Fortress Island Series 2 Romano: Can't We Try (BOOK 2)

TWELVE: HELL

“Your uncle Bernardo is sick in the head! He’s planning to remarry!”

Ito ang sinalubong ni Mama pagpasok namin ni Alejandro sa library ng Salvatore Mansion. My father was sitting behind the office desk, busy with his papers, as always, while my mother kept pacing back and forth with her arms crossed over her chest.

I sat on the end of the large sofa, my elbows on my knees. Hindi na ako nagulat sa sinabi ni Mama. Zandro spoke about his father’s plan to us in the group chat, which I, by the way, had no plans interacting. Nabubuhay lang naman ang group chat na iyon kapag may anunsiyo mula sa kani-kanilang buhay. Minsan nga ay hindi ko binubuksan ang thread ng GC. Their main topics would always be about businesses which I had no interest of knowing. Alejandro, most of the time, does not engage but once he did, I would sometimes peek and read his replies.  

Out of all my cousins, Ezekiel was the nosiest one. He would call me out every damn chance he got. He accused me of being just a lurker because all I did was to ‘seen’ their boring conversations and not bother replying even though they kept tagging me. That asshole. It wouldn’t hurt their toes if I refused to even say what’s up, would it?

Alejandro sat on the other end of the sofa and crossed his legs like he would always do. Looking at him, I could not help but think how opposite we were, literally and figuratively. He’s wearing his casual business suit and sleek leather black shoes, while there’s me wearing a simple white shirt, cotton shorts and house slippers. I mean, it’s been like two weeks since we arrived in Spain at ni isang beses ay hindi man lang ako nagka-interes na lumabas ng bahay. And to tell you frankly, hindi ko pa napupuntahan ang ibang sulok ng ancestral house na ito. Alejandro spent most of his childhood here. Dito rin siya nag-aaral ng kolehiyo. He’s planning to take up his master’s degree in the US. He’s a damn genius and sometimes, I envied him. Sinasama siya palagi ni Papa sa mga business trips and meetings kaya sa murang edad, I was confident he would rule the corporate world someday. Para kay Alejandro, parang isang malaking kasalanan ang uupo lamang sa bahay at walang ginagawa. Don’t get me wrong, may ginagawa din naman ako. I had been spending my time in my bedroom composing songs. So far, limang kanta na ang nagagawa ko. And I could not even believe myself that I was able to make such in a short period of time. My keyboard was all I got for now. I was thinking of learning to play guitar so I could have more knowledge in music.

“What are you plans, Leonora?” My father asked. Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. Alejandro and Papa Arturo had almost the same features. From eyebrows, eye color, nose to the jaw. Alejandro was the complete replica of my father. No one will question their similarity. He was my father’s mini-me. Ako naman ay walang namana sa aking ama. People would always say that the Alcantara blood was stronger in me. Di ko rin naman sila masisi dahil ilang beses na akong napagkamalan na kapatid nila Zandro. I got my strong features from my mother. I inherited her brown eyes and prominent nose. Kung meron man akong namana kay Papa, siguro ay hugis ng mukha at maalon na buhok.

“I have to go back to the Philippines, Arturo. This will create another scandal in the family! Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ng kapatid kong yun para ilagay sa alanganin ang dangal ng pamilya Alcantara!” My mother was getting hysterical.

“I heard, the woman he’s planning to marry is three times younger his age. Zandro said his soon-to-be-stepmother is even younger than him.” Alejandro blurted out, lips curling up in mockery. Ako naman ay nagpipigil mapahagalpak sa tawa. What is wrong with our uncle? Surely, he looked younger than his age, but would he be able to satisfy his woman in bed? But then again, my uncle was only a year older than my father, and both did not look like they have past their primes.

“Jesus Christ!” My mother uttered with both annoyance and frustration. “After Marcus, I don’t think I can handle another scandal.” She planted her fists on her narrow waist.

“Ma.” My brother and I spoke in unison. Alejandro sighed. “It’s been years, Ma. Matagal nang tanggap nila Zandro si Marcus, bakit ikaw hirap pa rin? Marcus is a good man. In fact, he’s a good example to his younger brothers and sister. Napaka-dependable na tao at magaling magpalakad sa hacienda. He’s a hands-on person. He does not let others do the work and decisions.”

Our mother faced Ale with a stern look on her pretty face. “Anak pa rin siya sa labas. Hindi na mababago ang katotohanang yan.”

“Exactly. Kaya tanggapin na lang natin iyon dahil wala naman na tayong magagawa.”

