Fortress Island Series 2 Romano: Can't We Try (BOOK 2)

THIRTEEN: DISGUST

Romano’s POV

Napaatras ako at napatitig sa cottage na unti-unting nilalamon ng apoy. I did it. I f*****g did it. I burned it. But the longer I stared at it, the stronger the pain I felt in my heart. Why? Why did it feel so wrong? My eyes stung from crying. f**k, did I cry this much?

Gamit ang likod ng aking palad ay pagalit na nagpahid ako ng luha. My eyes wandered around. Ang mga tauhan ng villa ay nagsisigawan at nagtulong-tulong maapula ang apoy. How did they know? How did they come here so fast? Ah, siguro ay natimrebihan agad ng kasambahay.

Unti-unting bumigay ang mga haligi at kisame ng terrace. Malapit lang ang ilog at madali lamang sa mga tauhan ang makakuha ng tubig lalo na't organisado sila. Pero kahit anong bilis pa ang kanilang gawin, hindi nila maisasalba ang cottage. Hindi man tuluyang matupok ng apoy ito, it did not matter anymore. The damage had been done. It's unfixable.

"Romano!"

I blinked when I felt someone grab my shirt from behind. I lost my balance and toppled backwards to the ground. Manong Norman's face came down on me and fisted on my shirt. He was gritting his teeth, his eyes glaring at me.

"Anong ginawa mo?!"

Bumalik sa isipan ko ang tagpong nadatnan ko kanina. Umalingawngaw sa tainga ko ang mga narinig ko mula sa kanilang dalawa, ang dahilan kung bakit ko ito ginawa. Ang dahilan kung bakit galit ako. Nag-igting ang aking panga. Konting kalabit na lang at malapit ko na itong masuntok. Kung hindi lang talaga kay Maya, tiyak akong nagpang-abot na kami. Tinulak ko ito nang malakas at nabuwal ito sa lupa.

"Don't touch me! Don't you f*****g dare touch me!" Hiyaw ko.

"Anak, Diyos ko, anong nangyari! Bakit nasusunog ang cottage mo!" In my peripheral view, I saw my mother sprinting towards me. Nang makalapit, lumuhod ito sa aking gilid at hinawakan ang aking magkabilang pisngi. "Are you hurt? Are you in pain?"

I angrily removed her hands from me. I glared at her. "I hate you, Ma. I hate you so much."

Her mouth fell open from my words. Pain crossed her face as she trembled. "What did I do, Romano?"

"You're a liar. I can't believe a have a b***h of a mother like you."

She gasped loudly. "What—what did you say?"

"Romano!" Pagalit na sita ni Manong Norman.

"I heard you. I heard your conversation with him. I saw the two of you making out." My voice breaking, pinaglipat-lipat ko ang tingin sa kanilang dalawa.

"Oh, my God." Umiling-iling ito habang lumalayo sa akin. Sapo nito ang kanyang ulo at panay ang kanyang singhap. Kahit madilim ang paligid at tanging ang apoy mula sa cottage ang nagsisilbing liwanag, alam kong namumutla ang aking ina.

"I'm so sorry." She uttered while sobbing. "I'm so sorry, anak. Patawarin mo ako."

Manong Norman came to her side. Hinawakan niya si Mama sa balikat, giving her support.

"I don't want to see you. I don't want to see both of you." Nanlisik ang mata ako sa kanilang dalawa. They had the audacity to show their affections for each other in front of me. Hindi na sila nahiya na may mga tao sa aming paligid.

"Humihingi ako ng patawad, Romano." Salita ni Manong Norman. Nagmamakaawa ang kanyang mga tingin sa akin. "Marami akong nais sabihin sa'yo. Marami akong gustong ipaliwanag at ipaunawa sa'yo anak, pero hindi ito ang tamang pagkakataon."

"Wala akong papakinggan sa inyong dalawa. Sapat na sa akin ang narinig ko kanina. Pero wag kang mag-alala, wala akong babanggitin kay Maya. Sa'yo dapat manggaling ang katotohanan at hindi sa akin. Ang laki ng respeto niya sa'yo. Ang laki ng pagmamahal niya sa'yo pero ang katotohanang ito ay tiyak akong ikadurog niya. Pero tinitiyak ko sa'yo, I'll be right beside her para alalayan siya. Handang ibigay ang buong lakas ko kung kailangan niya." Matigas na tugon ko.

