Betraying My Crush, Love With Jork

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: CAN ONE HEART BEAT FOR TWO?

Rolland's P

"Can one heart beat for two? Two bestfriends?" I ask myself for the upteenth time since I've layed on my bed

I've been having sleepless nights since I came on this personal vacation

I thought it would help me get my mind off things, but here I am, thinking about Olivia and Grace

The later being my girlfriend and the former her bestfriend

I don't know what to do honestly

I mean I love her

I love Grace so much and I love being romantic with her, but Olivia

Olivia just.

She just knows how to be in sync with me everytime, without even trying

Her favourite food is same as mine, favourite colour, favourite book, favourite everything

We have the same hobbies, same occupation and everything

But I have a girlfriend

A girlfriend that doesn't have anything in common with me and rarely goes on dates with me

A girlfriend that is looking forward to me celebrating our monthly anniversaries

Literally, all Grace wants is the public approval, just like her mom

I won't blame her since she is an actress and Grace's dream is to be like her mom who recieves best actress awards every year

I support her one hundred percent

But it just saddens me that all she does is never for me and all I give is the best for her

Which she never appreciate

But Olivia

She just

The sound of my iPhone 14 brings me out of my thoughts

What in the world, how come she is calling me

Why so she calling me

Does she know I'm thinking about her or what

For the first time since I've known Olivia, I find myself getting nervous over a cal

We call eachother very often by the way, to share inspiration and all, but

The ringing phone cuts in again and I stretch my hand to my bed side table

I clear my throat before picking up

"What's up Olly." I say with a cheerful voice as soon as I pick up

Olivia's P

I've said it a thousand times and even more that I will never date a fellow author

I will never fall in love with one, in fact

Because who knows, their minds might just be as twisted as mine

And when he said he liked people like Wednesday Adams, I felt my heart beat really fast and hard against my rib cage, because I see myself in her

Does that mean he likes me too

Does that mean we are compatible and he would start to see me as a woman? Or maybe he does already

Goddamnit

This is a sin

A f*****g sin against everyone, against my best friend and even against myself

But I can't help it

I can't help but want him for myself

Grace doesn't care about him anyway

All she ever does is ask him for gifts and enjoy his romance which she doesn't even reciprocate

How is she so selfish

Just how does she manage to not notice how much he is in love with her

My bestfriend has always been like that though

But I don't blame her

She has every right to be obnoxious since she has everything

Unlike me

Mom and dad despite everything that they went through to get together just got a divorce

And with mom being a divorce lawyer, she managed to get as much as she could from dad

And since I was never her favourite child's she left me with him

So now, it's my dad and me living in our old home

On the outside, everything is okay and I can simply explain it as mom going on a vacation with Tanya and Tori

But what do I say when they ask why I didn't go with my two sibling

Or when they ask why my dad rarely comes home and when he does he comes he heavily drun

No one knows about their divorce yet and I'm sure mum hasn't even told Grace's mom who manages to be her bestfriend

With my life crumbling apart, I can't help but think about Rolland

Rolland is Grace's boyfriend but I can't help but want him to show me as much love as he does to Grace

Even if it's just a little bit

He doesn't have to be as obsessed with me as he is with Grace

But it would be nice if he would hold my hands too when we go to classes together

It so happens that we are in the same department and have the same major and minor courses together

It won't hurt him to just hold my hand to class and sit with me, will i

I'm a good person, but all the bad things keep happening to me

Why?

Why did Charles decide to break up with me just when I started to see our forever

We were good together, weren't we

School resumes tomorrow and I don't know how it's gonna be like

Charles broke up with me during the holiday and I'm just scared which isn't strang

I'm scared of literally everything, but everyone only seems to see the brave side of me

Will things be awkward between us now

Does he have another girl

Who is she

Is she also in this school or did they meet online

I need someone to talk to right now else I might just lose my mind

But again, my bestfriend is not available and can't be my confidant

She probably won't get me, because she never does

The most she provides is a listening ear and afterwards just continues with her bitchy self

And right now, even though she knows how sickly and fearful I can get when I'm alone, she hasn't bothered to call for the last twenty four hour

She and her family went together on a ship cruise to celebrate the new year and we haven't seen eachother since the past week

But that's quite understandable since it's not her fault that my parents got a divorce

What do I do

Who do I cal

I pick up my phone and swipe through my contact list, but all that's here is that of my parents and my clients who I had to meet physically

By the way, I'm an hacker, a grey hat hacker, so yes, I'm a computer genius

It's something only I know abou

I have managed to hide it from everyone including Grace

It's just that little secret that I am able to hold unto

It's a secret because it feels like mine

And I feel good about the secrecy because it makes me feel like I have something to myself

If my mom and charles don't want me and Rolland only sees me as a friend, there is at least something that wants me

I sigh and munch on my chips which I fried about four hours ago

The crunchy sound echoes through my dark and empty room as I scroll up and down my contact list

I don't realize for how long I have been doing this, but it dawns on me that my thumb keeps tapping one number

And when I take my time to take note of whose number it is, I'm not too surprised

It's Rolland'

It's eleven fifty two, I know one thing for sure and that is that he is awake

I'm pretty sure of that because he usually gets inspiration to write around this tim

I'm sure he isn't writing though

Except it's an idea for a new book, because he left all of his drafts at home

I wonder how the vacation is going for hi

He must be having fun

I'm sure what's on his mind is Grace at this moment

If only he could dedicate just a minute of his time to thinking about me too

There is no way I would know if he does that though

But I'm sure he doesn't

Should I call him or should I not

I ask my chips as I pick them from the bowl and drop them on my duvet

Now there is two left

Should I not or should I call him

Call him it is then

But I can't help but feel nervous

What do I say when I call?