Deadbeat Mother

The Morning After

~Natalia~

I can’t believe he’s just staring at me like he doesn’t know who I am. I waited all night for Evan to come back into the club. I planned to talk to him about everything and finally put my feelings out there. I even went out back and looked for him, but he wasn’t there. We took a Lyft to the club so we could both drink; he didn’t want to drink, but I insisted he not leave me to drink alone. Evan had to have taken a ride back to his place. I even called and texted him, getting no response.

I push past Evan and walk into his place. I look around the room, trying to find remnants of a person, but there’s nothing. I turn back to Evan, watching him close the door. “WELL?!”

“Keep your voice down. Cooper is still asleep.” I sigh out of frustration. I want to say ‘f**k that’ or ‘talk to me now,’ but I love Cooper and wouldn’t do that to him.

“If you wanted to leave so badly, why didn’t you text me? Hell, you could have answered when I called you a million times.” Evan looks genuinely confused and walks to the coffee table. He picks up his phone and taps on it.

“I have no idea when it died.” He throws it on the couch and lets his body follow the phone. Evan is laid out like he just went ten rounds. “Look, I didn’t get any of your calls or texts. I did leave the club, and I’m sorry for not telling you. It was……it was a long night.” It seems like there’s something he’s not telling me, but I don’t want to press him right now.

I sit on the couch next to Evan and slap his leg so he will give me more space. He grumbles and scoots closer to the side of the couch. “Are you okay?” Evan grunts but doesn’t speak. I sigh. “We should talk.”

“About?”

“About last night…” Evan shifts on the couch but remains lying down.

“It was a club, what else is there to say?” My mouth flies open. He can’t be f**king serious right now. There’s no way that he forgot the kiss; there’s just no way.

“Are you….are you saying you forgot?” Evan moves the arm that was covering his eyes to peek at me. He moves his arm back and sighs.

“Oh, you mean the fact that you drank too much and kissed me. Don’t worry about it. I will say I was a bit surprised though. I thought you could hold your liquor better than that. Maybe you forgot to eat before we went. Don’t worry about it though, consider it water under the bridge.” Evan nudges me with his foot, and my anger shoots through the roof.

I hop off the couch and start to pace. Evan doesn’t even notice I’m in distress, and I think that’s fueling my anger in a whole new way. I made a move, I kissed him, and he insists that it was a drunken mistake?! What the entire f**k?! “That makes me wonder….” I stop pacing and look at Evan. I’m ready to scream and cry; I want to punch him in the face.

“You wonder what?” My jaw is clenched as I try to contain my anger for the moment.

“If you were drunk enough to kiss me, what other mess did you get into?” Evan drops his arm and looks at me with concern. I can feel the anger leave my body, and it’s replaced by shame. Even though I wasn’t so drunk that I kissed Evan, I did get f**ked up later on. When I realized that Evan wasn’t coming back, when I couldn’t find him, I sat at the bar and got blitzed.

*Flashback*

“Give me another.”

“I think you’ve had enough.” I look at the bartender, ready to let him have it. He has no idea what I’ve been through tonight. How dare he try to dictate how much I can drink. I hand on

“I’ll watch the lady. Why don’t you pour her another drink, on me?” I look up to see who my knight in shining armor is, and my heart sinks. I definitely didn’t want to run into this man at any time. “I have to say, you are looking exceptionally good tonight. Where…” He looks around the bar and behind us. “Where is that man of yours?” I can feel my body deflate, and he smirks at me. I hate that I’m so easy to read. “Still haven’t tied him down, huh? That’s a shame. You should really take a page out of my book. I’ve had Neela locked down for years now.” I roll my eyes and throw my drink back.

“I don’t need to take any tips from you. I got this, trust me.” Steven throws his head back and laughs. He isn’t as steady as I’ve seen him in the past; I guess he had a lot to drink himself. I continue to throw drinks back, wanting to dull the pain of rejection.

I feel a warm hand on my leg, and it trails up to my core. The alcohol messes with my senses, and I can feel my core heating up. I lean into Steven’s touch, much to my dismay. If I was alcohol-free, I wouldn’t even bother. I’ve been here before and didn’t want to revisit it. Then again, I thought I would get some tonight and got my body prepared for such. Would it really be so bad to bed Steven again?

I part my legs slightly, and Steven’s fingers travel the rest of the way. His finger brushes my core, and I practically melt. I down the last of my drink and open my legs wider. I’m ready for more, I guess. No point in denying myself someone who is ready to deliver. I lean in and pull Steven’s collar toward me. “Maybe we should get out of here.”

*End of Flashback*

Needless to say, I didn’t wake up alone this morning. Steven was sprawled out on my bed, and we were both completely naked. I realized what we did last night, and I blanched. The sober me knows what a bad idea this was and really wanted to scald the drunk me for being such a slut.

I look at Evan and know that I don’t need to let him know what happened. “Nothing happened. I had a few more drinks and went home.” Not a total lie. “I was too angry to do anything else.”

“Angry?” Evan sits up. “You didn’t need to be angry about kissing me. I told you not to worry about it.” I sigh and throw my head back.

“F**k Evan, why are you so dense?!” I bring my head back down and look at him. He doesn’t look as confused as I thought he would. It almost looks like he’s pleading with me not to go any further, but that just can’t be. “I wasn’t drunk when I kissed you. I was trying to tell you how I feel; how I’ve felt about you since we were in school. I……” Here it goes. It’s now or never.

“Natalia…” I take a deep breath.

“I….”

“Don’t Natalia.”

“I love you.” It was too late when I heard him say not to. We spoke at the same time, and I wish I could take it back. I’m mortified, and I can’t take it back.

I stumble backward, looking for the best thing to do or say. I need to get myself out of this. I can’t believe I was so stupid. “Aunty Tally!” I turn and see Cooper running toward me. I drop to my knees and embrace him, wishing I could erase the last couple of minutes. “Are you here to take me to school?” I swallow and look at Evan. He barely nods, and I look back down at Cooper.

“Of course, I would love to spend time with my little guy.” I take his hand and walk with him to his room, doing everything I can to avoid Evan’s gaze.