Deadbeat Mother

Shower Antics

*TRIGGER WARNING*

~Neela~

I shoot up, gagging. A hand finds my back and starts to pat it. I open my eyes and see Steven sitting beside me on the bed. I take a breath and swallow my gagging reaction. That’s why I thought I was going to die. Steven smells like liquor, smoke, cheap perfume, and s*x. That combination is almost like poison.

Once I’m sure that I have a hold of myself, I give him a slight smile. “How was your night, love?”

“It was good, but I missed you though.” Yeah, I’m sure he missed me while that woman was bouncing up and down on his d**k. I smile sweetly at Steven, making sure my expression is as loving as possible.

“I missed you too.” Steven leans into me, and his stench gets stronger. S**t, he’s going to kiss me! I can’t stomach that; if I show my disgust, my morning will be hell. Before he’s able to connect to me, his phone rings. I internally let out a sigh of relief. My phone rings, and I reach over to grab it, but not before Steven picks it up to check the caller ID. He tosses the phone to me and leaves the room. I roll my eyes as hard as I can and answer the call.

“Hey, Neela. I plan to be there within the hour. Nokio wants you to meet the buyer so she can get your measurements.” I see Steven poke his head in the room, and I know he’s listening to my call. I just hope that Mia picks up on my cues.

“That’s great Mimi. I will shower and be ready for you. Oh yeah, I checked and I do have extra tampons. I will have a few for you.”

“Uh, oh. O….okay, thanks.” I hang up and place my phone back on the nightstand. I need to shower and dress. I will put a few tampons into my makeup bag, and there should be no issues there. Let’s just hope Steven’s so out of it from last night that he doesn’t question anything.

I throw the covers back and make my way to the bathroom. I do my business and get the shower running. It’s a nice bathroom, I have to say. Everything here is marble, a grayish marble with swirls of gold. The marble on the ground is white with swirls of gray. The shower is big enough to fit a few people, and there are built-in seats and multiple shower heads to get every inch of your body. It’s a bathroom I would love to have for my own, but I learned long ago that what I want doesn’t matter.

The house we live in, that was all Steven. I didn’t want such a big house, especially when it was just the two of us. I know he didn’t want to have kids with me, and I couldn’t bring myself to procreate with him. Steven refused to wear condoms, though, and wouldn’t sign off on birth control pills. He was afraid that they would make me gain weight.

He scheduled an appointment for me to get a partial hysterectomy. He said that since he never wanted kids, it would make more sense just to take my uterus out altogether. I was devastated. I always hoped I would get away from him and be lucky enough to have another child one day. The doctor he paid to do the procedure ended up sick right before. He sent someone else in to do it, and she took pity on me. It was one of my luckiest days since I started this horrid life. She put in an IUD but told him it was a partial hysterectomy. I convinced Steven to make her my doctor, telling him I felt more comfortable with a woman. So far, the lie has stuck, and I pray it continues.

I step into the shower, letting the warm water fall over me. I close my eyes and replay the pictures from the card. I feel the tears fall, but no one would know the difference with the shower running. My sweet Cooper is so big. He looks so happy, and I’m so glad about that. I always feared what would become of him with his mother disappearing so abruptly. I would cry myself to sleep, imagining the horror that would befall him. Evan has done an amazing job, and that makes my heart swell. The thoughts about Evan quickly cause my heart to break. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved, and my heart hurts every time I think about how that love was ripped from me.

I hear the shower open, and my fear climbs. I had hoped I’d be able to have a shower alone and get on with my day. Steven’s arms snake around me, and he pulls me to his front, his erection hard against my body. “I’ve missed you.” My body shivers, but it’s not because of passion or desire.

Steven turns me around and pushes me down on my shoulder. I slowly fall to my knees, the stream of water hitting the back of my head. Steven pumps his c**k in front of my face and taps my lips with his tip. I don’t want to do this, and I have to swallow the bile that wants to escape. I can smell perfume and s*x coming from his d**k. There’s even some lipstick stained on it. He didn’t even have the decency to shower or wipe himself down after being with someone else.

My mouth hasn’t opened, and I’m praying for something to interrupt us. I know I won’t be that lucky, but I hold out hope anyway. Steven grabs the corners of my jaw and squeezes them. “Open up.” The pain makes me open my mouth slightly, and that’s all he needs. Steven rams himself into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat, and causing me to gag.

Steven moans and begins to shove himself into my mouth. His hand moves down to my neck and holds on tightly, but not too tight that I can’t breathe. I try to imagine myself anywhere else right now, not wanting to be present during this. I should have known that something like this would happen. I should have gotten up early and been ready to go before he got back. It may not have stopped this assault, but I might have been able to push it off until tonight, allowing me to figure something else out.

Steven’s hand tightening on my throat pulls me out of my thoughts. I’m having trouble breathing, so I have to do so through my nose. That sucks because he stinks. Steven is shoving himself into me harder and harder, and I’m gagging each time. I just want it to be over. His erratic movements continue, and he starts to moan. I know he’s getting close. I shut my eyes as he shoves himself into my mouth so hard that I almost throw up. It’s in my throat, but I will have hell to pay if I let it come out. Steven is emptying himself into my mouth, and I know the only way I can get up is to swallow him. I shut my eyes tight and swallow, allowing the throw-up and his s*men to travel back down my throat. Right now, at this very moment, I want to die. If I said this was the most degrading thing I’ve had to do, I’d be lying, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

Steven helps me up and kisses me on the cheek. He hands me the sponge and body wash, standing with his legs spread and hands on the shower wall. I begin to pour body wash on the sponge and gently wash him. Big tears run down my face as I allow myself to cry silently.