“That, I agree.” I said while nodding. Marcus was a cool dude. He’s way older than all of us. Tahimik na tao ito at hindi pala-kwento. When I first met him, pansin ko na lagi itong umiiwas sa mga tao. He did not like mingling around. He hated attention. He preferred to be alone in the dark.

 My phone beeped. Kinuha ko iyon mula sa bulsa ng aking shorts. Ezekiel sent me a private message. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. Baka mamaya virus link na naman ang pinasa ng loko.  He got me one time. I was sure as hell wouldn’t fall with the same trap again. If this was another joke, I would strangle him to death this time. I unexcitedly swiped down my screen and read the message.

Eze: Bro, kailan ang balik mo? Magtatagal ka ba diyan? Hindi ako naniniwala na diyan ka maninirahan. Knowing you.

Me: I don’t know. Why?

Eze: Well, I was planning to transfer to your University College. I want to try there. Baka dun, hiyang ako. Marami bang hot chicks dun?

Me: Matagal na kitang inaya pero ikaw ang may gusto na diyan sa Puerto Princesa magko-kolehiyo. What made you change your mind this time?

Eze: Must I have to stress the obvious, bro? Family drama.

As I suspected. Hmmm…but come to think of it. This might have been a good excuse for me to go back home. Eze was my mother’s favorite nephew. Baka sakali makombinsi ni Eze si Mama na doon ko na lang tapusin sa Pinas ang pagko-kolehiyo.

Me: Eze, I will give you all my special edition of Playboy Mags. But I need you to do something for me….

Eze: f**k you! But yeah, whatever….

I chuckled. Oh, I could sense it, almost practically taste it. I could tell that before this month would end, I was back in the Philippines.  I could not wait to breathe the same fresh air with Maya. I missed my girl.

********

I chuckled when Maya sent me a cute, grinning emoji. Our one-hour call ended just a while ago. She did all the talking because all I did was to listen to her voice. Her small gasps and cute giggles were enough to put me in a good mood.

Sinabi ko sa kanya na dito muna ako sa Palawan ng ilang araw at hahanap ako ng tiyempo para makauwi sa Batangas.

Tatlong araw na ang lumipas buhat nang dumating kami ni Mama mula Spain at agad na dumiretso kami sa hacienda sa Casa Barbara, Palawan. My mother confronted Uncle Bernardo right away. It was a heated argument, to say the least. Dahil sa gulo, naki-usap ang magpipinsan kay Mama na umalis na lang muna. Dahil sa inis, nag-paalam agad ito na tutungo muna sa Fortress Island. I was about to tell her if I could come with her, but she just blatantly glared at me.

“I know what’s running in your head, Romano. You think you can trick me, son? Sasama ka sa akin sa isla at mula doon tutungo kang Batangas, tama ba?”

Damn it. She’s smart.

“You will not set your damn foot in Batangas, Romano, not until I told you so!” She yelled in front of me. My timing was bad. I should have chosen another day.

“Maya is not there anymore, Ma. Bumalik na siya ng Maynila.” I retaliated. Gusto ko lang kunin ang canvas na iniwan ko sa aking kwarto sa malaking bahay. Hindi ko yun nagawang dalhin dahil kapag malaman o mapansin ni Mama, baka itapon niya iyon.

“Bro.”

Habang namamahinga ako sa lawn ng malawak na hacienda, lumapit si Eze sa akin. Binitawan ako ang hawak na papel at ballpen. Tumabi ito sa akin.

“Malapit na birthday ni Jiro.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. Hindi ako gaanong close sa mga pinsan nila Eze sa mother side. Pero kapag magkakasama kaming lahat sa iilang okasyon ng pamilya, masasabi kong hindi sila mahirap pakisamahan.

“O, ngayon?” Bagot ko na tanong.

“Nasa Maynila siya ngayon at hindi makauwi dito sa Palawan dahil busy sa cramming. Bukod pa roon, hindi rin niya pwedeng dalhin ang girlfriend niya dito. Alam mo naman si uncle Trudes. Makakagalitan yun pag nagkataon. Gustong lumuwas ni Jeremiah para may kasama naman ang kuya niya sa kanyang kaarawan at gusto niyang sumama tayo. Nasa Maynila na rin naman sila Zandro at Winston. Si Rafael ay hindi pwedeng sumama dahil hindi tiyak yun papayagan ni Papa. Kung makakauwi ba si Alejandro, mas masaya. Ano sa tingin mo, game ka?”

“Wag mo nang asahan si Ale. Magiging busy na yun para sa darating na pasukan. Si Marcus, inaya mo?”

