Running (baby daddy series #2) {COMPLETED}

| 10 | What is happening?

Paulina POV

[This chapter contains material that can be offend some readers and should be read with caution. s****l assault and abuse is written here, read at your own risk.]

    Darkness. Something inside my mind and something that's now surrounding me. It's funny how those things sometimes happen to balance each other out, huh? I can't for the life of me remember what happened though. Where am I, and why am I here? 

    I remember saying goodbye to the guys and the man of my life, after that, complete darkness. Who's watching the kids? Did I do something terrible and follow one of the costumers home? No, that's below me. I have some self-respect, and I don't do anything for money. Even I have boundaries.

    Then, what happened? I can hear sounds around me, but I can't open my eyes. Am I doped or just extremely intoxicated? I don't do drugs, though, and I only drink when I have a babysitter. But I would never drink at work; I have to work with these bitches, I don't have the need to drink with them too.

    "Wendy, it's time to wake up." a voice says but I'm not able to answer.

    My whole body is aching and to breath is a big effort. All I want is to return to my blissful slumber, but the person who's talking to me appears to have other things in mind. I can feel light slaps on my cheeks, still I can't open my eyes and take in my surroundings. One hard slap on my right cheek and I jump awake.

    "Now you wake up. Really, Wendy? Do I have to hurt you in order for you to wake up and see me? Since when are you such a b***h?"

    "Since when do you have so many questions?" I answer bitterly and spit out the blood from my mouth. Somehow I bit down on my lip when he slapped me, which resulted in the copper taste that spreads inside of my mouth.

    "Oh, got sass now, do we? You are full of surprises," he says and walks around me in slow circles. "Not only did I find out that you tried to run from me, but I also found out that you got another bastard child you can't provide for."

    "I provide for them all, and don't call them that!" I hiss at the man I feared once upon a time. That fear has turned into wrath and hatred during the years. "I'm not the same girl anymore, and even if I were, I would never choose you."

    Another slap to my face and this one make me cough. Damn, punching women may be his only talent nowadays. Pathetic really, to treat women with violence when they don't do as he says. How insecure is he, seriously? Have he always behaved like this, or is it something new? Maybe I was to afraid no notice...

    I chuckle at his cavemen behavior and look at him with eyes filled to the brim with hatred. He backs away a few steps without thinking about it. I guess that he didn't stop to think about the fact that I may be someone else than that girl he fell in love with in high school, or whatever he felt.

    Well, I wouldn't call it love because this man is not capable of loving anyone or anything besides himself. He felt the need to control and conquer me, nothing else. Men like him don't change, and how many times you tell yourself that he will, you are just lying to yourself once again.

    I lost count about all the times I blamed myself instead of him. It was always me who was wrong; I never was enough. Not once did I stop to think that he may be the problem, which he was and always will be. He was responsible for behaving like a pig and mistreated me. HE was wrong, not me, never me.

    And now when he's standing here before me. All I can think about is how I never want to feel that fear and hate towards myself ever again because I don't deserve it. Nothing I did made it okay for him to discipline me with violence, threats, or rapes. No, this bastard isn't worth it.

"You haven't lost your passion for hurting women, I see." I say with a smirk on my face.

    I'm not going to let him make me cry anymore. I cried for years and even tried to end my life more than once. He will never make me feel like that again, I won't allow it. This piece of s**t deserves to rut in jail and never see the sunlight again. I know more than one person who gladly would kill his ass if they got the chance.

    Honestly, I'm not sure if I would stop them. This man is more unstable than the government, and he lives on hurting women. I do not even want to think about how many more have had to endure the same pain and fate that I have.

"Ah, mouthy as always. Don't worry dear, soon you will shut up real good." he says and opens the zipper of his jeans.

    Hell no, don't tell me that he thinks that I'm going to put his disgusting d**k in my mouth? I'm not a wham-bam-thank you ma'am kind of girl. I don't give out blowjobs like the doctor gives children lollipops. If you want one, you have to earn it, and this i***t hasn't earned s**t.

"Try to put that in my mouth and I'll bite it off." I say and give him a deadly look.

    He looks down at his d**k and hisses by the thought. Yeah, did you think that I would submit and obey just like that? No siree. I thought I got him to back off, but sadly he gave me a sadistic smirk instead before he walked up and grabbed me by the throat.

