Deadbeat Mother

Who Are You?

~Neela~

I escaped an aggressive joining with my husband by doing precisely what he said; I gave myself to him. I didn’t want to be with him at all, but I know what denying him would mean. That has been much of my life these last few years, doing what I don’t want to keep the peace. No one should have to live like that, but here I am.

I was extremely cautious as we got up in the morning and got ready for the day. Much to my surprise, Steven followed me to get ready for the media event. He hovered while they snapped and pictured. He stayed close while they interviewed Nokio and me. His hired thugs stayed near as well.

I’m led into a back room with a table and a few chairs. I take a seat while Steven sits next to me. His muscle stands behind me, and I feel suffocated. The door opens, and Nokio walks in after two other women. He sits across from me, and I watch one of the women lean down to him. He must have whispered something because the woman stands upright and looks at Steven. “You are not needed. We will let you know when we are done.” I glance at Steven from the side of my eye and see his jaw tick.

“I’m Neela’s husband and manager. I will stay where she is.”

“Nokio wants to speak with her alone. You need to wait outside, and we will let you know when they are done.” Steven’s jaw ticks again and again. He is just getting angrier, and I know this will go badly for me.

“I’m not leaving.” I remain seated and keep my mouth closed. I don’t want to risk Steven going off, and I don’t want to be fired. The woman talking says nothing else; the other woman has been on the phone this entire time. A phone rings, and I watch Steven answer. He doesn’t speak, but his jaw continues to tick. Steven stands up and motions to his muscle to leave the room. Steven leans to me, pressing his lips to my ear. “We will discuss this later.” He stands up and leaves the room.

The more vocal of the two women looks at Nokio and then at me. “We will leave you to talk.” I watch them walk out of the room and close the door. I’m usually good at getting along with the designers, but I’m extremely nervous. Nokio is considered a design genius by many circles. He has been called eccentric, arrogant, and rude. I don’t like feeding into idle gossip, so I have formed no opinions.

“Who are you?” I’m startled. I wasn’t expecting that question, and I don’t really know how to answer it.

“Wh…..what do you mean?” Nokio leans forward and rests his elbows on the table.

“Do you know why I wanted to work with you?” I slightly shrug my shoulders. My voice seems to be lost. “You intrigue me.”

“How so?” A grin graces his face.

“You appeared out of thin air. In this industry, we see a lot of the same faces. Usually, when we find a stand-out star, we’ve seen them somewhere before. This industry may have many, but it is a small world.” Nokio sits back in his chair. “One day, we woke up, and you were everywhere. You weren’t just everywhere, but you were married to a man whose family owns a major company.” I swallow thickly.

“I started small like others.” Nokio laughs.

“Please don’t think I’m accusing you of sleeping your way to your spot. I know better than that. I saw some local things you did in the past, but the bridge to fame is nonexistent. So I just have to wonder: who are you?” This has never happened to me before, and I don’t see it as being a good thing. No one knows the truth about me, and I’m pretty sure that should remain the case. What do I do here, though? What if me telling my story makes or breaks me? I can’t deny him if it will lose me my position.

“I’m Neela, of course. I’m a model.” Nokio sighs.

“I need complete honesty and transparency when I work with my models. That’s why I’m extremely selective and only come around every so often. I need to know who I’m working with and that’s non negotiable. Would you like to tell the CEO of Paxton Industries that he will be out millions or should I?” I can feel the fear rising and my stomach turning. I’m starting to feel really sick. I’m being backed into a corner, and I’m not sure what the right move would be.

Saying that I’m stunned wouldn’t accurately describe my state. I’m not moving, can’t speak, and am barely breathing. Nokio stands and fishes his phone out of his pocket. “I guess I will be the one to tell him.” Nokio’s fingers move across his phone before he pauses. “You wouldn’t have to worry about your story getting out. That’s why I sent everyone away. This would have been between me and you.” The room goes silent, and the air gets thicker. After some time, Nokio sighs, and his fingers move again.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m a mom.” Silence. The silence stretches, and it starts to feel awkward. I crack an eye open, and Nokio is staring at me with his mouth slightly open. “I have a son that I haven’t seen in years. Yes, I was doing light work years ago. When I was in school, I considered modeling, but I got pregnant, and it wasn’t that vital. I was enjoying my life at the time. My boyfriend and my baby, just perfect.”

Nokio plops in his chair, his eyes pleading for me to continue. I stand up and start to pace. “I was approached by Steven one day. He said he had seen some of my work and was interested. I still don’t know how that could be. Nothing I was doing was big enough to have come across his desk. He didn’t just want me to model; he wanted me. I told him I wasn’t interested, and regarding the modeling, I couldn’t be away from home like that.” I stop moving and hang my head. “I thought it was over, but he approached me again. He said that he wanted me and the modeling would be a perk. I told him again that I couldn’t do it.” I turn and sit back in my chair. Nokio is leaning on the table, captivated. “The third approach was the worst. He had pictures of me, my boyfriend, and my child. He said that if I disagreed, my family would pay. I thought he was lying, but my boyfriend came home that day frazzled because he was run off the road. He said it was some crazy driver, but I got a text saying things could be worse.” I swipe my thumb under my eye, catching the falling tear. “I had to give up my life, love, and child for their safety. I packed up my things with my child crying and my boyfriend asking me why. I was put in a car and driven to a chapel. We were married right then and there. After, I started to do shoots for the company, and you know the rest.”

“Is it a good life?” I laugh.

“I’m alive.” I look up to see Nokio frowning at me.

“That isn’t what I asked. Do you have a good life? Do you see your child?” I couldn’t contain the tears then.

“I haven’t seen my son in years. My life isn’t something I’d wish on anyone else. I have opportunities that others may not, but they aren’t worth what I had to give up.” I could tell him about the abuse, the violence. I’m tempted to say it, but I can’t. Something is holding me back.

“You’re from here, aren’t you?” I nod, my throat too thick with emotion to speak. “Let me help you.” I shake my head.

“You can’t help me. Steven didn’t even want me to come out here because of my past. If he were to find out that I’m trying to contact people, it could get bad. I’m fine. I get through okay.” Nokio reaches across the table and places his hand on mine.

“Please let me help you. Steven will never know. I want to help you find happiness. Your pictures are beautiful, but I could always see the sorrow and despair hiding behind your eyes. In person, it’s 1000x stronger. Your heartbreak is breaking mine. Please…….let me help you.” An angry knock sounds on the door before I could answer.

“I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I want my wife, now!” Nokio squeezes my hand, then walks to the door and pulls it open. Steven motions to me, and I slowly stand up. I walk to the door, trying to keep my face neutral.

“I can’t wait to work with your Neela.” Nokio pats my arm, and I nod at him as I walk to my loving husband.