Never Again

"Next!" The plump lady shouted from the table in front of the room. She looked bored with the monotonous work she probably does every day. I have been here many times, and she would usually do the same thing, that is to hand application forms to applicants. When it was my turn, she looked at me. "It's you again." She said sourly. She handed me the paper without smiling. I faked a smile and took the application form from her. It was already embarrassing she recognized me. Maybe, she was thinking I could not fit anywhere, which was true. I have been going to this office for more than three years now. I gave up applying directly long time ago because I always get rejected. This recruitment agency was my last hope of getting another job after I finished my contract with my previous employer. No matter how hard I work, they wouldn't hire me directly nor at least extend my contract even until Christmas. I needed the money desperately. "Next!" she shouted again. I stared at the paper, which was photocopied many times, then I started writing. Name: Selene Rivera Age: 55 years old Status: Divorce Children: None Educational Attainment: I sighed as I answered the part for the educational attainment. I was a college graduate. That's it. No other achievements except that I barely made it to graduation. At my age now, I was supposed to be successful just like my friends. Planning how I should spend my retirement should be on the top of priority list, but here I was, sitting in a chair, answering this application form, and hoping to land in a good company that would consider me. However, I doubt it. Nowadays, companies prefer young applicants who could work faster and could adapt to the changes in technology, not an old lady like me. What went wrong with my life? I have asked myself that question many times hoping to have a different answer. Yet, the obvious answer was the same. I made the wrong turn. I made wrong decisions in my life. I couldn't even think where to begin, or maybe I knew how it all began but it was too late. Way too late! I just wish that reincarnation is true so I could start again. When I finished filling up the application form, I went to the box near the doorway and dropped the paper inside with high hopes that I would be selected. I looked around the office before getting out of the door. I was the only old applicant. The rest of them were either high school or college graduates. I knew they will wouldthe priority and the agency might have to put my name on the last of their list. As I went out of the agency, the scorching heat of today’s weather embraced me. It was around thirty-five degrees already. The weather report said it would reach up to forty degrees. Unbelievable. I walked towards the bus station and sat quietly on the shady part of the bench. The scent of the food on the food stalls near the waiting shed made me hungry. I could hear my stomach growling, but then my money was just enough for the bus fare. I got my bottled water, sipped a little and shifted my mind to something else. Perhaps if someone would ask if series of unfortunate events is true, I would volunteer to testify. I was an achiever in high school, but when I got in college, I fell from being an achiever to nothing. I almost didn't make it to graduation. I was a disgrace to my family. I got married three times, but all ended up in divorce. At first, I thought they brought all these misfortunes into my life, but all my ex-husbands were happily married now, so I was convinced that I was the one who brought mishaps into them and to mine. "Hey old lady, you missed your bus." I heard a voice said to someone. I frowned as I misheard the words. It was like hey, you missed your chance. I even wanted to answer, I know. The homeless man grinned at me and repeated what he said. "You missed your bus." Startled, I stood up to realize the bus had just passed. "What the…" I disgruntled then slumped down on the bench again. Now, I had to wait for another hour. "You missed your chance." The homeless guy said. Was that supposed to be a joke? I released a long sigh. He was probably my prank for the day. I did not even notice him when I got here. "I know." I didn’t even know why I bother to answer. "Just walk," he stretched his hands and yawned. "Don't miss your chance again." He said in a lazy tone. Sometimes I envy people like them. Their lives seemed to be easier than mine. They were free to do whatever they want, and they could go wherever they wish. But I cannot miss my part-time job today. I desperately needed the money. So, I stood up and decided to follow his advice. I was, maybe ten steps away from him, when he shouted. "Miss, be careful of falling debris!" I stopped walking and shook my head. Before crossing the street, I looked back to confirm if he was still talking to me. I guess he was because he grinned and waved at me before he lay down at the side of the street to sleep. I smirked. What could fall in this broad daylight? Probably if today was the end of the world, I would thank heaven for doing so. I was tired of living my life. I should have gone home. To my family. It has been years and I lost count already the times my mother begged me to come home. Swallowing my pride was harder than living this worthless life. I did not wish to be the prodigal son in the story, that after I begged my parents to give me my share of their wealth, I went away. What would Sienna say? I guess it was too late to go back. I just wanted to die. Things were sent to try me today. I could feel the vibration of my cellphone which I placed in a silent mode while I was in the recruitment agency this morning. I searched for it inside my bag while crossing the street. When I get hold of it, I saw my employer's name on the screen. I groaned. Mrs. Fritz must be frantic by now. The most ridiculous thing that happened to me today was crossing the street and answering Mrs. Fritz’ call. Everything happened simultaneously. I heard a loud deafening beep of a fast-speeding volvo. My heart pounded as it stopped just a foot away from me. I was sweating as I realized I almost had an accident. At that moment, I completely forgot that I wanted to die. The driver must have been shocked because it took a while before he went out of his car. At that exact moment, the time must have slowed down because I could only focus on the person who almost hit me today. My eyes went from his shoes to his face. He was wearing an exceptionally expensive business suit. He was tall, well-built, and… gorgeously handsome. I stared at him in disbelief. A gasp escaped my mouth when I recognized him. "Albert?" It was more of like a whisper on my part. “Selene?” He could not believe seeing me as well. Worried, he walked towards me but just few steps before he could reach me, I ran away from him as fast I could. No! No! No! He was the reason why I was experiencing all these misfortunes in life. He was the reason why my heart was in coma, incapable of loving. He was the reason why I was away from my family. Maybe my bad day hasn't ended yet. I missed the sign beware of falling debris. I ran fast without thinking that I was already going inside the busy construction area. I stopped running to catch my breath when suddenly something hit my head hard. "Ouch." I felt the pang of pain when that something hit my head hard. I touched my head and growled. Then I heard laughter. Laughter? I opened one eye and saw Jane looking at me worried but amused. I frowned. I must have hit my head pretty hard because my best friend looked young. This morning she just complained to me about the gray streaks in her hair and wished to go to salon this weekend. "Jane?" I eyed her curiously. I opened both eyes. "Are you okay, Selene?" She twitched her mouth, trying not to smile. Disoriented, I looked around. I saw familiar faces of my classmates who were laughing at me. "What just happened?" That question was for me, but my professor answered. "Dear, you were sleeping in my class. This is not a bedroom." He said disappointedly. He showed me the book he used to smack my head. I was about to complain but my eyes widened in disbelief because when I looked up, I saw Mr. Maurice. He was young, alive, and just in his late forties. I was mortified because he died few years ago of prostate cancer. I was sure of that because I was at his funeral. "If you are not interested to listen, you can go out." He said as he went back in front of the class and continued his lecture. I looked at Jane again. "Jane," I called. "What just happened?" "Hmn?" she said without looking at me. She was already busy writing in her notebook. "You fell asleep." She whispered. No, I did not. I was almost hit by an expensive car and was surprised to see that it was Albert who was behind the wheels. But I couldn't seem to tell her that story. This was a really weird dream. I recognized the white panels of the classroom, the scent of an old building, and even the surface of my table. I looked around and recognized my classmates. "What's the date today?" "September 15." She answered. She was still focused on the lecture. “1995.” I opened my mouth in disbelief. Now it was confirmed I was dreaming. Or maybe I was hit by the car, and I am now dead. I could be in limbo. I looked around me again and studied the face of everyone in the class. I couldn't be more wrong. I was eighteen again.