Running (baby daddy series #2) {COMPLETED}

| 15 | Please, believe me

Paulina POV

  I wake up by the morning rays of the sun dance across my face through the blinds' crevices. A smile appears on my lips, rejoicing that the sun is looking forward to our usually gray atmosphere. Today will be a good day, I'm sure. None of the children have made any sounds, which means that they are still lying embedded in their beds.

  I sneak into the bathroom and take off my pajamas. Humming, I clean both hair and body before I step out again to make breakfast. I'll take out a bowl from the cupboard, eggs, bacon, and a whisk. My little family is getting an omelet with bacon on the side today. While the foods are frying, I turn on coffee and check my mail to pass the time.

'Paulina, I'm sorry to have to tell you that you're fired. You have not been present on your shifts, nor have you been able to get hold of. We thank you for your services and wish you all the best in the future- club Colette'

  The email make me sigh. So I've lost my job and have to find a new one. This isn't going to be a good thing when future employers call the club to ask about my job quality; in itself, I probably won't list the club at all when I think about it. This is still a setback, regardless.

  I'm sure Damien can find me a job. He always says he wants to help me. But I do not want to have to lean on him all the time; after all, I am an independent woman who can take care of herself. His charity is not necessary here. It's not exactly the case that we're going to live here permanently anyway.

  You know what I said earlier about this day going to be a good day? I'll take it back. The sudden desire to crawl down under the covers again washes over me like a flood. No, it's what I'm doing about it, which will be all right. I turn on 'Immortals' on the Bluetooth speakers to wake the kids, the brothers, and Adrien; it's time to get up.

  The music plays for a while before I hear they all slowly wake up. Okay, it's taking too long; time to bring out the big guns. Instead of an upbeat song, I put on 'Come with me to the other side,' it's slow initially, but I know that they all are going to be here any minute now.

  In the meantime, I pour up a cup of coffee and turn the omelets into the various frying pans. I laugh at myself as I dance around the kitchen and sing too full of a throat to wake every person in the whole house. The former mood before the shower returns bit by bit to me.

  Everyone stands and stares at me with their hair standing in all directions. I laugh and stretch my hands out to Caleb, who takes them right away. We dance around with each other, and he knows the song well; therefore, he also sings. He shakes his ass, and I do the same, we rock together!

  The other three kids hang on and even dance them with us while the grown men stare at us as if we escaped from the psyche. My phone rings and I pick it up, but solidifies when I see who it is. I walk away a bit and close the door around me as the music continues to play.

"Hello, Paulina. How are you? I never got an answer to my question on another date."

  This is William; I went on a date with him a while back. He's a cute and funny person, but not someone for me. Like you all already have figured out, the only man for me is Damien. I haven't called back because it feels just as shitty every time I have to do it.

    Since none of them is Damien, there is also no legitimate interest. The people I've dated have been friendly, and that's why I feel bad every time I finish something before it's even started. How am I supposed to crush another person's hope once again?

"I'm fine; thank you. I should have called you a lot earlier, you'll have to excuse me, but there's been a lot going on for a while now." I say and try to sound as polite as possible.

"Oh, it's okay. Life comes in between sometimes, no bad feelings here. But what do you say? Dinner, you and me on Saturday?"

"Well..." I start, but I don't have time to answer before a furious Damien stands beside me and takes the phone from my hand.

"Okay, buddy. She's not going to be able to be with you this Saturday or any day for that matter. Bye now." Damien says and throws the phone on the bed before walking out of there.

"Hey!" I run after him. "You have no goddamn right to do things like that!"

"Oh, so now you're out dating whatever men you find, like a common w***e? No wonder you work at that disgusting club," he yells.

  I freeze. I've been mistreated inside the club by both employees and customers, but not a single one has ever made me feel like a w***e. The man in my life, on the other hand, he just did it. Tears fill my eyes, and his eyes are wide, as if he understood what he was saying.

"Mommy, what's a w***e?" Fiona's voice asks, and I see that we're back in the kitchen, everyone heard what he said.

"Ask your daddy, sweetheart. Because apparently, mommy is one." I sniff before running back into my bathroom and lock the door.

  How can he think or even say something like that? I'm single and can date whoever I want. He has no right to deny or judge me for those choices I make in my life, just as little as I can condemn him and his dating. This was a low blow, and he apparently realized it when it's too late.