Eze scrunched up his nose. “Si Marcus aalis sa Palawan? Para mo na ring inalis ang isda sa tubig.”

Hinimas ko ang aking baba at saglit na nag-isip. An idea popped in my head. “How about we celebrate Jiro’s birthday in our villa in Batangas?”

“Huh?”

“C’mon. Manila is overrated. Maraming beaches sa Batangas at kahit nga sa villa lang tayo, pwedeng-pwede na.”

“Hmm…not a bad idea, Rom. Bihira lang din kami magawi sa Batangas. Sige tatawagan ko si Jiro. Pwede niyang isama girlfriend niya?”

“Walang kaso yun. Isam na nilang lahat mga girlfriend nila.” Ngumisi ako.

“E, girlfriend mo, hindi mo aayain?”

“Kung aayain mo ba si George.” I smirked at him.

Eze glared at me and threw his middle finger in the air while walking backwards. His phone was on his ear.

********

Laking tuwa ko nang pumayag si Mama na manatili kaming magpipinsan sa Villa Alcantara sa Batangas ng ilang araw. Nauna na itong tumungo doon dahil may meeting itong gagawin sa Lipa. Ako naman ay nagpasabi na sa gabi darating. Susunod na lamang ang magpipinsan sa makalawa. Hindi na pumalag si Mama sa plano ko dahil kasama ko naman ito sa Batangas.

Sinundo ako ni Manong Norman sa Batangas Port kinagabihan. Pareho kaming nakikiramdaman sa sasakyan. I still felt guilty about what I did, bringing Maya to the island without asking permission.

“Manong.” Tumikhim ako. “Kumusta naman po kayo.”

“Okay lang naman, Hijo. Okay lang din ang anak ko. May kumunikasyon pa rin ba kayo ni Mira, este, Maya?” He shook his head.

Bahagya kong pinilig ang aking ulo. I did not want to lie. “Opo. Wag sana kayong magalit.”

Bumuntong-hininga ito. Hinimpil ni manong Norman ang sasakyn sa gilid ng daan. Tumingin ito sa akin. “May gusto ka ba sa anak ko, Romano?”

Shit. This was not the right time and place. But I guess, I had no choice but to tell the truth.

I looked him in the eyes and curtly nodded. “Opo. May gusto po ako kay Maya. I like your daughter, Manong Norman. I like her very much.” I did not stutter even though my heart was wildly beating against my chest.

He gazed at me for God-knows-how long until he gave me a tight nod. Umayos ulit ito ng upo. Humugot ito ng malalim na hininga. “Gusto ka rin ba ng anak ko?”

I bit my inside cheek. I shouldn’t be the one answering this. Wala sa loob na napakamot ako sa aking batok. “Siguro po?” Alanganin kong sagot.

Bahagya itong tumawa. “Mag dise sais pa lang ang anak ko, Romano. Kung mahihintay mo—”

“Mahihintay ko po. Hihintayin ko po si Maya hanggang sa maging handa na po siya, Manong.”

“Ilang taon pa ang hihintayin mo, Romano.”

“I don’t care po. Handa po akong maghintay sa kanya. While waiting for her, mag-aaral po akong mabuti at mas lalong pag-iigihan ang paggawa ng musika.”

He titled his head. He seemed surprised. “Maririnig na ba kitang kumanta niyan, hijo?” Magaan na ang tono ng boses nito. I could finally breathe freely.

Tumango ako. “Maya likes to hear me sing. I finally made up my mind, po. I will take a short course for music para mas lalong lumawak ang aking kaalaman. Bukod sa gusto ko rin talaga matuto, gusto ko rin tuparin ang kahilingan ng anak n’yo.”

He let out a laugh. “Naku, naimplwensiyahan ka na ng anak kong yun. Kumanta ka dahil iyon ang nais ng iyong puso, Romano.”

“Ang nais ng aking puso ay kumanta, Manong. Si Maya po ang puso kong iyon.” Nangingiting sambit ko.

Lalong lumakas ang tawa nito. “Napana ka na nga ni kupido. Pero ito sasabihin ko sa’yo. Maswerte ka sa anak ko.”

“Alam ko po iyon.” Matamis akong ngumiti.

“Wag mo nalang muna ipaalam sa Mama mo ang tungkol sa bagay na ito. Pag-usapan nating tatlo ang relasyon ninyo sa susunod na araw.”

Kumunot ang aking noo. Hindi mapigilang kumalabog ang aking puso. “Nandito po ba sa Batangas si Maya?”

