Emerald: Omega to Alpha

Chapter 5

The next day, we attended my father’s funeral. Only a few people came; Jessica was one of them. I felt so grateful to see her. We sat next to each other while talking. 

“Sorry for your loss,” Jessica said. After being silent for a while, she continued, “Em, I’ve told the teachers about your father’s death. You can have a day off tomorrow. They’ve given you a permit and also asked me to send their condolences.” 

“Thanks, Jess, but tomorrow I’ll go to school. Since the funeral is today, I don’t have anything to do at home if I skipped school.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “My dad is a practical person. He’d hate to see me doing nothing at home while I could study at school.” I stared at my father’s coffin. “Besides, I need to go to school to help myself, not to keep thinking of him.”

“Well… if you say so….”

“How’s school?” I asked, trying to change the conversation.

“Just as usual. It’s so different since you’re not there. If you need me to talk, call me. I’ll be there for you, Em.” 

Finally, they buried the coffin. My mother and I each put a rose on the tomb. My mother shook hands with those who attended the funeral after praying. At the same time, I returned to my seat next to Jessica.

“Thanks for coming, Jess. It means a lot to me.”

Jessica smiled, then squeezed my shoulder a little. “Hey, that’s what a friend’s for.”

I just nodded without saying anything. I saw some people leave the cemetery. “It’s time for you to go home, Jess. See you tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to accompany you? I can stay much longer if you need me.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, I love it, but it’s a tough day. I need to be alone.”

“Then I’ll go home now. Take care.” Jess hugged me. “See you tomorrow at school.”

I nodded again. After that, I saw Jess walk past me and then shook hands with my mother. After a while, I closed my eyes. Exhaustion embraced me; I was almost asleep. 

“Sweetheart? Emmy?” 

A touch on my shoulder startled me. I opened my tired eyes. “Mom?”

“Let’s go home.”

I didn’t reply. I looked around, then shook my head. “I want to be here for a while. Why don’t you go home first?”

My mother observed me for a few seconds. “Are you sure? I can wait longer if you want.”

“No, mom. I need to be here alone. I’ll see you later at home,” I said, assuring my mother.

My mother finally nodded. “Don’t be too long, sweetheart.” After that, she walked past me. After only a few steps, she turned around as if she wanted to say something, but later my mother changed her mind and continued walking.

I approached my father’s grave. I touched the tomb with my shaky fingers. 

“If only it could be different, dad. I wish you were still here….” Tears ran through my cheek, my chin, and then dropped to the tomb. 

That’s the moment I felt so empty, but also so mad. The problem was I didn’t know how and toward whom I should release my feelings. All just seemed to swirl on my chest, then went up to my head. My sight was blurry. 

Next, I shape-shifted into a wolf. I stood there. I bent my head and kissed the tomb. Afterward, I did nothing, just stared at the grave and squealed a little. 

Just a few minutes after that, there was a call, “Emmy?!”

I turned around to see Jessica stand there with her mouth agape. I thought about what I should do since I couldn’t control how and when I turned into a wolf. Then a realization came to me. On the first occasion, I shifted into a wolf; after fatigue surrounded me, I immediately changed back into a human. However, I hadn’t released my energy yet. So, I needed to do it.

Jessica approached me with intermittent steps. Her gaze seemed hesitant. “I-I saw that, but don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. P-please, don’t hurt me.” Jessica walked a few steps ahead. Later, she reached out her hand and touched my head. 

I howled, then put my head to Jessica’s feet. Jessica knelt, hugged my neck, and patted my head. “Calm down, Em. Everything’ll be alright.”

After maybe three to five minutes, somehow, I shape-shifted back into a human. Since I didn’t move at all, my clothes were still on my body when I shifted back into a human. I hugged Jessica tightly. 

I said with a shaky voice, “Now you know, Jess. I understand if you want to end our friendship, but I beg you not to tell anyone that I’m a werewolf.”

Jessica raised her head to meet my eyes. “What are you talking about? We’re friends! Werewolf or human, it won’t change anything, Em. No matter what, I’ll stick with you unless you don’t want me anymore as your friend.”

“Are you sure, Jess? Weren't you afraid to see me as a wolf?”

“Well, I was shocked! I won’t lie to you, but then as a wolf or as a human, you’re still Emerald, Emmy, my best friend.” Jess still looked deeply into my eyes. “When you’re a wolf, do you recognize me?”

“Of course. Why did you ask?”

“Just curious.” Jessica stopped for a moment as if she thought of something. “If you can recognize me, I should fear nothing. I know you won’t hurt me. I’ve proven it just now.”