"Listen here, b***h. Just because I've got orders not to hurt you severely, doesn't mean that I can't have some fun with you. Behave, or I'm going to have to apologize profusely to my superiors." he says and grabs me by the chin until my cheeks are squeezing together.

    He throws me down on the floor and open my jeans. His hands squeeze my hips like he owned them before he drags my pants all the way down. He's eyeing my white lace panties and looks like he just found water in the desert. 

"Now why are you having these innocent panties on? You're far from innocent, nothing but a slut that's used to getting f****d behind the scenes. Don't worry, love. I'm going to f**k you senseless."

    I'm trying desperately to push him off me, but it's not easy when my hands are tied together. His thumb is circling against my clit, and I can't help but moan. Do not dare to judge me! It's a physical reaction that I can't do anything about... Even if it sickens me.

    My panties are pushed aside, and one of his fingers enters me. He's grazing my g-spot, and I close my eyes. When I hear him rustling around, trying to get his pants off, I once again tries to move away from him, but he won't let me.

"Stop squirming! You are going to get this d**k deep inside your filthy p***y, just be patient." he says and throws the pants away. 

    Before I can react, his d**k is at my entrance and teases me. Right now, I hate my body for the reactions it has on his moves. Without giving me a heads up, he pushes his full length inside me, and I cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure. It's somewhat pleasant, but it mostly hurts. Tears are starting to pool in my eyes.

    One of his hands is holding my head in a vice grip while the other holding my throat. I'm having trouble breathing, and I'm starting to panic. My nails are scratching his hand and arm. I can't f*****g breathe, and if he continues, I'm going to pass out!

"Trying not to black out? Good luck, sweetheart. Just close your eyes. When you wake up, you will understand what I truly can do."

    At that moment, I understand that he's not going to stop until I'm unconscious, and he can do whatever he pleases with my weak body. Once again, I'm helpless against Jake. One of the best but also the worst things that ever happened to me is using me. The last thing I hear before darkness overtakes me is his grunting.

                                          ----------------------------------------------------  

    When I wake up, I'm disoriented, and my body feels like someone ran over me. I'm lying down on a dirty mattress. I look down between my legs and see a big stain of blood. When I try to move, I immediately understand why. Not only my p***y is sore but also my asshole. That fucker!

    Even though I told myself not to cry anymore because of him, now I can't refuse it. Not only my body, but also my soul is hurting. I feel so defiled and dirty. My face feels tight and small flakes of something white is falling from it when I move. That bastard put his seed on my face too!

    I crawl into a fetal position and cry my heart out. There's blood everywhere, and I know that every little drop of it is mine. What the hell did he do to me? My legs and arms have dark blue bruises all over them. I feel like one of those punching bags at the gym.

    Of all my injuries, my back is what hurts the most. I remember a similar pain and that was when Jake carved 'w***e' on my back. I've always been ashamed of it after the incident. Thank God, it's not that visible anymore. The scars are still there but you have to watch it closely to see it. Anyway, it's always there.

    Please, don't tell me that he carved something else there. Those freaking scars have been my greatest shame and I don't want to feel that again! Succesfully I sit up and my back is hurting badly when I move it away from the mattress. Unfortunately, my guess was right. I can see letters in the blood. Rev, something.

    Probably the Revellie brothers. Is Jake working for them? Why would he do that? Jake has wealthy parents and much money in the bank. He doesn't need these shady jobs to get cash. Or is it a facade to start a mob war? Only God knows... Right now, I don't care. My tears won't stop, and I'm sobbing loudly.

    Why are things like these always happening to me? Am I such an evil person that I deserve something like this to happen? I feel so lonely and pathetic right now, lying here, barely moving. I don't even know if there's still someone here or not. I could easily be alone in this hell hole, wherever it is.

    I hope that my babies are safe. Brianna is hopefully still watching them; she would never leave them unsupervised. Oh, they must be worried about me, and I can't do anything about it! I try to rise and succeed in standing for about three seconds before I fall again—a horrified scream echoes in the building.

    It takes me a moment to realize that the scream comes from me. I'm the one screaming, from the misery, pain, sadness and agony. My body is too heavy for me to carry on my legs, I lay down on the mattress again, feeling dizzy. The tears subside and I'm half asleep when someone is lifting me up.

    I whimper from the pain, and someone is making much noise that I can't figure out what it is. Is it voices or things breaking? It could be both; my mind is at another place right now. I hope this person isn't going to hurt me anymore. Not that it would matter anyway, I'm already dead.