Never Again

Chapter 6 – Stubborn Past

Still half asleep, I rolled to my bed, stretched my arms, and searched for my cellphone. I usually place it on the side table, but my hand couldn’t find it. My arms reached out to the floor, feeling the cold wooden floor. Maybe it fell, and went under my bed again. Did I forget to turn on the alarm? What happened last night? I groaned. Instead of recalling my past evening, I made a quick recollection of what I should do today. I have to go to the agency to submit another application. In the afternoon, I had to go to Mrs. Fritz’s house to tutor her two children, then head to Jane’s to babysit her three children while she attends an important dinner event. With my eyes still closed, I sighed heavily. This will be another busy day for me. To be honest, everything was exhausting already, but I badly needed the money to pay the bills.

I moaned when someone opened the curtain. The sunlight kissed my face and I murmured a complaint as I continued to search for my phone.

“What are you looking for, honey?”

“Mom?” I muttered sadly and I started to sniff. I missed her very much. I inhaled her familiar scent. She always smells like this - honey and lavender.

“Wake up honey! You’ll be late for class.” She peeked under the bed. “What are you looking for anyway?”

“My cellphone,” I said, still sleepy.

“Your what?”

I didn’t need an alarm clock for this. My eyes opened wide as I saw my beautiful mom trying to find what I was searching for. When she couldn’t find any, she sat on the bed.

“Mom?” I said in disbelief. I thought everything that had happened yesterday was a dream. Or maybe I am not awake yet. I was still in that limbo, and for some reason, I could not go back to my 55-year-old body, but who cares.

I hugged my mom and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re the best mom in the world, remember that mom,” I smiled, still feeling emotional. She kissed me at the top of my head.

“And you’re the best eldest daughter I have.” She said sweetly. She sat beside me and looked at me intently. “Now, are you ready to tell me about last night?”

I groaned and covered my now red face with my palm. I shook my head with great shame. “I don’t want to get involved with him, mom,” I assured her. If only I could tell her about the mess we created in the future.

“Really? But last night...” She narrowed her eyes, but her smile told me otherwise.

Now, I was hundred percent awake. I felt the heat continuing to rise on my cheeks as soon as I recollected everything that had happened. I wondered how much they had seen last night.

“Let’s talk when you’re ready. Besides, I like him for you. Who cares about the rules?” She tucked a few strands of my hair at the back of my ear. “As long you’re happy.”

If this was my second chance, getting involved with him again was like repeating history itself. I wish I could tell her about my messy life in the future. My heart ached as I remembered the longing and pain. It was enough to give me the courage not to entertain my feelings for him.

She tugged my arms slowly. “Get up now my princess and take a shower. They’re waiting downstairs.”

“Who?” I raised my eyebrows. “What?” I practically ran to the stairs but stopped halfway when I saw them in the living room. Jane, Ed, and Albert. They were being entertained by Sienna, who was chatting to them animatedly. Whatever the topic was, she surely got their attention, especially Albert.

He looked dashing as ever. He glanced at me and mouthed ‘good morning,’ but I replied with a scowl, making him smile.

I ran back upstairs to take a shower and prepare for school. I was just glad I have my 55-year-old spirit and will in me. Moving fast in the morning has become my specialty since traffic jam was bad in the future.

Before I took my bag and hurried downstairs, I quickly checked myself in the mirror. I suddenly felt nostalgic wearing my overalls again, which I always paired with my fit cream cashmere and sneakers. This was one of my favorites. Being young again was great.

“That was fast,” Sienna teased. I saw her handing over our photo album to Albert. He did not glance at me. Maybe my baby pictures were more interesting for him.

“What are you doing?” I growled at her. It was too late to snatch the album from him. Sienna was laughing as I tugged her ponytail. As much as I love my sister, I wanted to strangle her now.

She stuck her tongue out to tease me more. “I was just showing Albert how ugly you were when you were a baby.”

I groaned and shouted, “Dad!” I was hoping to look for someone to back me up. He showed up from the kitchen chuckling.

“You’re not ugly. You’re as cute as a teddy bear. Breakfast?” Seeing my dad in his favorite apron sent me an emotional wave of happiness. I ran to him, leaned my head on his shoulder, and put my arms around his waist.

“Now, my teddy bear, grab your breakfast with your friends and scram. You don’t want to be late for school.” He kissed my forehead and led me to the table.

Like children, we hurried to the dining table. I could not help looking around. I knew I had seen this many times, but today was extra special for me. This was the first time I saw our house in daylight after so many years. Just weird though, that people think it is present, but for me, it was part of my memory.

The dining room was our favorite place in the house. My mom had her concept of a happy place design. Last year, they painted the wall white and gray, and the tables and chairs were sunlight-yellow, white, and cobalt blue. The lacy curtain was open to welcome the sunlight. They always believed that a cheery design would always make our every meal a happy one.

“Hot choco comin’ up,” Dad went out of the kitchen with a tray of cups. He stopped in front of me to kiss the top of my head before giving mine. “I put extra mallows there,” He whispered which made me giggle.

“Thanks, Dad,”

“Don’t thank me yet, ‘cause you’re grounded young lady,” He pressed my nose and made a quick look at Albert sitting at the same chair he sat last night. “I expect her to be here before dinner.” I knew it was an order and no one can negotiate on that.

“Yes, sir,” Albert answered. “I apologized again about last night,” he continued, then pressed his lips, trying not to smile. Dad just nodded at him and went back to the kitchen.

“Why are you apologizing?” I uttered those words almost like a whisper. Now, it’s him I wanted to strangle.

“Shouldn’t I?” He asked in a whisper, too. I could feel my nostrils flaring up in anger.

Our best friends, surprised by what they were hearing and seeing, asked in unison.

“What happened last night?” Ed asked, looking at his best friend.

“Did something happen?” Jane asked curiously, because I have never been grounded before. We grew up together so she knew how disciplined I am with almost everything.

“Nothing,” We answered in unison. If it wasn’t about me, it was amusing because they both asked their question at the same moment and we answered at the same time.

Jane and Ed exchanged a look. Just like mom, Jane won’t let this go of this for sure. Unfortunately, she will be in all my classes today, so she definitely won’t stop bugging me until I tell her the details. Why do we have to be in the same major? Was it too late to shift to another course? Economics was never my cup of tea anyway.

I glanced at the man sitting in front of me. When he met my eyes, I felt like I was the mallows in my hot choco. I could feel my heart melting away from his gaze. Last night’s kiss was so intense. It was different from what I remember. My cheeks were red again. I looked away and focused on my now cold choco.

This was just unfair. I released a heavy sigh. I just couldn’t believe that my past is stubbornly refusing to help me change my future.