On My Own

Chapter 11 Mistakes Happen

Natalie's POV

I wave at William who has such a handsome smile on his face, looking amazing as usual at this point, I reluctantly drive off on a mission to get a job even thought I would rather stay there with him.

I'm going to start at the restaurants that are close by to my place because I don't want to have to be too far just because of weather or anything along those lines.. I don't like to be late and being close practically prevents that from happening.

I stop on by at a couple bars and restaurants and I get shot down almost right away just because they are not hiring right now.. but not because they weren't interested I me.. I guess..because I got hit on multiple times then shut down for a job.. so that sucks.

I keep going trying all day to keep my head up as I apply for secretary positions and anything around the area in hopes they are hiring.. No..No..No.. sorry not hiring right now.. is all I get..dammit.. Only a couple of places have even taken the time to look at my application and resume.. but I guess some is better than none.

It's long after lunch time at this point as I get myself something fast to eat so I can continue my search sooner over later..this is harder than I thought it was going to be.

Once I'm done eating I take another way around town that's still closer to my place as I see a hole in the wall bar.. maybe dive bar.. I'm good in those types of places because I got sass and wit and people love that in these environments.. if you can't take crap and give it then you won't work well in that type of environment.

I get out a little tired and getting frustrated about my long day of shut downs.. With a resume in hand I walk in.. it's dark and dreary as I see a woman and man arguing in the middle of the bar as the guy yells at the girl, "I told you if I ever caught you stealing I would fire your ass!..I caught you so grab your things and get out! You're fired and lucky I'm not calling the cops..so don't come back..bye!" The girl looks pissed and grabs her bag as she storms out past me.

The man watches her leave as he makes eye contact with me until he says across the room, "What's a gorgeous girl like you doing in a place like this?"

I clear my throat walking up to him as extend my hand to him. He curiously takes my hand in his shaking it. "Hello my name is Natalie and I just moved here and I was hoping you might be hiring. I have bartended and served at dive bars for years now.. here's my resume just in case."

He let's go of my hand as he takes the resume out of my other hand. He looks it over then glancing at me and back to the resume.

"Well luckily for you we just had a job opening..when can you start Natalie?" He asks me as I can't take the smile off my face from actually getting a job when I didn't think it was going to happen..

"I can start tomorrow morning, afternoon, night. whenever you need me.. I just have plans tonight." I say to him as he nods and clears his throat saying. "My name is Daniel it's nice to meet you Natalie.. how old are you?"

"Nice to meet you Daniel and I'm 24." I answer back promptly as he nods saying, "Alright well you will have to let me take you out sometime and show you the town I mean I'm only 2 years older than you.. and barely your boss.. so don't worry about that.. but you can come in tomorrow afternoon at 3pm for the night time shift just wear some jeans and I will provide you with a shirt and apron." Daniel says to me as I smile and say, "I'll think about that offer for sure thank you... and I'll be here tomorrow thanks again Daniel! Have a good night!" I say smiling waving and prancing out of that place as I see Daniel just staring at me before the door shuts behind me breaking his gaze..

He seems nice but there is something weird.. he gives me a weird feeling deep in my gut that I don't like but he seems nice enough and just gave me a job so who am I to complain right now.

I don't have jeans that don't have holes in them and I'm sure he doesn't want that as my uniform so I head straight to the mall to get some work clothes.

It takes me going to a couple stores and it's getting close to closing time for all of them so I'm rushing through.. when I finally find some pants that will look nice on me, in my size and don't have holes in them.. perfect.. there are only a couple so I buy the only 3 that are in my size after I tried them on of course making sure they fit.

I get out of the store making my way through the small mall.. I walk by a stand that has a whole bunch of chocolates.. so I stop grabbing a couple boxes as I continue on out of the mall and to my car.

I have so much pep in my step as I drive through town and quickly make my way across the traffic and to my street without getting lost this time! That's a first and something for me to be proud of.

I drive down my street and see William's house light on as I park my car in my driveway.

I run into my house to change into something more comfortable since I'm going to go hang out with him for a little bit. I put on my favorite forest green low cut V shaped neckline shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans that have holes ripped in them. I grab my favorite pair of vans and look in the mirror fluffing my hair and making sure my make up still looks fine and it does. I grab the box of chocolates I grabbed for him and almost skip down the sidewalk to his front porch.

I knock lightly with nervousness but I just take a deep breathe in letting it out. trying to calm down before the nervousness gets the best of me.

William answers the door looking shocked as if I'm early or something. "Natalie I wasn't expecting you so soon I'm not done with dinner yet.. and.." is as far as he gets as I see a pair of arms wrap around his torso as a gorgeous woman looks around him saying, "who is it?"

She is stunning and everything that is better for him then I'm sure I would ever be.. she looks perfect.. how could I have ever been so stupid to think he would want me.. especially over her.. I know I wouldn't.

