Fortress Island Series 2 Romano: Can't We Try (BOOK 2)

EIGHTEEN: LAST LOVE

Romano’s POV

Her giggles used to be my favourite sound in the world. I would have loved to just sit back and listened to her laugh all day, except that those laughs were not meant for me. And I definitely wasn’t the reason behind those cute sounds she was making.

I took a quick glance at her direction and it only took a second before my vision turned red.

The fucker had the audacity to touch her, hug her and kiss her ON MY f*****g WATCH.

The fucker was begging for his death, I see. I’d be glad to end him. But first, he must bleed.

Grabbing him by the collar, I pulled him up and shoved him down to the ground. I then drove my fist straight to his ugly face, not giving him time to stand up and defend himself.

JK looked at me with a smirk on his face, blood dripping from the cut on his upper lip. I crushed my fist into his face again. The smug grin on his lips didn’t disappear and then I realized, he had no plans on fighting back.

“Romano!”

Her voice had been calling me, begging me to stop hurting the man he was flirting with. I had the urge to tilt my head to where she was standing, but I knew I had to hold my ground. Because once I looked at her direction, this would be all over.

JK managed to stand up, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. “Anong problema natin, Romano? Did I hit a nerve somewhere, my friend?”

“Motherfucker!” I took another step forward, punching him on the jaw, causing his face to distort from pain. JK toppled back to the ground and cursed out loud.

I smiled triumphantly. Siguro naman ay lalaban ka na ngayon, huh.

Susugod na sana ulit ako nang may kamay ang pumigil sa aking braso. Her slender hand put everything to a halt, even my f*****g heartbeat. She wrapped her other hand around my fist, making me tremble. Her hands were on me.

Dear Lord, she touched me.

Her grip wasn’t that strong nor tight, but her touch was.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay niya. The warmth of her fingers were like water dousing the fire inside me. The feel of her skin rubbing against mine was like a ray of light brightening my world of darkness.

Fuck it. With just a simple touch, I was a goner. God, why did it hurt so bad?

Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanyang mukha. She was staring at me with those beautiful grey eyes of hers that never left my mind, not since the last time I saw her a week ago, and most definitely not since seven years ago.

“Tumigil ka na, Romano.” Mariin niyang sambit. Bahagya nitong kinagat ang kanyang ibabang labi. Siguro ay nagpipigil itong hindi mapaiyak.

I could not tear my gaze away from her mouth. All I could think about right at this moment was how good it felt when I tasted those lips of hers. How sweet they were and how much I would willing to give just to taste her again.

Every inch of her.

She didn’t know how much I fantasized her. She didn’t know how much I missed her. How much I longed for her.

The need to kiss her again was too strong that I knew once I crossed the damn line, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I was gonna devour her and be selfish of her.

I wanted to be freed from this heartache. I came to a point where I would not care anymore. Alam kong kapag namatay ako, sa impyerno pa rin naman ang bagsak ko, so bakit pa ako magpapaka-santo? It’s not as if I had the power to change the past. And even if I had, I would not change a f*****g single thing. Mira was, is and will be mine till kingdom come.

So f**k me, I was ready to break laws of heavens and earth. I was ready to be burned in hell.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Romano!” She yelled.

I looked at her intently. Despite the anger on her face, she’s still beautiful. And I hate the fact that everyone is now aware of how perfect my Mira is.

“What is wrong with me? Everything, babe. Everything is wrong.” I answered exasperatingly. I felt tired. Nakakapagod at nakakaubos din talaga ng enerhiya ang magpanggap na hindi ka naapektuhan kahit ang totoo, isang kalabit lang sa akin, sasabog na ako.

“Nababaliw ka na!”

I wanted to laugh. “Bingo.” I am crazy for you. Totally head over heels crazy for you, babe.

“Kung galit ka sa akin, ako lang ang saktan mo. Wag kang mandamay ng ibang tao. Walang kasalanan si JK sa’yo, Romano.” Mira pushed me away using her other hand, samantalang ang isa ay nakahawak pa rin sa kamao ko.

