Raising Tasha

Tasha

This is it! I was finally finishing school!

My last paper was about to end, only half an hour left! My late night revision clearly helpful, I was breezing through the test! I knew the answers to all these.

Don't give me lectures on how a good night sleep was crucial for the baby's development blah blah blah... I tried that. Last night for some reason I just could not fall sleep, I could not take sleeping pills because if you didn't know yet I was pregnant and those were dangerous. So what did I do instead? I stayed up studying, this was my lemonade from life's lemons and I am glad I did.

“Argh!" I wince in discomfort, my waist feels really sore. I try to massage it to alleviate the pain, adjust my sitting position thinking its probably just a cramp from sitting too long.

The pain seems to go away for and I get back in to the zone, writing even faster. Something was clearly not right but I couldn't not finish my paper. My future was riding on this. My scholarship period ended on this day. No mess ups were allowed.

The last question! Victory! Sweet sweet victory! I could taste it! Feeling giddy I turn to the last page only to yelp in pain, earning looks disapproval. I compose myself hurrying to finish.

My pants are wet! Why are they wet? There is no way I peed myself, I'm sure of it but even if it was piss it didn't really matter the exam must go on. So I put my head down and went on writing, bearing the pain and the wetness.

“Claire! ARE YOU DUMB?!" a voice yelled in the quiet examination room. I wasn't sure who I had offended so ignored.

Pain! The sharpest pain I have ever felt in my life wrecked through my abdomen making me almost double over. Sweat dripping down my face, I could not hold my pen. This third round of pain was something I could not ignore.

I try to stand, to go to the invigilator to request to leave only to slip on the wet patch on the floor. Then it hit me! A light bulb moment, my water had just broken. I was in active labour and I had been too focused on my exam to think along those lines. My expected due date was on the 2nd of September and even though I had been told may deliver earlier I did not put it in mind.

Chairs screeching on the floor, the examination room in chaos someone breaks my fall, supporting me across the room and out into the hallway.

“Took you long enough," I realize the school nurse is talking to me. “Mr. Owembi called me the minute you started wincing in pain, but you, like an i***t sat there even longer!"

Looking at me like I had gone crazy she continues, “how the hell did you not realize your water was broken? I have seen crazy strong girls in my time, but you my dear you take the care"

I almost laugh at myself for being so oblivious, I was supposed to be smart! Well, I was book smart hence the scholarship duh!

Into the ambulance and quickly whisked to the school hospital reality comes crash in. The little demon was coming! To ruin my life? maybe but my bun was already baked enough and ready to get taken out of the oven. There were no take backs, a human child was going to be dependent on me! I was supposed to take care of some one.

The universe was clearly high because I could barely take care of myself as it were. Atleast I did not have to pay for the hospital bill, thank small mercies for studying in a public institution that had it's own hospital.

Whoever said labour for younger physically active women would not be as painful YOU ARE A f*****g LIAR! DAMN YOU! I could not sit still.

Walking around the hospital halls because a nurse told me to, something about making contractions and dilating quicker. Who knows whether she was telling the truth because I did not go far.

Each room I passed by had a couple, a husband, a boyfriend, a parent all helping their loved ones through the pain offering back massages, supporting them to walk down the halls.

What about me? I was alone in there about to experience a life changing event all by myself. I know you are wondering where Molly is, she had gone home for the long May-August holiday. Her parents would not let her stay with no good reason and she could not tell them I was expecting. We had agreed she would be back on the 1st of September but here was little demon, trying to throw herself in to the the world on the 25th of August.

“Anyone know how to tell a baby to come yet?" I was not ready. I was panicking really bad, all the pep talks I had given myself for the past nine months clearly did not help me one bit. I was doomed! Doomed I tell you.

Some where in the midst of my pain and panic I feel the greatest urge to take a number two but atleast this time around my brain is working and I remember being told about crowning from one of the pre natal classes I took. The registrar had signed me up for a couple of classes.

Laying on the table, ready to push, ready to bring a human in to this mean forsaken world only with nurses supporting me, cheering me on. I think they may have already noticed I was alone and were worried I would be too distraught.

I don't even remember what I did or how I did it but a little cry feels the room before a warm little body is place on my chest and the bottled up emotions come rushing out. Tears streaming down my face! I did it! I really did! I made her!

Newborn babies are not the most good looking thing in this world but to me, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever laid my on and every thing just clicked in please.

This was it. The beginning of our forever. The creation of a dynamic duo.

Welcome to the world, my Tasha.