My eyes go wide and so do his. I hand him the box of chocolates as I stutter out. "I didn't mean to bother you with your.. oh my gosh I'm going to go before I make a bigger fool of myself.." I turn around quickly making my way off of his porch almost jumping off of it because I'm getting out of there so quickly..

I can hear him yelling for me but I shake my head trying to ignore it.. how could I have been so stupid to think he could actually want me..

"Natalie please wait you don't understand.." William says as he grabs my hand to stop me. I let him but I don't turn around.. until last second I reluctantly look up at him feeling like the biggest i***t in the world.

"Tell your..lady.. I'm so sorry for interrupting and that I'm so sorry for disrespecting you and her I didn't know I'm so sorry for my kiss last night... you should have told me you were taken Will.. I don't know why I would ever think you would want me.. I'm sorry I have got to go." I take my hand back as he yells behind me, "Natalie you really don't understand!"

"Then explain it to me Will." I say flipping back around.

"That's my daughter Emarie." He says to me as my mouth drops open.. I shake my head as I don't know what to say at that point I made myself look like an even bigger i***t.

"Natalie I do like you.. Dont get me wrong..I just don't think you have fully thought through this age difference situation.. I really think you should date a guy around your own age.. that's all." He says to me and my heart drops breaking on the ground.. I knew he was going to try to let me down nicely.. but then it clicks why..

"Oh.. well if you were embaressed of me Will you should have just said so.. I would have understood.." I say turning around as he says, "I'm not embaressed of you Natalie I swear I'm not."

I turn back around as I step closer to him responding, "You just said I haven't thought about the age difference SITUATION.. but I have and I already told you that it doesn't bother me one bit.. so if this is a SITUATION, as you say it is, that means it's a situation for you...not me.." I turn around as he says..

"I don't think I can really make you happy Natalie.. I know you would be happier with a man closer to your age.." He says to me as I feel the tears building in my eyes so I turn around as I walk closer to him until there is almost no space between us, as I retort back. "You know this do you?.. It's funny that even being over a thousand miles away from home, that I'm still getting treated the same way..That everyone around me can have a say in who I'm going to be with except me.. no one seems to care what I think or I want.. but that's the thing Will I want YOU and I'm not scared or ashamed to say it let alone show it. I have even told my family about you already..This 'wanting me to date men my own age' is an excuse because you have a problem with our age difference.. You know you felt those same feelings as me when we kissed the sparks ignited when we touch and matching so well together as if we are one when we danced and that feeling deep inside of you yearning for my touch. I felt it too and I don't want to ignore it.. so once you get over that fear of judgement and stop being afraid and embaressed of your feelings for me then you know where I will be at."

"You told your parents about me but not the age difference you can't tell me they won't care once they find out about us." He says to me staring deep in my eyes as I retort back so quickly.

"The thing is Will.. I don't care what anyone else thinks because I know I like you, I know exactly how I feel about you.. so nothing else matters.. who cares what they think they have no say in anything else in my life so why would I let them have say in this part of my life?? You know exactly who they have tried to influence me to marry so no way in hell am I letting them influence any of my decisions for my life..especially relationships decisions.. Now like I said when you get past this embaressed of me thing then you know where I'm at. Good night Will. I'm sorry if I ruined your night with your daughter."

I say turning around climbing the stairs for my front porch as he says with the sound of desperation in his voice, "I swear I'm not embaressed of you Natalie. I do want to be with you I just think you should give guys your age a shot.."

I groan and turn around rolling my eyes at him as I say, "I don't want guys my age, if I wanted that I would be going for that..why don't you get that? I want you Will..You! I won't believe you're not embaressed of me until you prove it to me.. I need someone who will claim me in public and not be ashamed to be with me, I know my worth and I'm worth more than just being a hidden secret, you said that any guy would be happy to have me at their side an yet here you are unhappy and embaressed.. it makes your words from last night hard to believe.. You know where I'll be if you ever come to terms with this.. See you later Will..Good night."

I walk into my place shutting the door behind me. I lean against the door as I feel my heart clench.. I know he likes me I can feel it inside me.. but I can tell he is fighting it and embaressed of me too which hurts real bad..he talked about how lucky any guy would be to have me and here he is not happy to have me..

I can hear him muffled on the other side of the door.. "I do like you I swear and I'm not embaressed of you.. You're amazing.. I don't know why I have a problem with the age difference.. maybe it's because your the age of my daughter.. I don't know but I swear it's not you Natalie. Please just open the door Nat."

"Like I said Will, I will believe that when I see it.. you can say all you want but it means nothing if you can't show me.. I'm going to go to bed I just want to be alone and I have to work tomorrow.. Good night Will." I say locking my door for him to hear so he knows I'm serious and pissed.