Her eyes flickered for a moment before she finally released me. Agad na nagtagis ang bagang ko nang hindi ko na maramdaman ang init ng kanyang balat sa akin. Parang gusto ko na naman manuntok para lang hawakan niya ako ulit.

Her attention was now on JK, helping him to stand up straight. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she looked up to him. I looked away. Ayokong makita ang concern sa kanyang mga mata para sa lalakeng yun.

“Are you okay?”

Gusto kong umismid sa tono ng kanyang pagkakatanong kay JK. Her voice was soft and full of concern.

“I’m good, chick. Don’t worry.” He answered while laughing.

He had the audacity to laugh. I was holding myself back, fucker. Dahil kung gusto talaga kitang saktan, hindi ka na makakatayo pa ngayon.

“Ano na, Romano. Hindi mo ba sasabihin sa akin kung ano ang kasalanan ko sa’yo? Kung bakit gigil na gigil kang saktan ako?”

“Romano.” Mariel stood beside me, clutching my bicep. “Don’t engage. I called Matteo. He’ll be here any minute.”

I wanted to roll my eyes. As if Matt could save me from the mess I was in. No one could save me. Not even my damn self.

Instead of answering either of them, humakbang ako palapit kay Mira at hinila ko ang kanyang braso na nakayapos kay JK. She yelped in shock dahil siguro sa pwersang ginamit ko.

“We need to talk.” Sa mababang tono na wika ko. I pulled her away from everyone. Di ko na alintana ang pagtawag sa akin nila Mariel at kung sino pa.

“Romano, let me go!” Pumiglas ito pero hindi ko pinakawalan.

“I wish I could, babe. But I can’t. I won’t.” Gustuhin ko man, hindi ka pa rin makakawala sa akin.

“Ano bang problema mo! Bakit mo ginagawa sa akin ‘to! Gustong-gusto mo talagang paglaruan ang damdamin ko. Gustong-gusto mong saktan ako!” Mangiyak-ngiyak na sigaw ni Mira.

Nag-igting ang aking panga. Nang makalabas kami sa banquet hall, tumigil ako sa paglalakad at hinarap ko si Mira. Agad na hinila ko siya palapit sa akin at niyakap nang buong higpit.

I cupped the back of her head and let her face buried against my chest, right where she could feel the fast beating of my heart.

“Romano—”

“Shh…” I internally groaned when I kissed the top of her head. She smelled so good.

I shut my eyes. I wish I could tell her the whole truth. But if I did, it would cause her a much deeper kind of pain. It would make her run away from me for real. She would hate me. She would feel disgusted about herself for all the things that we did together.

The truth will destroy her life like it had destroyed mine.

I opted not to tell her anything, para sa akin lang siya magalit. At kahit galit at nasaktan siya, alam kong tuloy pa rin ang agos ng kanyang buhay.

Ako, kontento na akong tatanawin siya sa malayo. Kontento na akong magtago sa dilim habang nakamasid lamang sa kanya.

Pero nagkamali ako. Hindi ganun kadali ang lahat. Hindi ko pala kaya ang makita siya sa iba. Sa kabila ng katotohanan na tanging ako at si Mama lamang ang nakakaalam, walang nagbago sa damdamin ko.

Ilang araw at buwan kong pinag-isipan ang lahat. Ilang beses kong tinimbang ang lahat. Pero kahit anong gawin ko para itama ang mali, I would always find myself hopelessly in love with the woman I was holding right now.

And damn if it didn’t feel good to hold her like this. She felt like home.

Alam ko ang totoong damdamin ko para sa kanya. Alam kong sa kabila ng lahat, umiibig ako. Hindi ko ito maipagkakamali sa pagmamahal ng isang kadugo.

I let my guards down kaya hindi ko napaghandaan ang pagsalakay ni JK sa akin. Hinila niya si Mira at agad na binigwasan ako. Tumama ang kanyang kamao sa aking panga.

Tangina.

“Stay away from Mira, Romano. Tigilan mo na siya. Tinaboy mo na siya ng ilang beses. Wala kang karapatan na basta-basta na lang siyang ilayo mula sa akin, paasahin at saktan muli. Leave her alone.”

