Deadbeat Mother

Abandoned

~Evan~

I swear I’ve been out of it since Natalia told me the news. I can’t believe it. I used to wish for this, but over the years, I’ve let it go. Now I find out I could come face to face with the woman who destroyed my world. She has made it impossible to trust or to love ever again.

Cooper’s mother was someone I had been with since we were young. We gravitated toward one another because of our similar backgrounds. My mom died in childbirth, so I never met her. My father landed in jail shortly after, and I remember being told that another prisoner killed him. No other family could be found, so I had to stay in foster care. I was bounced around from him to home before landing in a group home until I turned 18.

Living in foster care wasn’t ideal. Some of the other kids were extremely angry and aggressive. Some of the adults didn’t care about the kids; they just wanted the money. Those homes were the most dangerous. I still haven’t figured out if they were more dangerous than the group homes.

She and I had a similar experience, and we bonded over that. I never thought I’d have a chance to actually be with her. She was the most beautiful girl in our class, and every guy wanted her. I wasn’t popular at all, so I didn’t think she’d look twice at me. When we got together, we were inseparable.

When we turned 18, we got a place together. It definitely wasn’t much, and it was in a bad part of town, but it was ours, and we had each other. We both worked and when we weren’t working, we were with each other. We would hang out with Natalia a lot and a few other friends we had from school.

Life was amazing, and we settled into a routine. We made plans to save money and travel, each having a list of places we wanted to go. She always talked about being a model and would pose for very small, local ads here and there. Those were the best paydays because we always ate somewhere extravagant on those paydays.

My life changed for the better at 21. I can still remember when she came home and showed me the test. She had been feeling sick for days and didn’t know why. We were trying to get the money together so she could see a doctor. She went to work and came home that night, test in hand. I was ecstatic. I had dreamed of being a dad, and I couldn’t wait to be a dad to our child.

When she had the baby, we struggled a bit. I took on an extra job just to have the funds to care for Cooper. She still worked and would take different modeling jobs, but the schedule was too hectic with our newborn at home. When Cooper was 1, our lives changed again.

*Flashback*

It’s been a long day, and I can’t wait to get home to my girl and my son. Life is hard right now, trying to keep ahead of the bills and caring for a toddler, but having them in my life is worth the pain. I know we will get a break one day, and things will get better.

Outside of our building is a limo. Out here, you can have your cab ride in a limo, but that’s usually around Pier 39 and the other Piers with attractions. I’ve never seen one in this neighborhood. I shake it off and head up to our place.

I open our apartment door and can hear Cooper screaming bloody murder. His cries are heartbreaking and scary. He never cries like that, and I worry something is wrong. I rush into our place to run into two big men. They are standing in our meager living room with their hands at their sides. Cooper is in his playpen, red-faced. I don’t see her anywhere.

I go to the playpen and grab Cooper. I place him on my shoulder and rub his back, trying to soothe him as best as I can. I find the men looking at me, but neither has moved. “What’s going on? Who are you?” I get no response from them.

“Evan, is that you?” Her sweet voice almost calms me until I remember two random men in my living room.

I walk into the bedroom to find a half-full suitcase on the bed. She walks out of the bathroom with a handful of items, throwing them into the suitcase. She walks over to the dresser, pulls items from her drawers, and places them into the suitcase. “What’s going on here? Who are those men?” She zips up the suitcase and looks at me.

“I’m leaving.” Her voice is tight and quiet. I can see the pain in her eyes, but I don’t know why.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m leaving. I can’t live like this anymore. I deserve better, and you are in no position to give it to me.” I can feel my heart leap in my chest, and my breathing becomes erratic. This can’t be real; it must be a nightmare.

Cooper has quieted in my arms, and I check his face. He’s sleeping, so I gently put him in the crib. I rush after her, grabbing her arm before she exits the room. “Shouldn’t we talk? What the hell is going on? Where are you going?” She shrugs me off and stumbles out of the room.

“I already told you. I want more than this.” She hands her suitcase to one of the men.

“What about our son? What about me? I thought you loved me.”

“I….I did, before. He will do better with you. Goodbye.” She walks out of the door with the men in tow. I drop to my knees and place my hand on my heart. I swear I could feel it breaking into a million pieces.

*End of Flashback*

I still have no idea why she left. I don’t know what I did or said to make her leave us. I used to imagine she would walk back and tell me that she had some sort of tumor or something that altered her mind. That never happened, and I’ve been focused on raising Cooper.

I tried calling a few times, but her number was immediately disconnected. I asked anyone I could think of, but no one knew where she went. After a while, I vowed that I would never give her access to me or my child again. About a year later, I saw her picture. I saw what she left us to do, and I was enraged. I couldn’t believe we meant so little to her that she’d leave us for that.

I look at the television again and feel the same pain in my chest. I never really thought this day would come, and I’m not prepared. I look at her picture and feel love mixed with anger. My ex…..the mother of my son…..Neela is back in town.