Nag-angat ito ng kilay sa akin. Parang hindi ito makapaniwala sa tanong ko. “Hindi mo alam?”

Umiling ako. “Wala po siyang binanggit.”

Nabanggit ko sa kanya kagabi na tutungo ako sa Batangas ngayon at mananatili ng ilang araw kasama ng mga pinsan ko. Pero hindi ito nagsabi na pupunta rin siya dito. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapangisi. My babe, I’m going to see my babe. Aayain ko siya sa birthday ni Jiro.

********

“Si Mama?” Tanong ko sa kasambahay nang tumungo ako sa kusina. Pagdating ko kanina ay agad kong inatupag ang pagkukulay sa canvas. Ngayo’y nakaligo na ako at handa nang umalis ng bahay. Kanina pagdating ko ay hindi ko namataan ito. She would usually welcome me with embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

I placed my phone on the table before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. I drank from it.

“Nasa garden, Romano. Kausap niya si manong Norman noong nagdala ako ng kape sa kanila kanina.”

“Sige, salamat. Puntahan ko na lang.” I was only planning to say good night to her since I’d be sleeping in my cottage tonight.

Lumabas ako ng kusina at naglakad patungo sa malawak na garden sa likod ng bahay. They’re probably at the gazebo having conversation. I hoped Manong Norman did not spill the beans to my mother.

I was getting closer to the gazebo. Their backs facing me, and they seemed like they’re in their own world. I was about to get their attention, but Manong Norman suddenly kneeled and hugged my mother around her waist.

My steps were halted. My mother sobbed as she planted her face on her palms.

“Forget me, Norman. Matagal nang natapos ang ating relasyon.”

“Pero mahal mo pa rin ako, Leona. Wag mong pasubalian ang katotohanang iyan. Hindi mo maitatanggi ang damdamin mo sa akin.”

“Norman, please. We’re too old for this foolishness. I have a family and you have yours! Hindi na mahalaga kung ano ang nararamdaman natin sa isa’t-isa. Don’t make this more complicated.”

“Kung ganoon, ipaliwanag mo ang gabing pinagsaluhan natin sa kubo ni Romano, Leona?”

“Don’t mention my son’s name, Norman! Lower you voice!” Lumingon si Mama sa paligid pero agad akong nakatago sa malalaking halaman sa aking gilid. Kuyom ang aking mga kamao. Nagtagis ang aking bagang. Sana ay nagkamali lang ako ng rinig. Sana ay hindi iyon totoo.

“Ilang beses mong pinagkaloob sa akin ang iyong sarili, Leona. Mula noon hanggang ngayon. Hindi mo maitatanggi sa akin na bawat himaymay ng iyong katawan ay ako ang kailangan. Matagal na dapat kitang nabuntis, bago ka pa naikasal kay Arturo. Nagsisi ako na naging mahina ako. Dapat ay tinakas na kita noon pa man! Pero hindi pa huli ang lahat, Leona.”

“Ano bang pinagsasabi mo, Norman! Bakit mo sinasabi ito sa akin ngayon? Akala ko’y babalikan mo na ang iyong asawa?”

“Sinubukan ko. Alam ng Diyos na sinubukan ko, Leona. Pero hindi ko kaya. Ilang taon na ang nakalipas pero heto ako ngayon, lumuluhod sa’yo sa pangatlong pagkakataon. Dinasal ko sa Diyos na sana alisin Niya ang nararamdamn kong ito sa’yo. Pero bawat paggising ko sa umaga na hindi ikaw ang kapiling, parang may punyal na nakaturok sa aking dibdib.”

“Norman.” Pumiyok ang boses ni Mama. Panay naman ang pagdaloy ng mga luha sa aking pisngi. Gusto kong sumigaw sa galit. Hindi ko akalain na may namamagitan na pala sa kanila ni Manong Norman. Akala ko’y magkaibigan lang sila base na rin sa kwento nila sa akin noon.

“May panahon pa tayo, Leona, mahal ko. Kung mahal mo ako, pipiliin mo ako sa pagkakataong ito. Lumayo tayo. Isama natin si Romano at ang aking anak. Nagkakamabutihan silang dalawa. Hindi na sila mahihirapang tanggapin ang ating sitwasyon dahil nagmamahalan din silang dalawa.”

My mother gasped loudly. “Ano? Anong sabi mo?”

“Naka-usap ko si Romano kanina. Sinabi niya sa akin na may pagtingin siya sa dalaga ko. Kausapin natin ang mga bata, Leona. Maiintindihan nila tayo.”