My jaw clenched as my eyes squinted into slits at him. “JK, I hate to break it you, this is none of your f*****g business.”

“I care for her. She’s my business too, Romano. I want to protect her from an asshole like you.”

“Asshole like me? Huh? Aren’t you talking about yourself? Ano, JK. Matapang ka na sa lagay na yan? You want war? I’ll give one. A deadly one.”

“That’s enough!”

Pareho naming nilingon si Mira. Basa na ng luha ang kanyang mga pisngi. Pinaglipat-lipat niya ang tingin sa aming dalawa ni JK hanggang sa tumigil iyon sa akin.

She wasn’t looking at me with tender eyes. She was glaring at me. “I am done with you, Romano.”

Her words stabbed me a hundred times all at once I felt like dying. I knew I had caused her pain, but I did not see that coming. She didn’t mean that.

“You just can’t push people around and punch them just because you’re mad or pissed, Romano. Hindi dahil trip mo lang o dahil naiiinis ka sa nakikita mo. You have no right to hurt me or JK. I won’t allow another bullshit from you. This needs to stop. You have to stop. Now. Masyadong mataas ang tingin mo sa iyong sarili. Hindi sa’yo lang umiikot ang mundo. Hindi ikaw ang nagmamay-ari nito. The world isn’t about you, Romano.”

Because my world is all about you, Mira. I wanted to say it out loud but my throat constricted in pain it was hard to even swallow.

“You hear that, dude?” JK smirked as he stood beside Mira. Ginagap nito ang palad niya at hinintay kong pumalag ito pero hindi. Instead, Mira sighed and gave him a small smile.

Pakiramdam ko’y may kung anong sumipa sa aking dibdib. Literal na hindi ako makahinga habang nakatanaw sa kanilang dalawa.

Naikuyom ko ang aking kamao at nagtangkang humakbang palapit sa kanilang dalawa para hatakin si Mira pero nang kumilos ito at hinarang ang sarili para protektahan si JK, napatigil ako.

“Hindi ko papayagang saktan mo siyang muli, Romano.” Sa nanginginig na boses na sambit nito.

She stood in front of JK as his shield. Madilim ang kanyang mukhang nakatanaw sa akin. Napasinghap ako. Hindi dahil sa sakit na nararamdam ko sa aking ulo o sa madiin na pagtagis sa aking bagang, kundi sa hindi masukat na sakit na nanggagaling sa aking dibdib.

“C’mon, chick. Let’s get out of here.” Hinapit ni JK ang baywang ni Mira. “May intimidate date pa tayo.”

“Date?” The word left a bitter taste in my mouth. “Anong intimate date ang sinasabi mong gago ka.”

“Bakit, Romano? Pipigilan mo si Mira? Anong karapatan mo sa kanya? Sa pagkakaalam ko, tapos na kayo. Wala na kayong relasyon. Hindi ka naman din niya kapatid para kailangan ko pang hingin ang permiso mo.”

My jaw clenched once again. Kating-kati na ang kamao kong suntukin ang bunganga ng lalake kung hindi lang talaga kay Mira na nakabantay sa susunod kong hakbang.

“Both of us are single. I stopped dating since last year. Sa ating dalawa, higit na mas matino ako pagdating sa babae. At least, ako, hindi kung saan-saan lang pinupulot ang mga babaeng pinaparada ko sa bawat parties na imbitado ako. Ewan ko na lang sa iba diyan.” He arrogantly c****d his eyebrow at me.

“f**k you.” I hissed.

“Back the f**k off, Romano. Alam kong may namumuong relasyon sa inyong dalawa noon kaya hindi ko pinagpatuloy ang nais kong ligawan si Mira. But the tide has finally seems to be turning.”

“If you think you will have a chance to win Mira’s heart, you better think again, dumbass.”

He turned his gaze to Mira. “Si Mira lang naman ang makakasagot niyan.” He faced her. “Chick, tell me honestly, sa estado ng damdamin mo ngayon, ano si Romano sa’yo?”

Bahagyang nagulat si Mira sa tanong na iyon ni JK. She looked at him with confusion and when the question finally sank in, she threw me a glance.