Umiling ito. "Hindi mo naiintindihan, Romano. Ngayon ko lang din ito nalaman pero may dapat akong sabihin sa inyo ni Mira—Maya." He stuttered. "Nasaan pala siya? Magkasama ba kayo kanina? Nasaan siya noong nagtungo ka sa hardin? Wag mong sabihin sa akin na narinig at nakita din niya—"

"Hindi kami magkasama. Mabuti na lang at hindi. I would hate to see the pain in her eyes if she heard them all."

Kumunot ang noo ni Manong Norman. "Hindi kayo magkasama? Pero nandito siya sa villa, Romano. Tumawag ang kanyang tiya sa akin. Wala sa bahay si Maya ngayon. Akala ni Lorna ay nandito siya at magkasama kayo. Walang ibang pupuntahan si Mira maliban dito sa—" nilingon nito ang nasusunog pa rin na cottage. "—sa kubo mo."

I whipped my head to the cottage. Napapatitig ako sa nagliliyab na kubo. Umiling ako. She's not there. If she's there she should have shouted my name. I would have heard her if she did so. Impossible. She's not there.

I transferred my gaze from the cottage to Mang Norman. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko. His gaze darkening as he took a step forward grabbing me by the collar with a force.

"Magkasama kayo, di ba? Di ba? Nasaan ang anak ko, Romano?!"

"Wag mo akong hawakan!" Dahil higit na mas bata ako, madali lang sa akin ang kumawala sa kanyang hawak o marahil, hindi niya ako hinawakan ng mahigpit.

Umatras ako. Fear started to crawl inside me. Dali-dali kong kinuha ang cellphone sa aking bulsa. I had to call her. I was certain she wasn't here in the villa. Tiya Lorna did not look harder. Maya was in her bed, sleeping by now. That was what I wanted to think—and prayed.

My hand trembled when I learned a had a message from her that I did not check.

Romano, andito ako sa cottage. Nasa malaking bahay ka?

My visions started to blur. My knees weakened as I dragged my gaze back to the burning cottage.

I couldn't breathe.

My heart literally stopped from beating.

Babe.... You're not there... Please tell me you're not there. That's impossible!

And before I could even think, I dropped the phone to the ground and ran towards the cottage. I grabbed the pail full of water from one of our men and doused it on me.

People kept yelling my name, but it was too late. There was no way they could stop me from going through the fire. I jumped and avoided the burning debris on the floor. The door was already burning, and I had to kick it so I could get in. I kept telling myself that it was okay. I wouldn't die here. I could easily escape. I just needed to check that Maya wasn't here. Maya would never come here without telling me. But who was I fooling? f**k, she did tell me. It's just that I did not bother checking when I heard the ping sound from my phone.

Dark smoke was everywhere. I could not see clearly. I had to cover my nose because the scent assaulted my nostrils, I found it hard to breathe. I started coughing.

"Maya!" I shouted, looking for her everywhere. I kept moving forward until my vision became clearer.

I found her.

My heart literally broke into pieces when I found her lifeless body on the floor next to the wooden cabinet. I broke into tears as I kneeled and gathered her in my arms. Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa sahig.  A piece of warped wood was on her face, burning her skin. Agad kong pinalis iyon at hinubad ang aking basang T-shirt. I pressed it on the burned area of her face. Nanginig ako. The guilt was eating me alive. This was all my fault. I shouldn't have done this.  I should have just ran away and never looked back.

"Maya! Maya! Please wake up!" I gently shook her by the shoulder.

She moaned. She's alive! Thank God!

"Romano...." Her voice came like a whisper.

"I'm here, babe. I'm here." My voice cracked.

She gave me a small smile. "Nandito ka...nakarating ka..."

"Yes...babe. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you're here." I wept, my tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Masaya akong makita ka, Romano. I love you.... but please, leave me here. Save yourself."

"No, I can't, and I won't. I will save you. We will survive this. Handa akong makulong sa ginawa ko but I don't care. You have to live, Maya. You have to live; do you hear me? You can't die here. Don't leave me."

"It's.... okay." Her eyes fluttering to closing. "It's okay...."

"No! Please, please hang on! Don't sleep, babe. Don't sleep on me. Don't close your eyes, I'm begging you."

"I love you.... Romano." She said as she took her last breath. She slowly closed her eyes.

"No, no, no. Don't die on me. Don't die on me, Maya." I panicked, did not know what to do. I cupped her head only to be frozen yet again when I noticed the floor, she was lying from was covered in blood.

Jesus Christ! She was bleeding!

