kiss, his grip tighten on me as I did. The kiss was slow and gentle; it was making my heart thud in my chest. We pulled apart, only because we needed to catch our breaths. He rested his forehead against mine, his hand soon removing from my hips and landing on my cheek, caressing it.

"You doing, OK?" He whispered.

"Not really." I said sadly, "Drained." I added.

"Let me get these things in the fridge then we can go through, and you can get some rest, OK? I will be right there with you." He smiled.

I smile, nodding my head.

"Oh yes and these are for you, "He said, smiling brightly, handing me the flowers.

"Thank you. They are beautiful. No one has ever bought me flowers." I said.

"Well baby, while I am around you, will get them at least once a week." He said proudly.

I giggled, reaching in and pecking his lips before pulling away. We headed into the kitchen, Dylan putting the things away while I got the flowers into some water. Once we were done, he came up behind me, placing his hands on my hips.

"Come on beautiful let's get you into bed." He said, placing a soft kiss on my neck.

I moaned, nodding my head before he walked me through to my bedroom. I stripped down, pulling one of his tees in that he left here for me cause I liked it, climbing into bed. Dylan soon followed me. As soon as he was next to me, he pulled me in close, wrapping his arms tightly around my body. I snuggled into him, soon feeling his warm lips on my forehead.

"Get some rest sweetheart. I will be here when you wake up, promise. Then I will make us some dinner." He whispered.

I nodded, feeling safe once again with him next to. It never took long before I found myself beginning to drift off. The last thing I heard was Dylan say in a whisper.

"I have always got you, my love...promise."

And I believed the words that were falling from his lips.