“You’re right. I won’t hurt you, Jess.”

“Hey, Em, let’s sit there. My knees are sore.”

I just realized that both of us knelt on the ground. I laughed a little, then, by holding hands with Jessica, I walked to the chair nearby. 

After sitting, I stared at Jessica. “It’s been twice since I shape-shifted into a wolf. It was beyond my control. If anyone knows, I may be in danger.”

Jessica didn’t answer. Instead, she thought for a few moments and then snapped her fingers. “You probably can learn how to do it. I mean to control when and how you want to change. Just think of both events. What was the similarity between them?”

I recalled what happened when I shifted into a wolf. Both happened after my father’s death. “Maybe the sadness is my drive. Well, the loss, the confusion, the anger, the hopelessness, all mixed.”

“Okay, then what’s the factor in changing you back into a human again?”

I pondered for a while and then sighing. “I don’t know. I still feel all the feelings inside me now.”

“Do you feel calmer than before?”

Jess was a genius! “You’re right! When I was calmer on both occasions, it’s when I shifted back into a human.” 

“Hey, Em, my parents are out of town. I’m alone at my house. Do you want to spend a night with me at my house? We can practice your shifting shape. What do you think?”

I nodded fast. “It’s a good idea. I’ll call my mom first.” Quickly, I dialed my mother’s phone. “Mom, it’s Emmy.”

“Sweetheart, do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, mom. Listen, I want to spend a night at Jessica’s house. Since her parents are out of town, I’ll accompany her. Is that okay, mom?”

There was no answer. Then my mother said, “Will it help you to feel better, Em?”

“I think so, mom. At least, we can chat about anything. It'll probably help me to overcome the grief.”

“Then I agree.”

“Thanks, mom. See you tomorrow night. I’ll go to school tomorrow with Jess.”

“Take care, sweetheart. If you want me to pick you up, call me.”

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweety.”

I smiled widely at Jessica. “My mom permitted me. Let’s go!”

After thirty-five minutes, we arrived at Jessica’s house. Her house was two or three times larger than mine. No wonder now it felt so empty. As we entered Jess’s room, it was a feminine room dominated by pink and white. There was a queen-size bed, a study table, a chair, a TV, and a three-door cupboard. She even had a bathroom inside her bedroom.

“Wow! It’s like a hotel!” I shouted. My mouth gaped to see the spacious room. “It’s so beautiful!”

Jessica grinned from ear to ear. “You should spend the night here more often if you like it. I won’t charge you even a dime.”

I laughed when I heard that. It felt great to have a merry laugh after my father’s death. “Okay, count me in. Next time, if I’ve no plans for my weekend, I'll probably come here and bug you. You’ve been warned!”

Both of us were laughing hard.

“My stomach’s aching,” Jess said while touching her stomach.

I was teary since laughing too much.

“Hey, are you okay, Em?” Jessica frowned. 

“I’m… okay, I guess. It’s just…. Everything will never be the same anymore.” My tears were flowing again. “I’ll never see my dad’s smile again. I won’t hear him say, ‘I love you,’ nor will I see him hug and kiss my mom. It hurts so much,” I said while sobbing. 

Jessica held my hand while pulling tissues. “Here.” She even took the entire box and offered it to me.

I took a few sheets of tissues but rejected the box. Then I wiped my tears, yet they kept flowing from my eyes. 

Jessica then put the tissue box in front of me. “I won’t say I understand since I didn’t experience it myself. But I know what it feels like to lose someone you love deeply. Do you remember Mimi, my cat?”

I nodded while wiping my tears. “You told me Mimi died last year.”

“Yeah, it’s the toughest time for me. My parents are not like yours; I mean, they don’t show affection so warmly or openly to their children. Somehow, I always feel something’s missing in my life because of that. Mimi helped me a lot to cope with it. When she died, I felt like I lost my sister.”

“Didn’t you tell me you had a sister too?”

“Jane? Sure, but she’s five years older than me. Sometimes she’s even more like my parents than my sister.”

I hugged Jessica. “Hey, Jess, you can think of me as your sister if you want. Since I have no siblings, it’ll be great if I can have one.”

“Well, why not? Since I’m three months younger than you, I’ll be your little sister,” Jessica replied. She offered her pinky finger to me. “Sister?”

I linked my pinky finger too to Jess’s. “Sister.”

Jess smiled. “Thank you, sis. Now, I don’t feel so lost anymore.”

“So do I, sis. So do I.”