Humagulhol ako at niyakap siya ng mahigpit. I cried, I cried so hard the people from outside could hear it. My throat started to ache. The pain was getting unbearable.

"I love you forever, Maya. I will never love another girl the same way as I have loved you. I'm yours, maging dito man o sa kabilang buhay." I vowed and engraved those words deep into my heart and soul.

The walls of the cottage started to collapse. I had to move her from here. I refused to believe she's already dead. Her skin was still warm against mine. I would not let her die and get burned. Only me. It should only be me to get that kind of painful death because I deserved it.

Using the remainder of my strength I carried her, but I could only take two steps as the wall warped on top of me. Napaluhod ako. I put her back on the floor para alisin ang nahulog na plywood sa akin. Masyado nang nag-aalab ang apoy. Masyado nang mainit. Kailangan kong magmadali. I put my arms around her again but then, the crackling sound from the cabinet made me stop. The wooden plank from the cabinet was about to fall on us. There was not enough time to avoid it. I immediately hovered my full length on top of Maya and let the wood crushed against me. It pressed hard on my back. I gritted my teeth as I felt my skin melting away.

I sheltered her with my body, wrapping myself around her like a human blanket. And that's okay. She's safe beneath me. That was all that mattered.

Mixture of my sweats and tears falling on her face, and I smiled. I smiled because I finally accepted the fact that this was the end of us. That we would die together.

I became numb from the pain. From everything. My lungs were filled with dark smoke. My vision became blurry. My head reeling.

As I looked at her, I cupped her tainted cheek. I dipped down and brushed my lips against hers. "It's an honor to die with you, babe."

I fainted on top of her.

Mira's POV

Present time...

I felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs. Clutching the sketchbook, my legs buckled under me. I slid to the floor and wept hysterically. The details of the past shook my entire system. The memories seemed fresh and real. I trembled.

The last time I could remember from that night was me saying how much I loved him. I knew at that moment I was dead, and it was impossible for me to get out alive. I told him to leave me, to save himself from the fire he caused. Thinking about that, the fire, the heat and pain it gave me felt like it all happened yesterday.

I had no idea why Romano burned the cottage. It was as if he set fire to the world that failed him. I could still remember how tight and dark his expressions were. But one thing I was certain, Romano didn't know I was there. He did not know. He didn't mean to kill me. He loved me so much.

Kung pagbabasehan ko ang kwento ni Mama sa akin, namatay si Papa matapos niya kaming iligtas ni Romano mula sa sunog. He died from heart attack, probably due to exhaustion.

Despite everything, I smiled behind my tears. Thank God I had finally regained my lost memories. Even though most of them were painful and sad, some were happy ones.  And they were all mine. Those memories were mine to keep.

To my father who gave up his life for us, we owe what we had now to him. I missed him so much.

Tinuyo ko ang aking mga luha kasabay ng paghugot ng malalim na hininga. Ito na ang tamang panahon para ipaalam kay Romano na ako at si Maya ay iisa. Sasabihin ko rin sa kanya na hindi ko siya sinisisi sa nangyari. Kung ano man ang rason niya sa pagsunog ng kubo, alam kong walang kinalaman ang relasyon namin. Handa akong makinig sa paliwanag niya pero kung masakit sa kanyang balikan ang nakalipas, walang kaso sa akin. In fact, I would not dwell on it. Tapos na iyon. Buhay pa kami ni Romano. Handa akong kalimutan ang lahat ng nakalipas. Handa akong patawarin siya dahil alam ko, ramdam ko, pinatawad na siya ni Papa kahit hindi pa man ito nakakahingi ng kapatawaran.

At si Mama, alam tiyak nito kung anong nangyari pagkatapos ng sunog. I had a feeling na may kaugnayan si Mama sa mga Salvatore kahit pa anong isip ko, wala akong matandaan na nagkatagpo ang landas nila noon.

Tumayo ako at nagpagpag ng alikabok sa aking katawan. Determinado akong ipaalam sa kanya ang buong katotohanan. Kung sakali mang ang resulta nito ay ang paglayo niya sa akin dahi sa pagsisisi sa ginawa, hindi ko siya papayagan. I would not let him go. Seven years had passed. It's time for all of us to move on. The aftermath from what he did that night, the pain it caused me, I was ready to forget them all.

Romano is here in Batangas. He's probably staying at their villa. Tutungo ako doon ngayon din.

