Deadbeat Mother

What Did I Do?

~Natalia~

My stomach instantly churns at the sight of her. Truthfully, when her name was brought up for this job, I hoped it wouldn’t happen. I was expecting Steven to shut that idea down instantly. He always vowed to keep her out of San Francisco at all costs.

I take her in, and I want to scream. Why is she so beautiful? She has always been the girl that all the boys wanted, and I couldn’t stand it. What made it worse was her personality. She’s always so nice and humble. She can talk to anyone about anything, making them feel comfortable instantly. It’s f**king annoying to always have to measure up to someone like that.

I didn’t even like her in school. I started to hang out with them because I had a crush on Evan. At the time, no one was romantically involved; we were all friends. I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. One minute, Evan was this mousy guy who used to be in the group's background; the next, he was involved with the most popular person in the group. I never saw it coming, and it happened while I was trying to find the words to tell him how I felt.

I continued to stick around because I was waiting for my opportunity. They both saw me as a close friend even though I had my own motives for being around. I played the game to the best of my ability and kept praying for my chance.

One night, I went with Neela to some photo shoot. She was doing modeling work on the side, which may have been right before she got pregnant. I really can’t remember; that time is a jumble. I was lost in my feelings for Evan and used men and booze to try to cope. I just remember this guy chatting me up at the shoot, and I was swooning. He looked like a million dollars, and I wanted to know more.

Steven’s easily 6’2 with a slim but muscular build. His skin tone matches the shake of milk chocolate, and his skin is always glowing. He keeps his hair cut short and waves all over his head. He always carried himself like he ran every room he walked into. I was immediately drawn in, and I was hoping that I could entice him somehow. He took me out a few times, and I was thrilled. After we slept together the first time, I found out what he really wanted.

He asked me all about Neela and her life. I was sick and devastated. I may have started to hate her then, or maybe I’ve always hated her. I’m really not sure about that. I remember him leaving and thought I’d never see him again. I was wrong because he popped up while she was pregnant. I remember he came to me, and, yeah, I slept with him again. What can I say? The questions kept coming about Neela, and it pissed me off.

The next time he came, the baby had been born. That’s when we came up with the deal we have. I would help him get to her, and he would keep her away from her. He tried to approach her himself, but she wasn’t having it. She was always devoted to Evan. I have no idea what made her go, but I’m going to guess that the promise of money and fame is what did it. Either way, the best day of my life was when she left the city, yet now here she is. “I know I called her a buyer, but it isn’t that simple. She’s our producer for all of this.”

“Hey, Natalia, how have you been?”

“So you know the buyer.” I plaster on a fake smile and turn to the nobody standing with Neela.

“That’s fashion producer.” I turn and look at Neela, quickly removing my work smile. “It was a long time ago. I don’t know that I’d say we really know each other.” I watch as she deflates just a bit, and I rejoice inside. “Let me take you around so you can see how this is being run.” I turn and walk, not looking to see if I’m being followed.

After everything, I leave her and her assistant in the tent set up with the clothes. Nokio walks up to me and watches with me. “She’s amazing, isn’t she? Her beauty is effortless, and I know she’s going to bring so much attention to this line.” I swallow all of the things I want to tell him. Regardless of how I feel about her, he’s my boss, and I need to keep my job.

“She should be great. It will be an amazing event, for sure.” Nokio steps to the side, and I look at a few items that were thrust into my hands. When I look up, I notice the assistant is outside the tent, as well as the other workers we have to help with dressing. That’s unusual, for sure. Usually, the models have a few people with them to make sure everything goes right. To be honest, usually, they want to keep their hands idle and allow the workers to do everything that’s needed.

I grab a set guy as he walks past me and tell him to get that girl to leave the tented area. I need to have a few words with the queen herself, and I’d rather no one was around for it. No matter what happens while she’s here, I expect her to leave this city and Evan as well. I check for Nokio and see him in the designer’s tent, and I know he’ll be busy for a while.

I walk over to the tent, and as I get close, I tell the workers that some new pieces came in and they need sorting. There are no new pieces, but I'll be done by the time they figure it out. I wait until everyone is out of earshot and take a deep breath. I’ve practiced this for years and know exactly what I want to say to her.

I place my hands on the tent's flaps, not wanting to alert her to my presence. There are numerous mirrors in the far left corner so that all angles can be seen. The right side has different articles of clothing. The back of the tent has tables set up where hair and makeup will be done.

I slowly open the tent a fraction so I can peek inside. I look to the right, but I don’t see Neela. She isn’t in the back, either. When I look to the left, my stomach churns, and my breathing becomes erratic. She is just stepping out of a dress, and the sigh before me brings tears to my eyes.

I quietly step back, letting the flaps go. I quickly walk away, passing my assistant as I go. “Ms Cuervas? Is everything okay?” I turn my head quickly and nod, not able to find my voice. I swallow a few times before trying again.

“I……I will be r….right back.” She nods but has a look of worry on her face. I reach the SUV I arrived in and open the back door. I tell the driver to leave, and the second the door closes, I let a sob loose. She had on a thong and no bra. I was able to see her backside and her back. They are littered with scars and cuts. Some have been healed, and others look pretty fresh. There were a few old bruises and other discolorations. What happened to her? She had never looked like that before. I’ve seen her body when I would accompany her to her jobs. I’ve seen her in bathing suits. It seems like whatever is going on is something that’s recurring.

I lean my head on the window and close my eyes. I know I said I hated her, but damn. Who deserves that type of pain? I doubt she did it to herself because some of the scars are in places she couldn’t reach alone. An idea hits me, making me feel sicker than I have all day. What if….what if Steven is doing these things? What if he’s why she has the marks she does? What if pushing her on him caused all of this? My hand reaches up and wraps around my throat. I can feel the bile trying to climb up, and I won’t let it. What did I do all of those years ago? What have I done to her?