Running (baby daddy series #2) {COMPLETED}

    My heart is burning. I have left him behind. My beauty, my love, the air that I'm breathing, my Damien... If you for one second think that it was easy for me to just leave like that, then you're incredibly wrong. It may have looked bitchy to leave those who always tried to help me, above all my best friend Adrien. Sometimes in life, you will be cornered and then you will have two choices. Get yourself out of there or suffocate in that very same corner. I made that choice with not only a big amount of pain but also with strength. In your eyes it might have looked like a coward’s way out, but what I did, I did out of pure strength and power.      I'm not that same broken down and fragile little girl I once was when I met Jake. No, I have grown and finally I can see clearly. I make the decisions in MY life, not someone else. And this was the best choice at the time. Even if it still hurts this many years later. I have never forgotten him, or his love and I miss him every f*****g day. I don't know if he is looking for me or if he ever did, some part of me hopes that he does but another is begging the universe to make him stop in that case. He deserves happiness and I'm the cause of his misery, he shouldn't be with me. Because I don't deserve him anymore, maybe I never did.     I wish that I could tell you that my life is better now, but if I did, I would be lying. Me and the boys are fine though, I guess that's what's important. The boys are five years old already, time has passed incredibly fast. Five years have passed since I left not only my best friend, but my whole world and what I once called my life behind me. I've tried to date, but I simply can't. It doesn't feel right to be with any other man than Damien. No one gives me the sparks as he did, maybe he is the only one who can make them within in, what do I know? Do not get me wrong, I have gone on a couple of dates, but it doesn't work for me.     Besides, most of my dates have fled when they heard about me having children. My working situation is not something desirable either. Before I moved, I worked as a personal assistant as you all know. But when I moved here, I had to change a lot of things. My once dark hair is now platina blonde, my name is no longer Wendy and I no longer work as an assistant. I'm nowadays Paulina and I wish that I didn't have to tell you about what I work as but... I'm a stripper. Not those cheap ones, I work in an explicit strip club where you need to have like a Dolce Gabanna suit to get in and earn a lot over average, yeah you know the places.      I didn't like my job, but I had to take care of my boys and this was the only place I knew that I could work without someone questioning my past. Here it was only 'show me your jugs', 'private dance please' or 'honey, you are gorgeous when you're naked'. If Damien, Jaxon, or Adrien against all the conjecture looking for me, then this was hardly the place they would look for. I neither wanted nor could be found by them, not after the information my father conveyed to me. Me and my sons were in a serious and life-threatening situation. It was virtually explosive and could be blown up at any moment.     But I'm jumping ahead of myself, there's no need to spoil everything before it even started now, is it? Everything will be explained and talked through in time. In the meantime, can we all go back to me being miserable? Yes, I'm wallowing in self-pity right now. That's what the single mom does to you. Well no, it doesn't. The stripper job though, that sure does that. It breaks down your spirit piece by piece, thank God that my spirit was dead before I even came here. I moved around a lot in an attempt of whoever was chasing me (if it even was someone doing that from the beginning) to lose track of me.      Self-centered much? Well, I don't try to be if that's any consolation. I know I made my choice and I stand by it. However, the pain does not disappear. The memories of that day are still as fresh and painful today as they were then. It's probably my karma that pays out compensation, the bad part. What goes around, comes around and all that. I deserve it, I am aware of that but... I was bulletproof and he was the one who shot me...