Nagtawag ako ng tricyle at nagpahatid sa bukana ng villa Alcantara. Hindi kalayuan ang malaking bahay mula dito sa aking kinatatayuan. Kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko, kinse minutos lang na lakaran bago ko marating ang malaking bahay.

"Sino sila?"

Salubong na tanong sa akin ng katulong nang makarating ako sa tapat ng mansiyon. Niligid ko ang tingin sa kabuuang anyo ng malaking bahay. Halos walang pinagbago. Parang hindi lumipas ang pitong taon. Kung may konting pagbabago man, mas lalo pang gumanda ang nakapaligid dito.

I immediately identified the car that was parked in the driveway. It was Romano's. Tama nga sila Jia at Mitch. Nakabalik na nga si Romano mula America and he didn't even tell me about it. I wondered why. Was he planning to surprise me?

Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. No, he did not come home because of me. He came home because tomorrow was my father's death anniversary. It was the day he burned the cottage. The day he thought I died.

"Ano po...uhm...staff po ako ni Romano." Sagot ko.

Nagtaas lamang ito ng kilay sa akin at tinignan ako mula ulo hanggang paa pabalik. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa aking sketchbook. Ngumiwi ako sa paraan ng tingin niya sa akin. I looked like a mess, but who could blame me?

"Talaga? Narinig ko na yan, Miss. Pero ang totoo, stalker at die-hard fan lang pala ni Romano. Magpapa-fign sign lang. May pruweba ka na staff ka niya?"

Gusto ko sanang patulan ang katarayan nito lalo na't marami ang gumugulo sa aking isipan ngayon. Pero nakakapagod pumatol. I did not think I could even raise my voice.

I sighed instead. Kinuha ko ang aking staff I.D sa loob ng aking backpack. I wore this every time I had to go to Moon Records for access. "I'm working under Moon Records. Personal assistant ako ni Romano. I was told na andito siya ngayon." I made a quick glance at the huge entrance doors.

Ngumuso ito habang tinignan ang aking I.D.  She made a huff. "Sige, pumasok ka na sa loob. Nasa library silang mag-ina."

Natigilan ako. Mag-ina? "Kasama niya ba si Senyora Leonora?"

"Sabay silang dumating. Ang alam ko'y kadarating lang nila mula America at dumiretso agad dito sa Batangas. Teka, di ba at assistant ka kamo? Bakit hindi mo alam schedule ng alaga mo?"

Girlfriend ako. Girlfriend! Pero kahit girlfriend ako ay hindi ko rin alam!

"Ah." Hilaw na tumawa ako. "Alam ko. Hindi lang ako aware na kasama pala si Senyora na uuwi."

She gave me an eyeroll. "Sige na, pumasok ka na kung may sadya ka. Busy na ako." Umalis ito sa aking harapan gamit ang mabibigat ng mga paa.

Napapailing na lamang ako habang umaakyat sa ilang baitang ng hagdan patungo sa main door. Nang makapasok ng tuluyan sa loob, tumingala ako at sandali pang pinasadahan ng kabuoan ng bahay. Kung ang labas ay halos walang pinagbago, kabaligtaran naman sa loob. Kokonti na lamang ang mga gamit at walang gaanong naka-display na mga mwebles, di gaya noon.

Hindi pa ako nagawi sa library. Noon ay madalas sa kusina at sa hardin kami tumatambay ni Romano. Inaya niya ako minsan sa taas ng bahay pero hindi ako pumayag. Kakaiba kasi ang tingin ng mga katulong noon sa aming dalawa. Ayokong pag-isipan nila kami ng masama.

I jumped when I heard a loud noise coming from a certain door on my left. Parang may nabasag na kung ano. Sunod-sunod ang ingay galing sa pinto na iyon. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko at niyakap ang sketchbook kong hawak. Unti-unti akong lumapit doon hanggang sa makarinig ako ng mga boses.

"Bakit, Ma! Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin ang lahat ng ito!" Why!" Romano's voice roared like a thunder kasunod ng panibagong ingay ng mga gamit na nahulog sa sahig.

"I'm so sorry, Romano. Hindi ko akalain na magkukrus ang landas ninyong dalawa. Hindi ko siya nakilala." Hagulhol ni Senyora. "Please, Romano, calm down. Your hands are bleeding, anak."

Romano is bleeding? He's hurt?

Without thinking twice, I clicked the doorknob open and pushed it. Sabay na nilingon ako ng mag-ina. Senyora's eyes grew wide and so was mine.