Tinatambol sa kaba ang aking dibdib. Hindi ko gusto ang emosyong nakikita ko sa kanyang maamong mukha. Her fingers started to fidget again. She’s nervous. I could tell by the look in her eyes.

Her gaze was casted downwards as she took a deep sigh. Tiningala niya ulit si JK bago siya nagsalita gamit ang kalmadong tinig. “He doesn’t matter to me now. He’s nothing, JK. I’m done begging and asking for answers why he hurt me. Why he dropped me like that without giving a valid explanation. I’m done questioning myself if I did something wrong with him. Kung may kulang ba sa akin o kung hindi pa ba ako sapat. I’m done with his games and cold treatment. He doesn’t deserve someone like me.”

I could literally feel my world was falling apart. It was hard to pretend that her words didn’t cut me open. I was a breath away to drop on my knees. Nanghina ako sa kanyang mga sinabi. For her, I am now nothing. For her, I don’t exist anymore. Parang mas gugustuhin ko na lang na magsaksak sa sarili dahil tiyak akong di ganun kasakit kompara sa mga salitang binitiwan nito.

Nag-init ang sulok ng aking mga mata. The last thing I wanted was to cry in front of them. I wasn’t weak man, but I guess I had my limitation.

Mira pulled JK’s hand as they started to walk towards me. My eyes remained on her face. Her expression stern and determined. She really meant those words. She meant to hurt me and I wanted to congratulate her because I was. I was deeply hurt. I felt like there was a big hole in my heart that sooner or later it would stop beating because of too much bleeding.

When they walked past me, pinigilan ko siya. I clutched her forearm and squeezed it tight. I don’t care if she could feel I was trembling in fear of losing her for good. I don’t care if she could sense I was panicking. I could not afford to lose her. I could not afford to lose the very reason why I was still breathing in this world.

I wanted to pull and bring her to my side and scream at her how much I have loved her. That despite the fact that we’re…fuck it….I couldn’t even utter the term of it,  but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m still in love with her.

“Don’t go.” I whispered in a pain voice. “Please.”

Mira looked up to me. Nanigas ang mukha ko sa paraan ng pagkakatanaw niya sa akin. Her deadpan expression made the hole in my heart bigger and deeper than it already was.

“You had your chance, Romano, and now, you lost it.”

I could not help it. I groaned in pain. Naninikip ang dibdib ko at parang may kung anong nakabara sa aking lalamunan.

I watched JK took her away from me. I stood here alone, like a dying, hopeless fool while they disappeared from my sight. It felt like my soul had left my body and gone with them.

Mira’s POV

JK brought me to his condo. Saglit kong niligid ang tingin sa kabuoan nito. Minimalistic ang dating ng kanyang pad. Kulay puti ang marmol na sahig at ganun din ang pintura ng pader at kisame.

“Nasa langit ba ako?” I joked. Nakakasilaw kasi ang kaputian at kalinisan. Kahit ata alikabok ay mahihiyang dumapo sa kahit saang parte o sulok ng bahay nito.

“Hmmm…wanna know what heavens feel like?” May panunukso sa kanyang titig habang hinuhubad nito ang kanyang suit jacket.

Umirap ako sa kanya pero hindi ko mapigilan ang paggapang ng init sa aking pisngi. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Wala ka pala, e.” Pang-aalaska pa nito. He pointed the sofa. “Have a seat, chick. We barely touched our food there kaya nag-order na ako habang patungo tayo dito. I hope you don’t mind if I ordered Thai food?”

Nagkibit-balikat ako habang umuupo sa sofa. “I can eat anything.”

“Bakit iba ang dating sa akin ng mga sagot mo, chick?”

I rolled my eyes. “JK, bawas-bawasan mo ang pagiging green-minded para na rin sa ikakabuti ng pagkakaibigan natin.”

“Oucch. Friendzone agad-agad? Di man lang ako bibigyan ng chance na manligaw?” He smirked. Sa counter area ay nagsalin ito ng red wine sa dalawang kopeta. Lumapit ito sa akin at inabot ang isa. Tinanggap ko naman iyon.