“No!” This time her voice raised a notch. “Hindi sila pwede. Hindi sila pwede! That’s…. That’s…gross.”

Gross? Really, mother? If my relationship with Maya was gross, how would I describe yours?

“Hindi ako papayag, Norman. Kailangan ay hindi sila mangyari. Hindi ito maaari! How could Romano lie to me about this? No, no, no. I won’t accept this.” She was panicking. “They can’t be together! They can’t be in love with each other! That’s worse than b********y!”

What? How could she say that?! Tuluyang sumabog ang galit na namumuo sa aking dibdib. I could not accept she said something like that! Anong masama sa pagmamahalan namin ni Maya? Kung meron mang masama dito, iyon ang pagtataksil niya sa aking ama! I felt sorry for my father. Knowing all this, I felt ashamed not being a good son to him.  I wished I had put more time and energy so I could be just like Alejandro. Para kahit paano, kapag nalaman niya ang kalokohan ng aking ina, he could lean on to us, his sons. I’ve had enough. This craziness must end. Hindi na dapat magpatuloy pa ang kalokohan nila.

I took a sidestep and faced them. Pilit hinuhuli ni Manong Norman ang mga kamay ni Mama dahil nagpupumiglas ito. She’s getting hysterical as she kept crying. I’d never seen her cried like this before.

“Kumalma ka, Leona. Kumalma ka.” Mahigpit na niyakap ni Manong Norman si Mama. Unti-unting nanghina si Mama. Her arms hung limply on her both sides and buried her face on Manong Norman’s chest.

“They can’t be together, Norman. We have to stop our kids.” She said in between sobs.

“Okay. Kung iyan ang nais mo.” He cupped my mother’s face in his both hands and planted soft kisses on her lips. They were kissing in front of me.

What a f****d-up sight.

“I have something to tell you, Norman. This is very important.”

Umiling ang lalake. “Kung ano man yang sasabihin mo, hindi iyan mahalaga.”

“This is about our Romano…”

Tumalikod ako. Ayokong marinig pa kung ano man ang pag-uusapan nila tungkol sa akin. My stomach heaved, bile rising in my throat. I ran away from them and stopped at the dark corner. Clutching my chest, I threw up. I couldn’t breathe. My head was throbbing I felt like it’s about to burst from so much pain. My vision getting blurred from the continuous falling of tears.

I wished I did not see them. I wished I did not hear them. I wanted to shout. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to hurt someone!

Anger brewed inside me. Every nerve of my body was on fire. My breathing heavy, my eyes darkening.

They f****d in my cottage.

They tainted my haven with their sin.

They f****d up my life. They destroyed my family. They wrecked my girlfriend’s family. How would I be able to look into Maya’s eyes knowing our parents’ disgrace? How could I tell her about our parents’ sin? How could I tell her without breaking her heart?

I didn’t know what had gotten over me. My body moved on its own accord. I headed toward the storage room. I picked up the gallon of gasoline which I knew was stocked in here. Then I went to the dirty kitchen to grab a lighter.

A voice inside me shouting telling, encouraging me to tear down this whole damn place which stink of their sins. I listened to it. I chose to listen to it.

My cottage. That needed to burn first.

I walked towards the path heading to the cottage when someone called me.

“Romano! Kanina pa kita hinahanap. Naiwan mo ang cellphone mo sa kusina.”

I looked at her with eyes devoid of emotions. Inabot ko ang cellphone at pinasok sa bulsa ng aking shorts, not bothering to glance on it.

“Anong gagawin mo diyan?” Tukoy nito sa hawak ko.

“Go away.” I said in a voice that sounded like demon to my ears.

Her eyes grew wide. She started walking backwards. Her hand covering her mouth started to tremble. She knew. Of course, she knew what I was going to do. It was all written on my face, after all.

My mind was all dark and blank as I walked toward the cottage. My steps were calculated. I refused to entertain other thoughts. I refused to see that faint glow of light at the corner of my head. All that mattered to me at that moment was to let go of the pain and anger from inside me. And for me to be able to do it, I had to do what I wanted to do—to cleanse this nasty, filthy place.

I poured gasoline all over the cottage. I concentrated, not wanting to be distracted even though I felt like I heard Maya’s voice calling me.

When I emptied the gallon, I angrily threw it away. I flicked the lighter as I stepped back. Then I threw it on the air and watched it dropped in a puddle of gasoline.

Angry flames danced before my eyes mirroring the feelings, I had in me.

My place that was once my heaven was now turning into hell…