A light In Her Darkness

Chapter Nine - Breakfast, opening up and photography

Ava’s P.O.V

Dylan and I were sitting in the same diner from last night or should I say early hours of this morning. He had brought me here for breakfast. We were sat in a booth, looking through menus, Dylan decided already what he wanted…me? I was hoping I could get away with not having anything.

“Ava please, eat something?” Dylan said, making me look up at him, there was a hopeful look in his eyes, begging even, “Even just a little fruit or something, please?” He added.

I sighed, giving him a small nod, a small smile coming onto his lips.

“Thank You.” He said, reaching for my hand.

The waitress came over, taking our orders. Dylan was ordering a fry up, coffee and juice. I, on the other hand, went with a small bowl of fruit and a black coffee. I turned, watching out of the window, getting into my own little world. My mind was in overdrive, thinking about everything that has happened with Dylan in less than twenty-four hours.

“Ava baby you OK?” I heard him say, making me snap out of it.

I turned my attention back to him, nodding. He reached in, stroking my cheek, giving me a small smile.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yes, just thinking that is all.” I smiled, moving into his gentle touch.

He leant across the table, kissing me softly, I automatically smile into his lips. It only lasted a moment before we pulled apart, our breakfast arriving. The waitress sat the fruit down in front of me. I asked for a small bowl; this was not a small bowl. I smiled, thanking her, not wanting to say anything cause it is not her fault. I lifted my coffee, taking a sip of it, trying to bring myself around to eating, I was struggling though. I could feel Dylan watching me, again that begging look in his eyes. I picked a bit up with my fork, slowly sliding it into my mouth. It never tasted too bad, I guess. When Dylan saw that I was eating he finally started on his own breakfast. A silence fell between us, a comfortable one. I leant back on the chair, looking at him. My head tilted to the side, as my eyes trailed his every feature of his face. He was beautiful. I got lost in him, forgetting where we were. I see his brow raise, a smirk creeping on his lips. I think I have been caught.

I slumped down, feeling my full face blush.

“Sorry,” I whispered embarrassedly.

“I don’t mind you looking at Me.” He said winking, making me giggle, “I do it too when you go into your own little world.” He added.

“You do?” I asked.

“Yes. I can’t help myself.” He winked again.

I laughed, shaking my head at him and rolling my eyes. I went to get another bite of my breakfast, realising it was gone. Did I eat all that? When did I do that? I don’t remember.

“Want some more? I will get you some more if you like.” He smiled.

“No, I am OK, thank you.” I smiled.

“I am proud of you for eating all that.” He said, reaching for my hand.

“Now to try to keep it down,” I said under my breath.

“Ava love, you can do this. We will find something to distract you from those thoughts.” He said.

Damn! He heard that he wasn’t meant too. I gave him a small smile, nodding and hoping he was right, but I know it was not going to be that easy, but I never wanted to say that to him. He was looking at me with a hopeful look in his eye, and I never wanted to take that hope away from him. I turned my attention back to my coffee, finishing it off as he finished his own breakfast. I offered to pay the check, Dylan not having none of it.

“Ready to go?” He smiled sweetly at me.

“Yes. Where to next?” I asked.

“Anywhere you want.” He said, “Any suggestions?” He added.

I shrugged, not sure what to suggest. I don’t know what he likes and what he doesn’t. I was easy; I am easily pleased even with the simplest things. He placed his hand on my lower back as we headed out. He removed his hand from my lower back, brushing his fingers against mine, looking at me with a hopeful look in his eyes. I knew what he was wanting. I linked my fingers with his, making him smile at me. I was a little nervous, even with something as simple as him holding my hand. He must have sensed it cause he lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

“Do you like photography?” He asked.

“Yes, love it actually. There is just something about life in photos. I think it is because they never change; they stay the same no matter how much the people in them change. I believe it shows people in many aspects, whether it is at their happiness or their most vulnerable.” I said, smiling, “I find it beautiful.” I added.

“I could not have put it better myself. Do you have a camera cause I have an idea on what we can do?” He smiled.

“No, sadly, I don’t. It is not something I can afford to be honest. I used to have one, it was an amazing one but my ex he broke it one night cause I never gave him what he wanted. He knew it was the only thing that meant something too me so took that away from me, the same way he had took everything.” I said, trying my best not to cry.

It is a memory that haunts my dreams. He was a horrible human being, the first guy I ever got with. He was sweet at first, treated me great but after a few months he changed, became abusive and I was in too deep to getaway. But that night, the night he broke my camera? That was one of the worst. He not only broke my camera, but he also broke my arm too as he forced himself on me. I knew it was wrong, but he had broken me that much I believed when he said he never r***d me because we were together. I know now that was not the case…it was r**e even though we were together cause I never wanted it, I told him no.

“Ava I am sorry you had someone like that in your life. Is he the one hurt you, Ava?” Dylan said, holding my hand tighter.

“He did more than hurt me. He destroyed me. He thought it was OK to do what he wanted to me even though I never wanted him too. He was not the only one, though, there were others after him.” I said, looking at the ground.

Dylan was the only the second person I have ever told that too, only other one that knows is Alannah, it is not something I tend to share with people cause I am ashamed of it…ashamed of myself for letting it happen. I still blame myself for it to this day, and that is two years after I finally managed to leave him.

All of a sudden Dylan stopped, making me do the same. He turned me around to face him, placing his hand on my cheek, stroking it softly.

“Ava what did he do you?” He whispered, a sadness to his eyes when he looked at me.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, not right now. I am not ready, sorry.” I said, feeling a few stray tears slide down my cheek.

Dylan was soon quick to wipe them away as they fell.

“OK, I understand that. Ava, I want you to know you can talk to me about anything? I am here for you whenever you need me, no matter if its day or night, OK?” He said.

“Thank You. Now can we move on, you said you had an idea.” I said, managing a small smile.

“Yes, my idea. Come on we need to go to mine first. I have a spare camera I can give you.” He smiled.

I looked at him, raising my brow at him, wondering what he was up to.

“Today we are going to concentrate on all the beauty in the world…not the bad. Just you, I and the cameras. Come on.” He said, sounding excited.

“It sounds great,” I said, matching his excitement.

He retook my hand, leading us back to his place to get what we needed. I was looking forward to it, maybe make me feel normal even just for a few hours.