“Ang tanong, manliligaw ka ba?” Ang mga binitawan niyang salita kanina kay Romano ay alam kong hindi totoo. JK would never court me. Hindi dahil kaibigan lang ang turingan namin sa isa’t isa kundi may ibang nagugustuhan ito.

“Hindi mataas ang volume ng wine na ‘to. Don’t worry, wala akong planong lasingin ka o pansamantalahan ka.” Umangat-baba ang kanyang kilay.

I wrinkled my nose. “Hindi man lang yan nagawi sa isipan ko, JK. I trust you. Hindi ako mag-iisip ng masama laban sa’yo.”

Pumalatak ito at umupo sa aking tabi. He comfortably draped his arm on my shoulder. “Gagong Romano. You’re a rare gem, Mira. He has no idea what he just lost.” He tucked me to his side and kissed my cheek.

Simpleng umiling ako. “Ayoko nang pag-usapan pa si Romano, JK.”

“He was hurt. I could tell because I’m a man, too. Kahit hindi ko pa naranasan ang ma-heart broken, pansin ko ang paglatay ng sakit sa kanyang mga mata. At one point, I almost thought he would faint. It seemed like he forgot to breath for a moment there.”

Mahina kong binunggo ang kanyang balikat. “Why are you telling me all these? Gusto mo bang bigyan ko siya ng isa pang pagkakataon? Gusto mo bang patawarin ko siya?”

“Nope. I didn’t mean that way. He’s in love with you. That is as clear as the sky but there’s something holding him back. Yan ang gusto kong malaman.”

“I told you, ilang beses ko nang hiningi ang paliwanag o rason niya pero wala siyang binigay ni isa. Gaano ba kahirap sa inyong mga lalake ang sabihin sa babae na hindi nyo na sila iniibig?”

Pinitik ni JK ang aking tainga sa gulat ko. “Hindi ka nakikinig. Ang sabi ko, patay na patay sa’yo yung tao. At kung ano man ang dahilan niya, tiyak akong hindi dahil may minamahal na siyang iba. There’s something more to this than meets the eye. Yan ang gusto kong makuha sa kanya pero ang gago, tikom pa rin ang bibig. Mas gusto pa ata niyang magdusa kayong pareho kaysa ipaalam sa’yo ang kanyang rason.”

“Kung ayaw niyang ipaalam sa akin, e di wag. May hangganan din ang lahat, JK. At this point, I’m tired looking for answers. Kung tama nga ang sinabi mon a may ibang rason pa, it doesn’t change a single thing. The fact na mas gusto niyang mag-suffer kaming pareho ay hindi na katanggap-tanggap. He’s being mean, cruel and selfish.”

“Hmm….let’s try one last push. This will be hardest push ever.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “Smile, chick.” He pressed me hard to his side habang naka-unat ang kanyang brasong may hawak na cellphone.

I smiled awkwardly as he took a selfie. Ano na naman kaya ang trip ng lalakeng ‘to?

“Perfect.” Ani nito sa photo namin sa kanyang cellphone. “Ma-isend nga kay Romano. Hehe.” Tumipa ito ng mensahe kalakip ng picture naming dalawa.

JK: Mira’s in my house, dude. I’ll make sure she sleeps in my bed tonight. I’m gonna make love to her like she wants me to. Thank you for being a jerk to her. Have a good night, brother. Sleep well because we won’t be sleeping tonight.” He pressed the send button while biting his lower lip.

“Let’s wait for his reply. He’d gonna go apeshit, for sure.”

“He won’t take the bait, JK.” Ani ko pero ang totoo, umaasa ako na sana nga kagatin ni Romano. I felt so stupid and hypocrite.

My chest tightened as I was waiting for Romano’s reply. My heart sank when it had been like ten minutes passed but no text or call came from him.

I startled when my phone vibrated inside of my clutch bag. Inabot ko iyon mula sa mesa. My hands trembled when I received a text from Romano.

Romano: I knew you visited our dating place in Batangas. Do you still remember the words I engraved on that tree? Yes, babe. You are my first crush and my last love, Mira.

Please remember that. Always.