  Damien knocks on the door over and over again, repeating how sad he is. But now, I don't care anymore. I can't take this anymore. All I wanted was to try to make this work and take baby steps towards a better relationship that we could then spin on, apparently that was too much to ask.

    We are a finished chapter, as simple as that. He gets to decide what days or weeks he should have Fiona; in addition to that, we have no reason to talk to each other. Although Damien has never beaten me or hurt me physically, he mentally hurts me whenever he squeezes out such stupid things without thinking.

  A sudden rage builds inside me, and I throw a vase into the wall; it breaks with a loud crashing sound. I scream in frustration and pain before slamming my fist into the wall, making it crack in the process. Footsteps echo in the hallway outside.

"Paulina, can you please open the door? It's just me, Jaxon and Brody." Adrien's voice says on the other side of the locked door.

  I don't hesitate to open the door. Neither one of them have done anything that would earn them my rage in return. They're simply innocent victims in the drama Damien created without thinking once again. If he thinks I'm going to stand by and watch him treat me like crap, he's totally wrong.

  The men are watching me pace back and forth inside the room, mumbling curse words under my breath, and repeatedly drag my hand through my hair. My breathing is fast, and it's clear as a day that I'm pissed off. Adrien is the first one to speak to me.

  (If you want to set the mood, put on 'paralyzed' by NF.)

"Are you okay, princess?" he asks in a calm voice before moving to me.

  His open arms, and that soft smile of his looks really appealing. I don't hesitate to hug my best friend; he's doing what he does best, calm me down. Adrien strokes my hair slowly and doesn't stop until he's sure that I won't assault anyone.

"He shouldn't have said that," Brody says with an annoyed expression.

"No, he shouldn't have, but he did, and now I'm done."

"What do you mean?" Jaxon asks and looks worried.

"Done, finito. I can't handle his f****d up insults and mood swings anymore. I've done everything I can think of to do my best to achieve a better relationship between us. But all he does is kick my legs away when I finally got up, which makes me fall again. I can't trust him, and I won't. His and Fiona's relationship is what's important, and I won't stand in their way. But this, all of it has to end. I had to endure abuse and insults from my mother, father, teachers, so-called friends, Jake, and now Damien. Enough is enough!" In the end, my voice breaks, the tears trailing down my cheeks to my neck.

  Brody and Jaxon looks at each other with sad faces; they know that I'm right. I shouldn't have to endure things like this from Damien. Wasn't it he who told me that he would keep me safe and not hurt me? Well, guess what? He did, more than anyone else.

"Are you sure that this is what you want to-"

"Why is it always like this? I'm a human being. No one's going to have to suffer through what I've had to do. He kills me slowly through his words and everything that happened before. I feel empty; there's no point in continuing on anything that rages over and over again. He has to let me go, or we both die of the pain in the end." I cry out. "Please, let me go, because I can't breathe," I repeat it like a chant while crying.

  Adrien grabs me and hugs me tighter than ever before. He's shaking not only from my sobs but also from the rage he feels towards the man of my life, my Damien, who isn't mine. I need to make them understand; they must see what pain he's making me battle through.

"I would fit into the form; I would shoulder the roles of my parents. I was supposed to match Damien's standards, but I lost control. No one knows me here anymore, because everybody knows the monkey. He doesn't get it because he's proud of the one he created. All I wanted was just to be loved; I would do what entirely. But it's hard to feel love when I'm not myself. Because who does he love if I pretend to be someone else? A thousand f*****g thoughts now, I have to pull myself together. I've done everything he wanted, played in his costume, and you know what? I'd rather be a misfit if that's supposed to be healthy. Damien turns his coat after the wind, because he thinks that I will stand still, all I have is my words and they he can never take. I haven't slept deep since I lost my magic, I've betrayed my nature, to feed a machine. Now I have my children to pave the way for, and I'll go to sleep there next door, to find where I want.

The body feels heavy when he presses on top of me; I drown in templates that he always pushes out of himself. Damien only hunts status, and there is never enough. He doesn't feel anything.he's cold as a machine. His words are of no value, 100 cooks become just soup. The only thing that drives him is the fear of flopping. He looks where others point and gives them what they ask for. But the emperor is crazy, stop pretending that he knows something, I can never be the cog in his wheel. I have to get out of here, but I don't know-how. It was love that gave me drive, not statistics, but my magic disappeared ever since he came back. I can't do this anymore. I've had enough." I sob and feel the world disappear around me.