Senyora Leonora was kneeling on the floor, her face wet from tears. Romano, on the other hand, was on the far corner. Nakasalampak din ito sa sahig at nakayuko ang ulo. His hair disheveled. Napatingin ako sa bintana sa kanyang ulohan. Basag ang salamin niyon at nagkalat ang mga bubog sa sahig. Sa aking gilid ay nabaligtad ang office table. Ang mga libro, papel ay nagkalat kung saan-saan. Akala mo'y dinaanan ng bagyo ang buong silid.

My eyes went to his bleeding hands. Mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya.

"Romano." I called his name. And that was when he looked up and met my gaze. I blinked. His eyes were bloodshot. I shivered by the way he's looking at me. It was as if he did not recognize me. It was as if he went lifeless.

Lumuhod ako sa kanyang harapan. Binaba ko ang sketchbook sa aking gilid at ginagap ang duguan nitong kamao. He shuddered the moment my skin touched his. Bumaba ang kanyang titig sa sketchbook. Nagtagal iyon doon.

"What happened?" I asked softly.

He dragged his gaze back to my face. He blinked. Suddenly, his eyes glimmered with rage, and he looked like he was about to unleash that anger on me.

"Please don't tell me you're Maya. Maya's dead. She died in my arms." He gritted his teeth so hard I could hear the anguish from it.

Suminghap ako. He already figured out?

"Romano..." I gulped down. "Ngayon ko lang din...."

"NO!" He screamed bloody murder. "You're not Maya! You're not her! Please, Mira! Sabihin mo sa akin na hindi kayo iisa! Parang-awa mo na...please tell me..." He cried. His shoulder trembled.

"Romano, I had altered memories. Ngayon ko lang naalala ang lahat." Pumiyok ang boses ko. Romano shut his eyes. His face contoring with anger. He gripped my hand so tight I swear he could crash my bones to pieces.

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you my real name. Pero walang nagbago sa akin, Romano. Ako pa rin si Maya na minahal mo. You can call me Maya kung gusto mo. I'm not mad at you. Ano man ang dahilan mo para gawin yun, hindi na mahalaga sa akin. Ang importante sa akin ay ang ngayon. Pareho tayong buhay at malaya. Romano, hindi ka ba natutuwang malaman na hindi pala ako...namatay sa sunog? Buhay ako. I'm here, babe." Tears welled in my eyes. I wanted to cup his cheeks but he did not let go of my hand.

"Romano, anak...." Senyora uttered. "Di kayo pwede....hindi kayo pwedeng mangyari."

Nilingon ko ito. Alin ang hindi pwede? Ano ang hindi pwedeng mangyari?

"Ano po ang ibig nyong sabihin, Senyora?"

"Mira...you and Romano...."

"Shut your mouth, mother." His tone was dark and sharp. It sent shivers down my spine. I was speechless with the way he spoke so disrespectfully to her. Romano was not like this before. What made him change so sudden?

Romano dropped my hand and stood up. Tumayo din ako at patuloy lamang na nakatingin sa kanya. Why was he acting like this? He's making me feel nervous. I expected him to get angry, to resent me for lying about my name pero hindi ganitong reaksiyon ang inaasahan ko. There was not even a glimpse of guilt in his demeanor.

"What's wrong, Romano?" I made a step forward, but he stepped backward. I extended my hand to reach his bleeding fist, but the next thing he did, stunned me.

He yanked me closer to him, his face an inch away from me. "Kung alam ko lang na magiging ganito kalupit ang tadhana sa akin, I would have jumped into the fire and burned myself alive. Dahil habang nakatingin ako sa'yo ngayon, para na rin akong sinusunog sa impiyerno."

He shoved me on the chest, so hard that my butt fell on the floor. Napatukod ako sa aking mga braso at agad na gumuhit ang hapdi sa aking balat. Shards of glass cut into my skin, but it did not matter.

Because the pain I felt on my wound was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my heart with what he said.

"Romano..." A sob escaped my throat. Hindi ko alintana ang pagluhod ni Senyora sa aking tabi para alalayan akong makatayo. But my legs failed me. I could not move.

"Don't you dare say my name ever again. Get out of my sight! Your face disgusts me, Mira!" His words were the harshest words he uttered that prickled my skin like needles.

He stared down at me. His eyes were so empty, cold and hollow it scared me. What did I do to deserve this?

When he started to turn away, without throwing a glance, without offering me his hand, he left.

I broke into tears. What just had happened?

I hugged myself as the searing pain beat under my skin. Why did I feel like I had lost him for good this time?