I feel the silent tears run down my face as I storm to the back of my place to my room. Shutting my curtains and getting undressed.. I turn on my music loud echoing in my small bathroom. I get in the shower letting the hot water do it's thing making me feel some sort of comfort in this hard time.. I never felt as alone as I feel in this moment right now. This is hard.. so hard..

I cry for a while as I sing as well to myself.. I know I didn't know him that well or long at all but this hurts more than any break up I have ever had.. because him and I actually had something natural that happened between us, something that just clicked inside the both of us and I could just feel it Inside of me, I was just drawn to him and all of these feelings were never forced it was a natural chemistry connection that I don't know if I will ever have again.

Will's POV

I hear her lock the door and it's like I can feel my heart clenching in my chest. I f*#ked up real bad and I know it.

I turn around and walk off the porch and turning down the sidewalk as I see my daughter with her arms crossed across her chest shaking her head at me before she says, "What was the one thing I told you not to tell her? How to live her life... I told you she already knew she wanted to be with you and I told you that you were embaressed.. dammit dad.. you obviously like her and just think about how much you hurt her feelings practically telling her your ashamed of her because of the age difference. She already felt judged and you were probably the one person who hadn't judged her and here you go making her feel like a shittier person than she already feels.. I guarantee she is in there crying feeling awful about herself because the one person she thought she had, she found our she doesnt."My daughter says this to me so spitefully as I see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Ouch Emmy that hurts." I say to her because maybe she doesn't know how she is coming off.. maybe.

"Good! I hope it hurts and maybe it will give you a miniscule idea of how bad she is feeling in there alone..all alone.. you said she was alone when she came here and there goes her last hope.. anyway.. nothing you can do to change it now..you're going to be the man I know you are and make this up to her. I don't know how.. because you have your work cut out for you but I know you feel the same way she does about you because of the look in your eyes when you were talking to me about her earlier.. Now stop being a wuss, because if you don't do something I know you will regret it for the rest if your life." My daughter says to me with so much anger laced in her voice.

I look at her and respond, "She won't let me in to her place to even try to talk to her right now."

"Of course she won't..you will have to wait until she is not so hurt and pissed. That will give you time to figure out what to do to make this up to her.. unless you really don't want her because you're scared of your feelings." Emarie says staring at me as I scoff and walk past her responding, "Of course I want her."

"Good! Then be the strong go getter dad I know you are and get your happy ending.. You deserve it as much as mom does.. But don't sit here being a big baby and not getting it because your scared of what people might think of you.. That's weak and she needs a strong man in her life. So don't try to win her back unless you actually want her.. because you hurt her again like that and I'll kick your ass myself."She says glaring at me still.

I nod again in response as I make my way inside my house. Emarie stops me as she says. "when the oven beeps take it out or it will burn.. but I have to go since this dinner isn't happening and you need to think about a way to make this up to her.." I love you daddy."

"Love you too Emmy.. thanks for helping hopefully I can figure this out." I say to her as she gives me a big hug saying in my ear, "You're so determined if you really want her I know you will get her.. and she seems lovely.. she was so respectful to you and I before she even knew what our relationship was.. but also has a smart strong head on her shoulders and is just as determined as you... perfect for you.. don't lose her."

I nod as she let's go and leaving out of the house.

The oven dings and I take the food out setting it on the top of the oven to cool down.

I walk up to my room and hear music coming from the window, I wander over to the window to see the curtains are shut. I groan until I hear the shower shut off in her room as I run down my stairs to the oven plating some dinner into a tubberware container.

I run out of the house over to her front door knocking again.. I can hear her shuffling around as she swings the door open.. she is soaking wet all over with only a small towel around her body barely covering the best parts. I watch as water drips from her hair and cascades down the top of the exposed cleavage that I can see. I swallow the lump in my throat as she says, "What do you want Will?"

I open and shut my mouth trying to figure out what to say as I just hold the tubberware forward.

"I know you didn't eat dinner and I wanted to make sure you ate something before you had to work tomorrow and congrats about the job.." I say to her trying to be nice. She slowly almost carefully takes the tubberware from me as she states.

"Thank you I haven't ate dinner and I'm starving after my long day... I start at the dive bar Moose Magoos as a bartender tomorrow.. not much but it's something.. when I had walked into the bar the manager had just fired the bartender so I instantly applied and he of course hired me because he needed the extra help.. but is that the only reason why your here?" She states then asks staring me straight in the eyes with the most stern look on her face.

I shake my head she she raises an eyebrow at me waiting for what I have to say.

"I'm sorry.." is all I can get out.. there is an awkward silence between us..as I can see her jaw clenching until she spats, "I'm sorry too, for believing you could be different and something better for me. Good night William.. thank you for dinner it smells amazing."

She shuts the door and locks it again. I huff and groan knowing this going to be hard to take care of.. if I can..so hopefully I can. I make my way back to my place feeling lower than low to the point that I can't even eat so I put the rest of the dinner into another tubberware and into the kitchen as I walk up the stairs and off to bed.